Chapter 7

Joe sat at his brother's side, trading banter with Hoss from opposite sides of Adam's bed. The three were sharing a semblance of a laugh when their father appeared in the doorway. Upon seeing Joe, he turned on his heel and walked out.

Joe stood immediately, but Hoss motioned for him to sit back down. Adam and Joe watched as Hoss stepped out and shut the door behind him.

"Pa," Hoss said.

"How is Adam?" Ben inquired stiffly.

"Fine, Pa, just like this mornin'."

"Good. I'll come back later to-" Hoss placed his hands against his father's chest and halted him in his tracks.

"Pa, I gotta talk to you."

Ben turned his body away from his son. "Why, Hoss? You're going to try and convince me that Joseph shooting his own brother was all right? It's not all right, boy!" He spun around, and Hoss saw the fire in his eyes. "We're flesh and blood, all of us! It was unforgiveable!"

The middle son set his jaw and his voice came out a growl. "Seems to me, if Adam can forgive him, you might do the same."

The words hit Ben like a slap in the face. He stared at Hoss in shock.

"You always taught us not to carry grudges, Pa. You said they just weigh a man down. Was it a lie, Pa? Was it a rule that only applies to other men, and not to family?"

Ben's eyes had drifted to the floor as his son spoke. Hoss moved closer. This time, his voice was softer, almost pleading. "Adam's laid up in there, hurt bad. But he's alive, Pa. As far as he's concerned, he's alive because Joe shot him." The anger flared again, and his voice rose in volume. "Would you 'a' rather seen Gaffon blow his brains out?!"

"Of course not!" Ben snapped.

"Well then open your eyes, Pa! Joe and Adam went through a lot together before that day. They had it all worked out beforehand. Joe did what Adam told him to do. Joe saved his life, Pa. If you can't believe that, at least believe that he thought he was doin' the right thing!"

Silence settled over the two, and Hoss stuffed his hands into his pockets. "I'm goin' back in there. It'd be nice if you'd come in, too." He scrubbed the toe of his boot against the fringe on the rug, and then returned to his brothers.

Ben listened to the heavy footsteps departing from him and eased himself down on the arm of a chair. His thoughts wandered back to that day. Once again, he heard himself shout to Joe. Once again, he saw Joe fire, and Adam fall. The anger burned again as he remembered Adam's bloody body and pale face.

Hoss wanted him to forgive that. How could he?! Just like his middle son, to throw his own words back at him, too. Grudge, indeed. He wasn't holding a grudge... or was he? He heard soft laughter from the bedroom and it became all too clear that he was. Ben stood, walked to the window, and absently fingered the lace window dressing.

He forced himself to go over events again, only this time, he concentrated on Little Joe. He remembered seeing Joe on the horse as they brought Adam into town. The boy was still dirty from his own ordeal, and the look on his face... Ben closed his eyes, trying to remember. What was it, exactly? Worry... fear... shame?

Ben let go the lace and shoved his hands into his pockets. A couple of miners rode by on horseback, grimy from their trade, but wearing smiles at the thought of a night in town... probably headed to the Silver Dollar.

That brought back another memory. Ben lifted his right hand from his pocket and studied the bruised knuckles. He was awash with shame. His own son... his little boy... his baby. He'd never lifted a hand to him in anger before.

It was the whiskey, that's what it was. Ben looked down at his bruised hand and drew in a ragged breath. That was no excuse. Hoss was right. He was the one holding a grudge, and he was the one who had to try and set things right.

Taking a deep breath, Ben turned to join his sons.

When he heard the door swing open, Hoss turned his head away. He had to give his Pa a chance to save face. Ben walked into the room and sat at Adam's bedside. He did not glance at Joe, but in spite of that, Hoss felt he'd scored a victory. It was the first time they'd been in the same room together since the Silver Dollar.

"How are you feeling, son?" He asked Adam quietly.

Adam smiled. He took Joe's hand in his left and his Pa's in his right and brought the two to rest upon each other's. "Fine, Pa, just fine."

Ben felt the warm flesh of his youngest son against his own, and his words to Hoss came back to haunt him. "We're flesh and blood, all of us." Slowly, he raised his head and looked into Joe's eyes. He squeezed the hand gently and offered a half smile. It was the best he could muster, but at least it was a start.

THE END