Okay so this is two weeks after the Break-up. Where there is actually a hiatus. Probably going to be a two-shot. I don't own anything.

"I'm not ready to say goodbye." I tell Blaine as I stand in his bedroom doorway. Blaine is stunned to say the least, whether from my presence or words I'm unsure of.

"And I never will be." I finish lamely, drawing us back to the many times I've said similar things. Never in my imagination would I have ever taken Blaine for granted. And yet I did. I will never regret moving to New York but I know that I will also never forgive myself for giving Blaine that kicked puppy look.

Earlier this year I had seen it for the first time, when Blaine found out about Chandler. I made a secret vow to myself to never be the person to make Blaine look like that again. Yet I did. By accepting his promise ring last winter I also promised to always pick up his phone call. Oh look, another lie.

He's giving me that look again, and I know that I have to do something to keep him in my life. Blaine goes to speak but I refuse to let him, though I do feel guilty because his lack of voice was one of the reasons we broke up.

"Before I met you, it was easy to say I was depressed. I had no friends to rely on; I was unsafe and afraid of my school constantly. But then you happened. You just came bursting into my life so swiftly, and our relationship was like a breath of fresh air. No wait, that's a lie. I didn't know how to breathe until I met you." I give myself a chance to catch it now and I wait to see if he will try to talk. He refuses to look at me, instead looking towards his knees where he is seated on this bed.

So I continue, "I'm selfish, okay? And I'm sorry that was so difficult for me to admit. Our relationship had just become so comfortable that I thought it would just always exist and be there, but at the same time I was letting you down every day I was away. I should have called, or picked up your phone calls,"

"Kurt, I can't do this." He tells me brokenly. "I can't just go back to the way we were, because it wasn't working. We've been broken for a while; I think we both know that."

"But, we can fix it right?" I whisper desperately.

"I don't know. You don't think that this is killing me? Kurt every day I feel like I'm drowning and I can't resurface no matter how hard I try. It's how I felt before I met you, and I know we've changed each other for the better but this is too hard. It's too much. I think you need to go." He tells me.

"No, I'm not leaving yet. I'm never saying goodbye to you." I say out loud, more to myself then to him. I shake my head and rush forward and sit in front of him on my knees. Tears start to leak from his eyes.

"I'm done. Okay, we're done." He tells me but refuses to look me in the eyes.

"I'm not saying goodbye. Blaine, please look at me. Why won't you look at me? Blaine, baby…" I start to panic.

"You don't get it!" Blaine suddenly explodes, getting up from his bed. "You don't think I love you? You don't think that I would rather not exist than have you on your knees begging to have me back?" The tears come quickly, and I didn't even realize that some of my own were leaking out.

"What do you want? I'll do anything for you Blaine. Anything! I'll come back to Lima, I'll stay." I promise brashly. "I love you too much to lose you. I'm selfish Blaine, I need you. And I know you need me too."

"Yeah, come back to Lima. That would solve absolutely nothing. And you don't get to decide whether I need you or not. You're not my boyfriend." He spits at me. I flinch from the venom in his voice. His eyes soften from my reaction and suddenly he curls up in a ball on his bed again, away from me. He's shaking and it takes me a moment to realize that he is sobbing.

"I don't care." I tell him after a moment, though I know my voice is too weak to carry. He doesn't respond. I sit in front of him again and frame his face in my hands, and force him to look at me fully for the first time since I was back in Lima.

"I don't care. I still love you and whether or not you're my boyfriend doesn't matter. We need each other because we healed each other, and not we're breaking all over again. I love you Blaine. You are the love of my life. I'm sorry." It takes me a moment to register that this was actually my first actual apology of the night.

"I'm sorry." I repeat, and his tears may have stopped but his body is still racking with sobs. So I pull him close and hug him like its goodbye, which I fear it is. I want to kiss away his tears but I realize that I no longer have the right too.

I speak into his ear, "I need you, and I love you. So I'll take whatever you will give me. Whether that's husband," His throat catches. "boyfriend, friend, or acquaintance; because I'm selfish and I need you in my life. I need you Blaine. You may not need me but I will always need you. I'll take whatever little piece of life you want to give and will cherish it." I pull back to look at him again. "And if you feel that it's too much, then I'll leave you alone. But just know that this is me fighting for you; this is me at my most desperate. Because what we have is worth fighting for Blaine, it really is." I bite my tongue before I add a pet name to the end of my speech.

His whisper is so soft I almost miss it, "I need you too." His eyes are shy as they meet mine on his own accord.

"I'm never saying goodbye to you." I say before pulling him back in for an embrace, hoping desperately that it won't be our last.

Angst, angst, angst, angst. This is a two chapter fiction so I hope you will read the second half when I write it. Read and Review.