Gilbert woke up in a room. Roderich's room, precisely. He didn't know what had happened, just that his head was aching so much he couldn't even move it yet. In an instant he remembered everything that had happened, but no matter how he thought about it, blacking out just didn't make any sense. Probably something had hit him from behind, but he wouldn't know.

"Finally woke up?" Gilbert heard Roderich's voice. He looked at the side to find him seating on an armchair besides the bed. His wounds were now cleaned and covered, his hair wet but back to place, his glasses on his face. As if nothing had happened at all before. There was something different in his look though: he looked much more gentle, the small smile he gave was warm and true, so was the glow in his eyes.

He seemed to have fallen asleep while watching Gilbert. That thought made him give a silly smile, which Roderich interpreted as a sign he was really conscious.

"You blacked out for some hours now. The party's over, it's about time of dawn" Gilbert looked at the window. The sun hadn't appeared yet, but in the horizon he could see a spark of sunlight.

"What… What happened? I just know we stopped fighting and then, puff. Black. I can't remember anything else from there."

"Well, you see… When Elizabeta left, she thought you were going to, uh, hurt me. What really is true, but that isn't the point. Just have in mind she wanted to protect me. She went to the kitchen and found a frying pan. And then used it to hit your head. I explained the situation and she apologized afterwards."

"No no no, she gotta apologize to me, not to you! It wasn't you who got hit by a damn frying pan in the head. And that girl has the strength of a bull, for god's sake, it hurts like hell!"

"She's… known for her strength, you might say." He looked at the window. The sun didn't show just yet. "Why don't we go to the garden, to watch the rise of the sun? It's really beautiful from here."

Gilbert's head was really hurting, but he accepted for he knew there were things to be said. He got up from the bed with some difficulty, but managed to do it. His whole body hurt from last night. When Roderich noticed that, he helped the other get up and walk. It was a nice walk through the gardens, and while they walked the sun made itself more and more visible, giving the sky new colors, until it reached a light blue. They sit on a low wall across of a field of flowers, contemplating the landscape.

None of them talked for a while, but Roderich decided to break the silence.

"Gil, last night… Everything you said. You were right, I didn't want anyone to see me. I wanted them to like me, but… I probably thought they weren't going to like me." He looked ahead. The sun light was still pale, and it shone warmly against the boys. It made them comfortable, also making the morning view look delicate.

"I know I was. I'm always right" He gave a grin to show he was kidding (even though inside he wasn't really). Now they were both looking at each other's eyes.

"Let's take a little walk, shall we?" Roderich stood up and showed his hand to the other boy. When he took it, they started to walk through the gardens in a slow pace. Gilbert looked at everything, every detail, trying to memorize as much as he could of that place. It felt like magic to him, and he didn't want to forget a single leaf, he wanted to keep everything fresh in his mind.

"Your friends already left." Roderich said, after a while. "They were very worried about you; you should let them know you are fine later."

"Yeah, I will." He thought about his friends. After he would send them a letter thanking them for the concern. "Wait, when you saw Francis -the one with long hair- was he with a blonde guy with a grumpy face?"

"I don't know… I think I heard them fighting too, right after our own fight, but later when he came to see you Arthur was with him. I didn't understand it very well"

"Arthur, huh? Well, I'm not even sure that they understand"

They continued walking in silence. Only now it had hit him: Gilbert had to go home. And it would be soon, they were probably going after breakfast. That made his stomach contract itself, his chest hurt, his throat feel sore. He didn't want to leave; he wanted to stay as much as he could with Roderich. All the time he could, bet even so it would not be enough, for he had to part still today. They could always speak through letters; but they are slow and limited. He could not send a hug, nor a kiss through them. He could not feel Roderich through them.

