Time traveller wanted:

WANTED: Somebody to go back in time with me. This is not a joke. P.O. Box 322 Oakview, CA 93022. You'll get paid after we get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before.

It all begins when Dean sees an ad in one of the national newspapers. He'd been heading through California at the time after driving across country to take Sam to a Dodger's game.

He adores road trips with his brother, not that he'd ever tell Sam that. He grumps as Sam begs to go to a rock concert, or a baseball game, but little Sammy knows his big brother loves to head out across country with him too.

Sam's fifteen, gangly and awkward. He's had an early growth spurt and is almost as tall as Dean now. He's thin though, like a birch tree, with a mop of dark hair.

"Check it out Sammy." He slides the paper over to his little bro (always little no matter how tall he gets).

Sam rolls his eyes, he knows Dean's sense of humour all too well, but he reads regardless.

He smirks. "That's awesome."

"Wanna check it out?"

Dean raises his eyebrows as Sam shakes his head in amusement.

"Dad will kill us. I've already missed three days of school."

Dean doesn't really care, Sam's bright enough to miss a whole semester and still ace everything.

"How often you gonna get a chance like this Sammy?"

He scribbles his message, posts it immediately, smug smile on his face. It takes only till the next morning to receive a message back. His phone goes while he's in the shower.

They're staying in a rundown, rotten motel just on the edge of the city. Out the window he can see the mountains in the distance, beautiful and remote.

Dean opens his phone and calls his answerphone at the sight of the flashing icon. Sam rouses as he sits down, brow furrowed.

"What is it?"

"Message from the time traveller." Dean wants to smile but he can't quite make himself. Hearing the guy's voice makes it all too real. It's not the voice of a man joking, he's deadly serious.

"Are we going to meet him?" Sam bounces out of bed, all long legs and messy hair.

Dean shrugs, "Yeah." 'Why not' his mind asks. It's not like they've anything to loose. It wouldn't be the first time the Winchester brothers had done something stupid and reckless.

They've been known to follow circuses over northern America, disappear into Canada to see if they can track down Grizzly bears. Dean's ranched in Texas and taken Sam to the natural history museum in New York. He's slept on the steps of the Washington Monument till he was moved on and camped in Washington state.

How is finding a time traveller any different?

He puts on a smile and grabs his jacket. "You overslept," he smirks. "Shower or breakfast Sammy, your choice."

The kid's smarter than that though. He opts for a shower and looks smug as Dean hands him a paper bag when they meet by the car later.

Dean's phone goes off as they climb in and Sam rips into the pastry Dean's brought him.

"Is it him?"

"No."

Dean doesn't answer the call. He silences it and stuffs it back in his pocket.

"Dad?" Sam guesses. The kid is good.

"I'll call him when I know how long we're going to be."

"We should have gone back."

Dean notices the way he says 'should have'. In Sam's mind it's already too late. He laughs at his little brother and puts his father out his head. There'll be hell to pay later but so what, it isn't the first time.

"How about we get him to drop us back last Friday?"

"Then dad doesn't even have to know," Sam laughs.

His brother is easy to make laugh. Sam's still got that childlike ability to flick between emotions in the blink of an eye.

It's a days drive into the mountains to get to where they're to meet the time traveller. The twisting roads and steep drops mean that by the time they reach Lake Tahoe twilight is falling.

Dean pulls up close to the lake side. There's a motel on the road but he'd wanted to see the lake first.

This late the water looks black. The low sun glints off the smooth surface throwing off beams of light. Above them the sky in a deep orange with an aura of pink.

He smiles as Sam lets out a wondered gasp.

"Dean!" he says running to the water's edge on the rocky shore.

Dean wanders up behind him feeling truly peaceful. Not even his dad could ruin his mood when Sam smiles like that.

"I'm glad we came," Sam looks over his shoulder.

"Me too Sammy."

Dean watches the sky darken as the sun's rays disappear. As the light goes he notices a bonfire to their far left. He's curious. Somebody once told Dean that curiosity killed the cat. He gets their meaning but he never could help himself.

Half way to the fire he sees a solitary figure bent over a box of equipment. Scattered around are various pieces of broken technology. Dean is good at fixing most anything from cars to televisions but this looks beyond him.

"Can I help?" he asks the man as he throws his screwdriver down in annoyance.

"No, Dean," the man growls still intent on the contraption at his feet.

Dean's taken aback, the guy knows his name. He knows he shouldn't poke at sleeping bears but he's never been that clever or restrained. "How do you know who I am?"

The man turns and stands in one graceful motion. He gives Dean a look that's only one step below rolling his eyes. Eyes which are a stunning electric blue even in the dying light.

"Because I am very smart. And also psychic."

Dean frowns and the man actually does roll his eyes this time. "Because you are Dean Winchester. And that is Sam. You answered my ad."

Dean feels himself colour, of course this man is their time traveller.

The man is about the same height as Sam, but he is bigger, more athletic, like he's a rock climber or a cyclist. Perfectly slim but strong compared to Sam's teenage lankiness.

Dean swallows self-consciously. He shouldn't be noticing that, not about some guy he's just met in the middle of nowhere. Worse, some guy who's probably a complete whack job based off all available evidence.

"Oh hey, yeah. Didn't expect you to be here this late. We were just going to grab a motel for the night but Sammy wanted to see the lake."

The man sets him with his incredible blues. It's as if almost all colour has been pulled from the world but those eyes retain the last of it.

"Of course. The view is... stunning."

Dean swallows again, unsure exactly why the man bothers him so much. And how that doesn't exactly feel like a bad thing.

"Yeah very pretty," he grunts distractedly. "And you are?"

The time traveller turns, offers a hand. "My name is Cas." He nods toward his outstretched hand when Dean doesn't immediately take it.

Dean shakes out of discomfort where normally he'd hold his ground. He's not one easily pushed into anything, but he's lost with this Cas.

"Come, sit."

Dean does. Despite himself he's intrigued by Cas. He'd expected a goose chase without any results, a bit of a drive for him and Sam, harmless. Now he's sitting in the mountains with a stranger with the most spectacular eyes.

"What is it?"

"I've been trying to engineer a machine that resonates at the exact same frequency as time."

