Buso Renkin Rewritten

Disclaimer: I do not own Buso Renkin. If I did, it would be as you see here... no Papillon and the very definition of "Homunculus" changed (I think for the better...).

If you don't like the idea (or can't get over the idea) of Homunculi being positive entities and Alchemists who run around killing them being less than positive, yer in the wrong neighborhood, sonny. The initial main character is freakin' MITA (and Kazuki, of course); you ought to be well clued-in that this is no ordinary fanfic of this category.

Let's begin the rewrite.

Chapter 1:

Turning Point

He had better still be there... Mita thought darkly as he packed up his things. With a resounding click he closed and latched his suitcase. Glaring up at the wall clock, the homunculus's stern grey eyes temporarily registered fear. Perhaps, he thought, it would be safer just to allow him to pass it off as a dream. No, something told him, who in their right mind would ignore witnessing something as gruesome as that? And forget that he even received the deathblow? It did not seem plausible, even for such an oddball little whelp like Muto.

A fresh wave of hunger pangs brought Mita back out of his well of thoughts. It had been too long since he last fed for his liking, even though his genetic structure was quite like that of the King Cobra and allowed him to live on his meals for days, sometimes weeks, at a time. Even then Mita often waited until the very last opportunity, the one thing he ever postponed. Six days now. It would have been five were it not for the... incident... with the strange girl and his student. Mita blinked at the time on the clock. It was late. The boy ought to be done by now. Sighing moodily, the inhuman teacher scooped up what he needed and left the office. Everything was darkened except for a few exterior lights around the exits. As he continued in his measured pace toward the courtyard exit he shook his head in bewilderment; Kazuki Muto, he had turned out to be the one he had accidentally killed, or at least thought he had killed. Obviously that had not been the case, but Mita was struck dumb for answers to how the boy's survival was possible. The homunculus professor was glad for it though, just confused about the how. If he thought too long on it he became afraid of what might be the explanation...

Without realizing it he had sped up to a fair clip. Mita stepped out of the threshold and into the alley between school buildings. To his right was the gate-the exit from the entire school complex-to his left was the courtyard where he had sentenced Muto to weed-pulling. Glancing to the left way, the man's king cobra traits were even more obvious; his keen, piercing gaze cut all the way to the opposite end of the courtyard in complete detail: There was Kazuki Muto, grabbing the bag he'd used that day in lieu of his school-approved one. He was surrounded by small garbage bags full of the aforementioned pulled weeds. Mita quickly looked down at the bag he was carrying in the same hand as his suitcase--Muto's bag.

After the homuculus had realized he'd impaled a second human instead of the girl he had stalked as prey he had paniced somewhat and withdrawn, remaining distressed for half the night. A few hours later, after coaching himself to return to the horrifying scene in his disguised humanoid form, he had found no body to identify, only blood. And the bag of one of Kensei Academy's students. One of his own students! The realization had been mind-scarring at first. Though he was a predator of humans (and other creatures when the opportunity arose, if it arose ever in a large town with over forty thousand humans) it could not be said that he enjoyed killing. Neither could it be said that he viewed humans as nothing more than a source of sustenance. He was not a human; he did not have the human-like attitude towards his prey. And he would not prey on a human he was already acquainted with. Atrocious behavior like that was generally only done by humans themselves... and mongoose, and occasionally stray dogs.

The boy had been skewered through the heart. Mita had thought that surely he could not still be alive. He had watched that morning with morbidity, waiting to secretly sift through the absences, driven by horrified curiosity to know which of his pupils he had caused to die.

There were no absences reported. And only Kazuki did not have that specific type of school-approved bag. At that time Mita had realized that something very unusual was afoot. It perplexed him as to how Muto had survived, and apparently uninjured. Well, he would find out the answer soon enough.

Unfortunately it would require a serious breach of the secrecy of the homunculi. If luck was with him Mita would only have to show his true form to one human.

