Me: Hello. I feel bad for not updating Shunkō Shinobi and Shinigami Through Time And Space, but I had a bad case of the "Selective Plot Bunnies/Writer's Block". Where you can't write what you want to, but you can write anything else. And so this was born.

Sayo: We may be doing other Harry Potter and Bleach crossover, but for now, Return of the Soul Reapers will have to do. Also, this blatantly ignores the fact that Harry Potter is set before Bleach. We'll just pretend that in the last centaury the human race hasn't progressed much.

Me: Our stories—

Fred: Were inspired—

George: By all of you—

Fred: Loony—

George: Demented—

Me: But wonderful—

Fred & George: Readers!

Sayo: *facepalm* Yare yare, get on with it!

Me: I don't own Harry Potter or Bleach, otherwise Fred, Lupin, Sirius, Tonks, Hedwig, Dumbledore, Snape, Gin-san, Ulqui-chan, Spoon-kun, Starrk-san and Lilynette-chan would be alive. Grimmkitty-sama wouldn't have been ambushed by Spoon-kun and would've been ranked higher than 6. IchiRuki and YoruHara would be canon and my OCs would be actual characters. Also—

Sayo: Oi! Urusai! *turns to readers* Ah, gomen. My creator tends to ramble in her Author's Notes.

Me: *dejectedly* But, Sayo-chan—!

Sandira: URUSAI! I can hear you all the way from Shinigami Through Time and Space!

Me: San-san! YOU CAME!

Sandira: Foreign Translations are at the end of the chapter.

Prologue: Hidden From View

"Yuzu! Karin!" An orange-haired teen ran towards to two young girls, about the same height, one with blonde hair and the other with raven hair.

"Ichi-nii!" The light-haired one called out.

"Come here, I've got someone who'd like to meet you."

The twins exchanged glances, and then the dark-haired one frowned at him.

"I thought we met all the Ryoka, high-ranking officers and your other friends, though?"

"Well, this friend has been…unavailable…we've never got along, but we decided to come to terms with each other during the War. Anyway, you've never met face to face, but he's seen you enough times…"

"Who is it, Ichi-nii?"

"His name," the orange-haired boy said, "is Ogichi Shirosaki."

And he turned a corner in the impossible maze that was the Seireitei, revealing a colorless copy of him, with golden black eyes.

"Yer King's siblin's?"

Ichigo woke up. He'd been remembering centaury-old events recently. Usually he didn't start dwelling on the past unless something bad—as Zangetsu put it—was in the air.

Yawning, he stretched like a cat, a habit he'd gained after many training sessions with Yoruichi. She had forced him to stretch each and every one of his muscles before physical exercise, and it just so happened that cats did that every time they stretched.

He got dressed, donning the traditional black shihakusho, with his white Captain's haori overtop of it, showing his status as the Captain of the Fifth Squad.

Opening his doors, he went across the hall to his doppelgänger's room.

"Oi! Shiro! Wake up!"

"Iie…"

"Shiro!"

"Couple more minutes, Kuro?"

"And just who's gonna do your paperwork?"

"Zangetsu-ossan. Now le' me go ta sleep!"

"I expect you to be up before midday this time, Shiro!"

"...Hai…Kuro…"

"Tch," Ichigo snorted as he shunpo'd from his personal quarters to his office.

"Ichi-nii!"

Turning around, Ichigo saw his younger sisters, Yuzu and Karin running up to him. Well, Yuzu was running, Karin was more walking, really.

"Good morning, Yuzu! Karin!"

"Good morning, Ichi-nii," Yuzu said, "but where's Shiro-nii?"

"Lazy Hollow is sleeping in again," Ichigo sighed.

"Do you need us to wake him up?" Karin asked, a gleam in her eyes.

"No, Shiro's got hair-trigger reflexes I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of."

"Yes, because we all know your Hollow's kicked your ass before, Strawberry," an amused voice came from behind him.

Not even turning around, Ichigo replied, "Haha, very funny, Pineapple. But I did suppress him during the Winter War, didn't I? Even though I had no idea what I was doing?"

"So you admit you we clueless?"

"No! Just…I didn't know about Shiro's 'special circumstances'. Hell, even Hat 'n' Clogs and the other Vizards didn't realize it until during the invasion of Las Noches." Ichigo defended himself, whipping around.