"I thought you said you'd done this before."

Cas's eyes narrow. "I have... a long time ago." He rubs his stubble, angling his head to show off his long elegant throat. "I just need to find a way to recreate the frequency."

Dean shakes himself to clear his thoughts.

"Yeah, sure, whatever man."

"I'm close Dean." Cas stands, gathers up another piece of machinery to bring back. "That's why I placed that ad."

His voice is low, rasping. It makes Dean think of cold, dark, silent nights with a single shock of warmth.

"So what do you need me for?"

Cas looks him up and down, his lashes long against his cheek. It's too dark now to see the blue in his eyes, his pupils are large, his eyes inky black.

"I need... a reason to change it."

It's the last thing that Dean expects him to say. "Wh-what?" he stutters.

Cas ignores him. He opens the panel on the front of his machine. Dean sees solder boards and wiring. Cas has long nimble fingers, he makes easy work of checking the parts as Sam wanders over.

"He doesn't look like a serial killer."

"Sam!" Dean shouts grabbing at his brother. Sam's quick for all his awkwardness and he dances away.

"No, it's ok," Cas smiles absently. "It's a compliment."

"Well my little brother is a barbarian, anyone would think he was raised by wolves."

Sam leans on his shoulders. "I was raised by you dumbass."

Sam bursts out laughing as Dean shakes him off. He pulls his brother into a headlock as he sits beside him.

"Damn kid."

Cas watches them both with soft eyes. He smiles hesitantly turning a circuit board over in his hands. "I am, uh, not a serial killer. I can give you my word on that much at least."

"Can you promise me you're not crazy?" Dean asks.

"Probably not." He drops the board and rolls his shoulders. "I am offering you a chance to travel through time after all."

He laughs, a fragile, broken thing. Dean can't help but join him, he gets the feeling Cas seldom smiles.

"I believe Dean, truly I do. I have seen the past and although the world does not understand that, or accept it I am telling you now that it is the truth."

Sam knocks Dean with his shoulder.

"Hey we drove all the way up here didn't we," Dean shrugs.

Dean gets a room for him and Sam that night. Sam sleeps well, he always does but Dean stays up, thinking about Cas and just how crazy he probably is. That and the way is hair curls softly across his forehead.

He wakes to a call from his father. He's answered it before he thinks to ignore him.

"Yeah. Yes dad."

He lets Sam sleep and heads outside, into the cold.

His dad shouts down the phone as he gets to the lake edge, starts wandering.

"Dad! Dad enough."

His dad continues to yell, words almost incoherent until, "You bring Sam back right now and you never set foot in this house again. You hear me. Bring Sam back now."

Dean can't reply. He's 26 now; he's been old enough to leave since Sam was only a boy. He hung around because of his little brother, so young and vulnerable.

His dad had gone to prison after their mom died when Sam was six, aggravated assault while drunk. Dean had barely been able to keep them together. He'd lied about his age, forged his birth certificate to become Sam's legal guardian for the 2 years their dad was locked up. The state had lost them in the system, something Dean had to work very hard to accomplish.

It was all supposed to get better when John got out, but he was a changed man, a drunkard with anger problems. He never turned that physical anger on his sons but so often he was absent, neglectful or even outright hostile. Three more prison trips later Dean was old enough to legally keep Sam, barely.

Dean loved his father, respected him enough to stay, not to just take Sam permanently and run. He'd tried so hard, but he'd never really believed John would be that man again.

"Dad," he breaks. "Dad we're just on a trip. Just a bit of fun."

"Dean you bring Sam back right this second or you will never see your brother again."

Dean pitches the phone into the lake with all his might. That was it. He's never going back. Sam can choose but he sure as hell isn't going to lose touch with his brother.

He squats at the lake edge just trying to breath.

"He can't keep your brother from you. Sam would not allow it."

Dean looks up to see Cas. He's wearing jeans and a faded red t-shirt that's at least two sizes too big. It hangs long past his ass and bags around his shoulders. There's something written on the front but Dean can't be bothered to work out what it says.

"It's not that," Dean says standing. "It's whether I even allow Sam to go back."

Cas waits, clear blue eyes endlessly patient. In the light of day Dean notices the bow of his lips, wide and deep. Unbidden the image of him putting his finger to the valley comes to his mind.

Cas doesn't have an answer for him and Dean can't think of his father any longer.

"How's the time machine coming?"

Cas shakes his head and his fringe falls across his forehead. "It's not. I had thought it would be easier than this, to recreate that power, but it is turning out to be very challenging."

Dean sees his fear and tries to cheer him up. It's what Dean does, for Sam, for his dad, for everyone. "You're talking about something nobody's ever done before man, lighten up a little."

Cas frowns, deep lines between his eyebrows. "I have done it before Dean. I told you."

Dean lets his doubt go, he came here didn't he? He supposes he should have some faith.

"So where did you go last time?"

Cas blinks as if it's a stupid question. "Here. Obviously."

He starts to walk and Dean's quick to follow.

"What do you mean, here?"

Cas still doesn't understand what's so confusing about the fact. "I travelled back through time. I came here, but it was a mistake."

"Huh Cas I'm not following exactly."

He stops and rolls his eyes. "I was at one point in time. I went back in time to change the world. But I did not achieve what I had hoped. This is not how the world is supposed to be."

"This world isn't so bad, right Cas?" Dean asks more out of hope that anything. It'd be nice for someone to tell him everything was going to be ok for a change and make him believe it.

It's a difficult question for Cas to answer. "Sometimes I think it's not, but then I see what's missing Dean."

He doesn't expand but keeps on walking.

Dean's beginning to find the time traveller as infuriating as he is intriguing.

"So this wasn't how time went originally?"

"No."

"And it's worse?"

"In some ways."

"What ways?"

Cas comes to a sudden halt. The look on his face when he turns to Dean is pure wrath, there's lightning in his eyes. Dean thinks he might even feel the world darken.

Dean leans back, he doesn't want to get on Cas's bad side, not when he can glare like that.

"I think you feel it Dean. The way's that this world isn't right. If you concentrate you can feel the cracks."