Well, two, actually. He still had no clues to identify the girl that he had been stalking. If he ever did find her eating her was now out of the question.

Kazuki was making a move to go out the rear exit, probably to avoid the notoriously grouchy Mita. The boy hadn't even noticed the disguised homunculus watching him. It wasn't an easy thing to do, not nearly as easy as he had noticed Mita's exceptionally bad temper that morning. Though he did not know it, that too was a by-product of their unfortunate meeting last night.

"Where do you think you're going?" Mita broke the night's silence with an aggravated huff. Inwardly he cursed. He must learn to manage his temper a bit better. It was hard not to be on edge.

Kazuki started and turned nervously likewise. Shoot, there was Mita, and probably about to give him another verbal beating for the minor infarction. In all likelihood the nasty mood hovering about his teacher that morning was probably still there. Yeesh, the boy thought scathingly, why can't he just get a stress ball instead of using me as one? He didn't dare say that out loud!

"Are you done pulling the weeds..?" the professor tried again, this time noticeably less irate-sounding. Then, distractedly, he stopped a few paces away from his student, glancing around. His nerves were eating at him in a slow cruel way that was the exact opposite his own eating habits, "Well, it doesn't matter either way."

"Huh?" Kazuki uttered simply. He sounded perfectly confused.

"My main concern is this," the sharp, tactful, disciplinary tone was back in Mita's voice. As he spoke he lightly tossed Kazuki's mostly empty school bag toward him. It fell in the no-man's-land between them. Kazuki seemed surprised, relieved, and then a touch disturbed as he stooped to snatch it up.

As he should well be... Mita thought to himself as he watched the boy's reactions. He must know by now that what had happened had indeed happened.

"My bag!" Muto gaped, "Where did you--"

But Mita had been alive a very long time-longer than this boy by leaps and bounds. He knew already what Kazuki was going to say before he had started to say it.

"At the old factory on the mountain," he interrupted, his tone blunt and his eyes as serious as death, "behind the school."

Instantly the effect that the curt statement had on the sophomore was obvious. Half-stooped still from retrieving his bag, his eyes began focusing in and out--a clear sign of physical unease-and the hair on the back of his neck stood up. What? How did Mita know where to--?

...

Was what he saw not a dream? Could it have been... real?

The professor stood where he was, waiting on the stream of queries that was sure to come from the much younger being. After a few beats of silence, Mita narrowed his unblinking eyes and spoke a bit of..."encouragement".

"Well?" he said lowly, barely more than a hiss, "How do you explain that?"

"U-Uhh..." Kazuki croaked. This couldn't be happening-he had been killed by that monstrous snake thing in his dream. But it couldn't be a dream! Mita knew where he had gone... it had to be real-but then how could his teacher have been witness? There had only been that girl he'd saved and the monster itself.

The boy was obviously struggling to comprehend what had happened to him, and had just as obviously barely accepted that what had happened was real. Mita blinked once. He would go into shock, possibly, if some action was not taken on his own part.

"Calm down. Use your words," he said in a tone as close to reassuring as he could come. Kazuki, aside from the beads of sweat appearing on his forehead and the terror inherit in his eyes, seemed to respond positively and got a grip on himself. Or at least a fingerhold, "You went up there last night, didn't you? Have I not warned that that ruin is off-limits to students?"

"Er, yes, sir..."Muto stammered, a hint of defiance in his voice. Mita ignored the opposition--it was excusable given the circumstances.

"Hmph..." the teacher grumbled disapprovingly, "Don't you have any thought for your own safety at all?! That old factory is dangerous. It's a miracle you weren't hurt, or even killed!" Mita went into reprimand mode, and beyond the grating voice the homunculus used it was clear that his message was more of concern than of a desire to bully him. Muto lowered his head guiltily, squirming with discomfort in his own skin. Maybe his professor hadn't actually seen what happened. It was hard to focus on what Mita was saying with the frightening knowledge that a monster was near, somewhere, in the dark. The thought made his heart twinge strangely. Kazuki flinched.

