A/N: I did promise to never abandon a story, and I'm sticking to that… I do however hope that it will never take me this long to update again.

If you are still reading, please enjoy.

And since it's been a long time, I'll remind you:

Thoughts will be in italics.
The brain replying to thoughts will be in bold italics.

Two weeks.

Two weeks? Lily thinks, completely confused. The calendar surely cannot be mistaken. It's been over two weeks.

Maybe I miscounted. She decides, pulling the calendar down from the cupboard and taking a seat on kitchen stool.

Twenty-first. Twenty-eight days. Should have been on the seventeenth. Today is the third of December. Lily flips back to October on her calendar. She sees the red dot in the left hand corner of the twenty-first. She flips the page over to November, the red dot matches her math, and the seventeenth is clearly marked.

This has to be a mistake. I must have just been so busy that I'm forgetting. It's happened before. The potion she takes to counteract the symptoms does such a wonderful job that she often forgets what time of the month it is. Lily hangs the calendar back up on the cupboard and turns to put a pot of tea on. November was a busy month, too. James and Sirius were away for over a week, must have been around that time, I wouldn't have been paying attention, just going through the motions. Lily tries to lie to herself.

She continues to make tea distractedly, redoing the math in her head over and over again. An idea strikes her and she berates herself for not thinking of it before now. She turns the kettle off and rushes up the stairs to her and James' bathroom.

"Lily?" James asks from behind the shower door. "That you?"

No, it's a Death Eater rooting around in our potions cupboard looking for a headache cure. She wants to retort. She isn't sure why she's so irritable this morning. "Yes, it's me." She answers him. "Just checking something."

She pushes the bandages aside and pulls out the small box filled with Dysmenorrhea Potion. It's an ingenious little potion invented by a witch before the Founder's time that Beth had taught her in their second year. Take a vial on the day your symptoms start and they'll be cured for the rest of that menstrual cycle. It also helps women become more regular and controls their hormones. She remembers feeling sorry for her sister, always complaining about cramps and going through mood swings. Lily had only experienced that one time, now during her time of the month she doesn't feel any different than normal, except for a strong hankering for chocolate.

Fuck. Lily thinks, opening the potion box. There should only be two vials left. One for December and one for January, she always makes a year supply of it before her birthday. She can't help but stare at the three amber colored vials seemingly shining back at her.

"Shit." She whispers to herself.

The water shuts off a few moments later but Lily's unable to tear her eyes away from the box.

"You could've joined me." James says, picking up his wand and casting a drying spell over himself. "We could've had a little bit of fun before heading out to meet with Frank and Alice."

Lily doesn't listen to James babble on about the raid they're going on this afternoon. She keeps looking at the vials in her hand, thinking about what it means.

I'm two weeks late.

"Lily?" James says, coming to stand right in front of her. "Is everything alright? You've been staring at that box for the last ten minutes."

She looks up at him to see he's fully dressed and looking at her with concern.

Should I tell him? I'm not even certain yet. I could just be late, or something, it doesn't mean what I think it means. It might be a fluke, you never know.

Chicken

She sighs, reminding herself that her conscious is almost always right about these things. She holds out the box to James and he takes it.

"Isn't this your period potion?" He asks, confused. Peter and Sirius had seen Lily taking a dysmenorrhea potion one day back in their sixth year and after laughing for nearly twenty minutes about the idea of it, they so lovingly named it her 'period potion'. Unfortunately the name caught on and most of the boys in Hogwarts started calling it that.

"Yes." Lily answers, not bothering to correct him on the name.

"Okay." He says, pronouncing the word slowly, drawing out the syllables. "And why are we staring at a box of period potions?" He asks.

"Because there are three of them." She tells him.

"Right." James says, looking down at the box. "Did you think you had more?"

"Less."

"Well, that's a good thing, right?"

"No."

"Lily, I'm trying really hard to understand what's going on right now, but I'm really not getting it. Is this some girl thing that I'll never understand? Should I owl Alice or Marlene?"

"No." She answers, pulling down a different box from the shelf above. She glances into the box and sees the singular, lonely bottle of contraceptive potion. She had known there'd only be one left, she had just taken the second to last two days before.

"Are you taking inventory? I thought we agreed to do all the major brewing at the end of January."

