A/N: This is my first foray into Fan Fiction, and I'd like to say it's completely new for me. I was inspired to write this after I re-watched all of the seasons, and it felt to me like Raven and Robin were a much more interesting couple than Robin and Starfire. I would expect there to be a lot of angst, as both characters are dark, introspective, and not prone to sharing how they feel. I'll always welcome any criticism, and I intend to stick to the show's universe, as I know little to nothing about the comics. With that said, read on.

Disclaimer: I never have, nor ever will, own the Teen Titans, or any DC related heroes/villains/scenarios. I thank Warner Bros. for letting me mess with their world.

Prologue

It was a crush. That's all. Nothing more, nothing less. That's what she kept telling herself; what she had to keep telling herself. Crushes led to infatuation, to longing, to lust, to…well, emotions. Emotions that she needed to control. If she ever lost control… No. She would not lose control now, not after finally defeating her inner demons. Literally.

It was a girlish crush. It had begun as all crushes do: simple desire. And who wouldn't desire him? He was suave, confident, built, heroic, and handsome. That's all anyone saw. Hell, he had entire fan clubs devoted to his physical attributes alone. He was the leader; the one who had seen them all through hell and back. It was only natural to be attracted to confidence, especially when it was the cornerstone of their whole team.

It was a foolish crush. When could a guy so bold and mysterious ever have time for her? It was only natural that the dashing hero saved the beautiful damsel and lived happily ever after. That was the story, wasn't it? It was every foolish story she'd ever read. But real life doesn't have happy endings. People come, and people go. The hero and the damsel leave the rest of the world to fend for themselves, never truly noticing the others they passed along the way.

It was an endearing crush. In one of his darkest hours, she was there for him. She went where others could not go and pulled him back from the brink of insanity, but did he notice her? Perhaps, but not in the way she had dreamed. In her darkest hour, when the world had literally gone to hell, he was there for her. He went where others dared not to go and inspired hope in a hopeless wasteland.

It was just a crush. But as much as Raven tried to deny it, tried to hide it, tried to forget it, her crush had evolved. A simple girlish crush had grown and bloomed into feelings she had never felt before, dangerous feelings that threatened to spiral out of control and crash through her carefully constructed walls. It was not just a crush. It was more. And it was terrifying. She was in love with her dashing leader, the Boy Wonder himself: Robin.

Control.

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos."

Again.

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos."

The mantra was her focus; her stepping-stone into herself. Whether she desired to reach inside for the power to hurl a car into an enemy or simply to find her center and meditate, those words allowed her to block the outside world and all of its influences.

Breathing deeply, Raven began to calm the thoughts and feelings rampaging around inside her head. Within minutes, she was calm, quiet, and emotionless. She was one with herself, and her powers. Everything was alright with the world at that moment.

But the world wasn't alright a short time ago. Not even a full week had passed since the Teen Titans had fought valiantly against the demon Trigon, destroying him and reverting the world back to normal. Well, it wasn't so much the Titans as it was Raven. And it wasn't so much her as it was him…

Raven gritted her teeth and tried to banish the thought from her mind.

Control.

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos."

Again.

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos."

Why? Why him? Why now? What changed?

Frustrated, Raven tried to collect her fragmented thoughts. What better place to start, then at the beginning?

When Raven joined the Titans, she knew that she would have to be in control at all times. When you're half-demon, and letting any emotion run rampant could spell destruction on a global scale, there was no room for mistakes. The monks of Azar had taught her how to separate her emotions and control them, fearing that even letting her experience an emotion could mean their doom. Because of her training, she had a tendency to appear detached and cold, picking apart every feeling like it were a specimen on a dissection table. To the others, Beast Boy especially, she seemed cynical and depressive, enjoying only the suffering of herself and the others, unable to relate to any of them.

She was a bitch. But she didn't want to be. It was her only choice, besides losing control and potentially killing someone. She feigned indifference, and used biting wit to keep others away because she cared about her friends and was scared that letting them in could lead to their demise. Raven was okay with being isolated in her room with only her books to keep her company if it meant her friends lived another day, she only wished someone would understand.