For a moment Dean just stands. He concentrates on the way the wind feels against his skin, the cold chill that comes off the mountains.

Cas steps forward, places a hand on his shoulder.

"This world is wrong. I want to make it right."

Dean only takes a breath once Cas has let him go. The time traveller once again walks off leaving Dean by the lake, breath choking in his throat and more curious than ever.

Sam wakes late, the kid could sleep for days if Dean let him.

"Up lazybones." Dean throws a pillow at his head to emphasise his point. "You're gonna miss lunch."

"Sleep's better than food," Sam grumbles.

Dean contains his laugh and rips the covers from the bed. Sam just curls in on himself and hugs his pillow tighter.

"Fine. I'm heading out to the lake to see if Cas needs any help. Find me if you need me."

"Cas?" When Dean looks back Sam's sitting up rubbing at his eyes. "Do you believe him?"

Dean blows out a long breath. "I believe he believes. That enough?"

"Maybe we shouldn't have come."

Dean sits on Sam's bed, feeling the mattress sag as Sam moves to sit beside him.

"It's an adventure kiddo. Since when have you been scared?"

Sam hugs his thin arms around his bony knees. "Since dad threatened to stop me from seeing you."

Dean feels his heart catch; it's exactly what John had said over the phone. He'd half hoped it'd been a spur of the moment thing, but apparently John was deadly serious about ousting his eldest son.

"He can't do that Sammy. I won't let him. Nothing is ever going to keep me out of your life. Remember that ok? He can't stop us being brothers."

Sam rubs his arms. He wants to believe Dean, but Sam has always been scared of John. Sam never really knew John as a happy family man. Mary's death changed everything.

"Come on then, we going to the lake?"

Sam agrees. Dean suspects he just needs to know that Dean will never leave him and that starts by being at his side.

Sam's smart. He sits and reads through Cas's handwritten manuals. Dean tinkers with the wiring. He doesn't know what the machines do but he can fix their busted circuits.

He thinks Cas must have made them in a hurry, the work is rushed and it shows, though the design is amazing.

Cas himself stomps around the little camp at the edge of the lake talking to himself in hushed tones.

"Hey Cas?" Sam says just after lunch (Cas had brought them all burgers from the van. Cas hadn't touched his. Sam had ate two.) "What's this writing?"

Cas comes over, leans to look at the messy page. Dean's not entirely sure how Sam's able to read any of it. There are so many sub notes and tangents his head hurts just trying half a page

"It's Enochian," Cas shrugs. "And that's ancient Aramaic. This here is renaissance era Italian."

"Is that different to regular Italian?" Dean rolls his eyes.

"Yes. Just like English is different now to during the dark ages." Cas says it with no inflection. So often he seems to miss the way regular people colour everything with tone.

"How do you know all those languages?" Sam asks laying the book down. Even smarty pants Sam can't read that.

"He's building a time machine and you want to know how he can speak a few languages?" Dean teases and receives an empty coke cup pitched at his head in return.

"The time machine I admit is harder," Cas says kneeling to form a small circle with the two of them. "Languages are easy, if you want to understand how people think."

"Dude nobody speaks ancient Aramaic anymore," Dean argues.

"I do. And so now you understand me a little better."

Dean raises his eyebrows. Touché Cas he thinks.

"You Dean speak a very different language to Sam. The words you chose show your differences, the way you speak them your soul."

"I'm not sure I understand you at all."

"Because you barely understand my language. Yet. It is a process. You understand Sam's though you do not speak it yourself."

"He's my brother."

Cas nods as if Dean has proved his point. His dark hair falls forward over his face and he shoves it back so it ends in messy spikes.

Dean finishes the circuit he's working on, slides it back into the machine putting down his mini soldering kit.

"I'm done. The wirings perfect now man."

"Then it just needs calibrating."

Cas pulls a front panel that's been preserved in a hard plastic case. He slots it on the front and the whole thing lights up. Gold from the display dances in his blue eyes.

Dean leans forward, he can't help himself. On the gold display are rows of what must be binary.

"You can read that too?"

"Yes Dean," Cas replies tersely. He's enthralled by the numbers. Dean is enthralled by Cas, the way his lips slightly part, the way his tongue touches his front teeth as he thinks.

After a few minutes he sits back. "I need to rewrite the programming. There are significant errors."

Sam immediately slides closer. "I can help."

"He really can," Dean agrees proud of his genius brother. "Kid could crack into the pentagon if he wanted to."

"A monkey could crack into the pentagon," Cas replies again with no real tone, he's not impressed at all. Still he connects his bulky little laptop to the machine and hands it to Sam. "Smooth out the code so the main drive and the secondaries will talk to each other."

Sam's away in minutes, loving the complex task. Dean can't believe his brother sometimes.

"Dean with me," Cas says getting to his feet. He's away before Dean's had the chance to process the words. Sam's enthralled in the code so he scrambles to follow Cas.

"Sam is a good kid."

"The best," Dean agrees not entirely sure where the conversation is going.

"You understand if we do go back in time we can change things. There are no rules Dean."

"I'm not going to fade away if I accidentally kill my own parents?" Dean laughs but his heart isn't in it. Cas is too serious.

"No. We are there, that is the fixed point. We change the future but we do not change our former selves."

It makes Dean's head spin, the implications of what Cas if offering.

"What do you want to change?" he asks instead. He's curious about the man who claims to be a time traveller. There's something about Cas.

Silence and averted eyes. "I'm not so sure anymore." Cas tilts his head, looks out across the lake. The Sierra Nevada is beautiful, the skies clear and the water as still as glass. Wild mountains form a perfect backdrop. Dean can't look away from Cas though. He wants to work out what he's seeing in the time traveller.

"You still want to do it?"

Cas nods. "I think so."

"But you're not sure? You want to change the world but you're not sure?"

Cas walks away from Dean's anger. "I was, sure. But things have changed."

"How so? What could have happened since yesterday Cas?"

The time traveller pushes his lips together. It's another language Dean realises, the same as words and tone. This is Cas's language.

"What would you change Dean?"

There's an obvious answer. Dean doesn't even have to think about it. He'd wish for Mary back. He'd wish for his mother so his father would be happy and Sam would grow up with a proper family, like the one Dean had for the first ten years of his life.

