Epilogue

Eight months later…

Time had passed, and nothing would be back to what Olivia Benson had once known as normal. She and Brian had been subject to a line of questioning by IAB. They'd wanted to know how Olivia had found Nick, and why she hadn't told them that she knew where Nick was. Olivia had explained that she thought she could convince Nick to turn himself in, but everything had taken a turn for the worst when Brian had decided to grab Zara and call the cops. IAB threatened to take her shield because she'd withheld important information about a fugitive, even though she'd sworn up and down that she wasn't helping Nick in any way. She'd told them to save it, and personally handed in her badge and shield. She was able to retire and receive her full pension. After all, she'd put in her full twenty.

Olivia was furious with Brian. If it hadn't been for Brian, she knew that she could have convinced Nick to do just that—turn himself in. Then, he'd still be alive, and Zara would not have had to see her father die. After the shots had been fired, Olivia had grabbed Zara and covered her eyes. She'd cradled the crying child tightly until NYPD arrived and took her away. Zara had been returned to her maternal grandparents. Shortly after, Nick's mom sued for custody, but the courts denied her custody because she was living off disability and appeared unfit to raise a child. Just a few short weeks later, Maria's parents were found mysteriously dead and Zara was gone. The police found her with Mrs. Amaro. Olivia learned that Zara had been placed in foster care, and Olivia knew exactly what she had to do.

Brian supported her decision completely. Both Olivia and Brian had shared the longing desire to be parents for so long. Each day, Olivia's belly grew more swollen, and Brian stood by her side each day. Now that Olivia had retired, she would have the time to spend with the kids. She called the adoption agency and inquired about Zara. She knew that obtaining custody of Zara wouldn't be easy, but something in Olivia's heart told that it was the right thing to do. After pulling some strings, Zara came to live with her and Brian.

The past few months had been full of adjustments for Olivia and Brian. Olivia gradually began to forgive Brian for what had happened. When they had gone to pick Zara up from the adoption center, Olivia had insisted Brian stay in the other room. She remembered how Zara had freaked out when Brian had grabbed her last time. Olivia had to explain to Zara that Brian was the good guy, and he was going to help take care of her now.

Zara had been ecstatic to see Olivia. The little girl had been through so much within the last months, and it all involved family that was close to her. Her mother had died, though from Olivia's understanding, Zara had never seen her body. Her father had been murdered right in front of her. Her mother's parents were murdered by her father's mother, and now her paternal grandmother was in prison. Poor Zara; at last, she was safe.

Everything happens for a reason, Olivia thought, as she watched the little girl sleep. She looked so peaceful when she slept. Olivia rested her hand on her round pumpkin-shaped belly. The thought of Zara calling her "Mommy," made Olivia's stomach turn. Zara still called her "Olivia" and she called Brian by his name, too. Olivia had accepted that and understood she would most likely be "Olivia" to Zara. She was just happy to have Zara in her home. She was happy that Bayard Ellis had been able to put in a good word for her and had represented her in court. It was because of him that she had custody of Zara. It was because of him that she wasn't being raised by complete strangers.

"Liv," Brian whispered from the doorway. He crept up behind her and began to massage her tensed shoulders, lightly kissing her neck. She released a soft moan as the tension released from her shoulders. She turned around and kissed him on the cheek. Her eyes directed to the boxes in the bedroom that had become Zara's. It was their last night in her apartment. She'd lived there for fourteen years and had never imagined living anywhere else. A small tear trickled down her cheek, and Brian wiped it away. "What's wrong, babe?"

"It's just…I've spent almost a decade and a half in this apartment. It's hard to leave it behind. I have so many memories," she whispered, feeling as Brian's hand made his way down to her swollen stomach. He gently massaged her stomach as a sharp kick hit against her ribs, and her heart began to race as the pain made its way through her nerves.

Brian laughed. "What memories? You were always at work, remember? Don't worry. We're going to make many more memories at our new house. We're going to raise a family. Who would've thought that you and I would be parents…together? I always knew that you'd get married and have kids. I always wanted kids but never imagined I'd have 'em…especially with a lady as pretty as you." He kissed her forehead and her heart warmed. The couple parted Zara's bedroom and went into Olivia's bedroom, which was all packed up. Olivia kicked her shoes off and started to undress. She struggled to get her shirt off, and Brian willingly began to help her. She felt like a little girl again.