Suddenly Mita changed his tune. What he said aroused the boy's suspicion again...

"Who was that with you?" the homunculus pressed, eager for information about the unknown girl, "Was she another student? If so, you ought to tell me right now who she is."

"N-no. I don't know who she is..!" Muto blurted without thinking. How in the world had Mita seen him and that girl there but not seem disturbed in the least about the presence of that giant snake-monster! It would have been impossible for the notoriously keen-eyed professor to not have seen it! Kazuki felt flustered and confused, filled to the brim with the urge to ask the millions of questions vying for position in his head.

Mita sighed deeply in disappointment. Fortunately, Kazuki did not seem to suspect that his teacher and the king cobra homunculus were one and the same. There was no need to reveal that to his student until he could find the girl. It'd be easier to explain to both of them together, and when it wasn't one-on-one typically people were less likely to run off screaming in a panic. He could wait.

"Pity," he mumbled, glaring at the ridiculous snail keychain on Muto's bag slightly, "If you should ever see her again would you mind telling her that that factory is falling apart? And if that doesn't work, bring her to me." Mita turned to leave through the gate-facing alley, peering back over his shoulder for one last word, "Now, it's late enough--you're dismissed. Don't be late tomorrow."

Kazuki gaped in astonishment still as he watched the receding form of his professor. He had, as Mita supposed, not connected the dots just yet, but he was intensely perplexed as to how the teacher could have observed him and the girl at the abandoned factory and yet not the huge beast that was also present. There was a question as to how he was still breathing if the presence of the monster was true. How?! he yelled in his own head, How does Mita know?! How am I alive?!

"U-uh, sir?" the boy suddenly called after his homunculus teacher as he managed a wave of courage. Mita turned, his expression unreadable but certainly not cheerful.

"What is it?" he said irritably, watching intensely as his student caught up with him at the gate. He had thought this was done with; he wanted to have at least a small chance of a hunt that night to prevent the starvation that was fast approaching.

"Sir, you--how?!" he sputtered, panting slightly. Mita's eyes widened both in confusion at the nonsensical outburst and in fear that Muto may have grasped what Mita really was, inconveniently late. They were no longer in the cover of the courtyard--if he had to show his true form it would be in front of God and all the world.

"Excuse me..?" Mita eventually said, not revealing a thing unless he was forced to. The boy caught his breath and quailed slightly--what was he doing?! Mita had let him off easy, something rare indeed. Why was he tempting fate and, God forbid, the possibility of more punishment?

"How'd you know...that...um, there was a girl there..?" Kazuki eventually managed to brave. Mita blinked, not sure where he should tread, since he wanted to tread softly on this matter. His professor's silence stirred even more action out of the sophomore. Something wasn't right here! "It wasn't a dream, was it?! If you knew the girl was there, then how come you didn't see that... that... monster!?"

The homunculus felt a lump forming in his throat. He was both nervous and relieved by what his student's outpouring had revealed: Kazuki, though still in disbelief about the events of last night, knew for sure that they were truly what happened-however, he still didn't realize that he was talking to the "monster". Mita leveled his keen gray gaze solemnly with the boy's wide dark brown one.

"I see..." he said cryptically, half-hooding his eyes.

Kazuki froze, icy fear gripping his entire chest. The sweat beaded on his face again. Somehow he sensed that something unknown and mysterious was afoot-that something terrifying was about to happen. What sort of response was that..?!

"So you remember everything?" Mita continued gloomily. Kazuki grinned nervously, unable to stop himself. Something about the knowing way his elder said this made him somewhat angry.

