Last chapter guysssssssssss. Oh my God I can't believe his story is ending! And I have to say that it ends in a sad tone cause this last chapter is really sad to be honest. At least till it comes to the end. This one is dedicated to two guest reviewers named MCRfan4ever and Always-Jade. The song I'm gonna use is My blood by Ellie Goulding. Sad song and…. Guess what? We're gonna end this story with Jade's POV yay! Really I mean it I don't hate Beck's POV I really love it but this one is really supposed to be Jade's POV her own feelings. So… yeah you'll see…

MCRfan4ever and Always-Jade thank you for reviewing and I hope you like the story. It's the last one and it's dedicated to you!

My blood by Ellie Goulding

Jade's POV

Well I'm not gonna apologize you know… I promised I would never do this again but that was before we broke up. Now I'm free to do whatever I want.

So yeah…

I cut myself again.

I don't care if you judge or anything. I did it cause I needed it. And no I don't regret it. I don't feel any shame… I feel… disturbed in some way. He forbade me to express myself. And even though I know it's not the healthiest way to express myself he made me play by his way and put his rules IN MY OWN LIFE. Fuck this. I take a deep breath and sit on the ground. I'm not in my house of course. I couldn't risk it. My brother could see me. I'm… out. You know the place I hate… It leads in the ocean. So yeah…

I'm on the cliffs.

That feeling that doesn't go away just did and it's funny cause I walked a thousand miles just to prove it. And here I am now… I'm caught in the crossfire of my own thoughts. Thoughts about him. Thoughts that shouldn't exist. Still they do, making everything go blank. No, not everything. Cause the color of my blood is all I see on the rocks. And I press myself to think what I'm gonna be now as you sail from me.

Why do I feel so dizzy? It's not like I haven't done this before. I've done it numerous times. Beck made me count them for him. He made me promise I wouldn't do it again as many times as those that I cut myself in the past. Okay I think I need to lie down. My blood seems so dark. I think I like it. It's a familiar red. The one that…

Are those noises real? Did I fall asleep? Alarms… Alarms will ring for eternity. Why are there alarms in the ocean? When did all the red rocks go away? No, let me go back to the ocean. Cause as much as I'm afraid the waves will break every chain on me. My bones will bleach and my flesh will flee. I hear voices. They seem panicked. What a weird dream… I think I hear Beck's worried voice say something like:

"She doesn't breath damn it. Help her" or something like that… Whatever…

Wait… I really have difficulty to breath… So weird dream. It seems like I'm in an ambulance. That's really funny. I've never been in an ambulance. Are there doctors out there? Come in cause Beck thinks that I am in trouble. It's a dream so try to come fast and give me what he thinks I need. Although he doesn't understand that what I really need is not oxygen or painkillers or morphine. All I need is him. Just him. He is my oxygen, my own painkiller, my morphine. So help my lifeless frame to breathe Beck. You're the only one you can help me not those idiots.

"What did you say?" I hear him say. Is he speaking to me? He can't. I guess he asks something at those stupid doctors. Why do I have to dream about useless doctors? I could see way more interesting things…

My eyelids open just a little bit and I see red. Just red. Red everywhere. And God knows I'm not dying but I bleed now. It was a little cut for Christ's shake. Why do they act like I'm dying? Well who cares… It's a dream in the end. I cut myself and God knows it's the only way to heal now. The only way to stop the pain. Kill the pain with more pain. Yeah that's a good matra. Oh Beck with all the blood I lost with you it drowns the love I thought I knew. The one you always promised to give me with all your will and heart.

Lies.

Why don't I wake up anyway? I'm bored now. This has no interest. So what? I'm bleeding. Ok big news. Wake up now. I want one of my usual dreams. The lost dreams that are now buried in my sleep for him. The sweet dreams that now are turned to nightmares. And this was the ecstasy of a love forgotten.

I feel a pressure on my arm and… am I moving? Oh please tell me the waves didn't come up the cliff… I'm so stupid, the cliffs are so high… water can't reach their top. Why am I moving then? Oh wake up already… But I don't move and I feel like I'm thrown in the gunfire of empty bullets. And my blood is all I see… oh wait no I see something else too. It's… a face. Beck's face. Your face…

"Jade can you hear me?" you ask and I can't respond. Speak idiot. Tell him to go away. To leave you alone. Is it raining? I feel water on my face….

"Please babe don't cry" you beg and I freeze. I cry? I shouldn't cry! I've forbade myself to do that in front of you. But there's nothing I can do so I close my eyes and meet the dark as you steal my soul from me with one last hurt look.