"My mom," he says sitting himself down by the water's edge. It's easier to watch the water than Cas as he speaks. "If she hadn't died... Dad never would have gone to prison, never would have took to drink. Sam would never have to be scared to go home."

"You would never have been scared for your brother."

Cas crouches beside him. He skips a pebble across the lake and they both watch it bounce off the surface till eventually gravity beats water resistance.

"Sam doesn't deserve that."

"You don't deserve it either Dean."

Dean dismisses the comment before it can burry too deep inside of him. "Yeah but I can take it."

"You shouldn't have to. There should have been someone to protect you."

"Well since we're believing in time travel now why not angels too?"

Cas says nothing. He squints in the sun, long lashes throwing deep shadows across his high cheek bones.

Eventually he speaks. "There are no angels left in this world." He rests a hand on Dean's shoulder, makes Dean look him in the eye. "I would change everything. My world was broken, terrifying. But it was healing and there were people there, good people, who put their souls on the line, who came up against horrific odds and won. They don't exist anymore because of what I did. And what have I won? A world no less broken. Blinded. They cannot see the destruction in their midst. There are no heroes here."

Dean shudders. Cas's words seem too familiar, too true.

He knows it's all a lie, that time travel doesn't exist, isn't possible. It scares him though how strongly Cas's story resonates inside him. Everything about Cas seems familiar and true.

"This world is working."

"Working yes, but not whole. It is a shell of my past life."

Dean shakes his hand off. Cas is scaring him. He tells himself over and over he doesn't believe, but some part of him does. Some part of him sees Cas and it knows him at a level deeper than memory.

Cas sits back on his elbows, shoulders around his ears. "You're scared. I am too."

It's plain to see in Cas's eyes, the fear that brought him to this point. It must take a lot to destroy an entire world in the hope the next will be better.

And even if Dean doesn't believe that, Cas does. The man before him is broken. There has been great tragedy in his life.

"Man I thought this would just be about seeing dinosaurs, Vikings maybe."

"Perhaps we should do that instead." Cas actually smiles, which does interesting things to the bow of his lips.

Dean fights for words, his whole brain just went dead. "I'd probably just get eaten by a Velociraptor anyway."

"Velociraptor's are the size of chicken's Dean, I trust your survival skills more than that."

It's a deadpan humour but Dean cracks up. Cas appeared humourless at first glance but he has a dry, sarcastic, often black humour.

"Then I'd get stood on by some kind of sauropod ok?"

"Whatever you prefer Dean."

"I'd prefer not to get eaten or stomped on or dismembered thanks."

"I shall try to ensure none of those things happen."

The smile Cas wore was enough for Dean at that moment. Whatever demons Cas was fighting he felt maybe he'd helped a little. The ache of familiarity remained.

Dean lazed by the lake as Cas and Sam discussed the programming of the machine.

Cas couldn't quite explain what he was trying to do. He complained it was because there were not words in English and Dean laughed.

He gave Sam general pointers as he worked on his own code and then updated what Sam came up with.

Dean thought perhaps it would have been quicker and easier for Cas to just do it all but he seemed to like humouring Sam. He was always willing to at least try to explain, even if the advanced physics he spoke of were a little beyond Sam.

Everything went over Dean's head but he enjoyed watching the two of them.

He ordered an early dinner when he realised Cas would have carried on late into the night. Sam and Dean packed the equipment all away in record time as Cas sat struggling over one piece he'd got particularly stuck on. It took Dean prying it from his hand to make him head back to the motel with them. Inside they exchanged their parkers for indoor jumpers and met Cas in the dinner attached conveniently to the reception.

Cas hadn't changed. He didn't seem to feel the cold. He wore his jacket sporadically even when the sun started to drop and the cold mountain winds blew. He was also now wearing blue-green flip-flops.

Dean ordered burgers for him and Sam. Cas ordered a salad but just moved it around the plate.

Sam had brought his book with him to the table, homework he made sure to do since he missed so much class.

"Hamlet?" Cas asks picking it up.

"You read it?"

Cas nods, "In thy orisons, Be all my sins remember'd."

Sam's impressed. Dean has to admit he is as well. He's read Shakespeare in passing but never paid that much attention. The words fall so effortlessly from Cas's lips though he's thinking maybe he should have.

"It is my favourite Shakespeare play. None other has gotten so close to the question of existence."

Sam looks quizzical so Cas expands.

"Hamlet was a deeply damaged and morally striving character. He's a romantic, he questions life and love and honour."

"My teacher said he was mad."

"It depends on your interpretation. I choose to believe Hamlet isn't mad. He asked the questions the others refused to even think about. He was clever and he used their prejudices against them. Playing at madness to deceive the court."

"He has them on so they'll reveal the truth about the kings death," Dean says and catches Cas's eyes. Cas isn't the only one who can speak literature.

"Exactly. But it is only one theory."

"A more interesting one," Sam speaks up. "If Hamlet were mad then what's the point of the play?"

Cas points to Sam and nods. It makes Dean think of their own odd little situation. Is Cas mad or is he playing them? Or by some rare chance is he telling the truth?

Dean can't think of what Cas has to gain. He wants to believe. Because this world is lacking but he can't put his finger on what.

Sam heads to bed after to finish his reading.

"Come on man," Dean groans as Cas says he has to get back to his machines. "Take a night off. I'm taking you to a bar."

"I don't drink," Cas complains but Dean herds him towards his beat up car.

Cas takes one look at it and digs his heels in. "At least let's go in my car." He changes direction, slipping from Dean's grasp.

Cas is parked in the lot on the other side of the reception and as Dean rounds the motel he stops dead in his tracks.

Cas pulls his keys and unlocks a perfectly restored '67 impala.

"Holy shit," Dean breathes. He creeps forward toward the beautiful car. She's straight out of a dream, gleaming black and chrome lines, with an intrigued Cas leaning up against her wheel arch.

"I knew you'd like her," Cas smiles. It's so pure that Dean loses interest in the car for a moment. The smile on Cas's face transforms him. Now he looks peaceful, like he's found what he's lost in the universe.