And then Beast Boy and Cyborg got ahold of her portal to Nevermore: the astral projection of her mind. And then Starfire and Raven switched bodies. Slowly, the others began to see why she isolated herself. They even saw what happens when an emotion gets out of control, after the scary movie had caused her powers to manifest monsters worthy of nightmares. But no one truly understood. She was demonic. She was an abomination that would bring about the end of the world. If they ever knew the truth…

But they didn't. No one ever would, until he went and messed it all up. When she met him, Robin was cocky and thickheaded, but he was strong and capable as their leader. He was also attractive, and she had allowed herself to be amused by his looks and attitude. She figured that a light crush couldn't hurt, that it was easily controlled, and that it would pass in time, the way any crush would. She was almost right, as it seemed Robin wasn't interested in her when he had the beautiful redheaded space alien occupying his thoughts. Raven had just about accepted him as a friend, when he just had to lose it.

Robin had been driven mad from a chemical he had inhaled from Slade's broken suit. The substance created a vision of Slade that couldn't be defeated, and it was ripping Robin apart from the inside. In a last ditch effort, Raven had sent her soul-self into his mind, and was able to see how real the projection of Slade truly was to Robin. But on the way, she passed memories. A darkened cave, a cascade of bats, a cowl, the mask, a circus, a broken trapeze. These memories had such darkness to them, such pain, such loneliness. Suddenly she understood why he was so thickheaded and stubborn, why he had to be the best, why he couldn't tolerate failure. She had always figured he was just a stubborn boy who was always dealing with the shadow cast by the Caped Crusader; that he wanted to rebel and be a big boy doing his own thing. She hadn't known it was as much of a mask as the one he wore to conceal his identity

From that day on, the two became closer. The magic she used to enter his mind created a powerful bond between them. She was able to read his emotions more clearly than anyone else, and her powers seemed to unconsciously have tabs on him at all times. Though he never brought up his past, and she never mentioned her demonic heritage, Robin and Raven knew each other better than anyone. Yet, each kept up their respective walls, never truly letting the other in, though they may have gotten close a couple of times.

It was not until Raven's sixteenth birthday that everything began to unravel. Slade came back leading her father's demonic army, she ushered the destroyer of worlds into her realm, and life as we know it ceased to exist. Then Robin found her, brought her back, and helped her find the power inside herself to undo all the evil her father had ushered in. It was then that she knew her feelings for Robin had grown. It was inevitable. He swooped down like a knight in shining armor to save the day. It was every girl's fantasy, right? But not hers.

She cared for him. That much was true, and it was enough to make her frustrated as hell. But Raven was no damsel in distress. She was a powerful sorceress, and he was a boy with a bunch of fancy gadgets. She wouldn't be impressed with his dashing heroics and overprotective angles. She wasn't. So why did she care?

Because there's more to him beneath the masks he wears. She knew that. No one else did. And that was what was infatuating. She wanted to know who he really was beneath his mask of confidence. And now that she wouldn't fly off the handle, she would find out.

At least, she hoped.

Chapter 1: The Fall

Flight. It was a sensation unlike any other. The weightlessness as she soared through the air was addictive. Adrenaline poured through her veins as she effortlessly transitioned from her flight into a flip. As she caught the swing that rose up to meet her, the crowd cheered below. It filled her with a sense of pride. There she was. Above them all. And they loved her. She could do anything. She was invinci-

Wait.

Raven could only fly through levitating. It required intense concentration and was not a process that was made for her enjoyment. So why was she soaring through the air like a bird?

I must be dreaming, she mused, but these are unlike any dreams I've ever had.

Lucid dreaming was a normal thing for Raven. If she had a nightmare and didn't have control, she could release something in her sleep. Therefore, she was trained to recognize signs that she was dreaming so that she could control it, if necessary.

Raven took a deep breath and tried to levitate towards the ground, breaking the illusion of flight and the crowd. She focused all of her thoughts on a cool, black, emotionless abyss, intending to transition from sleep to meditation. Usually, this would cause her dream to fade away as she regained consciousness. This time, nothing happened. The dream continued on, uninhibited. Raven was still swinging from trapeze to trapeze, listening to the crowd gasp in reverence.

