"It was a really nice idea to stay in tonight, Selina," said Johnny, sitting on the sofa in Selina Kyle's penthouse apartment. "And it's really sweet of you to cook for me. I thought you might have a cook, or a butler, or something."

"I like to do things for myself," replied Selina, emerging from the kitchen, stirring a pan. "If a girl can't rely on herself, who can she rely on? Up until recently there wasn't a big, strong, dependable man in my life. Well, not one who was interested in me personally, anyway," she muttered.

"I hope you know you can always rely on me, Selina," he replied, sincerely.

She smiled. "Yeah. You're a nice guy, Johnny. And I like nice guys. Hope you also know how to be a little bad now and then, though. I like my nice guys with a darker side."

She bent down to kiss him, when suddenly the door to her apartment was blown off its hinges. "Oooh, somebody's been a bad Kitty!" came Joker's insane voice, laughing. "And Harley's more of a dog person anyway, aren't you, pooh bear?"

Selina was suddenly struck from behind by Harley's hammer. "That's right, Mr. J," she muttered, standing over Selina and glaring at her. "Can't stand cats. Selfish, stuck-up, hairy fur-balls that never do what they're told."

"Harley? What are you doing here?" asked Johnny, stunned.

"Saving you from making a big mistake," retorted Harley. "And taking time out of my anniversary to do it. You should be real flattered, Johnny. I wouldn't do this for just anyone."

"Don't even think about it, Selina," said Ivy, appearing from a corner of the room and pointing her crossbow at her. Selina had been reaching for the pan she had dropped to clobber Harley with, but stopped, looking at Ivy in surprise.

"What are you doing here?" she asked. "And why are you on Harley's side?"

"Because you didn't even have the decency to tell me you'd found a boyfriend!" snapped Ivy. "People don't keep secrets like that from their best friends, Selina!"

"Well, gee, I think you can forgive her for that, Red," said Harley. "You didn't tell me about you and Harvey, after all…"

"Shut up, you stupid bitch!" growled Two-Face, emerging from the other end of the room. "I told you, nothing happened!"

Selina stared at the four of them, speechless. "Why are you all here crashing my date?!" she demanded, suddenly furious.

"It's funny," retorted Joker, grinning. "And it'll be even more funny when we reveal the big surprise to Johnny here. There's something you don't know about your girlfriend, Doc."

"I told him, Mr. J, but he didn't believe me," retorted Harley. "So you'll have to tell him, Selina."

"Selina? What's going on?" asked Johnny.

"Tell him, Selina," said Ivy, firmly.

Selina looked around at the four of them, pointing weapons at her, and sighed. "I don't know why you people all think my relationship is any of your business, but obviously I have no choice. Johnny, the truth is, I'm Catwoman."

He stared at her. "You're…Catwoman?" he repeated.

"Yeah. Notorious jewel thief, dangerous criminal, but with a good streak, when the occasion suits me," she said. "I was going to tell you, but I thought it could wait until after the third date."

"Third date?" repeated Joker, laughing. "Lucky we got here when we did! You wouldn't have wanted to sleep with a criminal, would you, Doc? It's a really dangerous thing to do. It's what drove Harley crazy seven years ago today."

"And I've loved every second of it," murmured Harley, gazing at him in adoration. "Just like I love you, puddin'."

She leaned forward to kiss him when a black shape burst through the window. "Batman? How did you get here so fast?" demanded Selina.

"I was in the neighborhood," he muttered.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she demanded. "You were spying on me? Jesus, why is everyone suddenly so interested in my private life?!"

"Batsy, you remembered!" exclaimed Joker, beaming. "I'm so glad I got to see you today - it just wouldn't have been a perfect day without you!"

In response, Batman punched him in the face, and set to work battling the other criminals. Catwoman joined him, and in a matter of moments, Joker, Harley, Poison Ivy, and Two-Face were all cuffed and restrained.

"Sorry to crash your date, Selina," muttered Batman. "I'll take them away and you can resume."

"No, I think I'd better go," said Johnny, rising. "You're a very attractive woman, Selina, but I just wouldn't feel comfortable dating a criminal. It wouldn't sit right with my conscience. I hope you understand."

She shrugged. "Guess it saves me the trouble of dumping you later. I'll be honest, Johnny, you were mostly just to get Batman's attention and make him jealous. Mission accomplished, by the way," she added, grinning at him.