"Dude she's a classic," Dean manages, forcing himself to speak and not just drool at the sight in front of him. "My dad used to have one."

He shuts himself down right then and there. He couldn't say it, couldn't even think it.

Cas senses the change in him. He pushes off the car and comes over to Dean, gently touching his shoulder. It's familiar and welcome, comforting where normally Dean never lets himself seek comfort in others. He has to be strong, has to be the rock for everyone else, but Cas moves past that with a simple gesture.

"It's ok Cas," Dean says trying to get a grip on himself. "She's beautiful, really she is."

Cas doesn't understand, he's missing something, his sky blue eyes are honest before Dean.

"Can I drive her?"

It's a hollow dream that Dean remembers from before, before everything, when he was a child and his dad would sing along to rock radio and take Dean on road trips for the sheer exhilaration. Cas pushes the keys into his hand unseen but doesn't push Dean to tell him.

The seats are the same cracked leather as his dad's old car, even the smell is the same. Dean slides into the seat and waits for Cas.

"Where did you get her?"

"She was waiting for me on a lot in South Dakota. When I saw her I knew that I had to buy her even though she was way out my price range."

There's that smile again, genuine happiness and Dean finds he's able to put aside his own feelings for a while.

Cas, his impala and the wide open road are enough.

He's missed the bar ten miles back but Cas doesn't mention it. Dean's driving for the sake of driving, loving the feeling of the big old car as she corners on the shoddy mountain roads. His window is half down, though strictly it's too cold, but Cas has turned the heating up and it's not like the time traveller ever cared about wearing t-shirts in the snow anyway.

By the time he realises he's been driving for an hour it's too late to turn back and he decides to carry on round.

He goes slow on the return leg and memories of his past rear their ugly heads once more.

Out of the corner of his eye he sees Cas watching him. It's dark now, just the moon lighting the road between the street lights. Cas's eyes are holding the last of the colour of the world once more, bright in his shadowy face.

"What is it Dean?"

"My, uh, my dad used to have an impala. '67, just like this one. It... it got totalled. I was in the back with my little brother, somehow managed to get Sammy out. My dad was thrown from the car by the impact. Right through the smashed windscreen. He never did walk right again."

"And your mother died," Cas's ethereal voice answers.

"She was trapped. I watched as they used the Jaws of Life to try and get her out. But it was too late."

Dean lets the car role to a stop. He's distraught by the memory. It's never been this vivid. He's never remembered Sam crying in his arms, six years old and unable to understand what was happening. The paramedic's working on John's leg. His mother dead, so very obviously dead, even as they tried to save her.

Cas reaches over, brings Dean's head to his shoulder. Dean just breaths, content to try to regain himself in Cas's embrace.

"Ooh I need to get drunk," Dean says pulling away. His heads spinning from the awkward angle. It has nothing to do with the smell of Cas's shirt he tells himself. He almost believes it.

"There's a bar up ahead," Cas replies seemingly unmoved.

Dean knocks the car into drive and chances a glance over at Cas. He sits facing forward, eyes on the road. Perhaps he's holding himself a little stiffly but Dean thinks he's reading into things.

Awkward again Dean drives straight to the nearest bar. He's at the bar, ordering a drink before Cas is even out the car.

The time traveller follows him in as he's downing his second shot of whiskey.

"Dean?"

"I got the bottle." He taps the bar at the barman who slams down another glass.

Cas takes the drink but he only sniffs it as he sits.

"You gonna drink it?" Dean smiles. He gets the feeling Cas does just to please him. He tips it back and opens his throat not even tasting the alcohol. Dean fills his glass as soon as it's empty. He likes the idea of getting Cas drunk.

Cas sips the next one making a face as he does so. Dean can't hold back his laugh and Cas looks at him offended.

"Cute," he jokes.

"I do not like the taste of alcohol."

"No? Well the effects are good."

He knocks back another shot himself and Cas follows suite.

Cas is a cute drunk, he goes sleepy on the bar, eyes half open, head resting on his bent hand. It's an endearing sight.

"You ready to tell me why you changed time yet?"

Cas opens his eyes slowly looking up at Dean under dark lashes. "I don't think I should Dean."

"Was it really that bad?"

Cas looks at his drink. He's unsure now. But then nostalgia makes the grass greener. With a shake of his head he tips it back.

"It was a good world, but broken. I could live with that, I was content with that. Until I lost..." Cas spares him a glance. He's worried about Dean's reaction. Dean waits. He wants to hear Cas's story. "I fell in love. With a man." He checks Dean again and Dean just nods. He can feel this is important, he can feel Cas's pain. "And I lost him."

"You changed time to try and find him?"

"Yes. But I realised that in truly changing time he would not know me, that we would not be as we were before. And even if I were to meet him..." He grabs the bottle, downs another shot before Dean wrestles it out of his hand.

"Cas take it easy."

"No. I loved him. He's not the same person that he was."

"Cas." He lets the name linger, lays a hand on his shoulder. There's an emotion to Cas's voice that he's tried so hard to keep under wraps since they met. "You said you weren't sure anymore."

"Of him? I am sure Dean. I have never been so sure."

"And time travel?"

"If I cannot find him then why go back?"

"You said something was missing from the world."

"Is that such a bad thing." He turns fully towards Dean, intent. "You don't know what that world was like."

Dean's lost in the stare, can't look away.

It's Cas who moves first, pushing away from the bar and heading for the pool table. He picks up the cues left carelessly on the table.

Dean stands too. "There was obviously something about it." He takes the out held cue as Cas racks the balls.

"Yes. My question now is can I create a world better than this one?"

Cas breaks with a hard strike to the white. There's an anger behind that strike, no finesse. Cas just needed to hit something right then.

"I'm the wrong guy to ask," Dean tries to lighten the mood.

"You have Sam."

"Yeah I suppose." He grins to himself swinging his cue. "Sammy. My little brother's going to change the world."

He makes his shot, missing the pocket. He blames it on distraction and becomes even more distracted as Cas bends over to make a long shot.

The guy's just told him he's hung up on another and yet Dean can't stop watching him. There was something beneath Cas's admission, something Dean can't put his finger on but is drawing him closer. The muscles in Cas's back strain against his t-shirt, the dip of his spine low and inviting. His jeans show off long legs, heavily muscled.

