"Moth- Mum, I'm not going to wear those excuses for clothes."
"Honey, people are intimidated by you. You always wear suits. Being incognito does not count", she added when he opened his mouth.
Artemis grumbled, but reluctantly took the clothes and stomped up the stairs in a way worthy of a emo teen upstairs

~AxH~

"I look ridiculous, Mum." Artemis said
"Artemis, is that you?" Captain Holly Short said, flying in through. Artemis panicked ("Er, Uh... No, I'm Myles! Ekk!") and ran. Angeline winked at Holly and walked out the kitchen.
"Artemis open up!"
"I'm sorry, Artemis is not here right now, please leave a message at the GO AWAY!"
"I will bust open this door in three, two, one!" And she opened the door.
Artemis was wrapped with multiple covers, looking like a kid with his hand caught in the cookie jar. Then he tripped on a cover and fell facedown, losing his hold on the covers. "The apocalypse is coming! AHHHH! THE APOCALYPSE IS COMING!" Holly screamed.
"Three, two, one." Artemis muttered.
"What happened", asked Juliet.
"Artemis is wearing jeans! Please tell me he's wearing a tuxedo shirt."
"No, he isn't. Sorry" she said with a shrug. Holly ripped the covers from his hands, took one look, and ran down, pointing the Neutrino at Angeline, while saying, "Who are you and what have you done with Artemis Fowl?" Angeline just smiled one of the vampire smiles that Artemis had inherited. With the glint in her eyes, they looked alike, and that alone sent chills down her back.
'Two Artemis's, God help the world.' Holly thought.
"I just modernized him" she said. "Give this to him for me, honey." She said, handing Holly a wrapped package. With that smile, there could have been a bomb, or a plan to achieve world domination. Glancing warily over her shoulder at the vampiric grin still on Angeline's face, she walked upstairs, passing Juliet, who gave her a worried look.

~AxH~

Artemis POV
I hid inside a cupboard waiting, with my trusty x-ray screen. I aimed the camera through the doors, with the knob set on to 'Flesh'. Holly walked in. I could tell, since the small figure had pointy ears.
I jumped out of the cupboard and said, with as much dignity as I could muster, "Hullo, Holly."
She snorted and said, "Hello to you too. Don't you mean, 'Hello, Holly.'"
"No" I sighed, "Mum wants me to talk like a regular teenager. Whatever that means" I said, rolling my eyes.
Holly stifled a laugh. "Well you've got that downpat" She was making fun of me!
Then I thought of payback. I gave her one of my vampire smiles. "Hmmm...everyone has a weakness, right. What's your's" I asked.
Fear showed in her eyes for a quick second, then she striaghtened up and exclaimed "A LEP officer has no weakness!"
"Hmm..." I said. I then leaped toward her...and landed painfully on the floor.

~AxH~

Holly POV
I tried to stifle a giggle, keyword: tried. Arty succeeded in dragging his fingers across my ribs. I accidentally dropped the package on his head. "My gosh! I'm so sorry." I said.
"What was in that any ways?" He groaned in pain.
"I don't know, your mom told me to give this to you. "
He opened it, then groaned and put his head in his hands. It was a PSP©, and baseball 'to be put on backwards'.
I just started giggling and giggling. Artemis just narrowed his eyes and pounced on me, tickling me with no mercy. "Stop-haha- please-heehee-AH! Please stop-haha!"
"What's the word I'm looking for, oh yeah, no! Muahahahaha!"
Angeline was watching from the crack in the doorway. "Mission GALUSHTF (A.K.A Get Artemis to Loosen Up Since He's to Formal) complete."

~AxH~

Artemis and I were walking out in the garden, while being watched by two certain twins, and a certain Butler's sister with a video camera.
"I didn't know you weren't an outdoorsy person, Arty"
"Yeah well I don't get out much, since Beckett and Myles-Hurrk!" Artemis was suspended by his ankle.
"Oh, so 'Hurrk' is a word. You've used it twice, so it must be." I said.
He glared at me, ignoring the comment, and said,"And this why I don't come out here anymore. An hour hanging upside down and you learn to stay out of the garden."
I smiled.
"I'll get you down." I took out my omni-tool and cut the rope.
"No! WAIT!" He fell into an undignified heap. "Ow..."
I snickered and helped him up. We continued walking, and then I realized how close we were. A faint blush enveloped my face.
Random Know-All Narrator POV
Holly and Artemis were walking, when Beckett and Myles put Phase 2 of Mission GHATSTOCAE(Get Holly and Artemis Together Since They're Obviously Crazy About Eachother [Only Juliet and Angeline knew what the letters stand for, Myles and Beckett just help execute the plan])
The thinnest of ropes was tied in between two trees convienently placed across from eachother. Artemis and Holly were approaching the rope, when they both tripped and landed on each other, both blushing tomato red. Angeline signalled Myles, and romantic music started playing.
Artemis whispered something in Holly's ear, and then they got up and started dancing.
"You're not really supposed to dance in LEP uniforms." Holly said
"You can't really dance in skinny jeans either." Artemis countered. "So just waltz or tango, as long as you don't step on my sneakers."
'He's really attached to those Converses, huh' Holly thought, shaking her head and just danced. And then they tripped over the line again.
This time, they kissed. Artemis still got his fingers tangled up into Holly's short auburn hair (How he did that is one of the worlds unsolved mysteries.)
Angeline cheered, holding the camera, while Juliet had her hands clamped over the twins eye's, leading them out of the garden, telling them not to do that at their age. When the twins were safely inside, Juliet came back and pointed the camera at Artemis and Holly.
"Hartemis!" Juliet called out cheerfully. Artemis covered the camera with his hand. Juliet turned off the camera and hugged them. "You guys are so cute together! When are you getting married?"
Both Holly and Artemis started to splutter. Angeline and Juliet just giggled.
"I'll plan, you decorate." Angeline whispered into Juliet's ear.
Then Artemis got an idea. He hugged Holly and asked,
"Holly Short, will you be my girlfriend?"
"Yes, of course!" Holly exclaimed
And of course, they kissed again, savoring the moment, until a 'manly'(read: high pitched and girly) scream interupted it.
Juliet said, "Man, it's been so long since I heard that scream."

~AxH~

They all rushed in, and saw Butler hanging upside down.
"Butler... that was you?!" Artemis asked, bewildered.
"Yes." The man mountain said. "I never knew you screamed like that."
Either he blushed(which is very uncharacteristic of him) or the blood started to rush to his head. Artemis thought it was the latter.
"I'll get you down", Artemis said, and made the unfortunate mistake of stepping foward, since then he was suspended from the ceiling also.
Holly sighed pecked him on the lips. "I'll get the omni-tool and the marshmallow guns of death."
"Thanks Holly."

~AxH~

So Butler and Artemis got their revenge on Beckett and Myles, Artemis loosened up, and underground, all the Hartemis fairy fans got a good show, courtesy of Angeline and an iris cam, and it turns out the twins stole the rope from Angeline.

I know I'm horrible at romance scenes. But practice makes perfect, right