It wasn't the best room at Dalton. In actuality it was the worst. But beggars can't be choosers, as they say. All the usual dorm rooms at Dalton were taken at the start of the school year. A handful of them were large single rooms for those with very wealthy parents. Most had the regular 2 person dorm rooms, adequate but usually somewhat cramped quarters. The joys of dorm life. At first Dalton was fine with Kurt enrolling mid-semester until they found out he also wanted to room there. A fair number of the students lived close enough to the school as to live at home with their families. But it was nearly an hours drive each way for Kurt and his car wasn't the most reliable. Sure, his dad could always fix it up when it broke down but it was still a bit of an older clunker. But hearing that Kurt's life might be in danger the headmaster of Dalton finally showed them the little room that was hardly ever used. It was up on the top floor with the few really nice single rooms but it seemed like someone didn't measure right or something and there was this small area left over in one corner. Barely big enough for a bed, dresser and desk so it wasn't up to the usual Dalton parents standards. They did tend to be a bit snobby at times and they had the money to get away with it.
It was much smaller than his basement room at home but Kurt saw the room as his personal haven away from bullies. He could make it work and it wasn't like he had to spend much time there any way. True, the other rooms on this floor had en-suite bathrooms and he would have to go to the communal bathrooms on the floor below but he could live with that. He knew they'd never be able to afford one of the big rooms so no matter where he lived at Dalton so it was going to be the communal bathrooms. He had been a bit worried about that. The locker rooms and showers at McKinley had always been the worst. It was where he was subjected to some of the most heartbreaking treatment. He could take the small minded prejudices of the jocks and some others when they shoved him, slushied him or tossed him in the dumpster – provided they didn't ruin any of his clothes! It was in the locker room and showers that he noticed everyone, even his 'friends' gave him a wide berth. That hurt. Ok, he now could admit that Finn did have good reason to be leery of him after his crush on the straight boy who was now his step brother, but the other boys shying away from him really hurt. Did they really think he was going to be peeking at their junk or trying to convert them or something? At Dalton the zero tolerance policy did really help. No one taunted him or shoved him or threw stinging cold slushies in his face and that was very nice. But after being treated different than everyone else for so long, Kurt was used to noticing just how he was treated different. It only took him a couple of months to notice that no bullying wasn't the same as treating everyone the same. The other boys all knew he was gay and he was fine with that, he was proud of who he was. But he noticed that where the others would rough-house with some playful shoving or light punching in the arm, fist bumping when their team made a score... whatever it was that had them in contact with each other was missing when it came to Kurt. They treated him fine but no one, aside from his new boyfriend Blaine, would touch him. And while the distance people would stay away from him in the showers wasn't as far away as the boys at McKinley stayed away from him, it was enough to be noticeable and it hurt. It wasn't really any different than the no-touch policy the boys at McKinley seemed to have about Kurt but the difference at Dalton was there were no girls for him to interact with. The girls never seemed to have a problem touching Kurt. He knew that was because they considered him one of the girls or at the very least a harmless, because he wasn't interested in them that way, boy. Was there any place in the world where Kurt could really be treated the same as everyone else? He wondered about that.
Blaine was his salvation. Finally, a boyfriend! Everyone at McKinley seemed to have someone or be starting a relationship with someone or getting over one. Man, didn't they know how good they had it? Why did they keep treating each other as disposable? All that multiple boy/girlfriend spit swapping and bed hopping was something Kurt couldn't really understand. Kissing, never mind the bedroom scene that Kurt couldn't really think about too carefully without hyperventilating, was something that should be precious and special between two people that really cared about one another! Flirting and handholding and special looks and winks... all of it was too special to throw around to just anyone and everyone like most teens did all the time. It was sad. And now that Kurt had someone special to be kissing he knew he was right that it was special and should be treated as such. No way would Kurt's lips be straying away from Blaine's very talented lips. Ok, so Kurt didn't have any one else to compare Blaine to when he thought he was the best kisser but he couldn't imagine anyone ever making him feel better than Blaine did when they kissed. Blaine kissed with his whole body. He pulled Kurt in close and held him tight. That alone was heaven. And if it was late and Kurt would be going to bed very soon he let Blaine run his fingers through his hair and muss it up. It felt just so wonderful. And Blaine really was a great kisser. Caressing Kurt's lips with his own with just the right amount of pressure and sensuality and light nips. And the first time Blaine's tongue ran across his bottom lip Kurt gasped in pleasure and that was just the reaction Blaine was hoping for and his tongue slipped into Kurt's mouth. Wow, he thought he was going to die of happiness. Their kissing had reached a whole new level of intimacy and pleasure.