Cas seems distracted too. He takes a long time to make his shot and although the ball is well struck it bounces off the pillow harmlessly.

"You want your mother back. Your father."

"Can you make it happen?"

Cas shrugs. "I don't know. It's a risk. I weighed my chances last time and decided the risk was worth it. I have not found what I was searching for."

Dean doesn't try to make the shot. Absently he picks up a ball and rubs it between his hands. "We could always try again. Build another machine."

Finally Cas smiles. "Yes." He takes the ball from Dean's fingers and places back where it had been before. "But then, when will we stop?"

"When we're kings of the world," Dean laughs. "And I have a mansion filled with money and a beer named after me."

"Big dreams," Cas says dryly. Dean laughs it up, he loves Cas's rarely used sense of humour.

"Seriously though man, I'd stop at a family. My kid brother, my mom, my dad. That's all I need."

Cas takes time on his next shot and when he hits it two yellow balls spin into the pockets. "Guess that's my colour."

They play late into the night, till the barman stares them out and Dean finally gives up. Talk had turned to lighter things, Cas's amazing game and Dean's ability to make trick shots.

The thought of another man in Cas's life had hung at the back of his head, but he admits to flirting a little. He couldn't help himself as Cas lined up a shot right beside him. Dean had leant over and nudged the guy's hip. Cas had been distracted, missed the shot, but he'd laughed and demanded another.

The game had gotten dirty after that, Cas's glass dumped unceremoniously in front of one of his balls, hands in front of pockets, cues left barring entire regions of the table. Dean had swiped the white, made Cas shoot with the black.

Dean was only glad it was an old fashioned table and they could rescue any balls they potted playing their games.

The last shot had come and Cas had dropped his glass over the ball this time. They'd played chicken as Dean pulled back the cue. He'd struck and Cas had rushed to pull the glass back so it wouldn't smash. He'd grabbed the black as well. A little drunk then he'd brought it round to Dean cupped in one long fingered hand.

"Cheater," Dean had said shaking his head but finding himself completely unable to be angry.

The time traveller had put it in his hand before grabbing his wrist and running from the bar.

Dean still wasn't sure whether the barman had seen them steal the ball. He palmed the black now as he walked. Both of them too drunk to get behind the wheel and the motel only ten minutes' walk along the lake edge.

Half way he stops and takes a deep breath to survey the beautiful mountain territory. Cas loops his way back, not entirely steady on his feet.

Dean holds up the pool ball and they both laugh.

"Thank you Dean," Cas smiles. "Tonight reminded me of old times. And it gave me hope."

"Hope for what?"

Cas won't tell him. He takes the ball from Dean's fingers and rubs at its scuffed surface. Then he places a kiss white dot on the eight.

"Make a wish Cas," Dean tells him as Cas holds it out for him.

"Wish very hard Dean."

Dean kisses the shiny black surface before Cas picks it out his fingers and pitches it into the dark lake.

"Hey that was my lucky 8 ball," Dean moans but immediately he's distracted by the set of Cas's mouth. His lips are tight, accentuating the already lush bow. "What did you wish for?" he tries to cover aware that his voice is stumbling.

"You shouldn't tell your wishes Dean," Cas replies. "They won't come true."

"That explains it," Dean replies automatically but the uprising at either end of Cas's lips has stolen any wit he ever had. "I must have blabbed about everything I've ever wanted."

"Tell me something within my power and I will do my best to grant it."

There are things Dean wants from Cas, but not things he feels he can ask for. Not after Cas's earlier confession.

"Back at you man," he says instead, watching for Cas's reaction closely. The time traveller touches his tongue to his lip but doesn't move. It takes them a long time to get back to the motel.

Lunch comes and goes the next day without anything getting done. Dean wakes up late much to Sam's delight. They head to the lake where Cas is only just getting out himself.

Sam does most of the work, Cas looking forlorn with his hangover.

"I'm never drinking with you again Dean Winchester," he groans as he tries to force down a can of coke, Dean's perfect hangover cure.

"Yes you are. I hear the Viking's did some awesome mead."

Cas is testy with his headache, he glares at Dean as Dean crouches in front of him.

"The Viking's would make you wear a hat with the horns on the wrong side," Cas grumps. Sam bursts out laughing.

"So where can I go in time that I won't get eaten or killed?"

"Nowhere Dean. You are an infuriating man."

It should have sounded like an insult in Cas's flat gravelly voice but Dean knows him better than that now. He laughs with Sam and pushes Cas in the shoulder.

Cas squeezes his eyes closed looking pale. "Man you really can't hold your drink at all, can you?"

"I told you, I do not drink."

Dean takes pity on the time traveller. They'd got through a bottle of Jack together the night before and Dean thinks Cas pulled his own weight on that account. "Ok up with you." He helps Cas to his feet. "Today's a bust for you, might as well get some kip." He pushes Cas forward. "You be alright Sammy?"

"Of course." Sam's already lost interest in the men, he's working again on Cas's machines.

Dean takes Cas back to his room, opening the door when Cas doesn't have the energy. There are more pieces of machinery in there, littering the dresser and the floor. That doesn't surprise Dean. What does are the wall sized charts pinned up around the room.

"The motel's going to love you."

Some are blueprints, some seem like timelines. Dean tries to take it all in, the thin spidery handwriting he recognises from Cas's manuals. Sometimes the language changes, sometimes it's purely in mathematical symbols.

Cas lies back and closes his eyes.

"What's November 2nd 1983?" Dean continues to scan the wall.

"It is not of import," Cas says sleepily.

"This timeline..."

"Is obsolete." Cas sits up and blinks his tired eyes. "That is the world that was."

"May 2nd 2008? September 18? What happened?"

The dates are bolded in black ben and highlighted in red.

"It never happened Dean, don't worry about it."

But the dates stick in Dean's mind. Something important happened on those dates. Maybe not in this universe, but in another, now dead and forgotten.

"The timeline ends in 2012. That's when you decided to go back?"

Cas nods and comes stands behind Dean. He leans round his shoulder, long body pressed along Dean's arm to point. "May 18th 2012. The day it all ended. The day I decided I was better off starting the world again." He moves to Dean's other side but is no less close. "September 18th 2008, the day I fell in love."

