Kenny's Kitten

By Shadowgate

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A/N: I Matthew Carsten Voss 'Riley' hereby dedicate this fan fiction story to my new kitten Butterscotch.

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Carol McCormick came in at 9PM with a kitten meowing in her hand. Kenny and Karen came out of their rooms to see what she had.

Kenny asked "mom where'd you get the kitten?"

Carol explained that she found it abandoned and screaming in the yard and she figured it was hungry. It soon became obvious that the kitten got separated from the mother somehow.

They rounded up blankets and some crates to keep the kitten in. Kenny and Karen were excited to have a new kitten in the house for a pet.

Karen asked "can we keep it? Can we?"

Carol said "we'll let it stay the night."

At 3AM Carol McCormick got up because the kitten was meowing and she took it outside. Kenny heard everything and followed her out. He asked what she was doing and she explained to him she hoped the mother cat would come after hearing the kitten meow.

The mother cat didn't return and Kenny felt bad about the kitten being separated from the mother.

The next day in class Kenny told Kyle and Stan all about the new kitten. Cartman and Wendy were fighting over whether Romney would make a better president than Obama.

When Kenny got home he had milk and cookies and a shower. All that meth money his parents made came in handy because they were able to clean up their house and get indoor plumbing.

Kenny went and saw Karen holding the kitten.

Karen said "mom said we can keep it and there's a vet open this weekend where she'll take her for her checkup and shots."

Kenny yelled "who hoo!"

Kenny held the kitten and began cuddling her.

Later that night Kenny said "mom the kitten needs a name."

Carol said "how about Butterscotch? I grew up in a neighborhood with an orange tabby named Butterscotch."

Kenny said "okay" and after that Stuart McCormick said "hey you didn't butter my bread last night I had to do it myself oh and I'd sure love a glass of scotch."

Carol got pissed and told Stuart to go in the bedroom.

Stuart said "I will but I'm sure I won't get any."

Carol screamed "well you can go jack off to Playboy Magazines you fucking asshole!"

Stuart flipped off his wife and went into the bedroom.

That night Kenny went to bed and kitten wanted out of a crate that Kenny's mom put him in and so he took the cat out. The cat slept with him that night and he was so happy.

The next day at the bus stop Kenny had a big smile on his face.

Stan asked "Kenny what are you so happy about?"

Kenny replied "well Stan you have a dog named Sparky, Cartman has a cat, and Kyle well he once had a fucking elephant now I finally have a cat."

Cartman joked "well you live on the poor side of town where stray cats get dumped you may as well have claimed one."

Kenny said "we claimed this kitten because the mother got separated from her."

Cartman said "well good for you Kenny."

Stan asked "does your cat sleep with you, your sister, or your brother?"

Kenny explained that on the first night they found her the cat slept with Karen but last night he got to sleep with the cat.

Cartman told Kenny he should smack the cat on the head and say "no kitty that's a bad kitty you sleep on the floor"

After that Kenny punched Cartman in the nose as hard as he could.

Cartman had a huge nose bleed and Kyle and Stan put their arms around him and said they would walk him to the nurse's office when they got to school. Of course on the bus they sat behind him and took turns slapping him on the back of the head and telling him animal abuse is wrong.

When they got into the nurse's office Cartman said "excuse me my friends here have brought me to the clinic because my nose is bleeding."

The nurse was shocked and asked what happened? Cartman wouldn't say and Kyle and Stan both put their hands on his shoulders. Stan whispered "relax Cartman you've suffered for your stupid comment."

Deep down Cartman was fucking pissed off but he knew he couldn't take down both Stan and Kyle at once.

After the three left the nurse's office they went to Mister Garrison's class.

Mister Garrison said "oh well Eric I heard Kenny gave you a nose bleed because you told him he should smack his cat. I'll tell you Eric you just love to get on people's nerves."

At that time Eric Cartman said "how would you like to suck my balls Mister Garrison?"

After that Mister Garrison pulled his pants down and said to Eric "how do you like me now Eric Cartman? I'm mooning you Eric!"

The whole class was in shock.

Kenny got home at 3:20 PM and started playing with his kitten. While he was getting food the kitten went into a hole behind the wall and Kenny flipped. He thought he'd lost a kitten he'd just gained.

He grabbed a flashlight and he could see the kitten. He was on his knees about ready to cry but 15 minutes later the kitten came out and he was able to grab it.

Kenny hugged the kitten and put the kitten on his bed. They both took a nap together.

That night he explained to his mom what happened and he along with Karen made it clear this kitten should not be let loose. Kenny's mom explained to him that loud music he played along with the screaming in the house is what scared the kitten.

Kenny had taken an interest in groups like Cannibal Corpse, Suicidal Angels, and Manowar. Every time he thinks back to when he went to that Jonas Brothers Concert he smacks himself in the head even though he did it for a pretty girl in hopes of getting sucked off.

Over the weekend Carol McCormick took the kitten to the vet. The kitten weighed one pound and was only four to six weeks old and the vet informed them the kitten was a male.

Karen and Kenny were surprised as was Carol she said she couldn't get over it.

Stuart asked "why the hell was it hard for you all to tell?"

Carol answered "a kitten that small has a small penis just like you Goddamn it!"

Stuart called his wife a "fucking bitch" and then he went into the bedroom and slammed the door behind him.

The following Monday Kenny was playing soccer on the playground. All of the sudden an armed robbery suspect who was trying to escape Park County Police flew off the road and into the playground. Kenny McCormick was crushed to death under the car and then the car blew up.

Stan said "Oh My God they killed Kenny."

Kyle yelled "you bastards!"

Kenny woke up in his bed at 3PM and Butterscotch was there. Even though he just came back to life Kenny figured "why not go to bed with the kitten" and they both had an afternoon nap.

THE END