Raven closed her eyes, and tried again, this time muttering her mantra. "Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos. Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos. Azarath, Metrion, Zin-"

Her eyes snapped open as the audience roared in tumultuous applause. Now she was looking down on the scene high above the trapeze artists. For whatever reason, she couldn't control the dream, or even end it. Frustrated, Raven prepared to pull herself out of sleep entirely, but something caught her eye.

A young trapeze artist waved at the crowd below. The boy had jet-black hair with a muscled upper body and a familiar outfit… In fact, he looked an awful lot like…

Raven's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets when she realized who it was: Robin. Somehow she had entered his dream. She tried to focus on the only familiar figure in this dream, but Robin had disappeared. She scanned the nests where the performers rested, but only a smiling couple waited above. Suddenly, she heard him cry out, "No!'

He was on the ground, now fully matured and in his iconic suit. He had whipped out his grappling hook and had fired it around the top of the nest. Yet the smiling couple did not seem to hear. They waved to the crowd, and began their routine. They were perfect, graceful, and their skill showed as they flew from swing to swing, diving, flipping, and catching one another.

Robin's grappling hook should have pulled him to the top in second flat, but the closer he got to his destination, the slower his ascent became. Raven watched as the couple reached for the next swing, and it broke in their hands. Robin's wordless scream echoed through the tent as the couple plummeted to the ground below. Raven reached for her powers to save the couple, but realized that she couldn't alter this dream. She lowered her head and turned away from the grisly scene of their impact.

Robin finally reached the top and sunk to his knees. The lights went out, the dream shifted and Robin was no longer kneeling high above a circus, but trapped inside a sprawling darkness. A malicious cackle boomed out, seemingly from all sides at once, "Oh, poor little Robin. That was quite a fall! But don't you worry about it; you know you couldn't save them. You couldn't even save yourself."

The white face of a clown materialized out of the blackness, but this face was cruel, scarred, and insane. Raven knew of this face, but only from reputation. Who hadn't heard of the notorious Joker? Robin and Batman had put him away numerous times, yet it seemed that remnants of numerous encounters with the madman still bothered Robin.

Robin started, shocked that the Joker was in his dream. Robin looked for his weapon, but found none. "Get out," he spat venomously at the Joker.

The Joker chuckled, "Lighten up, Robby! Look on the bright side! Birds of a feather fall together!"

The Joker erupted into howling laughter, as Robin roared and ran at him. Without warning, a towering figure rose out of the darkness; a dark cowl with glowing slits for eyes. The eyes narrowed and swept Robin into the darkness, dragging him away from the ghostly apparition. As the Joker's head vanished, Robin stood alone in the darkness, falling to his knees once again. "I'm sorry," he muttered. "I'm so sorry. I wasn't fast enough. I wasn't able to warn you. I couldn't save you. I'm sorry."

A tear rolled down his cheek, and Raven simply couldn't stay on the sideline anymore. She glided towards him, intent on comforting him somehow. Robin looked up, suddenly seeing Raven for the first time. His eyebrows furrowed; confused, he opened his mouth to speak, but the darkness crashed down on them both, throwing Raven out of his head and back to the world of the living.

Raven awoke with a start, sitting bolt upright in bed. The dream had been so vivid and real, that standing on the sidelines had even caused her distress. She slowed her breathing, and tried to find her center.

After spending a few minutes meditating, Raven was able to analyze the events that occurred. Now she understood the significance of the broken trapeze she had seen in Robin's head long ago. Those two performers meant something to him, and he blamed himself for their accident related death. The Joker was the manifestation of his doubt, and the Cowl she could only imagine was his mentor. But who were the doomed performers? What connection did they have to the young Titan?

Her stomach rumbled, breaking her concentration. Though she could have ignored the problem, Raven figured it would be easier to concentrate with no distractions potentially looming over her. Maybe some tea could take the edge off of her hunger. She rose, dressed in her customary leotard and cloak, and ventured out of her room.