Dean takes a deep breath. Cas's voice is so close to his ear, his warm body blocking him in.

"Who was he?"

Cas is too close to turn to look at Dean but he does. Personal space has always been an issue with Cas ever since Dean met him.

"A man who was forced to become a pawn in a game he had no interest in playing. A good man forced to do extraordinary things."

Cas turns Dean slightly so he can see all of his face.

"He was older than you are now but not much. He had seen so much more. I suppose I should not be sorry to have denied you that life Dean."

Dean's heart catches. He's not sure he fully understands what Cas is saying but there's a fear forming deep in his chest, one that's been niggling at his consciousness since he met the man.

"But he turned me into a selfish creature." He doesn't sound particularly annoyed, more nostalgic.

Cas moves forward another inch so that he's pressed right up against Dean's chest.

"Who are you Dean Winchester?"

Dean's a different man, but he sees knowledge in Cas's eyes. Cas knows him. Cas understands his language. So when Cas presses a chaste kiss to the corner of his lips Dean follows him instinctively.

That kiss holds memories of many more, a different time, a different Dean.

"Cas?"

"I apologise."

He goes to move away but Dean takes hold of him, brings him back close.

"You were looking for me?" He asks on the edge of heartbreak. "Cas tell me."

The time traveller bows his head but Dean forces his chin up. "Cas I'm here."

"You look like him," Cas says eyes averted as if even looking at Dean pains him. "Sound like him. Feel like him." He pushes closer as he says it, desperate for touch although he's holding back with his words.

"Cas. I am him. I think I've been waiting for you Cas."

He teases Cas's lips with a closed mouth kiss, then another, quick and easy. He kisses Cas's cheeks, his eyelids till he finds his mouth again and Cas moves with him.

It's so easy. It's like a revision of everything Dean has ever known but had forgotten.

Cas fits. He slots into Dean's arm with such ease they move quickly from embracing to slipping their hands under each other's shirts, under their waistbands.

Dean opens for Cas at the first insistence. Cas's tongue darts between his teeth, steels his breath. He doesn't need to breathe anyway, this is killing him so much more effectively.

Cas wraps himself around Dean and takes everything Dean has to offer. Dean is dreaming of memories but Cas is living his.

"Cas, slow down a minute," Dean breathes. He feels like he's on the edge already, ready to free fall. Cas is everything he'd imagined as he'd daydreamed by the lake, or lay awake in his motel room. He licks at the bow of Cas's top lip to let him know it's not a rejection. It's so satisfying to finally be able to touch him there. Dean feels like his trip's been made just by that moment. Everything else is additional. "You loved me?"

"Yes. I loved you Dean. From the moment I first saw you." He sweeps a quick kiss over Dean's parted lips a new light coming to his eyes. "Your soul is the same."

The next kiss causes Dean to lose his balance and he tumbles backwards, falling not on the bed but against the side to come to sit on the floor. Cas's face is between his hands, he's bent over, one hand coming to rest on the mattress behind them.

Cas settles down on his knees as Dean opens his legs to let him in. It's a comfortable position, leaning back and getting his breath kissed from his lungs, especially when Cas forces his legs down and moves to straddle him.

The pressure is enough to make Dean break the kiss. He gasps and leans his head back.

"Cas don't," he groans. "I can't. I've got to get back to Sam..."

Cas understands but there's a hint of wickedness in the man and he rolls his hips before he stands, helps Dean up.

Dean almost falls into him. He'd expected walking to be easier but Cas has kissed the strength from his legs.

"Hell just one more." He backs Cas into the wall and launches a full assault, tongue teeth and hips.

He comes off the worse for it, Cas grinning as Dean falls back with a roll of his eyes. He should have known better. Now he aches as he straightens his clothes.

"Get some rest. I'm going to check on Sammy."

He lets himself out aware he's wearing a stupid grin on his face. He can't help it as he heads back to the lakeside.

The first sign that's something is wrong is the Ford pickup truck. It's a rusty blue, the whole left side of its hood touched up a long time ago with a mismatched navy.

Dean starts to run. "Sammy."

Sam is crouching beside one of Cas's machines. It's been smashed. John is standing over it. As Dean runs he kicks out at the broken machine. Sam raises his hands as broken pieces fall around him.

"Dad!" he pleads. "That was our friends. He built it."

John doesn't care though, he's angry at his sons. He steps up to another piece but as he swings Dean grabs him.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Immediately he can smell the drink. John Winchester has driven to Lake Tahoe with his friends Jack, Jim and Jose.

"Dad what are you even doing here?"

"It was my phone GPS," Sam explains as he gathers the parts of Cas's broken machine. He's on the verge of tears with the broken pieces of his hard work in his hands.

"It's not your fault Sammy." Dean turns back to his father. He's never appeared less like the happy and loving father Dean knew till he was sixteen years old. He'd used to see glimpses of that man but now he's a stranger. "Dad come on. Let's get you a room."

He reaches out but John slaps his hand away. "I told you. You are no longer my son. I am taking Sa-Sammy," he hiccups. "And you are never seeing him again."

Sam's on his feet and at Dean's side as John reaches for him.

"Dean's more a father to me than you ever were," he shouts. "If I'm choosing either of you then it's him."

John storms forward and Dean stands up to him, pushing Sammy back.

"You are no son of mine," John bellows.

"You are no father of mine," Dean counters. There's no strength in his voice, just a dreaded realisation. "I'm taking Sam. I'll give him the home he deserves."

"They'll never let you."

"I bugged out on the state once before. When you were in prison. You should have been there dad. I was 16 years old and I held it together. For Sam dad, for Sam."

John swings at him and Dean goes down taking the full brunt of the punch on his cheekbone.

Sam's screaming but Dean can barely hear him. His ear's ringing up a storm. John's leaning over him, shouting and cursing. Dean doesn't even notice the next hit coming. It catches his lip, snaps his head back. John shakes him violently, knocking Sammy to the ground as he attempts to stop his father.

