Hermione's Mistake

Hi everyone,

Here's my new one, it's just a short one but it was in my mind so I had to get it out on paper.

Hope you enjoy it, it is from Hermione's point of view and it's all finished.

Disclaimer: All J K Rowlings property except that Harry and Hermione should've been together :-)

just enjoy playing in her world.

Sirius xoxo

Chapter 1

You know when your head is telling you one thing but your stupid heart is saying another? I'm pretty sure you have been in that predicament before, I mean most women have, ones that have fallen for the wrong man anyway.

Well that's me, stupid Hermione Granger-Weasley, the one who fell for the wrong man. The one person who listened to her heart and not her head which mind you, had never let her down before. My story is written in any history book you pick up, the youngest witch of all times to be instrumental in the downfall of the Dark Lord known as Voldemort, the brightest witch of all time they say. But the one thing you won't read about, the one thing that haunts me to this very day is the biggest mistake I ever made... the day I killed my best friend.

To completely understand the intensity of what I have done, I need to take you back to a time about 4 years ago, when we were in the middle of the war that would eventually end all wars. Harry Potter and Ron Weasley were my partners in crime but most importantly my best friends. From the age of 11, we did everything together, we studied, we searched for horcruxes, we almost died on many occasions but the most important thing was that we were together.

That all changed during the war.

Ron just lost it, I think he panicked and needed to be with his family so he left Harry and me to keep searching for the final horcruxes. At first it was business as usual and with only the two of us taking turns with the necklace, the tension rose ten fold and by the end of the week, we started taking it out on each other. One particularly bad episode Harry was yelling at me for missing a vital clue and as a result I was almost killed by Nagini.

I was tired and sick and over everything so I snapped.

"Harry why don't you just go to hell, I've had enough of you and your stupid war. I am sick of not being needed by you until you decide I can help, just leave me the hell alone."

I stomped out of the tent leaving Harry swearing behind me and even though the night was pitch black, I just walked and walked as far away from him as possible. I hit the forcefield I had put up and even in my anger I knew I couldn't go past it so I settled down in a hollow tree trunk and let the pain of the argument take over me. I cried for about half an hour I think, yelled quite a few times and grunted in annoyance before I actually dozed off.

The freezing cold air woke me about 2am and I stumbled out of my tree stump bed disorientated and tried to make it back to the tent site. I couldn't see and worse still, I couldn't remember which way I had come. After walking around for what felt like ages, I realised I was completely lost. I am pretty sure it was a couple of hours before Harry had found me, completely frozen and scared half to death. At first he yelled at me for leaving and then he just stopped. I don't know why, maybe he saw how defeated I looked and he felt sorry for me but whatever the reason was, I was glad he stopped yelling.

He put his arm around my waist and manoeuvred me through the trees and back to the tent and even though he gave me a thick blanket, I just couldn't get warm. I kept shivering and shaking and my teeth wouldn't stop chattering. I had no idea what Harry was thinking but he sat on the chair as far away from me as possible and just stared into the distance.

"Sorry," I mumbled hoping to break the deafening silence.

"You could've been caught!" Harry said with absolutely no emotion what so ever.

"Yeah could've been... probably should've been!" I said defeated as I sat down on a small step.

I looked at him and wished not for the first time, that this stupid war would be over. It was extremely hard being in such close vicinity to Harry and have him hate me as much as he did. It must have been even harder for him, being stuck with me knowing he had Ginny Weasley at home waiting for him. I secretly wished he would care for me even half as much as I cared for him. Mentally I laughed at myself, I mean who was I kidding, I cared for Harry far more than any friend should and maybe deep down I loved him but he felt nothing. He was madly in love with Ginny and in all honesty, who wouldn't be, the girl was stunning.

Speaking of the Weasley's, Ron had made his affections towards me known on quite a few occasions and as much as I loathed the idea of being with someone I didn't love, it was better than being alone.

"I'm going to bed." Harry broke my train of thought and I nodded not making eye contact with him. I remembered I had his blanket so I peeled it off and passed it to him, feeling the cold instantly. He looked at me, taking the blanket and then put his hand out to me. I looked him in the eye completely confused and I saw something there I hadn't seen before, a tenderness maybe, a moment of weakness I wasn't sure but something made me put my hand in his and he pulled me to my feet. He placed the blanket back around my shoulders and then lead me to my small bed. I let him guide me soaking up this rare moment of tenderness and then I let him lay me down and tuck me in.

I wanted to say thank you, I wanted to let him know I appreciated it but the words were stuck in my throat because he started to take off his belt and jeans and then he slid in next to me. My body frozen at first, took only a few seconds to gravitate towards his warmth completely against my wishes and he wrapped his arms around me. I kept my arms tucked into my own body probably afraid that I would scare him off but he rubbed my back gently.

"Sleep Mione."

I felt my body warm instantly against his and even though I wanted to stay awake and soak up this moment of weakness on Harry's behalf, I couldn't fight the overwhelming need to sleep and I dozed off instantly. I awoke around lunch time and felt for Harry but my bed was empty just like my heart. I laid there and decided what would be the best way to deal with this once I saw him.

I didn't need to worry because when I went to find him he was gone. I mean completely gone, he had collected his things and apparated to God knows where and I was left alone. I was so angry at first that I wasn't thinking straight. I threw things around and had a little tantrum.