"We did. I just wanted to make sure I'm not going crazy." She admits, putting both boxes back in their rightful places in the cupboard.

"Lily, you're really worrying me here. Can you please tell me what's going on?" James says, apprehension clouding his face.

A soft chime comes from James' watch and they both look down at it. "We have to go." Lily says, relieved at the idea of not having to tell him yet. "Frank and Alice will be waiting for us."

"Lily –"

"After. We can talk afterwards." She promises him. "You grab your cloak, I have to pee."

He continues to gaze at her. She supposes he's debating whether or not to press the issue. "Fine." He finally says, turning back to their bedroom to grab his cloak.

This is better. I'll have more time to decide how to tell him. I might not even be right, I could start during the raid and all this worrying will have been for nothing.

Chicken

-J-3-L-

The raid hadn't taken nearly as long as Lily had expected.

After she and Alice had subdued the guards with stunners, James and Frank went in, wands waving. They followed their husbands after a moment, but there wasn't much to do. Only three wizards and one witch were inside the building and they weren't Death Eaters. They're definitely supporters of Voldemort, but not his most dangerous allies.

Two of the men were easily beaten; the third however had put his wand to the witch's throat, threatening to kill her if they came closer.

Lily has never before been in a hostage situation where she or James wasn't the hostage. Ordinarily, she wouldn't be too worried if an enemy threatened one of his colleagues, but the witch at his wand-tip had turned spy for The Order. She had tipped them off about this place and the illegal dealings going on inside.

They'd tried to save her. They did the best they could, but the wizard was cornered and desperate. James tried talking to him, tried to get him to let the woman go, while Frank circled around him, ready to pounce. The wizard caught on to their plan, though, and murdered the witch before turning his wand on himself. Luckily Frank got to him before he could take the easy way out, but the damage had already been done.

James conjured a blanket and wrapped the woman's lifeless and bloody body in it. None of them wanted to stare at her until the Ministry arrived. Her death had been gruesome and unnecessary. Just like every other death this war has brought about.

"I didn't even know her name." Lily says sadly, tears escaping her eyes.

"I think it was Ethel." Frank tells them, standing over the bloodstained blanket. "Alice, love, send word to the Ministry, they'll need to come and take this scum to Azkaban." He says gesturing to the unconscious murder bound at his feet.

Alice doesn't respond and all three of them look around at her. But she's not there. She had been standing with the tied up guards, making sure they didn't escape.

"Alice?" He calls, concerned.

"I'll go, you two stay here." Lily says, raising her wand as she heads back towards the entrance.

A retching sound reaches her ears from around the corner and she turns to see Alice's head stuck in the bushes, vomiting.

"Alice! Are you alright?" Lily asks, pulling her hair back from her face. She and Alice have been in many gruesome situations together over the last year and a half and Lily's never known her to have a weak stomach.

Alice nods and then after another round of vomiting, she sits back. "Sorry, Lily, I don't know what's come over me. I think I might have caught some kind of flu, I've been sick for days."

James finds them then, "Frank had to stay back and talk to the Ministry. We shouldn't be seen here, love." He tells Lily. He looks over to Alice, sitting down with her head between her knees. "Is she alright?"

"I think she has the flu." Lily explains. "She says she's been sick for days."

James nods, looking at her sympathetically. "Frank will be out in a moment, he just had to give his statement. They'll need yours as well, Alice." James reminds her.

Frank approaches them before Alice can reply and crouches down next to his wife. "Still sick? You seemed so much better this morning." He comments, putting his hand to her forehead.

"It was that man's cologne. It made my stomach turn, I don't know why." Alice admits and her face pales. She turns then and starts to vomit again into the bushes. Frank rubs her back soothingly, whispering that it'll be ok.

Lily smiles at the scene. It's nice to see that other people can be happy even in the middle of this war. It makes her feel less guilty for her own happiness with James.

Just then the wind shifts and she catches a whiff of the acrid smell of vomit coming from the bushes. Her stomach turns and she suddenly feels very queasy herself. She grabs James' arm and turns away from the scene, losing her lunch all over the sidewalk.

"Lily!" James says, pushing her hair back from her face. She can understand his concern. She's never been known to have a weak stomach either.

