Yo. Here's something that just popped in my head and made me laugh so I had to write it! lol enjoy.

There were three things in life a mother never wants to hear: one, your daughter was arrested last week; two, your daughter is 16 and pregnant and now has AIDS; and three, "Heeeeeyyy mom, you know my friend Sasuke? Yeah? Great well uh, I'm dating his brother, who is about five years older than me, and is also my English teacher. Heh heh small world right?"

Saya Haruno growled and ceased tapping her blood red fingernail against the kitchen counter. The neon green numbers of the microwave clock flashed to 5:25. Five minutes until her precious baby girl will bring that cradle snatching teacher she calls a boyfriend, over to meet mommy. The young woman of thirty-six licked her lips slowly in a predatory fashion. Her daughter may be eighteen and therefore legally an adult, but that changed nothing in Saya's book. Apparently this Itachi person was "a highly accomplished genius who graduated college early and will be taking over the family company that is worth billions." she quoted sourly. If he was so freaking accomplished then why on earth was he teaching English at her daughters school? "Its so he could keep a better eye on Sasuke mom, he's very protective of him. It's sooo cute." Saya groaned and bashed her head on the counter top. If only her big sister were in town; not only did Sakura adore her aunt and practically worship the ground she walked on, that woman was terrifying. It would be as easy as melting butter to scare off this 'English *coughcradlerobbercough* teacher' in the defense of her precious niece. However her beloved older sister was away at an "extremely important medical conference that will determine whether or not the new vaccine for the swine flu will be given to the public."

Lies. She's probably blowing her cash somewhere at a casino, getting her ass handed to her in a card game, and drinking herself into a stupor.

Damn that Tsunade.

Poor cousin Shizune.

Saya's head jerked up as the sound of a car door being slammed echoed from outside. Making her way into the living room, she peaked through the curtains and saw a sleek, shiny, black, expensive, looking car parked in her driveway. "Oh my Kami-sama! He's a criminal too!" she thought horrified. As footsteps approached the front door, the silver haired woman threw herself into the kitchen and pulled out a carrot, inconspicuously chopping it into small bits. The door opened, "Mom, I'm home! And I brought Itachi for you to meet!" Saya grimaced and quickly schooled her features. Putting on a polite smile she walked into the living room, "Sakura-chan!" she cooed. "I'm so happy you brought Itachi-san here so I could meet-"

She felt her jaw promptly make its aquaintance with the ground as she openly stared at the man, no model her daughter had obviously kidnapped. This couldn't be that Itachi fellow she had heard her sweet angel babble on about!

This man was a GOD!

He was tall, probably around six foot three, and had long, black hair pulled into a neat ponytail at the nape of his neck. Dark, midnight blue, nearly black eyes, framed by the longest eyelashes EVER, glanced at her in barely concealed confusion. Visible stress lines slid diagonally down the bridge of his nose but somehow managed to enhance his handsome features and give him a mature appearance. His body, oh Kami she was NOT drooling at the sight of this man who was thirteen years her junior, was lean and muscular without an over exaggerated build. A well sculpted six pack was easily visible through his grey muscle shirt and he had long slender fingers. She did a double take, DAMN that boy had a FINE ass. Her only thought besides this incredibly sexy man, who was sadly not her age, and was standing in the middle of her living room was: "OH. MY. KAMI! I am going to have the most beautiful grandchildren EVER! Finally I can rub it in that stupid cousin Koran's face that my daughter will produce more gorgeous babies than her stupid daughter Karin! What am I waiting for?! Let's get these grandchildren on the way!"