And kissing wasn't the only thing Blaine was great at. How could anyone be so, well, just so perfect? True, he did make a huge fool of himself at the Gap that one time, thus proving he was human and fallible. But he always looked so dapper, even in his uniform. Kurt hated the uniform that did nothing for his fashion sense or figure but on Blaine it just looked... it always made Kurt blush to think this but Blaine just looked so hot in his uniform! He always got really good grades and was such a great singer and was always so in control. It was very nice for Kurt. Being shy about the whole boyfriend thing it was nice to have someone else take the lead. And Blaine always seemed to know what Kurt needed or when they were getting into things that made Kurt uncomfortable Blaine would pull back without having to be asked and without any anger or frustration. Whenever Kurt was upset about something Blaine knew just what to say, or when to not say a thing and just hold him. He was just so perfect, who could ask for anything more?
As it turned out Kurt could ask for more. Or was he asking for less? He wasn't sure which it was. After dating for nearly two months Kurt was finding that he just loved Blaine so much but was at a loss for how to express it well enough. Sure, he could tell Blaine he cared about him and do his best to kiss is boyfriend senseless but something was missing. Blaine had helped him so much. Supportive texts while he was still at McKinley, helping him learn the ropes at Dalton, introducing him to all the other guys, getting him on the Warbler's team, handing him a duet for regionals, helping him study and catch up with his classes after his transfer, taking the time to have a private funeral for Pavarotti... everything Blaine had done for him was wonderful but Kurt felt a need to give back. But how? Blaine was so perfect he didn't need anything from Kurt other than the mutual kissing and hand holding. Blaine filled so many of Kurt's needs. Didn't Blaine have any needs Kurt could fulfill? The guy was too perfect. And when he thought that Kurt kicked himself. How could he wish Blaine had problems or needs just so Kurt could be the hero? Be glad you've got him and be glad he's so happy! he told himself.
Things started to change dark and early one morning. Kurt had never slept with another person since about a year after his mom died. Before she died sometimes he'd stumble into his parents' bedroom after a nightmare and crawl in bed with them. After she died he was so heartbroken and lonely and just wanted his dad to hold him. His dad seemed to want someone to hold onto as well so for a while they slept together in his dad's bed. But that ended about 8 years ago and he'd never slept with anyone since. So, he woke up with a start at the large warm presence in his bed. He jumped a bit and tried to recoil his hand and arm that were over the warm body next to him but he didn't get very far. His hand was covered by the other hand and the fingers of both hands were laced together. The warm body murmured a little at the motion, pulled Kurt's hand back down and scooted back until the back was snuggled into Kurt's chest. Kurt's initial shock and momentary terror at the stranger in his bed when he was asleep and vulnerable passed as quickly as it took him to take a single shocked breath. Blaine. He smelled Blaine. It was Blaine's hair gel mostly but also his aftershave and cologne and his own personal scent that Kurt adored. Blaine was in bed with him? Why? Not that Kurt minded, he loved to curl into Blaine's warmth and just be near him. It was obvious that Blaine wasn't there for sex, which Kurt was in no way ready for, or he'd have woken Kurt up and tried to seduce him. He had just come up to Kurt's room... Which had Kurt wondering how in the world Blaine got through his locked door!... and gotten in bed with Kurt to cuddle? Maybe he had a nightmare? Maybe something was bothering him, causing insomnia, and he just needed a stress-free place to sleep? Whatever it was Kurt's sleepy brain couldn't function well enough to even begin to understand. Blaine was just so warm and solid and real and smelled so good that Kurt just tightened his grip on Blaine's fingers and fell into a sweet peaceful sleep.