It hits her again, this time with no prompting, just extreme nausea. James continues to hold her hair and strokes her back, just like Frank had. She can almost feel his concern wafting over her.

Morning sickness. Her mind thinks it before she has time to stop it. It's not morning, though! But she isn't foolish enough to really believe that as an excuse. Everyone knows that morning sickness doesn't always come in the morning. I could have caught Alice's flu! But even that is a bad excuse, this is the first time in a week she's seen Alice and you don't catch the flu that quickly.

After a few moments of James fussing over her, she suggests that they go home. She doesn't feel nauseous anymore. She just doesn't want to deliver her news to him on this dodgy, rundown Muggle street with vomit on her clothing.

"I hope I didn't give you my virus." Alice tells her, sounding sad. "It's not very pleasant."

"It's alright, Alice. I'm sure I'll be fine. We'll see you lot at the Order meeting on Sunday."

James and Frank say their goodbyes before they disapparate to their back garden.

Should I be disapparating in my condition? Am I even in the condition I think I'm in? "And I have to pee." She doesn't realize she says the last one out loud until James is answering her.

"Let's get you inside, love. You can pee and change while I heat you up some soup and make some tea. You still look a bit pale." James says, keeping one hand on the small of her back and leading her into the house.

"That sounds lovely, thank you." She says, stopping in the downstairs loo before going upstairs to change.

-J-3-L-

"You should really drink some more water." James insists handing her the glass.

"I'm not thirsty!" She insists.

"You need to keep up on your fluids. I flooed Edgar while you were taking a nap and he suggests that you drink a ton of fluids and continue to rest. He said he could be here tomorrow morning if you still aren't feeling well."

Lily smiles at him as he fusses over her blankets. "I don't need any more fluids. I pee twenty times a day as it is." She says sadly. It had been going on for days, every half hour she has to pee.

James doesn't laugh but looks thoughtful for a second. "You know, my mum had something like that when I was a kid. She constantly had to pee all the time. It was a bladder infection or something. Maybe you have that?" He suggests.

She smiles at him. She hates making him worry, but she's honestly worried too and his fussing over her makes her feel slightly better. He deserves to know though. He shouldn't have to wait and let Edgar tell us. I should explain to him my theory. He'll be so angry if he thinks I was trying to hide it from him.

The lack of response from her conscious is all the confirmation she needs.

"It's not a bladder infection, James."

"You don't think?" He asks, taking a seat on the edge of their bed.

"No, I think it's something a little more permanent." Here goes nothing.

"Permanent? What do you mean permanent?" He asks, concerned.

She sits up, resting her back against their headboard. "I'm pregnant." She says bluntly.

She had planned out the words so carefully in her mind while she was in the shower. Each sentence down to the actual confession, but when her mouth opened, none of that came out. She tries to swallow now, her throat dry, as she waits for a reaction from him.

"Pregnant." He repeats, as if looking for confirmation.

Unable to speak, Lily just nods at him. James eyes immediately drop to her stomach, as if looking the tell-tale sign that he might have missed. The predictable gesture brings a smile to her lips.

"How long have you known?"

That isn't the reaction she was expecting. She looks at him curiously. Shouldn't he be freaking out? We agreed we don't want to become parents yet. Not until after the war. Shouldn't he panicking? That was the reaction she was waiting for, his panic. She wanted him to panic and say something stupid and then she'd yell at him and let out some of her own panic and fears. That's how it was supposed to go down. He wasn't supposed to just sit there and calmly stare at her, processing this information internally!

"I don't actually know. It's just… the only thing that fits." She explains to him, still shocked by his calm demeanor. "This morning I was writing Sirius' birthday party on the calendar in the kitchen when I noticed that it's the same day that I'm supposed to start my monthly. And, the more I thought about it, I couldn't remember actually having my period last month, meaning I'm two weeks late."

"But, doesn't that happen? It can be late, can't it?" James asks.

"For some women, yes. But I've always been regular. The dysmenorrhea potion that I take keeps me regular. That's why I was so confused. I should never be late, even by a day, let alone two weeks." She tells him.

"That's why you were counting the potions this morning?" Lily nods as an answer. "And why you were so upset that you had an extra." She nods again. "But we had the right amount of contraceptive potions?"

"Yes, only one left, for January. I already took December's on the first, like every other month."

