A/N: I think this is the first fanfic I've ever written that isn't about a ship. o3o Well, lookie that. I didn't think it was possible. ;)
Anyways, I thought of this idea while listening to D-Sides, and when Murdoc is God came on, I thought, "I wonder whose idea it was to write this song". So, I decided to write a fic about it.
I hope it makes you laugh, because I had waaay too much fun writing it. ^^;
Oh, and please read and review!

Disclaimer: Yadda yadda, Gorillaz isn't mine. You know the drill. xD

Murdoc Says

Murdoc was late. Again. They were trying to write an album for Pete's sake; what was so important to him that it held priority over his band?
The rest of them just assumed he was shagging some chick in his Winnebago, and an assumption it remained seeing as no one was brave enough to venture down to the car park and check. So instead, Russel, 2D and Noodle all sat in their small recording studio, which was quite crowded save for the empty stool reserved for the bassist. The room was filled with awkward silence, shattering every so often whenever Noodle began to tune her guitar, again, or the sudden outburst of sound whenever 2D slumped forward onto his keyboard as he fell asleep. The noise would startle him awake and he would sit upright for awhile, though as soon as the panic subsided his eyelids would droop and his shoulders would sag.

Finally, Noodle put down her guitar rather roughly and let out a loud groan. "Forget Murdoc-san! Let's just start without him!"
2D glanced over at the guitarist. "We can't record wifou' bass, luv." He replied tiredly, stifling another yawn.

Noodle sighed, knowing the singer was right, though she was still annoyed all the same.
"I have to agree with Noods on that one. Screw Muds!" Russel said angrily, his thick hand tightening around his drumstick.
2D blinked his hollow eyes, his mind almost visibly spinning as he tried to figure out whether he agreed with the drummer or not. Finally he said, "Yea… I s'ppose you're righ'."
Noodle's face cracked into a grin and Russel rubbed his hands together, 2D straightening his shoulders and cracking his knuckles.

Just as they were about to start, none other than the Satanist bassist himself burst through the door, staring at the sight before him. Before he could demand whether they were going to start without him or not, Russel cut him off.
"Well, look who finally decided to show his ugly face." The drummer's pale eyes narrowed. Murdoc shot him a pointed glare, but didn't reply with a stinging remark like he normally would.

Russel seemed to sense the change in the bassist's behavior and called him on it. "Yo, what's da deal with you, man? You ain't actin' like yourself."
Murdoc's lips suddenly twisted into a grin, much to everyone's surprise. It was as if the entire previous ordeal had never happened.
"I'm glad you asked, Lards!" The man exclaimed, obviously very excited about something.
Russel sent him a questioning look, only making Murdoc's smirk widen.
"Alrigh', alrigh'. Listen up kiddy winkles, and hold onto your knickers. I've got s'me big news."
Ignoring the deranged expressions on his bands faces, the bassist continued enthusiastically.
"I have written a song for our new album!"

Now that the cat was out of the bag, Murdoc hesitated, waiting for their reactions. He was hoping for a standing ovation, or at least someone to faint…
But all that followed was silence.
Murdoc's smile dissolved. "Well, that wasn't what I w's expectin'." He grumbled, and as he crossed his arms over his chest, 2D noticed some papers clutched in his greenish hands.
"Whut's 'at you've got in yo' hands, Muds?" He asked, pointing a thin finger at the object in question.
Murdoc seemed to enjoy the fact that someone had noticed. "Well, Face-ache, this is the sheet music to the song I wro'e."
He then strolled past and handed out a sheet of paper to the rest of the band. Once he returned to his original spot, he looked around expectantly as they scanned the notes.

2D was the first to react after reading over the lyrics. He glanced up at Murdoc in disbelief. "'ere's no way in 'ell I'm singing 'is song, Muds!" He exclaimed. "It's jus' awful!"
Murdoc ground his teeth together but, surprisingly, didn't say anything, just turned to face Noodle and Russel. "What d'you two think of it, then?"
Russel shrugged dismissively and turned away, while Noodle was silent for a few moments.
"Well? Wot do you think, luv?" Murdoc asked her.
Noodle frowned slightly. "To be honest, Murdoc-san, I find the song very arrogant."
That only made him ground his teeth together harder, just as 2D piped in,
"Oi, Muds, 'oose Johnny?"
"None of your business, Dullard!" Murdoc snapped, finally letting his anger show. He then turned to address everyone.
"I don't give a rat's arse if you don't like me song, cuz we're gonna play it no matter whot."
The rest of the band fell quiet, Murdoc growling under his breath.
"Okay, let's begin."

Everyone took their places and Russel began a slow beat. Soon, Noodle joined in on the guitar, followed by Murdoc and finally 2D.
"Murdoc is God. Murdoc is God, Murdoc is God. Tryin' to fit in." 2D sang, though the more he heard the song the less he liked it.
Once they got through the song once and they all fell silent, 2D spoke.
"Look, Muds. I's a nice song n' all, bu' I'm not sure if we should put it on Demon Days." He admitted quietly, much to the bassist's fury.
Now seething, Murdoc stalked over to the singer and picked him up by the front of the shirt.
"Listen 'ere Dullard." He hissed into his face. "It's my band, meaning I can put on whatever song I'd like."
2D's hollow eyes widened in fright and he nodded hurriedly, desperate to be free of Murdoc's grasp.

With an angry huff, Murdoc released 2D's shirt and he fell back onto his stool, which the singer then gripped until his knuckles turned white. Blinking fearfully, 2D let go of the seat with one hand to shakily reach for the microphone and pull it closer to him. Then, he took the other hand and wrapped it around the stand as if hanging on for dear life.
Noodle was obviously disapproving of how Murdoc treated 2D, her lips pressed into a thin line.
"Look, Murdoc-san," She began slowly, choosing her words carefully as to not irritate the bassist any further than the singer had already. "How about we compromise? We will all play and record your song, but instead of it being on Demon Days, it can go on D-Sides. What do you say?"
Murdoc pondered the thought, finally letting out a groan of defeat. "Fine! whateva'! As long as it's on an album, I'm happy."

Noodle shot a small smile at 2D, who gratefully returned the expression.
Murdoc then clapped his hands once, and very loudly, drawing everyone's attention. "Alrigh' e'ryone, let's try it again." He paused for a moment and then added, "And this time, no complainin', ya got that, Face-Ache? I'm the leader of this band, so whatever I says, goes!"

A/N(2): Crappy ending is crappy. Oh well, please read and review anyways. If the ending is that bad, please let me know and I'll try to fix it. :P