BETA READ by Peetsden & repossessme

Angst. Drama. ... That's all.

Chapter 1

Hermione's gaze trailed over her old room. It hadn't really changed much at all since she had moved to live with Ron over a half decade prior now. A made double bed rested against the wall opposite the door to the hallway. A small night table stood on the left; one wall was occupied with a tall wooden wardrobe and a desk and chair – the same one where the door was. Both others were nearly entirely taken by bookshelves, so when she sat on the bed and looked to the right or left, all she saw was books. Hermione had already collected a fair lot of them over the years and had never had the heart to move any to the attic as her mother had sometimes suggested, despite the fact that there was at least a minor number she never read anymore. She liked to be surrounded by them, because they symbolized her childhood and path to her current knowledge and position. Her mum and dad had always kept her room like it had been then. Hermione, to no one's surprise, had taken most of her books with her to where she and Ron lived. She had never asked why, and they had never mentioned, but she was glad. Hermione Granger was glad to have someplace to call home regardless of what had happened.

What had happened was the end of her and Ron's relationship. It certainly hadn't been a very easy decision to make, but one Hermione had thought was the most honest to both herself and the ginger wizard who would have been her husband if she hadn't called it all off. The conversation in which she had told him had not been one she ever would forget. It might have been nearly the toughest she had ever made in her entire life. The memory sat fresh in her mind, and it overwhelmed her yet again like so many times in the last two months. Hermione slowly lowered her wine glass and rested it against her thigh, leaning her head against the tall headboard. Her eyes fluttered shut, letting herself go under again. She knew that she couldn't stop it all anyway. At least she could allow it to happen without necessarily bursting into tears again. Despite being painful, it had been truly the best, most honest, when she thought rationally. She was getting used to living with her folks again, too. The consequences of her decision were getting easier to bear.

When she had said she thought they needed some time apart for her to get everything together, that maybe their wedding should be called off for now, Ron's temper definitely had made an appearance. His ears had turned scarlet as always when he was upset in any way, and his voice had trembled when he asked her why, trying to contain his anger and not scream at Hermione. He hadn't even seen it coming. Then again, Hermione hadn't either until that night when she hadn't been able to sleep and had come across this scene of The L Word…

Hermione had calmly tried to say that everything had gotten a tad too overwhelming, since marriage was a big deal and she wanted to really clear her head. He had yelled a fair few times that he wasn't getting it and even suggested that she had met another, to which she had tried to respond with that same calm that no, she wasn't seeing or being with someone else at all, that she wasn't fucking someone else behind his back and that he should know her better if he thought of it as a possibility. She never would have shared the bed with anyone, not even Minerva, while still with Ron.

A silence had followed, and then his voice had been unusually calm when he said, "You aren't coming back, are you?"

She had looked him in the eye, not knowing what to read in those blue depths before saying in a small, defeated voice, suppressing tears, "We'll see. I'm sorry, Ron."

At that, he had only nodded, saying, "Me, too," before turning and leaving their house without more. She had just stood there looking after him until after he had left, before taking a deep breath to gather her wits and doing what she knew that she should do. By the time Ron got home again hours later, all Hermione's essential belongings, along with her clothes and books (everyone knew her books were some of Hermione Granger's most essential and precious belongings anyway), had been gone and a note lay on the kitchen table, held down with her engagement ring, informing him that she had taken her most necessary stuff and had gone to her folks if he or anyone needed her.

They had very been surprised alright, to find their daughter on the doorstep that night, with a bag over one of her shoulders. She had told them what she had said to Ron and had begged them to please not ask any more questions, for it all was difficult enough already. They had accepted that and never asked any more about it, with the exception of her mother once. It had been the second week after Hermione had moved in again when her father had had to be at work early and both women had been left at the table, when her mother had gently tried to ask what had happened. Hermione had replied she knew that she was only concerned and was very grateful, but it was something between her and Ron and something she herself had to come to terms with first. Jean Granger never asked about it again. She had quietly smiled and nodded in understanding and that had been it. Hermione had left for the Ministry minutes after.

Everyone at the Ministry, with the exception of the occasional curious twat, of course, had been exceptionally quiet about their unexpected breakup. Ron, as expected, had gone straight to Harry and Ginny when she told him about taking time apart and temporarily calling off their wedding. Each of them had informed only their closest companions and family in much the same terms as Hermione had informed Ron. By now, two months after with absolutely no plan of her returning to Ron and them getting married after all, she assumed basically everyone knew as she wasn't being questioned. Of course, Rita Skeeter had tried to get the juicy details from her, but after Hermione only mentioning the word 'beetle', she had steered clear and as far as she knew hadn't tried to get at Ron either. It had been tough at first to see the people they both counted as their closest companions either together or even alone, but things were slowly settling. Ron still occupied the house where they had lived together and they had agreed to sell it once Ron had found somewhere new to live, not being very keen on moving back to The Burrow despite Molly's insistent offers. Hermione wasn't particularly looking for a new house. She didn't believe her folks wanted her to leave right away – in fact, they told her often enough that they were glad that she was living with them again for it made things livelier. Some of her meetings with Ron, as Hermione had expected, had consisted of yelling without actually agreeing to anything , but some had been successful – like the one in which the situation with the house they had bought together a year after the Battle was arranged.

She had come to accept the fact that she was not a straight woman at all – really, it was just too unfortunate that she had had to discover that about the same time as she discovered she was no longer madly in love with this man she would have married. She knew this now; some months in relative peace with no pressure of an impending wedding and whatnot had surely proved… enriching, as had looking up things on the net and reading stories of women who had experienced similar things.

She still thought of Minerva McGonagall sometimes, dreamed of her sometimes. Hermione had no doubt that they could have something beautiful together if given a chance. Despite the fact that Minerva was a woman and much older, plus her former professor and thus unlikely to fall for her, Hermione thought that they had a lot in common. She liked to believe that she intellectually-stimulated Minerva in conversation, like the other woman did to her. Over the years, it had shown that they thought the same about a great deal of matters, too. They just never talked about homosexuality or even bisexuality. Then again, there were a lot of personal matters they never had discussed.

No, if it hadn't been for those three things, Hermione thought that they could really have something beautiful. However, these were just the three things neither she nor Minerva could change even if she were willing and even though McGonagall had surprised many with her magic in later years already. Therefore, Hermione hoped that as she thought their love could grow to something meaningful when given the chance to be together to let it blossom, those thoughts would slowly disappear and feelings dampen to a minimum when not together. Maybe if not given the chance or torture herself more by suggesting to see her or anything, they would disappear and she could move on either with a woman or a man but not Ron or Minerva.

Author's Note: Ah, my last... for a very long time.