"Jade?" I hear my name and I move my finger "Are you awake? Can you open your eyes?" I try to obey to… oh I don't know who it is but I do try to obey to this stranger and I slowly open my eyes. At first everything is dark, then white, then I blink and I see a man's face.

"Where am I?" I whisper although his white robe tells me the truth before it can be spoken. Hospital. But why?

"Are you feeling ok? You're at the hospital"

"Why?" I ask and he frowns a little bit seeming confused.

"You don't remember?"

"Actually no…" I answer honestly and he writes something down.

"Well Jade West… You committed suicide" he announces. WHAT?

"I… What? What are you talking about?" I ask confused and he blinks.

"Did you or didn't you cut yourself to death?" he asks and I shake my head.

"I did cut myself. It's a thing I do. That I used to do. But not to death. Never to death. I didn't commit suicide" I respond and he writes another thing down. Is he gonna tell me or should I get up and threaten him to tell me?

"Well, it seems that you went way far out of control Mrs. West. Not that I approve of this cutting thing in general but speaking of this situation…you could have died"

"I didn't commit suicide" I almost shout and then it's when Beck gets in the room "What are you doing here?" I ask and he looks at me confused.

"Oh she's fine doc. She is her usual arrogant, bitchy self. She's gonna be fine" he comments and with a nod and a meaningful look at Beck the doctor gets out of the hospital.

"You didn't answer to my question" I say and he sits on my bed making me frown.

"Well… since I found you bleeding uncontrollably on the cliffs, I decided to save your life cause you don't seem to be strong enough to do so by yourself"

"I don't need your help. In any way. And I didn't commit suicide damn it. I didn't do it"

"Then how did you end up here?" he asks with a harsh look and I huff.

"I just went a little bit out of control" I say and he seems furious.

"A little bit? YOU ALMOST DIED JADE! I can't believe how irresponsible you are. You promised me damn it! You promised you would never do that again! You can't understand how worried I got" he says loudly and I bit my lip to stop myself from shouting at him.

"Ok first I didn't die. I wouldn't die"

"You were unconscious. If I hadn't found you, you would have died out of bleeding"

"Don't interrupt me ok? Ok I'm not irresponsible. Trying to ease my pain isn't considered irresponsible"

"Ease your pain? By dying?"

"Fuck Beck I didn't die and stop interrupting me! And I promised to not cut myself before we broke up. We broke up. We're not together anymore. And why do you worry so much anyway? You should have thrown a party for my death so that then you would be free without any obstacles and troubles from my existence"

"Are you hearing what you're saying? I can't believe you. Really Jade… You dying would send me to grave too not some fancy, you're-free-to-act party"

"Stop lying"

"You stop lying. Just admit you love me as much as I do"

"I don't. And if you did love me you wouldn't have broken up with me"

"It was a fucking decision I made and I said I am sorry. I love you. And I know you do too but you are too stubborn to admit it"

"I'm not stubborn and I don't love you"

"Then why did you cut yourself? And why all those –you are the one I need- in the ambulance? You just don't have the nerves to admit it. Say it Jade and everything will be like it used to be"

"Nothing will be like it used to be" I whisper and he looks at me.

"Stop acting childish. What you did was unacceptable. You shouldn't cut yourself. Ever"

"You can't take decisions for my own life"

"It's my life too so I do have to take decisions for you when you're not willing or able to take them on your own"

"This discussion doesn't have any meaning"

"Oh it does. It really does believe me" he takes my face in his and presses his lips on mine. What a fool I am. I don't even resist. I'm such a loser. Weak "Now get some rest and when you are ready we're gonna get out of here" he says after he ends the kiss. I frown "Yeah don't think that this has passed with no treatment. The doctors will force you take some pills, visit a psychologist or something. And I will always have my eyes on you. Don't you ever forget that" he says and I roll my eyes.

"Yes sir" I tease ad he smiles lightly.

"I missed you. Now get some sleep. You're still weak" he kisses my forehead and gets out of the room. Yeah I know Beck… I'm weak. So weak. And helpless.

And in love… With you…

THE END

I have to say a huge thanks to every single person that read my story. All those who followed and favorited them. But most of all, all of you who gave me all those wonderful reviews. You guys are the best and I really don't know how to thank you enough for all this love and support. Every time you made me feel so happy with your comments and you motivated me with your kind words and your excitement for the upcoming chapters. Thank you thank you thank you.

This story wouldn't be anywhere without you.

I love you all.

Sincerely, asian fusion-tike aka the biggest fan of you all!