Sakura coughed awkwardly as her mother continued to gape at her boyfriend. "Mom?" she questioned. Saya snapped to attention and quickly rushed over, "It's such a pleasure Itachi-san! WELCOME TO THE FAMILY!" she exclaimed while rapidly shaking his hand. He eyed her curiously. "Thank you Haruno-san. It is an honor to finally meet you." "Haha call me Saya, Itachi-san! Anyways Sakura-chan, I uh, have to be leaving now!" Sakura glanced at her in confusion, "But we just got here?" Saya giggled nervously. "Yes well uh, I just remembered that, I have to go uh, help A CUSTOMER GET SETTLED IN THEIR NEW HOME! Yes I have to help them so I'll be gone for uh, A WEEK! Yep a whole week! I wouldn't want you to be lonely so Itachi-san can stay with you! There's five hundred cash in the cookie jar, the fridge is stocked, movies on the shelf, and condomsareinthedrawerbutwhon eedscondems?honestlyyou'remuchbetteroffwithoutthem!havefun !" With that the mother scurried out of the door, only after asking what Itachi's address was "just in case". The two remaining occupants of the house blinked then glanced at each other. "What was that last part?" The Uchiha questioned. Sakura shrugged. "I'm not quite sure to be honest, but I think she liked you!" Itachi shrugged his shoulders and embraced his girlfriend, resting his chin on top of her head.

Saya sped down the dark road, her rusty truck well exceeding the speed limit of sixty miles per hour. As the approaching house came into view, she slammed on the brakes and skidded into the driveway. She threw herself out of the truck and sprinted up the driveway. When she was close enough, she reached out and banged her fist loudly on the door. She quickly composed herself and waited patiently. The door opened tentatively and a beautiful, dark haired woman poked her head out shyly. "Yes?" she asked. "Mikoto Uchiha?" she questioned with a straight face. The woman nodded. "Saya Haruno. We have some serious business to talk about." At the familiar last name, Mikoto's face split into a big grin. "Do come in Saya-san!"

Mikoto squealed in excitement. "Really! You left them alone! What a splendid idea! Oh Kami-sama these are going to be beautiful grandchildren!" Saya nodded sagely. "Not only that, but I have cameras planted everywhere around and in my house. We won't miss a thing if we hook this cord up to a computer or two." That said she produced a long silver cord with several attachments from her purse. "KYAA! I CAN'T WAIT!" The Uchiha matriarch shrieked.

A few minutes later the two women were seated in front of several computers, tubs of various ice cream flavors surrounded them and snacks were piled high around them. When the cord was plugged in, an hour glass sign blinked on screen before an image of the Haruno household was shown. Mikoto giggled excitedly as Itachi and Sakura were seen sitting on the couch together. The two young mothers leaned close to the screen, intently observing what would undoubtedly be the creation of their new grandchildren. Seconds passed, then minutes, finally half an hour passed. Saya sighed irritably, "Why are they just sitting there?" "Are our children socially and sexually awkward?!" Mikoto cried mournfully. Both women exchanged a glance before bursting into tears. "At this rate we'll never get grandkids!" Saya cried while Mikoto sobbed into her shoulder. As they blew their noses into hankies, a movement on the screen startled them back into attention. Itachi had turned toward Sakura, he leaned in closer. Saya and Mikoto stared and waited with baited breath. Itachi brushed his hand over her shoulder. "You had a piece of lint on your shoulder." he murmured. Sakura blushed. "Thank you. Your so sweet." she cooed.

Mikoto and Saya collapsed. "WHAT THE HELL!" They screeched. "WHERE'S THE STEAMY ACTION, THE ROMANCE, THE SENSUALITY!" Their chests heaved after their rant. "Is this what kids do nowadays? Back in our day, there used to be parties. Drinking, drugs and sex was an everyday thing! Where did we go wrong in our parenting?" Saya sobbed. Mikoto rubbed her back sympathetically. "That's how it still is, our precious angels are just too, too, too..." Mikoto trailed off searching for the right word. "Prudish." They chorused. "Saving virginity for marriage." Mikoto scoffed. "That's what Fugaku drilled into Itachi-kun's head." Saya rubbed her eyes. "How ridiculous. They're obviously made for each other so they should just fuck like bunnies." "Yeah!" Mikoto yelped. "Who needs ideals and morals anyways!?" The women turned their attention back to the screen, glaring at it. It seems Itachi and Sakura were now watching a movie. "How cliche, they really are terrible at this." Mikoto moaned. Saya blinked. "Hold on, that's one of my old steamy romance movies! Really hot stuff in there. My old boyfriends used to try and watch 'em with me so they could get some. And I would always put them in different movie cases so Sakura-chan wouldn't accidentally stumble on them." Mikoto's eyes widened. "That means there's still hope for them! YES!" Squealing happily and clapping their hands, the mothers waited excitedly for the action to come.