She thought about the last fifteen years. Brian had a point. She thought of all the men she'd brought home after her dates. She looked at her bed and thought of all the sex she'd had in that bed. Though, she'd had more sex with Brian over the last nine months than she had with all the men she'd dated over the course of fourteen years. Her pregnancy hadn't slowed them down at all until the last two months. She settled for Brian's to-die-for massages.

Tomorrow was the day that would change everything. They'd debated on whether or not to stay in New York City for months. In the end, they'd decided it was the best choice, because Brian's family was in New York and Brian's mother would be the only grandmother their son or daughter knew—they'd opted not to find out the sex of the baby. Olivia wanted her child to know his or her grandmother. As long as Mrs. Cassidy was alive, Brian and Olivia had agreed to stay near New York City. So, they'd purchased a nice house in Elizabeth, New Jersey, not far out of New York City.

Olivia remained in close contact with her former co-workers. Fin, Amanda, John, and Don all remained at SVU. Two rookies had taken her and Nick's spots. She talked to Fin most of all, and he continued to insist that SVU would never be the same. The unit had really taken a hardship after the whole Nick ordeal. Fin and Amanda along with Rafael, Casey, and Alex had agreed to help Brian and Olivia move. Kathleen and Kathy Stabler also insisted on helping.

Elizabeth's murder had been solved. They'd managed to pin all the evidence to her killer, Max Matazarro. As they'd expected, he had been seeking revenge on Elliot and had taken his revenge out on innocent Elizabeth. Max was currently awaiting trial. Olivia prayed he would rot in jail for life for what he did. Olivia believed that he'd taken two lives with him when he'd murdered Lizzie. She only wished that she'd been the one to nail him. Fin had told her everything, though. He'd told a vivid story about how he'd been raped in prison. Olivia tried to sympathize with him, but she couldn't. Olivia had kn0own Elizabeth since she was a little girl. She'd watched her grow up. The case was too close to Olivia. The Stabler's were managing okay, though. Maureen had given birth to a healthy baby girl, Elliot's first grandchild. She would never know her grandfather, though she would grow up hearing stories about what a great man he was. She would never know that he committed suicide.

Olivia was looking forward to her life ahead. It was the first time she could honestly say she was looking forward to the future. Finally, she had everything she'd ever dreamed of. She and Brian had agreed to wait until after the baby was born to get married. They'd agreed upon a small wedding with just their friends from SVU. It was already planned for Valentine's Day 2014. John was Brian's Best Man. Don and Fin would be the groomsmen. Alex was going to be Olivia's Maid of Honor, and Casey, Kathleen, and Amanda would all be bridesmaids. Olivia couldn't believe she was finally getting married and having a baby.

"If I get married," she remembered saying to Brian so many years ago.

"Whatever, you will. As long as you have this job, your marriage will be an affair," Brian had responded, and she was right. Her job had prevented her from having a life. She'd loved her job so much that she hadn't needed a man to love. Inside, though, she was miserable.

"You don't understand because you're not a mother," she'd been told too many times. It sickened her every time, too. As she grew older, near the end of her childbearing years, Olivia had begun to accept she would likely never become a mother. The thoughts circled in her mind as her hand rested on her stomach, and Brian's fingers intertwined with hers. A sharp pain contracted in her stomach, and she groaned loudly.

"Liv, you okay?" Brian jumped up. These past few weeks, he'd become extremely antsy. He would freak out at every noise she made. She'd been having Braxton Hicks on and off for the last three weeks. She was two weeks away from her due date.

"Yeah, fine, just another Braxton Hicks contraction," she said with a smile, lying down on her side, and Brian had lain down next to her. She hated that they were moving so close to her due date. She'd wanted to move sooner, but house shopping had not been easy for them. They were both so picky, and the house they'd finally settled in wasn't available until then, so they hadn't had a choice.

Brian rubbed his hand slowly on her back until she heard him snoring. She lay awake, staring into the blackness. Something didn't feel right. The baby was restless tonight, and continued to move. Someone doesn't want Mommy to sleep tonight, Olivia thought as the baby kicked against her womb. Another sharp pain struck her. She glanced at the clock. She knew that if the contractions were more than ten minutes apart, she would need to go to the hospital.

