Disclaimer: I don't own anything. STOP ASKING ME.

A/N: Technically, the fic is over, but Riku was such a good sport through all this nonsense that I decided to throw him a bone. This one's rated T for yaoi-flavored cotton candy! Mm.

Bon à lire!

-Slay

Match Maker

Epilogue: Pop Rocks, Among Other Things

Well, it looked like the Moogleplex would survive, for the most part.

In the time it took firefighters to douse the movie theater, Riku and Sora had stolen into a nearby café to avoid the mayhem, where Sora took the opportunity to ditch his girly getup in the bathroom. When they stepped into the street again, Sora was back to normal, wearing the same blue sweater—which was perfectly innocent without the fake bust—cargo shorts and regular sandals. He swung the satchel containing his costumes over his shoulder and whistled at the damage. "That fire spread fast."

"Yeah." Originally, the Moogleplex was large and flashy, taking up a decent chunk of the block with its trailing lights and beaming marquis. Now it stood with half of its facilities crumbling and blackened, thick plumes of fresh smoke roiling up through the night. The crowds had calmed, but there were still large throngs of people surrounding the scene, being staved off by barriers the authorities set up. Ambulances, fire trucks, squad cars…

"C'mon Sor. We're not gonna be able to get through this mess anytime soon. May as well wait for things to clear up."

Riku gripped Sora's hand and guided him along the outskirts of the crowd, coming to rest on the wide concrete lip of a fountain planted in the central square. Sora dumped his bag on the ground and pulled out the unopened box of Pop Rocks.

"You're not gonna try anything funny again, are you?" Riku eyed the candy warily, officially gun-shy of his friend's creative outbursts.

Sora shook his head simply, rending the box open with his fingertips and pouring a mound of the tiny pilule candies into his palm. He handed the box to Riku, who took his own share, and together they started tossing back handfuls of Pop Rocks.

It always began with a mild fizzling, a low hum against the tongue. But then the popping started.

"Ah!" Sora yelped, cupping his cheek. "That one hurt!"

Riku laughed, but was then struck by the same thing—overly violent Pop Rocks snapping at his tongue. "Ow! Crap!" Pretty soon the two of them were rocking with laughter, holding their hands to their mouths as the last of the candy burst behind their teeth.

They calmed down after several minutes, a comfortable silence falling as they sat back to watch the theater fiasco uncoil. People were finally starting to trickle out of the massive crowds, emergency vehicles were rolling off the scene.

"I'm sorry."

Riku had been wrapped up in his own thoughts. "Huh?"

His friend looked up at him, blue eyes liquid in the low light. "I'm sorry," he shrugged. "This whole thing was kind of a disaster."

Riku snorted. "Kind of?"

Sora rolled his eyes. "Okay, okay. It was a complete catastrophe." Riku nodded in agreement, causing the brunette to chuckle lightly. "I just…wanted to help, y'know?"

"…Sora…" The brunette turned away from him, looking past the dissipating scene outside the Moogleplex. Riku sighed. This nonsense had gone on long enough—and he didn't just mean all the blind date business from tonight. He took a deep breath. "Sora, listen…I appreciate what you're trying to do, but the truth is, it doesn't matter who you set me up with. It's never gonna work out."

The brunette quirked an eyebrow at him. "Why not?"

"Because…" Riku avoided his friend's prying gaze, blushing in spite of himself. "Because there's already someone that…that I really care about, and I—"

"WHAT?"

Riku jumped. The next thing he knew, Sora was in his face, eyes wide with shock and a dash of anger. "You've liked someone this whole time? And you never told me? Rikuuuu I thought we were best friends!" He slumped where he sat. "I went to all this trouble for nothing?"

"Sora—"

"So who is it?"

The brunette was back up in his business, leaning avidly toward him, eyes blazing like he was interrogating for precious information. All Riku could do was sit agog, paralyzed by that gorgeous, penetrating stare. "I…u-uh…"

"Well?"

"Sora, I don't—"

"C'mon, Riku! If you can't tell me, who can you tell?"

Riku didn't know what to say; how to put it, how to explain it. He had no idea where to begin, so he acted on impulse, taking Sora's face in his hands and sweeping him into a soft, determined kiss. To his small relief, Sora made no move to pull away, just rested without complaint against the gentle workings of his mouth. A few seconds passed before Riku broke it off, tilting back to see that the brunette actually had his eyes closed.

"…I see."

"Yeah."

"That…explains a lot, actually," Sora murmured, cracking his eyes demurely. Riku released his face and backed up, staring into his lap. "Look, I know this is pretty weird—" He never got to finish; Sora's lips effectively silenced him.

Hands knotted in his hair, pulling him close, then latched around his neck to keep him there. Flushed, newly familiar lips drove steadily against his, moving in brief and limited patterns. Completely dazed, Riku reached dumbly for a grip on the other boy, finally managing to draw him in, holding snugly to his body through the loose fabric of his sweater. Just as Riku was beginning to return the ministrations, Sora pried his mouth away. "What were you saying?"

"I honestly don't remember," Riku admitted blatantly. Sora laughed, his summery breath rolling over the silverette's mouth, practically planting a balmy new kiss there. Riku smiled and dipped his nose to nuzzle the brunette's cheek, dropping small, sweet kisses around his ear. Giggling, Sora tightened his grip around Riku's neck and burrowed into his shoulder.