In the morning his alarm went off and he stumbled out of bed to shut the darn thing off and cuss at it and Dalton's early class schedules, same as he did every other morning. His skin care routine was of paramount importance but he swore he had to get up earlier than any other boy in the whole school to get it done before breakfast. He started gathering his shower supplies when he caught sight of his own unmade bed and it made him stop in his tracks. His bed, had he been dreaming or did he wake up to find Blaine with him in his bed last night? He set down his skin care products and went to inspect his bed. He took a deep whiff of the sheets and thought he could smell Blaine's cologne. He looked over the pillow case and could definitely see some greasy smears from hair gel. Blaine had slept with him! But why did he sneak in and why sneak out again? Kurt mulled this over while getting ready for breakfast and the daily grind of classes. All he could come up with was that Blaine wanted or needed something and was too shy or embarrassed or maybe didn't even know what it was he wanted himself but sleeping in Kurt's bed had something to do with it. Maybe he was just lonely? But Blaine was so together! Nothing got him down! If there was a problem he dealt with it head on. Kurt admired him for that except when the problem was something with Kurt and Blaine had to get Kurt to talk about something he didn't want to deal with. Kurt admitted it was better afterwards but he still hated dealing with issues, he was more of the attitude if you ignore the problem it will go away. See how well that worked with his 'problem' of being gay? Kurt fully expected Blaine to fess up today that he had slept with Kurt and tell him why, it was just the sort of thing he would do. So Kurt headed off to breakfast looking forward to finding out what was on his boyfriend's mind.
At breakfast Kurt and Blaine took their usual table together and today Wes and Brian joined them. They talked about the eggs being a bit cool and the milk not being cold enough. They talked about mutual classes and teachers and homework and how they were doing with the latest set of songs they were learning for The Warblers. They talked about the weather and the others, not Kurt, talked about some national sports team they followed. Kurt kept glancing at Blaine waiting for him to suggest the two of them leave to get to class. Not that they were anywhere near late but they needed to be alone for Blaine to bring up the subject of why he snuck in to sleep with Kurt. But Blaine never said anything unusual at all.
After classes were over for the day the two boyfriends were studying in one of the many common rooms with study tables. They had a corner table with a nice view out the window. Only a few other students were studying in the room. Kurt decided maybe it was his turn to gently get Blaine to talk about something he might not want to talk about but this was strange territory for Kurt. He generally didn't pry into other peoples' lives, they were always prying into his! How does one do this?
"Hey, Blaine, you ok?" he queried.
Blaine looked up from his French textbook with a confused expression. "Yeah, fine. Why? Don't I look ok?"
"Oh, you look fine. Actually," Kurt wiggled his eyebrows overly dramatically, "you always look mighty fine." Blaine laughed at that, making Kurt laugh too.
"No, it's just that you seem a little quiet, a little off, I can't really put my finger on it. Anything bothering you?" he asked, concerned. He was deliberately being vague about the night time visit.
"I guess just studying too hard. Not that teachers or parents would ever believe there was such a thing as studying too hard." he groaned and focused his attention back on his textbook.
Kurt's mind was whirring away, processing everything. Ok, he's not ready to talk. I opened up a window of opportunity for him to talk about it and he shut it down. Not ready. But what could it be? Kurt refused to believe it was just because Blaine wanted to be close to him. He was Blaine's boyfriend but he wasn't that important, he was just Kurt, not someone special.
A few nights later Kurt woke up found Blaine behind him, hugging Kurt's body tightly into his own. Kurt just enjoyed the delicious sensations and tried to compare which he liked better – being the big spoon or the little spoon. Man, it was a tough call, maybe even a dead tie. Blaine had laced the fingers of his arm reaching around Kurt's side with Kurt's fingers again and was holding on tight. As lovely as it was, it caused a crack in his heart. His boyfriend was in need and he didn't know what to do. Blaine was such a better boyfriend to him! He always knew what Kurt needed. Finally Blaine needed something and Kurt was clueless.
Several hours later, Kurt woke up with a cold shiver. The warm body behind him had just left and he was missing the warmth. He turned his head just in time to watch the door close the final inch and click shut. It was only a few more minutes before the alarm went off.