Not tonight, baby, not tonight, Olivia thought. She and Brian hadn't even completely agreed on a name. They'd been debating for months, so Baby Cassidy couldn't come tonight. Mommy has too much to do tomorrow. She closed her eyes and tried to fall asleep, but it wasn't long before she was struck with another contraction. Her heart began to race as another one soon followed. She restlessly tossed in bed, wishing they'd stop. The pressure tightened against her bladder, and she felt the urge to pee. Brian placed his hand on her stomach in his sleep. She gently removed his hand from her belly so she could go to the bathroom.

"Huh? Everything okay?" Brian murmured.

"Yeah, just going to the bathroom," Olivia whispered back, and slid off the bed.

"K," Brian groaned, and Olivia waddled to the bathroom. She started to relieve herself, but she seemed to be in an endless pee. She couldn't stop. That's when she realized what had happened.

Shit. Another contraction hit her, and she realized she'd packed all her pads away. After all, she hadn't used one in nine months. She started to cry. The baby couldn't be coming. They hadn't moved yet, and she'd planned on spending the next two weeks getting the baby's room ready. In the beginning, Olivia had been hesitant to buy baby stuff because she was afraid something might go wrong. She hadn't wanted to purchase all sorts of baby stuff then lose the baby. Her doctor had warned her that she was at a higher risk for miscarriage because of her age. Brian, on the other hand, was picking up baby stuff all the time. She'd scolded him for it, but it didn't stop him. Everything they'd bought so far was unisex. Olivia still hadn't purchased a crib.

It hit her, and it hit her hard. The baby was coming.

"Brian!" she called. "BRIAN!" She stood up, pulling up her pajamas pants. She felt the liquid drenching her pants. Another contraction hit, and a pain lodged in her back as she waddled into the bedroom.

Brian jolted out of bed. "What's wrong? Are you…no….Liv?"

"My water broke!" she cried, tears of fear and joy streamed down her face. "The baby is coming!"

"Oh, my God!" Brian stared at her in absolute awe. He'd been jumping at her every sound for weeks, but now he didn't budge. Then his eyes widened as he slid off the bed and dug through a pile of dirty clothes on the floor for a shirt and pants.

"What's going on?" a small voice came from the doorway. Olivia turned to Zara rubbing her eyes, standing in her night gown. "Are you having the baby, Olivia?"

"Yes, Zara, I'm having the baby!" Olivia exclaimed, then another contraction struck and she released a scream.

"Yay!" Zara exclaimed. "But are you okay?"

"I'm fine, sweetie. Brian's going to take good care of me." Brian wrapped his arm around Olivia and started guiding her out the door.

"Come on, Zara. You can ride with us to the hospital, and then I'll call your Auntie Amanda or your Uncle Fin to come pick you up." Brian motioned for Zara to follow. Zara smiled excitedly. Olivia was glad that Brian had thought of what to do with Zara. Zara was very close to Fin and Amanda.

"Okay!" the little girl chirped, grabbing Olivia's hand and assisted Brian in guiding her to the car, which was parked in front of the apartment.

An hour later, Olivia was in the delivery room.

"You're currently dilated to six centimeters," the doctor told her, "only four centimeters to go." The contractions were coming more frequently and became more intense. The pain was unbearable.

"Okay, give me a fucking epidural now," she growled. Brian had just walked in, wearing his mask and scrubs. He grabbed Olivia's hand, and she pulled tightly, and felt tears rolling down her cheeks. "Why, Brian, why did you do this to me….OW," she cried as another contraction hit her like a baseball.

"It's going to be okay, baby. It'll be worth it in the end. Just think, when this is all over and done, you'll have a beautiful baby in your arms," Brian said with a big smile on his face then turned to the doctor. "You heard the lady. Give her the epidural."

"Let me get the nurse in here and we'll get on it," the doctor said.

"You're a fucking doctor. Just give it to me NOW! You do it now, or I'll have my cop friends shoot your head off," Olivia snapped, as the doctor chuckled and shook his head. He'd delivered hundreds of babies, and Olivia wouldn't be surprised if he'd been threatened before. Olivia breathed heavily, and turned to Brian. "Did you call anyone?"

"I called Fin. He and Amanda are on their way to pick Zara up. I told them to call anyone else they could think of. I'm sure you'll have a party in the waiting room by the time Baby Cassidy decides to make his or her debut into the world," Brian said.

"Speaking of which," Olivia choked. "We never decided on a name."

"Well," Brian said. "What about we wait until we see him or her? Maybe we'll just know."

