Disclaimer: I do not own any song lyrics or characters. I do own the changes or exclusions that I made. The songs belong to Jamestown Story and Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.
A/N: The next chapters for my other stories will be up soon. I was informed by a reviewer that disclaimers do not cut it and the story could be deleted if not addressed, so see my disclaimer for the band. The story is simply written with the lyrics. I own nothing but the story.
R. I. P. Alan
I Miss You…
All was silent in Konoha's cemetery that day. None of us could believe that Naruto, so young and full of life, could have killed himself. It had been only yesterday that he had done it. When people finally noticed that he was gone, Kiba and Akamaru led the search party. When we found him, naked and covered in blood, we were confused. Was he attacked? If he was ambushed, why was he naked? I knelt down and dampened his shirt in the pond, wiping him down. When I saw his newly-made scars, I gasped. Tsunade stepped forward to see what was wrong, and turned white. She knelt down, taking the shirt from me, and continued to wipe him off. The clearing was deathly silent. When she finished with his face, we could all see everything that was there. 'Monster' and 'demon' were carved into his skin. He had three vertical slashes on each cheek, going through the horizontal ones he had always had. Suddenly, Tsunade stood and whirled around to face the crowd. "Which one?" she snarled, brokenly. "Which of you cowards hurt my gaki?" I looked up and saw the majority of the crowd pale. A few minutes passed. "Fine. Don't tell me. I will just get your chakra signatures from his body. And believe me. There will be hell to pay."
"B-but Tsunade-sama! We only hurt him! We didn't kill him!" I looked at the speaker, enraged to see our third team member, Sakura. While Tsunade ranted, I continued to clean him up.
"Tsunade…" I couldn't believe it. I needed her to confirm it for me.
"What?" she looked. "Oh God." She checked, and it was true. He had killed himself. I looked away, unable to see any more damage. And I saw the scroll. I slowly got up and walked over to it, looking at no one. I picked it up and unrolled it, unsure of what I would find.
Yesterday was full of tears, knowing death has just been here
All was lost but not forgot, the pain controls my every thought
A new day's battle has begun, all was lost and nothing's won
I can't wait to see the day, when the tears all go away...
Reading his note finally broke me. I cried as I read his goodbye.
'Konoha, I know that you hate me. But I still care about all of you. So I forgive you. Konohamaru, keep your promise. I won't be Hokage, so you need to be. Kohaku, be strong for me. Don't fall apart. Baa-chan, don't punish the villagers. All they did was injure a monster. It isn't their fault. At first I thought suicide was selfish; then I remembered that I was unwanted anyway. Oh, Kyuu has something to say as well.'
Then, in thicker, messier handwriting, the note continued. 'Konoha, the Kit may have forgiven you, but I have not. The only reason I haven't tried to hurt you back was because he didn't want me to. The reason I attacked Konoha all those years ago was because you killed my mate and kits. I adopted this Kit and you tried to do the same thing. The only reason you didn't kill him was because you didn't want to free me. What you didn't know was that when Kit dies, I die too…'
A short way down the page, the note continued in Naruto's usual handwriting. 'Sakura was never the one I loved. I just didn't want to be even more discriminated against. It was always the damn teme. But no one, let alone an Uchiha, could ever love a monster. And I know that. And Kyuu didn't make me do it, I begged him to let me; I was always meant to die. Bye Konoha.'
And today was his funeral.
I miss you, I kissed you, when we laid you in your grave
I need you, to believe you, things were meant to be this way…
Tsunade was the one who bathed and dressed him. She refused to cover the scars, wanting the village to see what they had done to him. And it hurt. Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro came all the way from Suna for the funeral. Only they, the other seven of the Rookie Nine, Kohaku, Tsunade, Konohamaru, Iruka, Kakashi, Jiraya, and I went to the memorial. Seventeen people. Out of everyone in Konoha, we were the only ones. For the actual funeral, Tsunade required the whole town to attend. Everyone had to see what they had put him through. When I got dressed this morning, I had decided, fuck the Uchiha crest. I went to his house and gathered all of his clothing. They still smelled like him. Like Naruto. And I wore the Uzumaki crest to the funeral. Before the lid to his casket was closed, Tsunade had everyone look at him and his now-marred face. They paraded by; I was last in line. When I reached him, I leaned over a pressed a light kiss to his forehead. The seventeen of us who actually mourned him stood in a line in front of his casket. We laid roses of various colors inside, trying to brighten up his unnaturally pale skin. As it was finally lowered, we each threw in our handful of soil and cried.