And he remembered how many lovers Roderich had had. Of course he didn't know the number, but for what he had understood his lover was a very experienced man, who'd had many lovers before him. He didn't want Roderich to be unhappy if it meant that he could hold only Gilbert, but it saddened him the most that what he felt for the boy might not be the same thing felt for him. Gilbert probably loved the boy more than the boy would ever like him. He probably had known other people with who he had shared this same feeling, and it probably wasn't this special anymore.

But it was still better to share Roderich than losing him.

Because love is a losing game, and who doesn't play along loses.

They continued to walk, until they heard a strange noise. Gilbert thought it sounded like a dying bird, for such a horrible noise. They looked at each other and followed the sound. Behind a tree, they could see a yellow, very little baby bird, which seemed to have fallen from the nest. It didn't seem like the mother was coming back though, for the nest was all ripped apart.

"This one looks like a survivor" Gilbert said, taking the bird on his hands. As soon as he touched it, it stopped to scream. "Look, he liked me! His name will be… Gilbird!"

"For God's sake, Gilbert, please don't put that name on the poor bird."

"Too late. It's already Gilbird." He said, caressing the birds in his fingers.

"He really seems to like you though. You should keep him."

"Really?! Can I?" Gilbert's crimson eyes glowed as he heard those words.

"Sure, you found him. Let's take him back to the mansion, and when… When you go- You can take him with you" Roderich said, trying to keep a smile on his face.

He didn't know how to tell Gilbert he wanted him to stay, especially because he knew the albino couldn't. It wasn't his choice. This new feeling made Roderich feel uncomfortable; he had never particularly cared about his former lovers going away. He always thought they could come back if they wished so, but the boy before him now was completely different, and that's why he couldn't say anything. He didn't know how.

"Let's get back to the mansion; I think your father will be looking for you. We can give Gilbird a cage then"

Gilbert nodded and they headed back to the house, hands clasped together. The touch was soft, and unlike before, it felt very familiar.

Arriving, Roderich gave a servant their bird, and told her to go look for a cage to put him in. The boys thanked her as she left the hall with the animal. She thought the young master must be in a very good mood, for he never thanked anyone for their work. She gave a little smile as she walked away.

"So, I think I have to go get my stuff now…?" Gilbert said. He didn't know what else to say, since the boy hadn't given him a hint of what to do next.

"The servants will take care of it." He answered, but thought better. "Though, you forgot something in my room. We should go get it."

"Seriously?! I didn't even notice! But, uh… What did I forget, again?"

"Oh, just a pair of your underwear" He said, and gave a wink afterwards. Gilbert blushed, realizing what the other meant.

"O-oh… In that case, we should g-go back and, uh, get it. Shall we?" He said, extending a hand for the other to take.

"Sure thing" Roderich ignored that hand and took his lover's waist, pulling him closer, making their lips touch. Gilbert was surprised by the action, but kissed him back. Roderich had pushed him behind a column and pressed Gilbert's body against it. Gilbert had his hand running through the other's hair, as the kiss became more intense and violent.

Roderich pulled away only to begin kissing the neck crook of the boy, who turned his head to the side, leaving more skin for Roderich's mouth to explore. He accidently moaned, not loud, but loud enough for someone passing by to hear them. They pulled away, and Roderich took Gilbert's wrist.

"Let's go upstairs, your underwear is still in my room" He said, with a smirk.

Roderich's head was lying comfortably on Gilbert's chest. He was concentrated on the boy's heartbeats and realized it was synchronized with his own. It would not be a lie if he said it was the best time he had shared with someone in bed. He had always enjoyed himself, but it was a thousand times better, all the feelings he got were much more intense now, with someone he knew he loved.

They were relaxing, almost sleeping. Gilbert's hand was caressing his lover's head, when they heard a knock at the door. They looked at each other, and a voice started to call out from outside the room.

"Roderich? Are you asleep?" They recognized it as Gilbert's father. They didn't break eye contact. Filled with panic, Roderich pushed Gilbert out of the bed; he articled his mouth telling him to hide under the bed while he pointed with the index finger. Gilbert looked confused but did as the other said.