In psychology class that day they were studying about the needs of infants. Given superior nutrition and perfect temperature conditions and kept fresh and clean one would expect an infant to thrive. But babies in large orphanages even with the best of physical care often die. They just stare at the wall and waste away, all for lack of physical touch. Babies need to be held and stroked by others. And it needs to be a human touch; you can't just set up some sort of machine to simulate the feeling of touch. We all need touching. Adults can do without much touching and won't die but they get what is called touch hunger. They long for a human touch. It made Kurt think about Blaine coming to his room. Could it be that he just needed more touching? Kurt knew how it hurt that the other boys didn't touch him, and he noticed they avoided touching Blaine too. It only took Kurt a couple months to notice the difference and Blaine had been living with it for years. Had the touch hunger gotten to be too much and he now had someone to cuddle up with to relieve that hunger? It seemed far-fetched that it could be something that seemingly simple to cause Blaine to do such an uncharacteristic thing. Kurt read that some adults with touch hunger will hold their own hand just for the feel of human contact. That was about the saddest thing he'd ever heard. In a world of billions of people how can we treat each other so shabbily that so many people hunger for simple contact with someone else?
Kurt's next class was chemistry lab. They were reading the results of a 2 week experiment today and it got Kurt thinking about experiments. Maybe he could do an experiment on Blaine and see if he had that touch hunger? Was that a nice thing to do to his boyfriend? Who wants to be a guinea pig? But it's not like Kurt was going to do anything harmful or cruel. He was just going to screw up his courage and touch his boyfriend more often and in public. Kurt realized it was true, Blaine was almost always the one that initiated their touching and kissing and it was past time Kurt step up to the plate. And if in doing so he could help his boyfriend feel more loved, hey, huge bonus! He was just trying to balance the scales a bit. Ever since others started to notice he was different, even before he himself knew what that 'different' was, they kept themselves at a bit of a distance. So Kurt learned, and it was now deeply engrained, that others didn't want him touching them, except maybe his close female friends. So he'd learned to keep his hands to himself, this was going to take him outside his comfort zone but he was also excited to give it a try.
The first little 'experiment' was at dinner. Kurt deliberately passed a pitcher of water to Blaine so that their hands brushed against each other. Blaine never faltered in grabbing the pitcher but Kurt did hear his quick intake of breath in surprise. Well, what do you know? Kurt was beginning to believe maybe it was just that simple. But over the next couple of days Kurt also figured out it was also just that complicated! How do you touch another person, often, without being obvious? A hand on the shoulder as you sit down next to that person, brushing against them when you stand up, fingers bumping into each other when passing an object from one hand to the other. And that last one was the only important skin-to-skin contact he'd read about. Sometimes there was a noticeable reaction in Blaine but not always. It wasn't a comfortable thing for Kurt to do, touching someone else, but he was starting to enjoy it. Maybe he had built up a touch hunger himself? He needed more, he was sure Blaine needed more. But how? They had gone for a walk one evening for a study break and Kurt kept trying to get up the courage to take Blaine's hand during the walk but he was bound in emotional chains. He was too afraid of rejection and he knew how stupid that was! Blaine liked to hold his hand, he wasn't going to be rejected but still he couldn't find the courage to take his own boyfriends hand. What a wimp. He needed to figure out something else.
That night as he was getting into his silk pajamas, relishing the feel of silk on his skin, he realized he liked it because it felt like a skin on skin touch. Maybe Blaine would like his silk pajamas, he hadn't visited on a night when Kurt was wearing silk yet. Then Kurt had a wonderful idea. Oh yes, more skin to skin contact could be arranged and in a way that wasn't frightening for Kurt to initiate. Tearing off the silk pajama top and stuffing it back in the dresser drawer Kurt crawled into bed bare-chested and waited. Before long his heart stopped thudding at the thought of snuggling his bare chest up to his boyfriend and slowly he fell asleep.
He woke up warm, too warm! The covers had gotten to be too much for him, now that he was snuggled up to Blaine. It was Kurt's turn to be the big spoon again and Blaine had apparently noticed his bare-chested boyfriend when getting into bed with him. Blaine had removed his shirt as well. Kurt carefully folded back the blanket to help himself cool off. Then he snaked his arm around his boyfriend to grab his hand and pull him close into his chest. Kurt silently bent his head down to kiss Blaine gently on the shoulder and then settled in for a blissful night.