"I don't understand." James says, helplessly. "It's never failed before, and it's not like it was a bad batch, because you would have been pregnant months ago." He reasons.

"Not necessarily." Lily tells him. "Some women take months to get pregnant, even while trying."

"So, you're saying we brewed it wrong?"

"No, I'm just saying it's a possibility."

"But you don't even know for certain that you are pregnant?" He confirms.

"No. But, I just have a feeling." She admits.

James doesn't respond to that, he just continues to stare at her stomach, as if it's suddenly going to grow before his eyes. "Are you sure it's not just the same flu Alice has?"

"It could be."

"But you don't think it is."

"No."

James runs his hands over his face, pushing his glasses up on the top of his head so he can rub his eyes with the heels of his palms. "So, vomiting, having to pee all the time, always being tired… those are all symptoms of being pregnant?"

Lily nods. "And the other night, remember how much my breasts hurt? I didn't want you touching them at all, when usually… well…" She blushes slightly. It's hard for her to talk about their love making in such a clinical way. "Tenderness in the breasts and nipples is another sign."

James replaces his glasses on his face and stands up. He starts to pace back and forth in front of their bed. "We should go to St. Mungo's." He finally says. "They can determine if you're pregnant or not, right?"

Lily shakes her head. "I don't want to go to St. Mungo's, James."

"Then what do you suggest, Lily?" He asks irritably.

"Edgar will be able to tell us, won't he?"

"You can wait until the morning to know for sure?" James asks, sounding disbelieving.

"I'm not the impatient one." She reminds him.

"This is a little different than waiting in line at a shop, Lily."

"I know!" She snaps. "I'm just as worried as you are, if not more! I've been struggling with this all day, imagine how that feels!"

"That's not fair!" He returns, stopping in his tracks to stare at her. "How am I supposed to know that you missed your monthly? I've been a wreck worrying that you've got some kind of weird, incurable flu and I come to find out that you've known all day that you might be pregnant. I'm still catching up here!" He thunders back.

"I couldn't wrap my head around it! I've been worried what to do, how to tell you, if I'm even right!" Lily stands up to face him. This is what she'd been expecting. This is what she needs, a good row with him to get her frustration and fears out.

"And don't you think I deserved to know? I would've helped you figure it out!"

"I don't need you to help me figure it out! I can think for myself, James!"

"Merlin, woman, you are so frustrating!" He yells.

She opens her mouth to send a cutting remark back at him, but the scent of orange peels reaches her nose and her stomach turns. "Lily?" James asks, seeing her face. "You ok?"

Lily shakes her head at him, covering her mouth with her hand and racing into their bathroom. She just makes it to the toilet before she starts retching.

"Merlin!" James says, and she feels him kneel down behind her and try to comfort her as she heaves into the bowl.

"It's the smell, that stupid orange blossom candle."

James looks puzzled, but understanding dawns on him. "The one in the hallway?" He asks. "Hold on."

He gets up before she can protest. She already misses his comforting presence behind her. "Alright, it's taken care of. You shouldn't be able to smell it anymore." He assures her, returning to his position, kneeling on the floor behind her.

She nods, sitting back, relaxing against his strong chest. "Thank you." She whispers.

He moves his hand up to push back her sweaty hair that had fallen from her messy plait. "How do you feel?"

"Better." She says, honestly. "Not really nauseous anymore, a little hungry actually."

James chuckles. "You should lie down. I'll get you something to eat."

As he helps her back to the bed, she smiles, their fight from just minutes before completely forgotten. "I'm going to make you some toast from Muffin Man's bread, that should settle your stomach some." He stands up and gives her a mischievous smile. "I actually don't know if that's true or not, it just sounds like something my mum would've said."

Lily chuckles. "It's true, and that sounds amazing. Maybe some of Bathilda's homemade jam, too?" She suggests.

James nods. "Anything, love." He promises and gives her a kiss on her forehead before heading downstairs.

She smiles to herself. She's still worried, and she knows they'll need to have a proper conversation about everything, but she's glad that they both could blow off a little steam first. It should make the actual discussion a lot easier.

-J-3-L-

"We just have to wait until Edgar tells us one way or the other. Once we have our answer, then we should talk about what it means." James suggests later that night while they're lying in bed facing each other.