Dean sees Cas very clearly though. He holds two fingers to John's temple and John falls over sideways, out for the count. Cas's expression doesn't change, there's wrath and war behind his eyes.

Sam has his arms around Dean's neck, hugging him so tight Dean can't breathe.

"Cas he broke your machine," Sam cries as he hugs Dean.

"Yes I see," Cas sighs. "It doesn't matter. I wasn't going to use it."

"What?"

Dean stands, bringing Sam with him. He's shaking pretty badly, thinking maybe it was actually Sam who had lifted him up. The kid's got strong lately. He's no longer the baby brother he was.

"I made a decision Dean. Why risk what I have in this world?"

Dean colours, his embarrassment made worse by the swelling that's already happening in his face.

"It seems I retained some powers." Cas takes a long breath and holds a hand to his head.

"What did you do to him?" Dean asks. "Is he...?"

"He's alive. Sleeping. I thought you would prefer it to me burning out his soul."

Dean's confused, maybe he has a concussion. He can't have just heard Cas say that.

"Dean," Cas says softly. "Your mother's gone. Your father is a mess. But there is still something for you in this time." He looks to Sammy who smiles back. "If we were to change history who's to say you would still have Sammy? Or that I would find you again."

Dean understands. It hurts that he'll never have his mother back. He realises now that his dad needs more help than he can offer. He vows then to get John to a rehab and a good psychologist.

Cas rests two fingers on Dean's temple and for a moment he hopes for sleep. Then his mind clears and his face stops pounding.

"Holy…" Sam starts but Dean shushes him with a hand across his mouth.

"Holy shit," he finishes himself when he realises that his face is healed. No bruises, no cuts. He no longer feels concussed. "How?"

"You believe I'm a time traveller and yet you wonder how I heal with a touch? You are infuriating Dean."

Dean sleeps till late the next day. Cas had healed his face but he still felt tired after his fight with his father. Emotionally, more than anything.

"Sam?" he asks as Sam sits cross legged reading.

"Hey Dean."

Hamlet again. Sammy's really taken to that damn book.

"Did yesterday really happen?"

"Yes."

"And Cas really..?"

"Yes."

Sam sounds completely disinterested.

"And you just believe all that?"

Sam puts his book down. "I guess yeah." Dean waits for the explanation Sam is planning in his mind, his brother's anxious about telling Dean but he will. "You remember when I was little. I told dad I thought there was a thing in my closet."

"Yeah. You were so sure. Dad said not to be afraid of the dark."

"He was wrong Dean. You should be afraid, there are monsters there. One night an angel killed it. I thought perhaps it was a dream but really I don't believe that."

Dean remembers the pounding pain in his face, how he was sure his cheek was shattered. Now there's no pain at all, not even a shaving nick he'd got the day before.

"I'm sorry Sammy."

"Why Dean?"

"Because I should have been there. I should have checked out that closet."

Sam gets off the bed, throws his gangly arms around Dean. "You're not my dad Dean. Sometimes I wish you were. But it's better having you as a big brother." He legs go and grins. "Otherwise who'd take me out of school and take me to meet crazy time travellers half a country away."

"I would Sammy. Always."

Dean gets out of bed, stretches his fatigue away. "I'm gonna find Cas. You coming?"

Sam watches his brother for a long time. "You like him don't you?"

"Course I do."

Sam shakes his head and rolls his eyes. He's always annoyed how much smarter he is than his big brother. "Whatever Dean." He goes back to his reading.

Dean lets himself out.

Cas has gathered up the pieces of his broken time machine. They're laid out on a white sheet by the water's edge. He's staring at them, hands on hips when Dean finds him.

"I thought you were done with it."

"I am," Cas says turning his eyes towards Dean. They're softer than Dean has ever seen them. "I guess it's harder saying goodbye to my powers than I'd thought."

"I don't know, seems like you've still got some pretty nifty tricks." Dean digs the toe of his boot into the soft ground. "How did you..?"

Cas shakes his head. "I doubt I will be able to again. I have been cut off for too long."

"Cut off from what?"

Cas steps forward, takes his hands. "I cannot tell you this Dean. It would be too much. Let me show you. Promise me to try to understand."

He steps back and Dean feels the chill as he walks away.

On the small sand beach the lake laps at Cas takes his t-shirt off revealing tanned skin over taught muscles. He lets the t-shirt fall to the sand, looks back over his shoulder, his face a mask of indecision.

Dean goes to him, takes his face as Cas turns fully towards him. Their foreheads meet.

"It's ok Cas. You don't need to do this. I believe in you. It's not in me to doubt you."

Cas shakes his head. "I want to show you. Please don't be scared."

He steps back so his feet are now in the shallow water. Then he bows his head and he starts to shine. Light erupts from his shoulders solidifying into solid, beautiful wings. They're pure white, the feathers as long as Dean's arm at the primaries.

Dean almost chokes, he pitches forward overwhelmed by the beauty before him.

Cas catches him, balancing them both with outstretched wings.

He runs his hands over Dean's cheeks, looks at him with those stunning blue eyes. Dean can't look away from the wings though.

Eventually he hears Cas's questioning voice. He must have been calling Dean's names for some time as now he sounds desperate and even deeper than usual.

"Cas you have wings."

One solid beat and then Cas puts them away. It's as if the light has gone from the world but Dean finds another source is Cas's eyes.

"Wings," he repeats in case Cas hasn't realised.

"Yes I know. They're useless now. I don't even have the strength to fly without heaven's touch. I am as good as human Dean."

Dean can barely think, instead he falls forward, pushes a kiss to Cas's lips.

He understands now what Cas gave up. He'd lost another version of Dean, but also he'd lost heaven.

"Cas you have to go back. You have to rebuild the machine. You're a freaking angel Cas. You can't give up heaven."

He's almost frantic, knowing what he'll lose if Cas does as he says. The two emotions war within him.

Cas though shushes him. "Dean. I gave up heaven once for you. Why would I go back now that I've found you again?" He smiles and shakes his head in a self-deprecating way. "I've been holding onto this for too long."

The angel pulls out his grace. It's a ball of pure shining light.

"Cas you'll be human."

"Yes," Cas laughs and pitches his grace into the lake just like the magic 8 ball before.

-Fin-