Sasuke was confused. He hadn't seen his aniki in hours and couldn't help but wonder where he had gone. Not that he was worried or anything. He just wanted to make sure that he wouldn't be back anytime soon so Sasuke could eat the leftover dango without being mauled. Yeah, that was it. As he passed one of the various media rooms in the Uchiha mansion, he heard high pitched squeals from the other side of the door. He paused. One of those was undoubtedly his mother but the other, he had no idea. Curiosity peaked, he opened the door and poked his head in. The sight that greeted him was enough to make him nearly vomit. There was his mother and another unknown woman with silver hair staring intently at a screen. It wasn't this rather unusual scene that made his stomach turn unpleasantly though, it was the image on the screen. There was his beloved aniki and his best friend Sakura, making out on a couch. Sakura's hands were making their way under Itachi's shirt while Itachi's hands ever so slightly dipped below the waistband of her skirt, Sakura moaned. Sasuke's face paled dramatically. He wouldn't be able to look either in the eye for months. "Saya-chan you are amazing!" His mother chirped. "Please, Mikoto-chan you're quite amazing yourself!" The woman apparently named Saya replied. "Mother?" Sasuke croaked. Large, black eyes turned to him. "Ah Sasu-chan! How are you?" His mother cooed. The silver haired woman turned towards him, familiar bright green eyes surveying him with curiosity. Mikoto giggled. "Oops, I almost forgot. Saya-chan this is Sasuke-kun, my youngest." Saya's eyes lit up with recognition. "Oh, so you're Sakura-chan's friend Sasuke!" Sasuke blanched, so that was why she looked familiar, this was Sakura's mom.

Great.

His mother, Sakura's mother, and a screen with video of Sakura and Itachi that was rapidly crossing the PG boundary, this didn't look good. "Mother, what are you doing?" He asked, afraid to hear the answer. "Watching the knitting channel." Both mothers replied automatically. Behind them a pleasure filled moan sounded from the screen. Sasuke twitched. "Riiight." he drawled. "Would Father approve of this 'knitting channel' mother?" Mikoto's eyes widened and the next thing he knew, a tub of ice-cream smacked Sasuke right in the middle of his face. It slowly fell from his face and with a squishy plop sound, the tub landed on the floor. The Uchiha matriarch's eyes blazed. "Fugaku-kun would approve because he isn't going to know. Right Sasu-chan?" She purred. Sasuke gulped. "Yes mother." She smiled threateningly. "Good boy! Now run along Sasu-chan, Mommy and Saya-chan are having an important meeting." Sasuke nodded. He would have to apologize to Itachi and Sakura later. Another loud moan sounded. Twitch. Scratch that, as soon as he could look at them again without puking he would apologize.

Fugaku Uchiha considered himself a lucky man. He had a great job and a wonderful family. Even though sometimes he was a little harsh on his sons, he felt they were on their way to achieving great things. He couldn't help but smirk a bit with pride, obviously they were on their way to great things because of his wonderful teachings. As he hummed a quiet tune on his way home from work, he noticed a sleek black car parked in a driveway. His humming ceased. He wondered why on earth his eldest son was currently at an unknown house at nearly eleven at night. He gasped horrified. He couldn't be with a, a, a! The word was almost to much to spit out. A GIRLFRIEND! There he thought it. His eyes narrowed then widened. He chuckled to himself. Itachi, out late at a girlfriend's house, Fugaku had taught him better than that. After all it was the most important lesson he taught his sons, save your virginity for marriage. But, it wouldn't hurt to check on his son anyways. With that, he turned into the driveway and shut off his car.