She agrees with him, that's probably the most sensible thing to do. But, she can't stop thinking about it. She can't imagine that she isn't pregnant, all the signs are there.

"I just don't understand how." James says softly. He chuckles a moment later and adds, "Well, actually, I do know how." Lily smacks his arm slightly, but can't help the laugh that comes out. Trust him to make their worry into a sexual joke. "We should probably have about a hundred babies by now, at the rate we go at it." He continues.

They fall silent for a few minutes, both lost in thought. Lily can't help herself from thinking about the Marital Future Potion and the photos of that adorable baby boy. The potion didn't give her any exact time-frame for when she and James would start their family. Could I currently be carrying our son?

"James?" She whispers. His eyes snap back to hers, she seemingly pulled him from some far off place. "I don't know if I can wait until morning to know." She confesses.

"Me either. I wish there was a spell that we could do, or that the apothecaries were be open so we could buy a pregnancy detection potion."

Lily smiles, glad that they seem to be on the same page. "Did you know that Muggles take a test to determine if they're pregnant?" She asks him.

"A test? What kind of test?"

"I'm not exactly sure how it works. I've only ever seen the box." Lily explains. "It was an advert on the telly. My mum and I were watching this silly movie, but that doesn't matter. I just know they sell them in Muggle stores and they're supposed to detect pregnancy ten days after your missed period, mine was fourteen days ago."

"Well that settles it." James says. Lily watches as he gets up out of bed and heads for their wardrobe without even waiting for her confirmation. It's not until he's pulling a jumper on that she understands him.

"You're going into the village?"

"Of course." He tells her, stepping into jeans. "Neither of us is going to sleep tonight if we don't know for sure, you don't want to go to St. Mungo's, we can't floo Edgar this late, and neither of us knows how to brew a pregnancy detection potion. That leaves us with one option, the Muggle way." He shrugs, picking up his cloak.

"Well then I better get dressed, can't go wandering out in my pajamas." She says, getting up from bed.

"No, you stay and relax. I'll be back before you know it."

"You're not going without me." She tells him.

"It's freezing outside, Lily."

"You aren't going without me." She says, using her stern voice. "Besides, you don't even know what you're looking for, you need me."

A small grin spreads across his face. "Well, I can't argue with that." He says shaking his head, tossing her a pair of her jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt.

"Do you think they'll have them at Zelda's store?" She asks, pulling off her night dress and pulling up her jeans.

"No idea." He admits, bringing her over a jumper. "Here, put this on, love."

Lily adjusts the jumper over her shirt and feels another jumper being tossed at her. She looks up questioningly at James, but his back is to her pulling out scarves and gloves from their wardrobe.

"James?" She asks, wondering what on earth he's doing.

"Yes, love?" He asks, not turning around.

"What are you doing?"

"Like I said, it's freezing out there, you need to bundle up." He tells her, coming over and pulling the oversized jumper down over her head. "Can't have you getting cold now can we." He says to her stomach in that special voice that everyone reserves for babies and puppies.

Lily beams as he pats her still flat stomach and picks up an abandoned scarf. She doesn't argue with him as he wraps it around her neck and fastens her cloak for her. She can't help finding his behavior adorable. Her thoughtful, doting husband is already proving to be a good father and they aren't even sure if she's pregnant yet.

"Ready?" He asks, pulling on his own gloves.

"Yeah, let's go." She replies, unable to stop smiling.

The walk into town is uneventful. Both Lily and James are lost in thought, completely preoccupied by the possibility of being parents.

When they reach the town square they head immediately for the pharmacy owned by a kind woman named Zelda. The shop is dark, as are the ones next to it. "It's after eleven, James." Lily says sadly. "We should have expected it to be closed." She can't believe neither of them had thought of that.

"Well, that's why you married a Marauder." He reminds her, wiggling his eyebrows and pulling the Invisibility cloak from his pocket.

"What do you expect to do?"

"We'll just use a few unlocking charms, get in, get the test, and lock up behind ourselves."

"And how are going to pay for it?" Lily asks, not at all happy about breaking into such a sweet woman's shop and stealing from her.

"I'll leave some Muggle money in the till." He promises.

