I'm not dead. Let's have dinner. -SH
Please stop texting me. -JW
Why? -SH
Because it's rude and disrespectful, both to Sherlock Holmes and to me. Now if you have any decency, please leave me alone. -JW
But I am Sherlock Holmes. -SH
No you're not. Stop it right now. -JW
Why do you say that? -SH
Because I watched him die. Stop texting me. -JW
When we got back to the flat after chasing that taxi during A Study in Pink, you mentioned that it was the most ridiculous thing you've ever done. I replied with the fact that you invaded Afghanistan. -SH
Shit. -JW
Get in here, I need to see you again. -JW
I wish I could. -SH
Well why can't you? -JW
Because Moran is still alive. -SH
I don't follow. -JW
If you know that I am alive, he will kill you. -SH
What? Why? -JW
Moriarty. -SH
Ah, of course. -JW
I've put you in danger. I shouldn't have done this, I'm sorry. -SH
Don't worry, I'll be fine. -JW
Oh and please excuse my first message. Irene refused to help unless I used those words to contact you. -SH
Wait, Irene's alive too? -JW
I was under the impression she was alive in a witness protection program in America. -SH
Shut up. -JW
How did she fake her death this time? -JW
She had help. -SH
Duh. -JW
From me. -SH
You went to Pakistan. -JW
Obviously. -SH
Thanks for telling me. I truly appreciate it. -JW
Not at all. -SH
I was being sarcastic. -JW
Judging by the looks you gave her, I was under the impression you wanted her to remain dead. -SH
No, of course not. That's a horrible thing to say. -JW
I may not like her, but I don't want her dead. -JW
Apologies. -SH
Why don't you like her? -SH
Never you mind. -JW
I can keep a secret. Go on, why? -SH
No. -JW
Did you get jealous? -SH
Stop it. -JW
So you got jealous. -SH
I didn't say that. -JW
You might as well have. I did hear your exchange with her in the abandoned power station you know. -SH
You were angry that she was flirting with me, and yet you told her to tell me that she was alive. Why? -SH
That was months ago, I can't remember. -JW
Yes you can. -SH
Why do you care? -JW
Just curious. -SH
Yeah right. -JW
.
Well? -SH
Well what? -JW
Why did you get angry at her for flirting with me and for faking her death? -SH
.
John? -SH
I'm not answering that question. -JW
Yes you will. -SH
Make another one of your stupid deductions. -JW
I can't do that through text. Text doesn't convey emotion. -SH
Thank God for that. -JW
Interesting. Why do you say that? -SH
Shut up. -JW
Never. -SH
Besides, even if I were to tell you (which I won't), it's too important to say here. -JW
What is? -SH
Nice try. -JW
What if I am to die tomorrow at the hands of Moran? Do you want me to die curious? -SH
I don't want you to die period. -JW
Obviously. -SH
See this is why I don't want to tell you. -JW
What? -SH
Your stupid ego, that's what. -JW
Sorry. -SH
Excuse me? -JW
I won't repeat myself. -SH
The great Sherlock Holmes actually apologized? -JW
Shut up. -SH
I'm impressed. -JW
I'm rolling my eyes. -SH
Still impressed. -JW
That should give me at least part of what's on your mind. It's only fair. -SH
Fine. -JW
.
John? -SH
Still here. -JW
What's taking so long? -SH
I'm trying to put it into words. -JW
Take your time. -SH
.
I told Irene Adler to tell you that she was alive because I care about your happiness more than I care about my own bitterness. -JW
I see. -SH
Now can we please leave it alone? -JW
Not unless you want me deducing it for myself. -SH
Don't be a coward John. -SH
I'm not. -JW
Yes you are. -SH
Not everyone is as certain about everything as you. -JW
I don't know about that. -SH
How do you mean? -JW
You were pretty certain I was dead. -SH
Really? You only just told me you're not dead and now you're joking about it? -JW
It should be cause for celebration. -SH
Not laughing. -JW
What, was that not good? -SH
A bit not good, yeah. -JW
Ah it's just like old times. -SH
Okay that one did make me smile a bit. -JW
Excellent. -SH
Not much. Just a bit. -JW
Good enough. -SH
.