"Whaddya mean 'do I remember'?! Of course I remember!" he shouted. Mita winced and glanced around, seeking to see if any prying eyes were about, "I-I was k-killed by this, this thing! How do you know what happened to me?!" Kazuki's eyes were alight with outrage. This wasn't at all what Mita had intended to happen by questioning the boy. His brow furrowed slightly and his eyes narrowed as Kazuki huffed, "If you know what's going on then please explain it!" Mita glared venomously in reply, and the boy's fury fell short, "Uh, um... I mean... please explain it, s-sir."

There was nothing else for it but to do just as the boy had asked of him, though once it was done the boy may want to take back his request. Mita blinked and looked at Kazuki in a vague, almost reluctant expression. Muto found himself trembling; there was something funny about the air, like it had suddenly gotten thicker.

"If you're sure, I'll show you something that should clear up a few things," Mita offered, a warning edge under his voice, "But you mustn't run, or speak of it to anyone, excepting that girl that you leaped in front of. I'm sure she would care for an explanation too."

"Sh...show me something...?!" Now Kazuki was afraid. A thought had snuck into his conscious mind that he should be wary of the professor. He felt the same now in Mita's presense as he did when he first saw the massive, cobra-like monstrosity--

--But that couldn't be...

... Or could it?

Muto opened his mouth to say something, but all that came out was a petrified gurgle. Brow furrowing deeper, Mita caught on and frowned.

"What did I just tell you?" he sighed. A surge of alchemical energy whose source was the planet itself welled up within and around him. He had initiated his transformation from his "dense", or disguised, form to his truer appearance-the way that Kazuki had seen him last night, "Don't run."

With that, Kazuki beheld the awesome, and extremely frightening, spectacle: Mita relaxed as scales like a mesh of earthy mail formed upon him, and great spines of the same substance surged out of his shoulders. Then, before Muto had time to fully register the change, the long, serpentine body exploded forth from whatever ethereal plane it had been hidden in and all likeness that the homunculus held with a human was stowed away in its place. From his heavy, bullet-shaped head to his slender sharp-tipped tail he was far longer than three city buses placed end to end. All along the vast lengths of winding, steely-fleshed coils was a scalemail of square-shaped plates of varying sizes, the exact green-gray color of an ancient male king cobra. In girth he was so thick that three men encircling him would have difficulty grasping each others' hands. His underside was plated with paler, more rectangular belly scales, each one the area of a card table. He spread his immense hood; it could have shadowed an entire full-sized car. But the head was the most riveting thing Kazuki had ever seen. It was longer, from nose to the very back of his jaw, than he was tall. The eyes, pupil-less and unblinking, burned out the same sharp gray as his teacher's human eyes. The mouth opened, and rows of silvery-white, barbed teeth could be seen, dwarfed though by the immensity of the venomous fangs. There was almost no need for these massive dentitions to inject venom--the sheer size of them made them as deadly to a human as being run through with a katana. There did not appear to be a tongue, but Kazuki wasn't much concerned with that. He stood rooted to the spot with fear, gazing up open-mouthed at the true form of Mita, the monster who had skewered him upon its tail when he tried to save the girl!

Partially closing his killer maw, Mita looked down cautiously at his student, judging how well the boy was taking it. The fear was expectable; Mita's diet was almost entirely made up of humans these days. Save those he was acquainted with, like his students and co-workers. But Kazuki Muto did not know that.

"Eh...uh...ah..." Muto choked, backing away until he was almost against the gate. The monster was looking right at him, and it was his teacher Mita! So that was how Mita had known where to find his bag, how Muto had tried to save the girl, and that he had been impaled through the heart! Slowly the blind terror melded into a reckless outrage, and, spurred on by this angry courage, he ran at the nearest scale-armored coil (which was the equivalent of Mita's chest).

"You..!" he raged in a shrill voice, flailing his fists against the immovable body, "You killed me! You killed me! Why did-why, you!"

The homunculus felt the blows, but they were like the scrabblings of a tiny mouse. Gazing down he almost felt amused by the spectacle, but reserved the urge to chuckle. What wasn't funny was the apparent "death" of his student. Mita felt a wave of shame and anger at himself for not being careful enough.