Lily doesn't really like the idea, but she can't think of a better way. "We'll leave extra." Lily reasons, trying to justify it in her mind. It's not really stealing, they're over-paying.

"Right, let's get a move on." James says, throwing the cloak over both their heads.

It's surprisingly easy for them to get in the store, an unlocking charm to the main entrance is all it took, but finding the test however is proving to be far more difficult.

"Are we even in the right aisle?" James whispers, looking around at all the feminine care items with slight disgust.

"Yes, they're right here." Lily says pointing to the shelf she's been eyeing. "I'm just not sure which one is the most accurate." She explains.

James picks up one of each of the three brands that Zelda's store carries. "We'll get two of each, just in case." He tells her, his hands overflowing with the boxes.

"James, that really wont' be necessary." She rolls her eyes at him as she starts putting boxes back on the shelves. "One of each is just fine."

James nods his head seriously. "If you say so, now let's stop up at the till so I can drop the money off. I want to get home quickly."

Lily watches him slide two hundred pounds into the slit under the till before he leads her back towards the door. It makes her feel slightly better that they over-paid so much. She knows that when Zelda opens up tomorrow she'll be astounded by the extra cash and three missing pregnancy tests, but hopefully she won't cause a fuss about it.

"I think you have to pee into this test tube." James tells Lily, reading over the instructions on the box of Predictor very carefully.

"No, I just have to pee in this cup and pour a little bit into each of these tubes. Then we wait." Lily reads.

"Two hours!" James exclaims as he gets to that part. "Muggles sure like to take their time!"

"To them I'm sure that's quick."

"Do you have to pee?"

Lily looks a little disgruntled as she shakes her head. "Of course not, first time in the last bloody week that I don't have to pee at all."

James chuckles. "Alright, I'm going to make you some tea, you set these up so that when you do have to pee we'll be ready."

He kisses the top her head softly and makes his way downstairs, putting on the kettle on before taking a seat at the counter. He needed a moment alone to think. Pregnant. Lily could be pregnant.

He'd be lying if he said part of him wasn't at least a little bit excited. Sure, he's surprised and confused and really fucking terrified, but he's also excited. He knows they aren't really ready for kids and that it isn't the right time at all, but he can't help picturing it. A child. Their child. Lily's child.

"James!" Lily calls down to him.

"Yes, love?"

"I think this one is broken!" She calls but he can barely hear her over the screeching of the kettle. He quickly pours them both a cup and drops the tea bags in before heading back upstairs.

"What's wrong?" He asks her, handing her a mug.

"This one, the tubes got a crack in it, think that'll matter?"

James shrugs. "No idea, we can repair it, but I'm not sure if that will mess with the stuff inside."

Lily sighs. "We'll try it. If it doesn't work we still have the other two tests."

James nods and waves his wand, repairing the vial. "We'll see." He tells her, picking his mug back up and taking a sip.

They sit in silence for nearly twenty minutes before Lily jumps up. "I think I have to pee." She announces.

"Are you sure?" James asks, racing to follow her into the bathroom.

"Yes. But I can't do it if you're going to watch me!" She admonishes.

He wants to protest, but decides against it, some things are better kept private, watching your spouse pee in a cup is one of them.

He paces back and forth in front of the door, waiting for her to finish. It takes nearly five agonizing minutes before she finally opens the door again.

"Bring me those vials."

James follows her instruction immediately, carefully levitating the vials and setting them softly down onto the bathroom counter. "You pour I shake?" Lily asks.

James nods and begins pour the correct amount of her pee into each of the three test vials.

"That should do it." Lily says, after shaking up the last vial. "Now we wait."

A/N: Dun, Dun, Dun! (Kind of)

(Soap Opera Narrator's Voice)

Is Lily pregnant? Does she have some rare flu that only make it look like she's pregnant? Is it possible that she isn't really Harry's mother?

Find out in the next exciting chapter of Thrice Defied!

Couldn't help using the Soap Opera Narrator's voice… It's been so long since I've used it!

I want to do a quick shout out to Viking529 who has been very patient with me and has waited long enough for this update! Thank you for all your encouragement, even if I didn't reply right away, I did get them all and do appreciate it. You, and readers like you, make this all the more rewarding. Thank you!

Thoughts, feedback, and reviews are always welcome and appreciated.