Saya's eyes widened as she observed the scene on on of the various computers. A bit of panic crept into her tone as she shook Mikoto's shoulder. "There's someone approaching the door! It's going to kill the moment if they knock or ring the bell!" Mikoto gasped upon seeing her husbands face. "What is Fugaku doing there!" she shrieked. Quickly she fumbled for the phone in her pocket and pressed one on the speed dial list. Holding the device to her ear she waited.

As Fugaku climbed the numerous steps up to the door, he couldn't help but notice how badly his back hurt. When he got home he would be able to eat some of his wife's delicious food then maybe convince her to massage his back. She was such an angel she probably wouldn't mind. His phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out, smiling softly as he saw who was calling. Speaking of his beautiful, sweet, nurturing wife. "Hello Hime." he greeted sweetly. "FUGAKU UCHIHA!" A frightening voice thundered. He nearly dropped his phone in surprise. "M-mikoto?" he stammered. "Fugaku I don't care what you are doing, you come home NOW." Forgetting his son Fugaku scrambled down the steps, threw himself into his car after yanking the door open, and sped quickly down the road. Mikoto turned toward Saya with a big grin on her face. The silver haired woman applauded respectively. Both turned back to the screen eagerly.

It had taken six long hours, several close-calls, bribing (really threatening) Sasuke, and all the will-power of the two stubborn mothers but they had finally done it. Their socially, not to mention sexually, awkward children had finally, finally, stopped being prudes and 'got some' to put it loosely. Now that the hard part was over, all they had to do was wait for results. The two mothers sighed tiredly. Anything for the prospect of grandkids, they supposed.

"And that's how you were conceived!" Saya finished dramatically while Mikoto cheered. As they came out of their story telling stupor, the two women took notice of the horrified expressions on their (absolutely GORGEOUS) grand-children's faces. The fraternal twins were speechless for a moment. Amaterasu tucked a long strand of red-blonde hair behind her ear, a nervous habit. "M-Mother and Father, they weren't even married when Mother was pregnant?" she stammered. "Not only that, but they had only been dating for three months?" Tsukiyomi finished his sisters thought incredulously, bright green eyes widening while he shook his long, black hair in disbelief. Amaterasu's dark eyes filled with tears. "Were we an accident?!" she shrieked. "Uhh." Both grandmothers trailed off. On that note the door opened. "We're back." came Sakura's bell-like voice. As she and Itachi stepped into the living room she noticed her two children's teary faces and her mother and mother-in-law's sheepish expressions. Her eyes narrowed. "You didn't." she said, shocked. "Uhh." came the same response. The two children burst into tears and ran into the other room. "Ah shit." Sakura swore, dashing into the room to comfort her two eleven year olds. Itachi stared at the other two occupants in the room. He sighed as his children's shrieks could be heard. "DO YOU AND FATHER EVEN LOVE EACH OTHER?" came Amaterasu's cry. "OF COURSE WE DO!" came Sakura's exasperated yell. "Mother does this make you a whore?" came Tsukiyomi's somewhat calm question. Dead silence. "WHERE IN THE HELL DID YOU LEARN THAT WORD! I BET IT WAS THAT FUCKING HIDAN! ITACHI YOUR BASTARD FRIEND IS TEACHING OUR KIDS FUCKING EXPLICITS!" "UNCLE HIDAN DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG! HOW COULD YOU LEAVE SOMETHING AS IMPORTANT AS YOU NOT EVEN BEING IN A STEADY RELATIONSHIP WHEN WE WERE BORN, OUT OF OUR KNOWLEDGE!" Amaterasu screeched. Itachi sighed and felt the sudden urge to make his head acquainted with the nice-looking brick wall in their kitchen. He glared at his mother and mother-in-law. "You two are never babysitting again." his deep baritone announced. Both women pouted as more shrieks and screams could be heard from the other room.

haha the end. I hope you guys enjoy this. It was making me laugh while writing and was a good little stress relief. Don't worry for those of you who are waiting for chapter one of the rewritten 'Untitled', i swear i'm almost done. I'm just being a lazy-ass and taking a long time to do it. Anyways, until next time everyone!