Author's Rant: Um, first, I would like to say that this idea of mine is very general that many could use the same idea, but at the same time, not have a similar work to mine. So in case anyone does use the same idea (making a parody out of fairy tales and such), let's not jump into conclusion that they're copying me or I'm copying them. Read both work first! (I'm pretty sure that theirs is better…)

Though, if the fic premises are really alike, and just seemingly rephrased, do tell me so I could settle it peacefully with the other writer(s). Thank you, hope you enjoy this chapter.

Warnings: FWA, BWS, and OOC moments would occur. Crack!Fic because it was supposed to be that way. Gender-bending might occur due to the lack of female characters in the series. Also contains homo pairings. Read at your own risk, you have been warned.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kuroko no Basuke and its characters. I also don't own the story "Snow White" or even "Frog Prince" in this matter.

Snow White… Snow ah-eh-um… Snow.

Once upon a time there lived a king and a queen who ruled over a faraway kingdom. The queen was a beauty to behold and yet her(?) humble kindness made it so that she(?) is loved by the people. Her(?) only grief is that she(?) had wished for a child but for years now, and it still hasn't been granted.

One winter day, the queen, Himuro, was doing some needle work by her… his room's balcony. He was startled when he felt something tickle his foot… it was a black-and-white furred dog.

"Wasn't it supposed to be a bird?" Himuro asked as he noticed Nigou playing around by his feet.

"We didn't have any other animal." The supposed king replied across the room, not daring to go nearer the abominable creature, in his opinion anyway. "If you prefer Izuki-senpai or Takao, that's fine too." Actually, Kagami prefers those two better.

"No, Taiga. This is fairly enough." Himuro shook his head, half pitying Kagami and half-mocking him with his grin. "Oh, it's that part that I should have accidentally pricked myself." And so, Himuro improvised and pricked himself intentionally.

The queen saw how a drop of blood dropped into the snow where Nigou was playing. Himuro then saw the wonders and beauty of the colours complimenting each other.

"Oh, how I wish that I had a child that had a skin as white as snow, lips as red as blood, and hair as black as… um… this dog's fur?" There was a bit of questioning tone by the end but Himuro did say his lines out perfectly… until Kagami decided to ruin it.

"Of course you can't get a child, you're a freaking guy." And so, the queen decided to throw his so-called needle work towards Kagami. "I know that but it's what the script said!" Himuro didn't look angry, but he did seem flustered. Wonder what went on in his brain (or imagination) right now?

Kagami dodged the said needle work then scratched the back of his head. "Relax, no one takes these stories seriously." Then in a sudden, Nigou started barking at a distance which made Kagami scurry away almost immediately.

"What is it little dog?" Himuro asked as he patted the Nigou in attempt to calm him. He then glanced towards the direction the dog was looking at. What he saw both surprised and sent shivers down his spine.

"A rainbow…" The queen trailed off, feeling cold sweat trickling down by his temple. "I wonder where is this story going?"

Soon enough, kind Himuro finally got his wish and finally gave birth to a girl—boy—child. Unfortunately, the queen died giving birth to the child who the king soon named as Snow White.

"…now what?" Aomine asked as everyone in the Generation of Miracles are crouching in the corner, having their emergency meeting.

"I'm not sure either, Aomine-kun." Kuroko briefly answered for everyone. Akashi reaffirmed the pale boy's word. "Indeed, there's no 'white' among us."

Momoi then raised her hand energetically and spoke. "Oh, why not me? I'll be Snow White since I'm the only girl."

Midorima shook his head and answered. "In that case the title will change to Snow Pink. There's no such thing as pink-coloured snow."

"Then why don't you do it Midorin?" Momoi exclaimed as she pouted. Midorima fixed his glasses up as he reacted. "In that case, it would become Snow Green."

"I think that one's possible though." Kise absent-mindedly commented. The bespectacled boy raised his brow at the blonde before making a deadpan comment. "With what? With mold?"

"Then why not Mukkun?" The only girl in the group suggested. She was having enough of Midorima's complaints.

"If we make Murasakibara-kun the princess, we'll have a hard time finding a prince to match his height." Kuroko decided to put his two cents. Everyone nodded in agreement.

"Why not me, since I'm the prince-like character?" Kise inquired, obviously ecstatic. He was easily shrugged by Aomine's smirk and words. "Whatever, Snow Yellow."

The blonde had to jokingly do that hurt expression. "So mean Aominecchi~!" But then it easily turned into a mischievous grin. "Oh well, it's not like you qualify too with that tanned skin." Of course, Aomine answered that with a glare.