Judging by how quiet it was, Raven guessed it was quite early in the morning. As she reached the kitchen, her guess was confirmed by the slowly brightening sky. It was still dark enough to be considered nighttime, but the light had just begun to turn black clouds grey.

Raven found the cupboard with the dry cereals, granola bars, teabags, and other various foods left open, so she helped herself to a teabag. An opened cereal box was on the table, complete with a full bowl and a gallon of milk. Yet the owner of the meal was nowhere to be found. Raven already knew who the meal belonged to, and she had an idea as to where he was.

After putting the kettle on, waiting for the water to boil, and pouring herself a cup of tea, Raven left the kitchen in search of their leader. She glided up the stairs to the roof, and slowly turned the doorknob leading outside. Just like she knew he would be, Robin sat on the edge of the tower, looking out onto the horizon. He was not clad in his signature red and green suit, but a simple white t-shirt and jeans. As the door clicked, he slipped his hand into his pocket and pulled out his mask, quickly attaching it to his face. He did not look at her as she approached, but he did nod at her as she sat down next to him. "Raven."

"Robin," she replied, following his gaze out towards the skyline. "You're up early."

"Couldn't sleep," he replied nonchalantly. "Besides, I like watching the sunrise."

Raven nodded, knowing if he wanted to speak to her he would. She wasn't going to try and beat it out of him, though there were questions she was dying to ask.

They sat there in silence as the first tendrils of sunlight burst out into the sky, with only the quiet sounds of her sipping her tea to break the silence.

"You're up early too," he said, breaking the silence and tearing his eyes away from the first light of day.

She shrugged, and motioned to her cup. Robin nodded, his thoughts elsewhere.

"Everything alright?" she inquired.

He didn't look at her. "Yeah," he mumbled. "Fine."

Raven decided, after a couple more minutes of silence passed between them, that it was time to take a risk. She took a deep breath, and turned to face him. "Robin, I… I wanted to thank you again."

Robin's eyebrows rose. He returned her gaze and opened his mouth, but Raven cut him off. "I know I've said it already, but if it weren't for you I'd still be stuck as a scared, confused little girl in a horrible waking nightmare."

Robin shrugged. "It wasn't just me. Our friends helped too. I couldn't have found you if it weren't for their distraction-"

"No, Robin," Raven interrupted him. "My father knew about your little journey from the beginning. He chose to let it happen because he was overconfident. The others helped, but none of what they did actually distracted him. If you didn't find me and help me realize there was still hope, you'd all be dead. It was our bond that helped me remember anything in the first place."

Robin nodded, but tried to shrug the praise off. "Well, I would have done it for anyone. I wouldn't let anyone on my team be alone in a time like that."

The sun finally broke free and light cascaded over the water. Dawn's light caused the two Titans to stop and look over the sea for a couple minutes. Robin closed his eyes, and absentmindedly rubbed his forehead. Raven lowered her head, collecting her thoughts. Well, here goes nothing.

Raven looked directly into his eyes. "Robin, you might not be able to save everyone, but you saved me."

Robin's eyebrows narrowed. "I know I can't save everyone. I'm not a child."

That wasn't the answer Raven expected. Her violet eyes darkened. "I wasn't calling you a child, Robin. I was trying to thank you for saving my damn life. Forget I said anything."

Robin scowled. "Listen, I appreciate your thanks, but they're unwarranted. I would have done the same for anyone. I don't need you to thank me."

Raven opened her mouth to retort, but Robin turned on her. "Besides, what do you mean, I can't save everyone? What are you trying to say?"

"I'm trying to say thank you! Can't you even accept a damn compliment?! I know you beat yourself up if anyone ever gets hurt, but you can't save everyone! You couldn't save those people on the trapeze, but you saved an entire fucking city! I think that makes up for it!"

Robin's eyes widened for a split second, then narrowed sharply. "So you were in my dream last night," he growled, clenching his fist.

Shit. "Robin, I-"

"No. I don't want to hear it." Robin stood abruptly, and walked towards the door. When he reached it opened it and turned towards her. "Do me a favor, and stay the fuck out of my head," he snarled, then slammed the door behind him.