"Just teasing. Because, thankfully, I can't say I know what it's like to have a Vasto Lorde-class Hollow living in my inner world." Renji said.

"I'm just glad my Hollow's intelligent," Ichigo said.

"Why thank ya, Kuro," said Hollow's voice called out.

"Shiro! You decided to get up after all?"

"Felt the Pineapple's reiatsu, figur'd he wanted somethin'." Shiro shrugged.

"So why are you over at the Squad Five barracks, now that Shiro's brought it up, Renji?"

"Oh yeah! Soutaicho wanted you to report to Squad One, with Rukia and Captain Hitsugaya. I already gave the word to Rukia, I figured I'd tell you before going to the Tenth Squad."

"Should Shiro come?"

"You two are kind of like a package, take one, get the other," Renji explained. "The Head Captain knows that, really everyone in the Seireitei does. So yeah, I guess he should."

"'Kinda like a package?' Try more like 'two halves of da same soul'." Shiro said.

"But that description lacks in creativity," Karin said.

Red and orange Shinigami jumped, clearly they had forgotten about the two twin Shinigami girls. The Hollow frowned.

"Creativity don' really matter," the Hollow said. "I was goin' fer accuracy."

Before Shiro and Karin could begin a battle of wit and will, Yuzu stepped in. "Didn't Yamamoto-soutaicho want to see you?"

"Oh yeah! Shiro, let's go!" And with that the black and white twins shunpo'd away.

"So you've finally decided to grace us with your presence, Strawberry?" A strong, feminine voice teased.

"Urusai, midget," Ichigo growled.

"Konichiwa, Queen," Shiro grinned.

"How is it that the Hollow half of your soul inherited the more polite personality?" Rukia asked.

"'Cause, da King don' know how ta listen ta his instincts, an' dat's me." Shiro replied, still grinning, readjusting the black haori over his white shihakusho.

Ichigo frowned. Nowadays, Shiro only called him "King" when talking to Rukia (who he called "Queen") or when trying to convey something important.

"Where's Toshiro?"

"Yea, where is da segunda Shiro?" Shiro asked.

"That's Hitsugaya-taicho to you, Kurosaki. Shirosaki." A young voice said angrily, air freezing the air around him.

"Ah, Captain Hitsugaya," Rukia recognized.
"Captain Kuchiki, Captain Kurosaki, Captain Shirosaki," Toshiro acknowledged each one of them.

"Come on, Head Captain's waitin'!" Shiro called out from his place near the entrance to the Captain's meeting room.

"Shiro's right, let's not keep Yama-jii waiting," Ichigo agreed.

"Ah, I'm glad the four of you made it here on time," Yamamoto began, "As you know, if you have been reviewing the recent reports, Hollow attacks have become more and more frequent other reishi-enriched lands, not just Rukongai, Seireitei and Karakura Town. An example of one of these reishi-rich lands is England."

"That's the in the Fifth Squad's jurisdiction, right?" Rukia asked.

"Yeah, Europe's under our watch," Ichigo replied.

"Yes, that's why I asked Captains Kurosaki and Shirosaki here. Central 46 has agreed to sending a few Captain-level Shinigami to England to investigate, as that area is the one with the most Hollow activity." Yamamoto continued.

"Wait! How come Kuro an' I, weren't informed 'bout this? We have't been slackin' off on paperwork or nothin', so…how come we didn' know?" Shiro demanded.

"Onmitsukidō officers intercepted the information before it reached Squad Five barracks, seeing fit to bring it straight to my attention," the Head Captain explained patiently.

"The Stealth Force intercepted it? Just what kind of numbers are we talking about?"

"From an average of 15.4 a year to an average of 11.7 a week," Yamamoto replied tonelessly.

"What?! Dat's ridiculous!" Shiro exclaimed. Ichigo and Rukia muttered in agreement.

"Still," Toshiro said, in an effort to keep the peace, "that's less than the Hollow average for Karakura. Before the War it was 2.3 a day, now it's what, 3.8 a day? That's more than 20 a week, and that's for a just a large town, not an entire country. Can't the Fifth Division officers handle it?"

"Yes, well, it's not the ability of the officers stationed there that I'm worried about," Yamamoto admitted, "You see, according to Captain Soifon's report, the Hollow population raised to that amount in just over a day, sometime last year, and also, recently about 68.9% of the Hollows appearing are Menos Grande-level, some of them are even Arrancar."

"WHAT?!"