The next morning Kurt woke and found Blaine still in his arms. He was in heaven, or as close as Kurt had ever come. He peeped over Blaine's shoulder to look at his alarm clock. It was about to go off. Well, now what should he do? Wait for the alarm to go off and greet his overnight guest? Kiss his guest awake? He liked the idea of that one but was way too shy. And Blaine still hadn't confessed to the night time visits, he probably didn't know that Kurt was aware of his visitations. Blaine wasn't ready to share yet. Kurt congratulated himself for figuring this out, psychology was always such a mystery to him. If his boyfriend wasn't ready to share, he wasn't going to force it on him yet. Kurt likened it to being outed. He carefully rolled over to face the wall so that they were back to back and pretended to be asleep. The alarm went off and Blaine was up, out of bed and out the door like a shot. Probably trying to get out the door before I woke up was Kurt's thought as he slowly ambled over to shut off the offensively loud device.
At breakfast Blaine looked a bit nervous, Kurt helped him out by simply greeting him as usual and sitting down to have his breakfast. After a few minutes Blaine seemed to relax and started to talk with some of the other boys. He did seem to be avoiding Kurt a little but that was ok, Kurt sort-of understood. He was also getting braver with Blaine. Later that afternoon he stood behind a seated Blaine with his hand on the nape of Blaine's neck while they tried to figure out a math problem. They went for a walk at sunset and held hands. Kurt couldn't say for sure that he took Blaine's hand or they reached for each other's hands at the same time but it was a great walk.
A few nights later Kurt woke up to hear a key being inserted in the lock of his door. Ok, now he knew how Blaine was getting in but how did he get a key? He heard Blaine come in and heard the rustle of fabric as Blaine took off the t-shirt he used for a pajama top. Kurt willed his breathing to be even and light so Blaine would think he was still asleep. Kurt was facing the door and Blaine so he lay down with his back to Kurt. Kurt got to be the big spoon again. Blaine slowly reached behind him to find Kurt's arm and bring it around his own body, then laced their fingers together and pulled Kurt's hand to his chest. Kurt could feel Blaine's heartbeat. It was thundering. Was Blaine always this scared when he got in bed? Worried that Kurt would mind or wake up? Kurt wanted to lean in and kiss him and whisper that it was all right but he knew that wasn't the right move. He soaked in the nearness of the boy he loved, the feel of his warmth, the sound of his breathing, the smell of his shampoo and cologne, the sounds of the night; creaking as the dorm building cooled in the evening chill, the hum of cars in the distance on the road, the sounds of night time bugs... Kurt tried to forever imprint every sensation he could into his memory so decades from now, no matter how his life turned out, he could always come back to these nights just snuggled up and surrounded by love and happiness.
A few days later Kurt was sitting in a boring history class and his mind was wandering. If he categorized what he was doing with Blaine as an experiment to see if Blaine was sneaking into his room because he needed human touch what would his conclusions be so far? In theory, if it was human touch he needed and he was now getting it during the day with hand holding and brushing passes and such then wouldn't the need be filled and he'd stop visiting Kurt at night? That might be one way to go but Kurt didn't like that way – he didn't want the visits to stop. But if he went with the theory, then why is Blaine visiting about every other night when at first it seemed to be only every 3rd or 4th night? Maybe his theory was wrong? Maybe Blaine needed more? After the near miss with Kurt's alarm going off when Blaine was still in bed with Kurt, he started to wear his alarm watch and set it for about 10 minutes before Kurt's alarm. It was just loud enough to wake Kurt but not so loud as to startle him and make him jump so Blaine never seemed to know that the watch woke Kurt up too. For his boyfriend's sake, he just kept his eyes closed and laid still until after Blaine left for the day. Yesterday, Kurt almost jumped and gave himself away when after getting out of bed and putting his shirt on he felt Blaine smooth a stray lock of hair off Kurt's forehead and then lean in and lightly kiss the top of his head.
Kurt was getting bolder too. They were studying at a large table, sitting side by side, with a few other boys from their biology class when Kurt got the courage up and just did it. He reached over and grabbed the hand Blaine had sitting in his lap and laced their fingers together and gave a squeeze. Blaine jumped just a little at the unexpected action and then Kurt noticed he blushed but also was suppressing a smile. Damn, he was cute when he blushed! They managed to hold hands for about 10 minutes before they really had to let go to take notes on frog dissection, how romantic. Oh well, it was nice while it lasted.