"Do I need to remind you what the penalty is for striking a teacher?" Mita's voice came; it was a bit deeper and the quality was cavernous, but otherwise the voice was the same.

Kazuki let up and bolted upright with a shock. He could talk even in giant-cobra-form. And he was just as intimidating as ever. Nope, more so. In this form it was easy to imagine in cartoonish script the professor eating him like a twinkie for a late assignment. But that, or its real-life equivalent, hadn't happened yet.

"Well?" Mita carried on somewhat dryly, "Does this answer some questions?"

"Uh... Yes, sir," Kazuki answered, blinking owlishly, his hands shaking with equal fear and excitement, "But, er, what exactly are you? And why did you kill me?!"

Mita lowered his head until only his coils from the neck-up were elevated off the ground in front of the boy.

"I am what is called a homunculus," he said, immediately feeling a weight lift off his mind. There was no going back now, but at least Kazuki did not seem so terrified that he may lose his wits and scream the secret to the world, "We are life forms created by Alchemy."

In the shadow of the unfamiliar words, Kazuki's brow furrowed and he seemed to get a handle on himself.

"Homunculus? Alchemy?" he interrupted, having difficulty pronouncing them, "What the heck is Alchemy?"

"...Ahem," Mita coughed, staring indignantly down his scaly snout at Muto for being interrupted. He gaped his mouth wide, and instantly Kazuki leaped back in fright. To his surprise, and slight revulsion, Mita's true form did have a tongue-but it was not at all what any would have expected. Materializing from a hidden place in Mita's own gullet was a sinewy and scale-coated coil, only about the thickness of a man's neck. The tip of the "tongue" was not forked--it was the human head of Mita. The only difference was the presence of a few leathery square scales creeping onto his cheeks and an odd symbol like two interlocking droplets upon his forehead. A pale, whitish-pink snake tongue flicked out from between the homunculus's thin, frowning lips, then slipped back in.

"You really don't know?" Mita sighed, the echoing quality gone from his voice, "It's even in the dictionary! You've never even heard of Alchemy?"

"Er... Only from mangas, but..." Kazuki blinked rapidly, studying the homunculus's unusual anatomy with a mixture of fascination and disgust, "But that can't be real! It's magic and sorcery and trying to turn random objects into gold!"

"True," the homunculus admitted almost benignly. His hood lowered as his scanning eyes observed no eavesdroppers.

"Then what's real Alchemy?" Muto pressed curiously, his fear of the vast creature lessened now that he could recognize him as his teacher more readily.

"Hmm, that would take all night and half of tomorrow to explain fully," Mita groaned, "But the simple version is that it is less like magic than it is like... Genetics. It does involve the ability to harness and use the energy of the planet. Homunculi are only created through this ability, though... that isn't the only use for it."

"The energy of the planet?" Kazuki muttered dubiously, "I... sorta get it." The truth was, the only other place he'd heard the phrase "using the energy of the planet" was on a decidedly kooky alien show. The boy had not found the conspiratorial program very reliable. But now he was talking to a giant shape-shifter--anything was fair game now. In the middle of scratching his head he suddenly looked cross and pointed an accusing finger directly at Mita's forehead symbol, "You still haven't told me why you killed me last night!"

Mita drew his face back slightly from the pointing finger out of reflex, then settled somewhat and closed his piercing eyes shamefully. He gritted his teeth slightly for a moment before he answered.

"Believe me, I would never kill one of my students intentionally. I didn't even know you were there until it was too late. I did not even know it was you at all until this morning." He opened his eyes again and let them bore holes in the stunned boy with their graveness, "That should not have happened. Thankfully, you seem to have survived."

"How?" Kazuki wondered aloud. His anger was gone entirely.

"I don't know..." Mita admitted, his expression a picture of badly concealed bafflement, "Another reason to find the identity of the girl."