"Weren't the Arrancar all killed in the Winter War?" Toshiro asked.

"With a few exceptions," Ichigo interrupted, thinking of Nel, Pesche, Dondochakka, Grimmjow, Ulquiorra, Harribel, Starrk and Lilynette, who'd all been spared after the War was won.

"Yes, weren't the Arrancar all killed in the Winter War, with a few exceptions?"

"You ai't sayin' dat lil' Nel an' such are attackin' England?" Shiro asked, in a tone of voice that said he wouldn't believe it even if they showed him hardcore evidence.

"No," Yamamoto said, "our computers would have picked up their reiatsu signals, after all we're very familiar with those particular Arrancar."

"Understatement of the centaury," Ichigo muttered.

Shiro looked over at Ichigo in amusement.

"So, you've explained why Ichigo and Ogichi"—Shiro looked annoyed at the use of his real name—"are here, but what about Kuchiki and myself?"

"There are a few places in England where Hollows are swarming to, but only one where the more powerful Hollows are flocking to. According the report from the Onmitsukidō officers, it is called Hogwarts: School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

"Excuse me? Witchcraft and Wizardry?" Rukia broke in, her tone disbelieving.

"Apparently a group of humans have a acquired spiritual powers, much like those of a Quincy, except these powers allow them to cast 'spells' and use 'magic', which is actually their reiatsu. As such, you will have no need for gigais, because they will have sufficient reiryoku to be able to see you clearly. Even their 'squibs', which are non-magical humans born into wizarding families, have enough reiryoku, though they cannot control their reiatsu quite like wizards and witches can. Captain Kuchiki, Captain Hitsugaya, you will be posing as students as Hogwarts. Meanwhile, Captain Kurosaki will be the new 'Defense Against the Dark Arts' teacher; we have already cleared it with the Headmaster. All the Headmaster knows is that dangerous enemies from Japan are targeting Hogwarts and that Captain Kurosaki is there to fight them off. As a reward, we get to send two of our students to their school for a while. That's you, Captains Kuchiki and Hitsugaya. According to our cover story, you know nothing of this threat, that you're merely transfers. This will give you more freedom to pry into more…sensitive affairs if necessary. And because it would be awkward for a student to give orders to a teacher and it is his jurisdiction, Captain Kurosaki is in charge of the mission. Understood?"

"Ichigo's head of the mission?" Rukia asked, annoyed.

"A student?" Toshiro exclaimed.

Meanwhile, Ichigo and Shiro just looked amused. Oh man, this was going to be fun!

Me: I've never read a story where Shiro calls Ichigo 'Kuro' even though Ichigo calls him 'Shiro'. I thought it would be a nice change of pace.

Ichigo: Cool, I'm a teacher! I can't wait to boss Rukia and Toshiro around!

Me: A teacher with a cursed job!

Ichigo: …Aaaaand there goes my excitement.

-nii: word/suffix meaning "big brother"

Zangetsu: moon slayer (the name of Ichigo's zanpakutō)

shihakusho: term meaning "garment of dead souls" (what Shinigami wear)

haori: a light weight coat worn over kimonos or, in this case, shihakusho.

doppelgänger: a German word meaning "double walker", doppelgängers are people who look identical to someone else (doppelgängers were thought to bring bad luck if some close to the person saw that person's doppelgänger but it brought death if the person saw the doppelgänger themselves)

oi: a rude way to get someone's attention

iie: no

shiro: white

kuro: black

-ossan: word/suffix that is the informal way of saying "old man"

hai: yes

shunpo: flash step (a technique used by Shinigami to move faster)

Las Noches: Spanish for "The Nights"

reiatsu: spiritual pressure

-soutaicho: word/suffix meaning Head Captain /or/ Captain Commander

Seireitei: Court of Pure Souls (where the Shinigami reside)

Shinigami: death god

urusai: shut up

konichiwa: hello

segunda: Spanish for"second"

-taicho: word/suffix meaning Captain

-jii: a slightly more formal way of saying "old man" than "ossan"

reishi: spirit particles

Rukongai: Wandering Soul City

Onmitsukidō: Stealth Force (what do you think the Stealth Force is?)

Menos Grande: Spanish for "Smaller Big" *EDIT*: Means "Less Big"

Arrancar: Spanish verb that means "to break" or "to tear"

gigais: plural of "gigai" which means "fake body"

reiryoku: spiritual energy