That Friday night they went out to a movie and a late dinner. Not a night out with the guys but a date for just the two of them. They went to a musical and critiqued the cast afterwards at dinner. They sat on a bench swing in the park holding hands and just talking about everything and nothing for the longest time. They made up stories about the people walking by – where they were coming from and where they were going now. They did their best to pick out the constellations in the sky but it wasn't easy with the city lights making the stars dimmer. Slowly they kept getting closer and closer to each other and before too long they were sharing kisses, punctuating their talking with kisses. The talking got less and less and the kissing got to be more – more time spent kissing and more deep kisses. Before too long there were moans escaping from both boys. Kurt was about to pull back because it was getting too intense for him when Blaine stopped, straightened up and placed his palm on Kurt's cheek and said "Maybe it's time to go back to the dorm, honey." How did he always know? Kurt knew how lucky he was to have such an insightful, compassionate, loving boyfriend with willpower of steel not to let things get uncomfortable for Kurt.
That very night, after all that intense kissing and spending time with each other Kurt figured that Blaine probably had his fix of his boyfriend and wouldn't be visiting that night. But he was no dummy, he planned to never again wear pajama tops to bed while he lived in the dorm. And to his surprise he woke up facing the wall and feeling the mattress behind him dip down as Blaine got into bed. It looked like it was Kurt's turn to be the little spoon. Blaine moved in close and slid down next to Kurt, placing a kiss on his bare shoulder before settling in to sleep.
Since it was Saturday, Kurt's alarm was not set. He usually slept in on Saturday, did his skin care routine and then just grabbed a banana or something for breakfast since the serving of actual breakfast was over by then. If he could snuggle in bed with Blaine, he figured he'd never want to get out of bed! During the night they had both turned over and Kurt was now holding Blaine. It was nearly time for Blaine's watch alarm to go off, if he'd set it at the same time he did during the week. Kurt couldn't take it anymore, he wanted to know why Blaine kept coming to sleep with him and why he was trying to keep it a secret from everyone, including Kurt! He wanted Blaine to know he was very welcome to come sleep with Kurt any time he wanted and he didn't have to hide it. Kurt wanted to be able to participate in the cuddling as more than an asleep body or pretend asleep body. He wanted to be able to caress Blaine's curls, give his boyfriend sweet kisses, fulfill the need causing the other boy to take such drastic measures. His alarm clock ticked off another minute, any second the watch alarm would probably go off. Kurt made up his mind, closed his eyes and took several slow deep breaths and pulled Blaine in tighter to his chest. Yes, the watch alarm had been set and it did go off. Blaine quickly turned it off without moving too much and was slowly and gently trying to extricate himself from his boyfriend's limbs and bed. Kurt was having none of it. He tightened his grip around Blaine's chest and quietly but calmly said "It's Saturday, stay awhile longer today."
At the sound of the words Blaine had frozen in place. He stayed that way for a few more seconds. Kurt pulled Blaine towards him a little harder and murmured "Please? Don't go."
With a big sigh, Blaine allowed himself to be pulled back down into bed and then he rolled over to be face to face with Kurt, sharing a pillow. "You knew?" he asked.
Kurt smiled "I'm a light sleeper, I always knew."
"Then why didn't you kick me out?" he asked. Really? That's his first question? He seriously thought Kurt would kick him out?
"Why on earth would I kick you out?"
"Really, it's quite creepy on my part to be lurking in the shadows, invading your room uninvited and taking advantage of you in your sleep. But I couldn't help myself, I just want to be near you all the time." he explained with a blush.
"Speaking of... just how did you get a key to my room?" Kurt asked.
Blaine hid his face with his hands. "Do you remember when I forgot my wallet in your car when we went to the mall and I borrowed your keys to go out to get it?"
"Yes, go on." Kurt said wondering where he was going with this explanation.
"Sorry, but it was a lie. I had my wallet. I noticed your key doesn't say DO NOT DUPLICATE on it like the regular dorm keys so I popped over to Kwik Keys and had one made. I'll give it to you, I shouldn't have it." he said with embarrassment.
"I don't think they intended this room to be a dorm, more like a large storage room. Who would want to duplicate the key? You keep it. You'll need it to get in tonight, unless you'd rather I leave the door unlocked for you." Kurt told him.
"Tonight?" Blaine said looking up into Kurt's face.