"Oh, Bri. You know how I hate waiting until the last minute to make decisions…" Olivia trailed as she was pained with another contraction. The doctor and a nurse walked in and started to prep her for the epidural. The nurse implanted the IV in her, prepping her for the epidural. Five minutes later, the pain finally began to ease. She could still feel the contractions in her uterus.

Time passed, and the doctor suggested she walk around a little bit to speed up the labor process. First labors were always the longest. It's my first and my last, Olivia was certain. She was forty-five years old. She knew the chances of her getting pregnant again were slim to none.

Brian offered to guide her around the hospital. He walked her down to the waiting room, where she found Casey, Alex, John, and Don.

"Olivia!" Alex exclaimed; all four appeared surprised to see Olivia.

"The next time I thought I'd see you, you'd have a bouncing baby in your arms," John said, pointing out the fact that Olivia was still pregnant.

"The doctor said that walking around might speed up the delivery," Brian told the group.

"Where are Fin, Amanda, and Zara?" Olivia asked the group.

"They took her over to Fin's place to get some sleep," John answered. "Fin said they'd bring Zara back early in the morning. I'm not sure why Amanda had to tag along."

Olivia couldn't help but wonder who was on duty at SVU. Had they left the rookies alone? Everyone she'd once worked with was right in front of her.

"How are your contractions, Liv? Is it really as painful as clenching cold ice in your hand?" Alex asked, and everyone stared at her. She shrugged, "Hey, don't look at me. That's just what someone told me."

"It's one hundred times worse, Alex," Olivia said. "But I'm okay now. They've given me an epidural."

"And you can still walk?" Casey raised an eyebrow. It was clear that neither Casey nor Alex had given before.

"You can still walk with the regular epidural," Olivia told them. "It's only if they give you the walking epidural that you can't walk."

"I see, I see," Casey said.

"Looks like you ladies need to brush up on their pregnancy research," John teased the ADAs and added, "I don't even have those organs, and I knew that."

"Well, good for you," Casey rolled her eyes. "I don't spend my days researching pregnancy, because the chances of me having a child in the future at all are pretty much zero."

"Oh, hush, Case. You're ten years younger than I am. You still have plenty of time. Besides, I said the same thing," Olivia said, holding her stomach and looking at Brian.

"Hey, I keep telling you that you and Rafael would make a cute couple," Alex nudged Casey with a grin on her face.

Casey's bright fiery red hair caused her flushed red face to stand out. She shook her head. "I'm fairly certain that I'm not Rafael's type, if you know what I mean."

"Why don't you just come out and ask him if he's gay, then?" Alex suggested.

"Why don't you?" Casey retorted.

Alex turned to Olivia, Brian, Don, and John and explained, "You see, Casey and I have this bet going on over Rafael's sexuality. She's convinced he's gay, and I think he's straight. Any ideas?"

Captain Cragen, who had been otherwise quiet, chuckled.

"You know, he did seem to be awfully friendly with Captain Harris, now that you mention it…" John trailed.

"So, you think he's gay, too?" Casey asked.

"My money's on bi," John replied, and then turned to Olivia and Brian. "So, you're naming the baby John, right?"

"My grandbaby is not going to be named John," Captain Cragen butted in. "Olivia and Brian are more into modern names, I think. My money's on North or Apple."

"Apple Cassidy? I like!" Brian smiled, looking at Olivia who was already shaking her head.

"How about no. I think I'm naming the baby," Olivia said as she felt another contraction. She whispered hoarsely, "I think we need to get back to the delivery room, Bri." Brian guided her back to the room, where the nurse was already waiting for them. She helped her back into bed and checked to see how far she was dilated.

"Good news, Olivia. You're dilated to ten. It's time to start pushing," she told Olivia.

She started to push, and soon the doctor was preparing to deliver the baby.

"The baby is crowning, Olivia. Just a few more pushes, the baby's almost here."

She gripped tightly onto Brian's hand and pushed with all her strength. She closed her eyes as the sweat trickled down her face. She was so hot, but she didn't care. Her baby was about to be born.

"Here we go!" the doctor exclaimed, as the baby came out of her. "Here he is!"

He? Olivia inhaled a deep breath, as she saw her son for the first time. She listened to his waling cries as Baby Cassidy announced his presence to the world. Moments later, the doctor brought him over to her, and joyful tears melted from her eyes as she looked at her baby boy. Soon, the nurse took him away to clean him up. Olivia looked at Brian, whose eyes had also swelled with tears of happiness.