"I'm not jealous," he growled. "I was just doing a routine patrol in the neighborhood when I saw the explosion."

"You do an awful lot of hanging around my neighborhood for someone who's not jealous," she retorted, grinning. Batman glared at her, but said nothing.

Johnny headed for the door, then paused. "Thanks, Harley," he said, nodding at her and smiling. "And I'm sorry for not believing you. You're a good friend. Enjoy the rest of your day."

"I'll sure try, Johnny," she retorted. "But seeing as it's obviously going to end in Arkham, I don't know how much I'll be able to actually enjoy. I'll see you soon, anyway."

He nodded again and left. "C'mon, Bats, we did you a good turn, crashing the kitty's date so she couldn't get the cream with another guy," said Joker, smiling. "You can let us go, can't you, buddy? Especially today of all days."

"Why? What's today?" asked Batman.

Joker stared at him. "Our anniversary," he murmured, looking genuinely hurt. "Ten years today we've been fighting each other. Don't you remember?"

Batman shook his head. "I've got a lot of enemies," he muttered. "Can't expect me to keep track of when I first fought all of them. You're all sick criminals infesting my city, and you all need to be put away."

"Batsy…" gasped Joker, astonished. "Batsy I…gee…that's…not funny."

Harley was glaring at him. "Hurts when people don't remember your anniversary, don't it?" she snapped. "Well, it serves you right for remembering his and forgetting ours!"

Batman ignored her, going over to lead Two-Face and Ivy away. Joker stared after him, then turned to Harley. "I didn't forget our anniversary, pooh bear," he murmured. "That was a joke."

"A joke?" she repeated. "What do you mean?"

"I thought it would be funny, but it ain't funny," he muttered. "I wanted to see the look on your face. You know I love it when you get all angry and fiery sometimes. I just wanted to see how you'd react if I pretended to forget it, and put Batman first. But I knew it was our anniversary all along, and I got you a present."

His cuffed hands reached into his pocket and pulled out a detonator. "It's for you, pooh," he said, holding it out to her. "Go on. Set it off."

"For me?" she breathed, gazing at him. "Oh, Mr. J, this is the best anniversary ever! I love you, puddin'!"

He grinned. "I'll even let you give the punchline, Harley girl," he whispered. "Happy anniversary, baby."

She kissed him. "Hey, Bats!" she shouted. "Here's to another ten years of you failing to stop Mr. J! And here's to another seven years of our life together being an absolute blast!"

She pressed the button, and the floor suddenly exploded, knocking Batman and Catwoman down into the level below. The explosion left the edges of the room by the door still intact, which was where Batman had dragged Two-Face, Ivy, Joker, and Harley. Joker laughed maniacally as Harley took the knife from his pocket, cutting them both free. She then went over and released Ivy and Two-Face.

"C'mon, baby, let's beat it before Bat-brain recovers," said Joker, grabbing Harley's arm. "We've got the rest of our anniversary to enjoy, pumpkin pie! I'm sure we can fit in a couple more explosions!"

"Oh, Mr. J, you're just the most romantic guy in the whole world!" sighed Harley. "Ain't he just the greatest, Red?"

"I'll admit he's always full of surprises," retorted Ivy. "But that's all. Enjoy the rest of your night, Harley."

Harley hugged her and Two-Face, and then rushed out of the room, with Joker's arm around her waist. "We'd better go too, before Batman comes back," said Ivy.

"Yeah. I guess I'll…see you around, Pammie," he muttered.

Ivy paused, then said, "Look, Harvey, about earlier…if you ever want to…I mean…" she sighed. "It was kinda fun," she murmured. "So if you ever want to…y'know…fool around again, you know where to find me."

Two-Face grinned. "Might take you up on that sometime, Pammie," he said.

"Y'know, not a relationship or anything, just a bit of…fun," said Ivy.

"Yeah," he agreed. "We should both take a page out of the clowns' book, and have a little more fun. They seem happy enough anyway."

"Yeah," agreed Ivy. "Well, see you around, Harv."

"Bye, Pam," he murmured. They left the building and went their separate ways.

Ivy was startled suddenly by another explosion, rocking the city a little to west, and the sound of a crazy, maniacal laugh. She smiled. "Happy anniversary, you two," she murmured. "Here's to seven more years of mayhem."