"How about Akashi-kun?" Kuroko suddenly interrupted when he said those words while half-serious, half-apathetic.

"Snow Red?" Kise paused then shook his head. "No way, not possible Kurokocchi." He was about to chuckle at the idea when he felt daggers his way.

Akashi made a sinister grin and looked straight to topaz orbs. "Want me to show you how it's going to be possible Ryouta?"

Kise visibly sweat-dropped and the rest just wished him farewell in their minds. "Ah.. sure, if it doesn't entail shedding blood."

The redhead made a disappointed smile before letting the copycat off the hook. "Too bad, Ryouta. Too bad."

Though there was only one last member, no one dared to say it except Momoi. "How about Tetsu-kun then?"

Aomine was the first to comment on it. "Snow Black is it? It doesn't sound bad." The rest nodded except Akashi.

"That would be copyright infringement to Acc*l World though." Akashi announced the reason for his disapprovement.

"Did you really have to mention that Akashicchi?" Kise just had to ask. If Akashi didn't mention it, then they would have moved on to the story.

Midorima believed that it was time that they set their priorities right. "Why don't we first check the requirements to being Snow White?" Without anyone complaining, they all agreed to continue.

"Skin as white as snow. Most characters have pale skin anyway." Aomine said, and was keeping to himself the part, 'except from me.'

"Lips as red as blood. We could use lipstick." Kise added helpfully, such was the knowledge of a model.

"Hair as black as Nigou's fur." The pale boy concluded. Everyone stared at him. "What?" They all simultaneously shook their heads. "Nothing."

The green-haired boy cleared his throat before continuing. "I think we should look for a character with black hair instead."

"Muro-chin?" Murasakibara, who was eating the whole time, was the first to nominate.

Akashi sighed at his antics. "He was the queen already, Atsushi." The giant seemed to just realize and nodded in Akashi's way.

"Okay, so no one meet the requirements—" The redhead announced but was immediately cut by Midorima. "Wait, wait, wait."

Kuroko stared at Midorima with his blank look. "You didn't have to say it thrice, Midorima-kun."

Well, Midorima knew that but… "No, I mean, Himuro isn't the only black-haired character in the series!"

"Hmm?" The ace lazily reacted before scratching his head. "We know."

Midorima felt a headache coming his way. "Then why are we ending it there?" Akashi simply gave him a bored look before replying. "Because I said so."

The bespectacled boy tried to calm his nerves. "Fine. So what do we do now?"

"I have an idea!" Kise brought forth but was immediately shot down by Midorima. "Rejected."

The blonde pouted and sulked, then complained. "You haven't even heard it Midorimacchi! Come on, just hear me out."

When Kise made that pouty face, he had already won it and there was no more point in arguing otherwise. And so they listened to his idea.

"If it's going to be like that, then the story narration would have to be rewritten." Kuroko muttered and all Midorima could do was facepalm himself. "I don't even know why you're considering rewriting it."

Ah. Eh... Let's rephrase the previous narration then.

Soon enough, kind Himuro finally got his wish and finally gave birth to -clears throat- seven children. Unfortunately, the queen obviously died giving birth to the seven children (all in one pregnancy, mind you) who the king named after the rainbow seen on that fortunate winter day.

"Now isn't that better?" Kise proudly asked. The bespectacled teen found himself in a pounding headache. "Tell me just how is that better?"

"First, it was more natural that the queen died. It's not like the queen had any physiological problems to have died giving birth to one mere child. At least with seven, it's acceptable." The blonde tattled on and on.

The green-haired teen told him still. "Actually, giving birth to seven, and all were able to live, would be Guinness-worthy." Kise just gave him a don't-be-a-killjoy look before continuing. "And second, we won't have to argue who gets the role."

"I see," Kuroko found that next reason to be more useful than the first. But of course, Akashi reminded him. "It shouldn't be 'I see,' Tetsuya."

"And lastly," he was about to conclude but of course, Kise had to pause there to increase the curiosity. "Since we're seven already, we can forget about the dwarves!"

Momoi then clapped her hands. "Oh, nice one Ki-chan!"

"To suddenly cut off an important element of the story..." Midorima trailed off as he wonders about what will happen to the story. "This is no longer Snow White, is it?"

Hearing him mutter, Murasakibara had to speak his mind. "Mido-chin's right. We should probably rename the story."