"But what could she know? What could she have done?"

As much as both of them wanted to ponder the mystery further, neither was in much shape or at a good time to do so. This became clear when both of Mita's mouths opened wide in a simultaneous yawn. Muto also realized his fatigue, and he was hungry also. Mahiro would have saved some dinner for him, though.

"Tomorrow," the teacher said. Witha hasty surge of environmental energy and a rapid rustling of many scaly coils, his human form returned after a burst of light. Kazuki let his jaw drop; where did it all go? "It's far too late for all this now. Go home."

Mita yawned again and blinked rather blearily as he went to the gate and opened it. He was pleasantly surprised by how calmly his student had accepted his not being a human being at all, but he thought it best to reserve that judgement until after Kazuki knew of his taking humans as prey. The hunger pangs were almost throbs now, agonizing--it took all his willpower to keep from clutching at his empty stomach in pain.

"O-okay," Kazuki mumbled, slipping through the gate first and rather swiftly. Now that he knew what his infamously strict professor really was it was hard not to be so obediant. Mita followed and, just before veering off to shut the gate behind him and head off, hissed a quiet reminder to the boy:

"Remember--this knowledge is for you and the girl alone. No one else."

As Mita drew away, he silently prayed that the sophomore could keep his mouth shut. There was little damage an ordinary human could do, even if he did spill it to important people. He ignored his nagging doubts and moved on to thoughts on much-needed sustenance.

Kazuki waited until the professor was out of sight, and then began sprinting like a spooked antelope toward the dormitory complexes. He prayed he would be able to keep shut about something like this! But then again, if he folded there'd be only two people in the world who'd ever believe him--his sister Mahiro and the mysterious girl. And he couldn't tell Mahiro something like this. It would only scare her-make her scared of Mita.

Kazuki chuckled. That wasn't such a bad idea, actually. Sometimes it paid to fear the wrath of the science professor and his military interpretation of school ordinance...

Eager to be on his way, Muto wondered what kind of food Mahiro had put aside for him.

In the dark, abandoned courtyard of Kensei Academy it was pleasantly quiet, but not the silence Tokiko had expected if a homunculus had been hunting in the area. The crickets chirped away undisturbed. Somewhere a wakened rafter pigeon cooed briefly and then settled. Katydids were coming out, trilling their incessant mating calls from the grassy sports fields. Into this idyllic scene the Alchemist dropped, her thighs adorned with a deadly metallic apparatus fixed with many arms and blades-the execution scythe Buso Renkin, Valkyrie Skirt. A weapon made with the powers of alchemy, it was eternally lethal-so razor-edged that it could even pierce homuculi's hides, cleave steel scaffolding, hack devastating wounds into concrete buildings.

Her plan was not going well, however. She had no target in sight, and that made it difficult to slay said target. What was worse, the boy was gone as well. She feared that she had been too late (she'd felt the energy shockwave that echoed from this place, the tell-tale sign of a homunculus coming out of its disguise).

In her frustration she slashed a deep gouge out of the courtyard flagstones with one of the Valkyrie Skirt's terrible scythe blades. She felt she had not prevented the poor boy she'd saved from the homunculus attack from becoming yet another victim of that monster. What was worse was that the Buso Renkin she had used as Kazuki's heart replacement would now be destroyed as well. She hadn't lost just any old civilian on this mission--she'd lost a potential Alchemist recruit to aid in the struggle to preserve the natural order and destroy the creatures which preyed upon mankind.

She felt another shock of elemental energy rush by, and by its density she determined it had come from about a mile to the southwest.

Hunting again?! Tokiko came to the conclusion, glaring wide-eyed and vengeful in the direction of the burst, That gluttonous abomination!

It would take her twenty minutes even at top speed to intercept the devourer in his hunting grounds. Nevertheless, she leapt into the air, bounding from one rooftop to another, her alchemical weapon splaying out at each impact leaving her uninjured. She left an undisclosed amount of damage to cement structure and roofing tile in her wake.