"Liv, I have a son," Brian mouthed, and Olivia couldn't believe it herself.

Minutes later, the nurse returned the baby and placed him in her arms.

"Good job, Mom. He's perfectly healthy," the nurse told her, and Olivia's heart swelled with love as she placed her finger into her son's small hand.

"Hi, sweetie. I'm your mommy," she whispered, looking at the nameless baby. She admired his full head of dark brown hair along with his deep blue eyes, which Olivia imagined would turn brown. She'd held so many babies over the years, but there was something about this little guy that made her nervous. She didn't want to break him. After all, she was certain that he was the only son she would ever have.

"And I'm your daddy," Brian said cheerfully, as he carefully stroked the baby's head.

"Well, Daddy, what are going to name our little guy?" Olivia asked her fiancé.

"You said you were going to name him, so go ahead. I trust you," Brian said and added jokingly, "Then, if he doesn't like his name when he's older, I can tell him to blame his mom."

Olivia blushed and thought hard. She wanted her son to have a name that was unique to him, but she also wanted it to be special. Several names came to mind that she shot down, because she associated them with criminals she'd arrested over the years. Gabriel, Kyle, Max, and Victor were all no-goes. Then, she thought of all her exes. Dean, Andy, Jeffrey, and Kurt were noes—not that she liked any of those names, anyway. The more she thought, the more complicated this process became. Girls' names were so much easier to choose, because she'd dealt with fewer female criminals over the year, but here she was holding a baby boy. They'd both agreed that they didn't want their son to bear the suffix "Junior." "How about…" she began, then the perfect name came to her mind. "August Elliot John Cassidy."

"August Cassidy. It's unique, modern, and yet not crazy," Brian repeated. "August Elliot John Cassidy. I like it. But I understand Elliot as a middle name, but why John?"

Olivia shrugged. "I thought it had a nice ring to it, and John was Elliot's middle name too."

Brian nodded, and Olivia was half-way surprised that he didn't have a problem naming their son after Elliot. Olivia couldn't name her son Elliot, because Elliot Jr. already existed. Besides, the world didn't need another Elliot. August was perfect. Her son was perfect.

The door opened and the doctor peered in. "You've got guests."

Soon, the room began to flood with all her friends. Casey, Alex, Rafael, Don, John, Fin, Amanda, and Zara were all there. Then Olivia saw Kathleen and Kathy. Everyone made a circle around the bed, as they waited for Olivia to announce her son's name.

"Everyone," Olivia announced. "Meet my son, August Elliot John Cassidy."

"I told you she'd name him after me!" John was quick to cheer. The room was cheery as everyone congratulated Olivia on her son. The joy tingled in Olivia's veins. Finally, her time had come. It had been a rough year, but it had all been worth it. After all, everything happened for a reason, didn't it? Fifteen years ago, she and Brian hadn't been ready for each other. Now, they were than ready for each other. They were all each other wanted and needed. And finally, they had the perfect little family too. Brian, Olivia, Zara, and August.

Over the years, Olivia had made great friends, and she would always cherish them. Her work family had become her only family.

Re-uniting with Brian had given her a second chance. A second chance at the life she'd always dreamed about. A dream Elliot could never fulfill. The second chance had come just in time, too.

Elliot had been such a big part of her life for so many years, but now she understood that he had held her back from truly living her life. Yes, she had love him, and she would always love him. But he needed to leave for her to live. Elliot's leaving had provided her the opportunity to finally move on, and his death had given her the ultimate closure. Sometimes goodbye is a second chance. In Olivia's case, goodbye meant hello to life.

~ THE END ~

Author's Note: I'm sorry that I took so long to update. I've mainly been investing my writing time into "His Negotiation," but I decided it was time I wrap this up! I hope you all enjoyed this story, and I know it was filled with twists and turns. As you can see, there was a meaning behind Elliot's death. Yes, it was sad, but it was necessary. The funny thing is I started this story long before I developed a hatred toward Elliot, and I originally for a moment considered having Olivia having an affair with Elliot; then I was going to have her unsure if the baby was Elliot's or Brian's. Then, the Bensidy shipper voice in my head screamed at me and wouldn't let that happen. I think the plot worked out better this way. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoyed this story and will check out my others if you haven't already.