Be Dave Karofsky.

What the hell man? I'm sorry, Karofsky's a totally cool guy, but don't you want to see what happens between the ladies?

Fine, fine.

Be Brittany Pierce.

You're Brittany Pierce, and you'd pretty much slap yourself if you weren't in front of this really hot girl you've been chatting with semi-anonymously since yesterday.

You told her you were both unicorns.

Gog damn it.

People never get you, so they just jump to the conclusion that you're stupid. Usually, you're okay with this (people give more leeway to those who they think don't know better you know; you can get away with almost anything) but you really don't want to mess up your chances with this girl.

Hell, even when you haven't seen her yet, you thought she was nice and cool and smart and you thought out a lot before typing down whatever you wanted to say.

Now that you have (dayum), you want to play your cards straight.

Hehehe.

Straight.

Wait. Okay. How do you remedy this?

"Well, technically, I'm a bicorn."

NO!

saldmklamdklmklasmdkldamsdak mdakslmdlkas

/headdesk headdesk headdesk

You see her smile, and your heart rises and sinks at the same time, because first of all she's not running away from you or looking at you with disdain, and she just looks really, really pretty when she smiles, but at the same time you think that maybe she thinks you're stupid and she's smiling at you with amusement, or pity, or some other thing which you can't name because gah

"Just—just forget I said that," you say lamely.

She does this cute thing with her face like she's asking you why she should with her heavenly facial features.

"No, no, I totes gets. You're bisexual and I'm a lesbian, and that's a pretty cool way of putting it. Unicorns are awesome."

You breathe a sigh of relief and your heart dances in circles because hahaha she gets it like what even?

Nobody has before, and the first time someone does, it's this girl, who's super smart and sexy and pretty and nice and you don't know what you're feelings are doing anymore.

You look up, and you notice she's staring at you (!). She catches you catching her staring and she blinks her eyes.

"It's just," she starts out, flustered. You made her flustered. You.

"It's just that besides being two-horned a bicorn also eats up good husbands and I was wondering if you did that too..."

Gog, that is so cute and adorbz, and dskjfnskdjfn how can she be hot and sexy and cute and adorbz at the same time?! Totally unfair.

She cringes, and you're pretty sure that's how you look like when you mentally slap a palm to your face.

Ehrmegad she cares about what you think of her.

"...actually," she starts out slowly, "I was imagining you in a bicorne hat, like what Napoleon wore. You'd look...cute."

You're pretty sure that's a blush on her face right now, and you want to scream, because not only do you have a chance with her, you have a pretty good one, and you have to restrain yourself from initiating sloppy makeouts.

"You'd look cute too," you reciprocate, and she totally would. You could just imagine her in a hat and uniform (unf) riding a majestically white unicorn, leading a thousand Lord Tubbingtons into battle and...

Wow, okay, you're hungry. Deliriously hungry even.

"You don't have any food on you, do you?" you ask, before you start hallucinating.

"No. I do know a place though."

"Here?"

You're skeptical, because the only things you've seen here are buried statues and dark marble and black skies.

"Yeah. You have a ride? Skateboard, bike, roller skates?"

"Actually, I do. Why?"

"We'd have to walk pretty far otherwise."

"Coolio."

You take out your tablet (your fetch modus is Pictionary), and doodle a motorbike. It materializes in front of you and Santana. You start walking towards it when you notice that Santana looks apprehensive. You almost laugh, because you just saw her take out a dozen imps with a pair of scissors, and she's scared of riding a motorbike?

"Don't worry," you say, "it isn't as scary as it seems."

"I'm not scared," she scoffs, and a corner of your mouth goes up.

"Then come on then," you reply, getting on the bike.

You wait a couple of moment before you the bike shifts, and you feel arms wrapped around your waist.

Gog.

You hope she doesn't notice your heart beat faster, or that unintentional gulp you did when she pressed herself close to you.

"Just go straight ahead," she says. "Now turn this damn thing on."

You do as she tells you too, and soon the two of you are travelling towards that place with food.

Being hungry and hormonal isn't a good mix, you decide.

"Where are we going, exactly?"

"A forest. Made of bread. I saw it from the Buddha head, and I passed by one earlier, so I'm pretty sure it's edible."

"Hmmmm."

The marble underneath is smoother than what you're used to. You skid a little, and Santana tightens her hold around you, buries her face in your hair, and even does this tiny squeak, and gog she really shouldn't be doing that because you need all the focus you can get, but she's so gogdamn cute and focus Brittany, focus.

"Maybe we should walk," she says, her voice muffled.

"I just need to get a feel for this; trust me."

You expect her to argue back, but instead she just shifts a little, and somehow holds you closer.

"I do."