Pandemonium had cleared from the streets surrounding the theater, but the pair didn't move. They just sat, wrapped up in each other, watching the soft surges of traffic circling the square. After a while, Riku started picking at the boisterous tufts of Sora's hair. "Hey, Sor? I have a question."

"Hm?"

"Why Xemnas?"

"…Oh…yeah, 'bout that…" There was a pause, during which Sora situated himself more comfortably in Riku's arms. "I…may or may not have…more or less...sorta, kinda, maybe drawn his name out of a hat," he said meekly. "Eh-heh…"

Riku blinked. He took Sora by the shoulders and held him at arm's length, regarding him with a very flat look. "So…you gave that whole speech about finding the right person for me, and then drew my date's name…out of a hat?"

"I actually drew Xemnas' name before I gave that speech, but…uh…" When he saw that this correction wasn't getting him anywhere, Sora flashed a big, stupid smile, trying to 'cuteness' his way out of it. It didn't work.

"Oh, c'mon, Ri," he gabbed, "Xemnas isn't that bad, is he? I mean, sure he's a little…off kilter, but who isn't, right?—"

"Sora."

"—Maybe he's actually a genius who can't reconcile with the world around him so he doesn't know how to socialize with people—"

"Sora."

"—And so the guy won't shut up about Kingdom Hearts, so what? Maybe it's something really cool, but you'd never know 'cause—"

"SORA!"

"Don't kill me!" Sora slammed his eyes shut and threw up his hands defensively, fearing the worst. A moment passed, and after watching his friend's dramatic flinching, Riku broke into a smile, swaying forward and pecking Sora on the nose. The other boy's eyes snapped open. He stared at Riku, incredulous. "You…You're not mad?"

Riku shook his head. "I'm not mad."

Openly relieved, Sora plunged back into the silverette's arms, nestling cozily against his chest. Riku rubbed affectionate circles into his back. "You were just looking out for me," he muttered warmly. "Besides," he rested his head against Sora's, his voice low and crooning, "I've already had my revenge."

Sora stiffened. "…You have?"

"Mhm." Enjoying his friend's growing horror, Riku fished his cell phone out of his pocket, tapped at the screen a few times, then flipped it so Sora could see the picture he'd taken. It was of Sora, back in the bathroom at the café. He'd pretty much finished changing, save for the hot pink bra that had supported his fake rack.

"I thought it would make a cute profile picture," Riku mused. "It shows your…softer side."

"GAH! RIKU!" Sora's face had gone up like a beet. He lunged for the phone, but Riku swung it effortlessly out of his reach. "Please don't post that, Riku! I'm begging you!" He was practically crawling over Riku trying to reach the phone. "Come on! There's gotta be another way I can make this up to you! Please!"

"There is one thing you could do," Riku suggested mildly.

"What is it? Anything!"

Sora came dangerously close to nabbing the phone, but Riku swiftly replaced it in his pocket and snagged Sora's wrist, turning the brunette's attention back to him.

"I want to go on a real date. No hoity-toity restaurants, no awkward movie theaters, no disguises, and no crackpots raving about Kingdom Hearts and pretzels."

"Done!" The brunette nodded resolutely. "We can do whatever you want—I won't say a word!"

"Promise?"

Sora crossed his heart zealously. "I promise!"

"…Deal." Riku pulled the phone back out, and the second it fell into Sora's hands he curled up and set to feverishly deleting the bra picture, confirming that it hadn't already been posted, and even going so far as to scour the phone for anything else that could be used against him. Riku watched this in amusement, snaking his arms around Sora's waist and propping his chin on the boy's shoulder.

"I don't see what the big deal is," Riku shrugged, taking his phone back once Sora was finished 'blackmail-proofing' it. "There are worse things than being seen in women's underwear."

"Like what?"

Riku wasn't able to respond—they were both distracted by someone shouting across the square.

"SUPERIOR, PLEASE! I MUST INSIST YOU PUT YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON THIS INSTANT!"

Without warning, a very jazzed, very naked Xemnas came streaking past them, clinging to his soft pretzel with his hands flung high over his head. "I'M COMING, KINGDOM HEARTS! WAIT FOR ME!" He tore around the fountain and launched himself down a nearby street, scaring off entire flocks of people who flung themselves out of his way. The bluenette from the theater was trailing a ways after him, carrying a shapeless pile of black cloth in his arms and frantically apologizing to the terrified faces of the pedestrians.

Sora and Riku sat frozen, their eyes painfully disintegrating out of their skulls.

"Like that," Riku answered tightly.

There was a long pause, where they could hear their brains fizzling away like Pop Rocks, and then Sora twisted around and buried his face in Riku's shoulder again. "Yeah, I'm just gonna pretend I didn't see that."

"Yeah." Riku stroked his hair consolingly. "Yeah…"

A/N: BAM. Just when you thought I was going to take this seriously. xD Oh well. At least I managed to get some fluff in there before scarring you for life with a naked Xemy. Enjoy that image. It's probably gonna be engrained in your mind for a long time.

Xemnas: Indeed.

My idea of rectifying my transgressions against Riku is to transfer them onto Sora, apparently. They say two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left, so your argument is invalid.

I would also like to inform you that I was listening to "Sexy And I Know It" while I finished this chapter, isn't that right, Xemy?

Xemnas: Indeed.

This is why I have no fans. :D

Review for a chakram cookie~

Flame for a chakram to the face!

TTFN, ta ta for now!

-Slay