Which, of course, greatly shocked the bespectacled teen. "Oi, that's not my point."

"How about 'Snow Seven'?" Momoi inquired to the group. She ignored Midorima's claims.

"Sounds like Lucky Seven." The tanned boy replied to her. He also ignored Midorima's protest.

"Then how about Snow Rainbow?" The girl suggested another, this time having more conviction to it.

"I think that's okay." The light blue-haired boy affirmed. He also ignored Midorima on the background. Actually, everyone was ignoring him.

"I see, then it's decided." Akashi exclaimed before Midorima suddenly stood up from his position. "No it's not. Really, please take this seriously."

Hating the fact that another person was towering over him, Akashi also assumed the standing position. "We're taking this seriously, Shintaro."

The giant also took his turn in straightening himself up. "Um, Mido-chin, we really need to move on to the story." The rest soon followed after him.

"Fine. It's not my fault for what will happen."

Anyway, let's go back to the story, shall we?

After a year of the queen's death, the king met a woman and married her. However soon after that, the king died suspiciously and Snow… Rainbow, being underage as they are, weren't allowed to rule the kingdom. Therefore, the new queen, Aida Riko reigned the land.

Riko didn't like the king's children. But she didn't mind as long as the seven didn't bother her. If she would have to say, she might even just like Kuroko a bit, since the boy hardly has any presence, and when the boy talks, he's really polite. But as for the rest, it's a whole different issue.

Anyway, the new queen owned a magic mirror, of which she would ask almost daily: "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?"

Each time she asked, the mirror would always reply. "Thou, my queen, is the fairest of them all." And with that, Riko would live her everyday happy and vain.

Soon enough, after a few years, all the seven children of the king grew up to be fine and outstanding individuals. They rather stand-out a little too much.

Akashi had the most vibrant red hair colour and he is obviously a master in mind and strategy games. Kise is popular to both women and men due to his looks and ability to do things at one glance. Midorima had the most beautiful eyelashes and probably the only one sane in the group. Kuroko is cute and loved (too much) by the rest of his siblings. Aomine excelled in his strength and probably has the best flexibility of all. Murasakibara had the perfect length of limbs and insatiable stomach. And last but not the least, Momoi has a nice body and an intellectual mind comparable to most scholars of the kingdom. Not as much as Akashi's though.

Anyway, it was one simple day that as she noticed the growing seven and decided to pay her magic mirror a short visit.

"Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?" She asked.

Riko was flabbergasted when it replied: "You, my queen, are fair; it is true. But one of Snow Rainbow is even fairer than you."

The queen was in a fit of rage. But she knew she has to calm down. It was only one out of the seven. She just had to properly pick that one out and she'll be the fairest again.

Riko then decided to check herself out in the mirror. And then noticed. "That Momoi girl has bigger rack than me so it must be her." She muttered as her eyes scrutinize her own flat chest.

At this discovery, she ordered her huntsman to dispose of Momoi late in the night and take back her heart as proof. But being the beautiful and nice girl Momoi was, the huntsman felt guilty and instead of killing her and taking her heart, the huntsman gave her a small house in the woods and asked her to stay low and be safe. The huntsman gave the queen a horse's heart and lied about being able to kill Momoi.

Next day came too soon, and the six princes finally realized that they're missing their seventh sibling. The townspeople grieved for the missing princess, on the other hand, the princes were trying to assess their situation.

Outside of this bustle and commotion, the queen came to her magic mirror once again and asked. "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?"

Then the mirror replied. "You, my queen, are fair; it is true. But still, one of Snow Rainbow is even fairer than you."

With that, she thought that she made her mistake. She looked at the mirror once again and observed. Then she is struck by another realization. "That Kise's face is much more defined than mine. It must be him."

So again, she ordered her huntsman to dispose of Kise. The blonde was so cheerful and easy-to-fool that the huntsman couldn't bear to himself to kill the boy. So he escorted Kise to where Momoi was staying and again, lied to the queen about being able to dispose Kise.

With another one of their sibling going missing, the remaining five was bothered. The townspeople grieved again, this time for their beloved prince. The queen, like usual, didn't care.

"Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?" Riko asked again, this time sounding a little annoyed.

The mirror spoke to her. "You're fair alright?" Riko raised her brow because she heard her magic mirror sound… out-of-character. "But I tell you, one of Snow Rainbow is much fairer than you."

She then checked herself out in the mirror one last time. And she realized a lot of things. Midorima's eyelashes, Kuroko's pale skin, Murasakibara's perfect limbs etc, etc. "Argh! Why don't you just tell me who it is?" Riko demanded to her magic mirror.