At the end of her journey she touched down heavily in a secluded alley, steam rising from a manhole nearby. Four-story warehouses hemmed the grimy strip of asphalt in. On glancing down at her feet Tokiko spotted two large spatters of deep crimson blood, the edges of the pools drying into an indistinct brownish stain already.

Curse her tardiness! Five minutes faster and she knew and she knew she could have stopped the killing and claimed the life of the cobra homunculus. Now her chances were gone, at least for another few days. The monster had gotten its fill, for now. Chances were it would not slide off for another slaughter until it hungered again.

Partially disarming the Valkyrie Skirt, Tokiko paced off into the billowing mists, vanishing again to the eyes of any who may look for her. She would watch that school for a few days for clues to the beast's identity, and to ensure that wherever it was it did not also claim Muto's sister. Staying in the shadows, she would be patient, preying on the predator...

Burp...

Hoping no one nearby had heard that but not bothering to look, Mita returned to his home east of the school. The house, typical for the city and the neighborhood, was not far at all from the abandoned factory on the mountain. Sighing, he turned the key in the door even though it always gave him trouble. He almost missed a ginger cat rubbing his legs. He wasn't sure where the cat had come from. She came from across the road. Probably the old woman's place. He entered, gently pushing the feline away with one foot to keep the creature from following him unashamedly right in.

He had been very lucky that night: Rather than the usual of simply choosing a random human which he was sure he did not know he had happened to come across a pair of unsavory-looking types. He had loomed over them unnoticed for nearly a minute, watching them torment a blind old man in the alley.

The blind one suddenly found himself fending off... nothing but thin air where the thugs had been. Mita spared the old man; two bulky male humans was enough to last him over a week, and it would be a vile act indeed to kill a person that he himself had just saved.

Now full and satisfied, he removed the trappings of his profession (tie, mildly uncomfortable shoes, jacket) and finally allowed himself to lounge (though still somewhat reservedly) on the couch. There was news on the television, he knew. I may as well watch it, nothing else decent is ever on this thing... he thought.

Though sometimes the news reports made him uneasy--reports on missing persons that in actuality had not been murdered, but had been his prey, though the humans would be hard-pressed to understand the difference. And he'd noticed a disturbing trend in this: Less than half of his prey were ever reported missing. He blew a sigh through his nostrils. Perhaps it was better for maintaining his secrecy. It still didn't speak well for mankind in general.

The homunculus turned his attention back to the program. It was dull. Incredibly dull. Not five minutes of that monotonous head anchor's voice had made him feel about to pass out.

"In more mysterious news, the Lake Fushiki Monster has supposedly been spotted again, this time by more than thirty boaters and fishermen that were out on the lake for..."

Mita's fearsome eyes snapped open. He then buried his face in one hand and growled out:

"Uuarrgh... That idiot Norinaka!"

"...folks aren't sure but experts believe the 'monster' is more than likely a misidentified eel, otter, or even a floating log..."

The homunculus breathed a heavy sigh of relief.

"Thank Heaven for incompetent biologists..."

Then he recalled that Norinaka, or the "Lake Fushiki Monster" as he was more famously known, was a veteran marine biologist in that area. Mita's wide, normally tacit mouth curled upwards in a smile; he chuckled openly until his breath abandoned him and his sides stitched.

"Of course, that old fraud..!"

Ah, well. It was a weeknight, and he had to be at the school at eight tomorrow morning. He thought it best to get some sleep.

Yes, yes, I know. Purists will stone me to death with alchemical rocks! ^_^

Well, I know this is very unorthodox and I do accept "flames" (negative reviews), though I ask you keep 'em somewhat respectful. Please don't curse (much) and make it a nice logical thought. You can't just say it's bad and not tell me why. Not just a single insult.

Though if you do have positive reviews, I'm all for them too. Whee! Stay tuned for Chapter 2!