Today came with shattered dreams, everything's not what it seems
Don't think death won't come get you, 'cause it will life's misconstrued
Though my battle's just begun, I'm dropping arms and going to run
I can't wait to see the day, when these painful tears all go
Away….
Ino pulled me into a hug. I stiffened, but then she whispered, "I'm not fangirling Sasuke-kun. I am so, so sorry." After a moment, I pulled away.
"Uchiha?" Tsunade's eyes were red-rimmed, and I knew that she had been crying. "Is there any particular reason that you are wearing Naruto's clothes, rather than your own?" I self-consciously pulled the collar closer to me.
"I miss him." At that particular moment, a few of the villagers who caused this decided to start yelling.
"Why are you all so sad? The monster is dead! We don't have to worry about him or the damn fox anymore! We should be celebrating!" They were obviously drunk, sake bottles in their hands. Murmurs of agreement ran through the crowd. I opened my mouth, but we were all shocked to hear Hinata protest first, stutter completely gone.
"You BASTARDS!" she shouted, tears rolling down her face. "It wasn't enough to torture Naruto-kun while he was alive, now you have to ruin his funeral as well? You don't know when to stop, do you?" Everyone was stunned. Not only had she momentarily lost her stutter, but she had shouted. She dissolved into sobs, slumping toward the ground, before Neji caught her.
Kohaku said, brokenly, "If you aren't going to mourn onii-chan, leave. Just…leave." And almost the entire crowd left. She turned to me. "Sasu…" She began sobbing again, and I pulled her close.
I miss you, I kissed you, when we laid you in your grave
I need you, to believe you, things were meant to be this way…
After a while, everyone began to quiet down and scatter. Even Kohaku went back to the apartment she and Naruto had shared. I was left alone at his newly covered grave. Once I was alone, I finally let myself go. I cried. I cried for my best friend's death, for his pain, the life he had, the life he had never had a chance to live. When I had cried all of the tears I possessed, I still didn't leave. I couldn't.
I miss you, I kissed you, when we laid you in your grave
I need you, to believe you, things were meant to be this way…
I sat there for hours. I talked to him, telling him about Hinata's outburst and Kohaku's rage. I told him about Tsunade's red-rimmed eyes and the drunk men. I told him how stupid he was, leaving me alone like this. I didn't matter that he couldn't hear me. It didn't matter at all. For once, I was the one talking, telling him stories. Not the one listening. When it looked as if it were about to rain, I whispered, "I'll be right back dobe." I ran to the mansion and grabbed the biggest umbrella I could find. I ran back and put it behind his headstone, leaning over it to protect it from the rain. I told him I would be back tomorrow and slowly plodded back to my house and into my bedroom.
I did nothing at all, nothing at all, it's all my fault you're gone
Your face on my wall, face on my wall, it tells it all, you will live on…
It's my fault, I know it is. I knew that they hurt him, they abused him, but I didn't stop it. I didn't do a damn thing. The pictures of the two of us on my bedroom walls, smiling and laughing, make me feel like a traitor. And when he began acting differently around me recently, I just thought he was mad at me about something. I never thought…
I did nothing at all, nothing at all, it's all my fault you're gone
Your face on my wall, face on my wall, it tells it all, you will live on...
It had never occurred to me that the dobe would love me. I hope that, wherever he is, he saw that kiss to his forehead. "Dobe, did it ever occur to you that I might love you, too?"