Things had been clicking into place in Kurt's mind slowly but surely and he thought he had a good handle on things now. It was like with his parents. When his mom had gotten sick she tried to keep doing everything like she always did but would get too tired. But she wouldn't let his dad help, she didn't want to burden him. Burt is not a stupid man. He would come up with some excuse as to why it was better for him if they went out to eat. He had to go to Westerville for parts after work and he wouldn't be getting home until really late for dinner. Can you do me a favor and come with me, bring Kurt and we can eat at the café in Westerville? Or, gee, my sister Brenda has been bugging me for weeks to come and visit. She says she misses me and wants to see how much Kurt has grown. Naturally with his sister in the house the two women cooked together and laundry and vacuuming just seemed to get done by magic but yet, it was Elizabeth doing Burt a favor by letting his sister visit. Sometimes the only way to help an independent person is to let them think they are helping you. Even if they see through the ruse, it just might be enough to get them to accept what is being offered. So, exactly how could Kurt make Blaine think he was helping Kurt?
"Yeah, tonight! I sleep so much better when you are here. It's just too dark and quiet when I'm alone, it makes me jumpy. You've spoiled me now, I don't like sleeping alone."
Blaine looked a bit wary. "Are you sure? You are really ok with this and comfortable?" he asked.
"I am way more than ok with it. You are right though, if it had been anybody but you it would've been creepy and wrong. But it is you and I love it. You feel so nice and warm and you make me feel safe and cared for." he stopped because his voice was choked with emotion. He tried to convey his feelings physically. He brushed a curl off Blaine's forehead and rested his palm on Blaine's cheek for a moment before taking both of Blaine's hands in his. After a moment gazing into each other's eyes Kurt leaned in to brush his lips lightly against Blaine's. The face to face, eye to eye, emotional-walls-down sharing was both beautiful and terrifying. Both boys had put up very thick walls to protect themselves and it was hard to tear them down again. Scary but oh so wonderful to feel like your own real self with someone that still loved you and was showing you their real self. After a few minutes Blaine gave a big sigh and closed his eyes. Kurt smiled at his boyfriend and closed his own eyes too. That was how they both fell asleep and missed breakfast.
The next night Kurt was just getting comfortable in his bed when his door opened and Blaine came in. He looked a little unsure of himself. That was a different look for him, he always seemed so sure of everything. He hesitated by the door, looking at Kurt in the bed. "Can I come in?" he asked.
Kurt just grinned and lifted up the covers for Blaine to slip into bed with him. Once they were settled Kurt asked "Jeff go to bed early?"
"Nope, I went to the bathroom to get all ready for bed and went back to our room and put away my things and just headed for the door. Apparently I haven't been fooling my roommate either. He told me to say hi to you." Blaine admitted. "I'm pretty sure they think more is going on here than just sleeping. I hope that doesn't bother you."
"Doesn't matter what they think. Only matters what we think and know." Kurt replied. "I've been thinking about how much better life is just because I get to sleep snuggled up to you. It's like the world has brighter colors or something." It was time to bring up the subject of touch hunger and Kurt knew better than to ask Blaine if it was a problem he had. Blaine was too used to hiding any weaknesses. "In psychology class we've been studying the psychology of human touch. I think I like this so much because I don't get enough human contact. Being a guy, we don't touch each other like girls do. And being a gay guy, the other guys don't touch me at all. So I really need this." he said as he hugged Blaine tighter.
Blaine was quiet for a moment before he said, "Uh, glad I could help but I think you are right about the guys avoiding us, I guess I really needed this too."
Kurt crowed a silent 'YES!' in his head, he'd had it right. Now he knew how to show his boyfriend his love and thoroughly enjoy it at the same time. "So, then you won't mind if I touch you more? Hold hands? Lean on you when we watch tv? Kiss you more often?"
"You are too sweet. What did I do to deserve you? I don't suggest we make out during Warblers practice but, no, I do not mind at all if you hold my hand or kiss me and you can lean on me all you want." Blaine said.
Kurt sighed, "That's good because I plan on kissing you and leaning on you for years to come."
"Sounds good to me, now shut up and scoot over here to me so we can get comfortable and get some sleep." Blaine said with a laugh. Kurt was happy to comply with his boyfriend's request to be physically closer and it felt right to be physically closer since they were now emotionally closer. Maybe Blaine was right about dealing with issues instead of ignoring things, Kurt was surprised just how much closer he felt to Blaine now. It was right then Kurt knew he had someone to share his whole life with, the good and the bad, and still be crazy in love for their whole lives.