"Yes Mr. Beilschmidt, you may come in if you wish" The brunette said, sitting up the bed and covering himself with the sheets.

The door cricked and Mr. Beilschmidt made himself visible.

"I'm sorry to wake you up, son, but have you seen Gilbert?"

"I'm afraid I haven't, I'm very sorry, sir."

"Oh, it's fine. If you happen to see him, please tell him to find me. We have to leave very soon." He took a pause, and examined the room ahead of him for some seconds. "You should get up soon, boy. It's already late to wake up"

"Of course" He answered with a smile, until the man closed the door and Gilbert came out of his hiding place and started to dress himself.

"You heard the old man, I should go back soon"

"Yeah" Roderich said, keeping a smile. What was pulling him back from saying what he wanted to? He had never said such things before, as he would do anything to be near his lover, and they could find a way to make it work, even living far away. He was entirely Gilbert's and didn't want to look to no one else, and wanted to hear the same from him. If Gilbert would just say something…

"I'm going to my room to see if everything is alright. You should go downstairs first" He said with a wink and left the room, closing the door behind him.

But why wouldn't Roderich say anything? He was usually the one who wouldn't be embarrassed to say these things. But then he remembered Roderich earlier today, saying he loved him, that he had never felt that way before. Gilbert got happy with that, because now he knew he was special too. His feelings weren't one-sided. And just now he realized: Maybe the boy didn't say anything because of the same reason as him. They were both probably waiting for the other, and gave a bubbly smile; Roderich could be very cute. Still, it made it no easier to say goodbye.

When he was opening his room's door, the servant who took care of Gilbird found its owner, and handed the bird to him gently.

"Oh thanks!" He said, looking at his little friend.

"If you will excuse me now, master" She said, turning back with a gentle smile.

"Wait!" Gilbert said, before she walked away "Do you think you could give me a paper and something to write?"

Gilbert's chariot waited for them in the front of the mansion. Roderich's family was talking with Gilbert's, exchanging compliments and arranging new meetings between them. The boys were quiet, but were side by side.

The luggage was now put in the chariot. The coachman told them everything was ready.

It was Roderich's last chance.

He had to say something before the albino left, or else there was a chance he could lose the only partner he had ever loved. The person who opened his eyes and broke his mask. The words didn't come, no matter how hard he tried. His mouth was open, but there was something blocking his speech. Finally Gilbert looked at him and smiled. He went ahead and entered the vehicle which would bring him home, away from Roderich. He tried to reach out a hand, but his body didn't obey.

In the end, he couldn't say anything.

He went back to his room with the worst feeling he had experienced. His mouth was dry, all his body was limp, he couldn't see very well. It was as if he was about to cry, felt like something was scratching his throat. He entered the room and slammed the door in frustration. Why didn't his body react? Why did he just panic?

He was sitting in the bed, hands sustaining his head. He saw the tears falling in his lap, when he heard something.

Something like a birdcall.

He immediately lifted his head up, and saw in front of him Gilbird's cage resting on a dresser. He stood up, going towards it. As he came closer, he could see a piece of paper. There was something written on it, but he took some time to read it. His tears didn't seem to stop, he laughed dumbly, for he knew it was silly of him. He took the note to his chest and looked at Gilbird. The bird let out a peep, which Roderich could almost swear was a sound of joy.

Roddy,

Take good care of him until I come back, ok? You won't get rid of me so easily. Once you have me , there are no take backs. See you next time!

Forever yours,

Gilbert

So, finally the last chapter! This is the first "long" fic I finished aaaah! I'm glad I could end this, I really thought I would stop it in tehe middle. Thanks for all the supports: everyone who reviewed, followed and favourited! You guys kept this fic going!

I got late to write this because I'm going to travel, but the second after I finished I posted it.

Thanks again for everyone who read this and a special thanks to Fe for revising it for me. There re many parts of this story that wouldn't make any sense without you 3

See you next time~