Thinking back now, it felt good. I finally calmed down and started to think straight. I decided that in all honesty Harry was smart but not overly intelligent so surely I could figure out where he went. I looked over the notes I took and after a while I had a few ideas as to where Harry would've gone. It actually took me longer to pack up the tent and stuff than it did to work out where he was. It was almost evening by the time I found a new spot to camp on the outskirts of the little town near Godric's Hollow. I concealed our spot and set off to where I thought he would be. The rain was falling down quite heavily and I struggled to stay hidden and still look out for him. After an hour I was beginning to give up when I heard something that sounded like an explosion of which I had heard all to often in this war. It was a spell that had missed its target and hit a brick wall.

I ran.

I headed in the direction of the sound which was getting louder the closer I got. I rounded a corner and screeched to a halt. Harry was further down the street batting with Belatrix and two others I couldn't identify from my position. I had to get my head clear, first thing was I needed to scan the area and get a vantage point. While I looked around two more people apparated in and it was getting desperate. Against my better judgement I decided on not having a plan, I just ran wielding my wand and hoped for the best. I took out two people who I managed to take by surprise and then it all started.

We didn't really win that night but we got out with our lives so I suppose that was a win. Harry was well and truly pissed with me because I apparated him out when three more people apparated in, we were already severely outnumbered and I wasn't prepared to risk it.

"What the hell were you doing, I nearly had Belatrix?" Harry screamed when I apparated us back to the tent. I tried to interject, I tried to explain but nothing worked. I wasn't proud of what I did next but I sort of reacted out of anger.

I cursed Harry so he couldn't talk. His anger was evident on his face and even though the spell only lasted a few minutes, he was furious with me.

I went to bed that night thinking about the things he said to me and I don't know whether it was him or me and I'm not proud to say it, but I had had enough. I finally decided I just couldn't stay in this tent with him so I left. I justified my thoughts by thinking that I needed to make things right, fix the wrong I had done tonight.

I apparated back into town where we were earlier that night and I walked back down the road to a house that I had recognised from the many books I read. It was Harry's family home. I was absolutely sure something had to be there, some clue, anything. I slowly walked in and after running a couple of complicated scans to make sure I was alone I started looking. I wasn't really sure what I was looking for but I just looked.

I looked around and wandered through the walls of the house Harry lived in for the first twelve months of his life. I imagined his mum and dad sitting with him in the lounge room playing games with their precious baby. I walked upstairs and saw the marks on the walls, obvious reminders of that fateful night. I looked around the other rooms for quite a while and then ventured into Harry's room.

Even though the age and weather had taken their tolls on the room, I could imagine how it was once. The feelings of loss and pain engulfed me and I shook my head trying to clear away the story I had made in my mind. Exhaustion overcame me so I sat down on the floor and rested for a while. As I laid my head down on the mouldy, dirty carpet, a glint of light caught my eye and I reached under the small, broken baby's bed and pulled out a necklace. It was a locket and I hesitantly waved my wand over it to make sure it wasn't a horcrux or a portkey or some such magical device. It seemed clear so I opened it and gasped. Inside was a baby photo of Harry on one side and Lily and James on the other side, I turned it over and there was an engraving on the back.

"To my precious Lily, I'll love you and Harry always, James xo"

I held it in my hand for quite a while contemplating whether to take it back to Harry or hold onto it. I must have dozed off because the next thing I knew I was being shaken roughly by someone.

"What the hell are you doing Hermione?" Harry was frantically looking around obviously worried we would get caught. I staggered to my feet still a bit groggy from being woken so abruptly.

Harry grabbed me by my shoulders and shook me,

"What if something happened to you Hermione, did you even think about that? Did you think what would happen to me if you died?"

The next thing that happened still baffles me to this day but all I knew was Harry's lips crashed onto mine and he kissed me hard. I took a few seconds to react but when I did, I enthusiastically returned the kiss. I wrapped my arms around his body and I held on to him desperately. I kissed him like my life depended on it and in all honesty it probably was the last time I would ever be kissed by him. He pulled back and leant his forehead on mine. I was quite surprised he didn't pull back completely disgusted with his actions. He slowly raised his hand to my face and gently stroked my cheek and my eyes fluttered closed at his touch. The next thing I knew we were apparating somewhere and we landed with a thud. I tried to get my balance but Harry still held me tight and then he kissed me again.

I loved the sounds he was making as he kissed my neck and sucked on my jawline. He started to lift my shirt up and his fingers left hot trails on my skin and I shuddered under his touch. When it seemed like we couldn't stop even if we wanted to, he did. He looked at me, his breath panting, his eyes the deepest emerald green I had ever seen and his cheeks flushed deep red.

"Hermione, I can stop now if you don't want to go on?" His eyes pleaded with me to answer him and I did. I slowly lifted his shirt up and took it off over his head and ran my hands down his chest. I took his hands in mine and led him over to the small bed that we had in our tent and I sat down waiting for him to make the next move. He slowly knelt down on his knees so we were face to face and he whispered, "are you sure?" so I nodded and he leant forward and kissed me again. This time it wasn't rushed or hurried, it was gentle and full of meaning. He slowly crept over the top of me and laid me down. We fumbled over each other's body, being both of our first times, but it was special all the same.

Thinking back now, its amazing that we didn't have any of the awkward moments after the event. We seemed to fit into each other like gloves onto hands. By the time the war was over we were sleeping in one bed and knew each other inside out. I wondered on more than one occasion how we were going to break it to the Weasley's but in all my giddy happiness, I honestly didn't care. All I wanted was Harry and from what I could see, he wanted me too and the rest would work itself out.