Oh. Hm. I've got it. -SH
Got what? -JW
I know what you mean now. -SH
What I mean about what? -JW
When you said my happiness was more important than your bitterness. -SH
Good on you then. -JW
Shall I tell you? Or do you want to tell me? -SH
I'm not saying a thing. -JW
Why not? -SH
Because you'll laugh. -JW
I would never. -SH
Uh-huh. I can hear the sarcasm in your voice. -JW
What sarcasm? -SH
Don't play dumb. -JW
Well you're playing hard to get. -SH
Excuse me? -JW
John I detest repeating myself. -SH
Please tell me that was a spelling error. -JW
Name one occasion where I have made a spelling error. -SH
.
See? -SH
Besides, how can "hard to get" possibly be a spelling error for something else? -SH
Oh God that really is what you didn't misspell. -JW
So how am i playing hard to get? -JW
You really can't tell? -SH
No I really can't. -JW
Allow me to draw your attention back to our adventure with Irene Adler. -SH
Oh joy. -JW
When we were in Buckingham Palace, and I was in my sheet, you asked me if I was wearing any pants. -SH
So? I'm sure anyone in that situation would ask the same thing. -JW
Before you asked, you took a look at my crotch. -SH
It was covered by your sheet! -JW
Did you want the sheet there? -SH
Of course I did! -JW
Are you sure? -SH
Shut up. -JW
A few days later you started a relationship with that girl. -SH
She has a name you know. -JW
Do I care? -SH
You should. -JW
Well I don't. My feelings were hurt. -SH
How on Earth did my relationship hurt your feelings? -JW
Make a deduction. -SH
I thought the only thing on your mind was shagging Irene Adler. -JW
Don't be thick. You remember how I was when I had an interesting case. -SH
So she was just a puzzle to be solved then? -JW
Essentially, yes. -SH
That's a bit rude. -JW
Well what do you want me to say? -SH
I don't want you objectifying them. They're people, Sherlock. -JW
Sorry. -SH
Two apologies in one day? This IS a miracle. -JW
Shut up. -SH
So why is my relationship with Jeanette so important to you? -JW
Same reason why my relationship with Irene was so important to you. -SH
It really is a very silly dance we've been doing. -SH
I don't know what you're talking about. -JW
Yes you do. -SH
I'm not gay. -JW
I'm married to my work. And yet here we are. -SH
Fine. I give up. I'll talk. -JW
.
John? -SH
Still putting it into words. -JW
Ah. Take your time. -SH
.
I like you. And not as a friend. -JW
.
Most people use the phrase "more than a friend," but to me friendships are just as important as romantic relationships. -JW
.
And your feelings towards me are romantic? -SH
.
Yes. -JW
.
Goodbye John. -SH
What? -JW
I have to stop texting you. -SH
Why? -JW
If I don't there will be very little stopping me from coming back to 221B and kissing you until my lips feel numb. -SH
Possibly more. Possibly less. I haven't quite decided yet. -SH
Wow. That was unexpected. -JW
After the dance we've been doing around each other all this time? I'd say it was anticipated. -SH
So you have feelings for me too? -JW
Last time I checked those who were "just friends" didn't offer to snog their significant other senseless. -SH
And we still can't see each other. -JW
I will call you as soon as Moran is dead. -SH
Promise? -JW
It will be the very first thing I do. -SH
Okay. Be safe. -JW
Of course. -SH
Author Note: SHIT. I was NOT expecting this to become so popular. when I saw how many people reviewed it, I nearly threw my laptop onto the ground! thank you all SO much for your kind words. I have a Potter!lock story in the works, which will be longer and have an actual plot. and I'm working on another Reichenbach return story (hopefully my last one, I need to do something different!) based on a heartbreaking gif set I saw on tumblr. just wanted to keep you guys updated. thanks again, and DFTBA!