"No way, no suspense." If the mirror had a face, Riko was sure that it was smirking at her.

"Fine," she breathed. "Hyuuga-kun!" She called out. Hyuuga, the huntsman, entered the room. "Yes?"

"Dispose the rest of Snow Rainbow," she ordered, her voice rang with finality.

And so, though very reluctant, Hyuuga came to dispose of the princes… if that was even possible. For one, he knew that if he could even kill anyone, it would only be Kuroko or maybe not… if the pale boy hides some sort of hidden, monstrous strength like his brothers. So in the end, he decided to try and talk peacefully to them. If peaceful was even in their vocabulary. Well, it wouldn't hurt if the first one he approaches is Kuroko. Or so he thought.

"Hyuuga-senp— I mean, Hyuuga-san. Why are you here in the middle of the night?" Kuroko asked to the petrified Hyuuga at the doorway. Hyuuga was expecting Kuroko, but he wasn't expecting the redhead to be in there as well.

There in the middle of the king-size bed was the pale boy, on top of him was Akashi straddling the smaller boy in a not-so-brotherly way. Rather than brothers, Hyuuga thinks that they were lovers instead.

"State your reasons as to why you're here." Akashi ordered, his stare sending daggers towards Hyuuga. With that, a lump seemed to form in his throat and it was hard to talk.

Hyuuga pushed his glasses up with his hand and remained silent. Akashi decided to speak once again. "To be in here in such a time… Perhaps you're connected to Satsuki and Ryouta's disappearance."

The situation was already awkward but the temperature went several degrees lower with that. Now both princes, even Kuroko, are glaring at the poor Hyuuga.

Hyuuga gulped and tried to speak. "I'll say what I know…?"

And so, the pitiful huntsman confessed and soon led the five princes to their two siblings' location. Hyuuga pleaded them to all stay in the house since it was the queen's order to have them all disposed. On the other hand, the rest seemed to be happy to oblige.

"Sure, you mean to live here right?" Aomine happily commented as he looked at the house.

Akashi also smiled. "Indeed. It is much better than that wide castle. Smaller house means desperate measures." There was a certain momentum to his speech. "We would all sleep in the same room."

"Really, Akashicchi?" The copycat sounded really delighted. The redhead nodded at him before adding. "Except for Satsuki, of course. She's a girl."

Hyuuga observed them before muttering to himself. "In my opinion, I think it's Kuroko who's supposed to be separated from the rest."

"Are we asking you huntsman?" The dangerous glint in Akashi's eyes scared Hyuuga. "Nope. Sorry."

The huntsman came back to the queen to report that he had disposed of the princes. Imagine Riko's happiness to that. She hurriedly came to her magic mirror and asked her question.

"Mirror, mirror on the wall, who in the land is the fairest of them all?"

The mirror replied to her. "You, my queen, are fair; that is true. But Snow Rainbow, in the forest, all seven of them, are thousand times fairer than you." And with those words, she was shock.

"HYUUGA-KUN!" She shouted in rage. The mentioned individual ran to her side on instinct. "What is it my queen?" Riko took hold of his collar and yanked them up. "Why is Snow Rainbow, all seven of them, still alive?"

Hyuuga sweat-dropped. "Well, do you really have to kill them?" He asked in attempt to avert her anger.

"If I don't, I won't be fairest of all!" She complained to him.

Hyuuga sighed and placed his hands over hers. "Do you really have to be the fairest? I like you the way you are."

And then there was an abnormally long silence. "W-what.." Riko trailed off, her hands losing strength, letting go of Hyuuga. The huntsman just looked upwards as if to think. "Is there even any other way to say it?"

It took a full minute before Riko internalized the situation before blushing up. "Fine, it doesn't matter if I'm not the fairest." She then seemed to be fidgety on her place. "But how about Snow Rainbow?"

"Why don't you apologize to them?" Hyuuga suggested but regretted it when he saw that strange glitter in her eyes. "I see. How about I cook or bake for them or something?"

And so the queen, in her attempt to apologize, tried to do some cooking. Since she knows that the seven won't welcome her with open arms, she disguised herself in a cloak and went to the house Hyuuga indicated to her.

And so she knocked at the small house's door. It was Kuroko and Akashi that opened up the door. "Yes? Who might you be?" The pale boy politely asked.

"Ah, eh.. I'm just a wandering woman." Riko replied, not having much things to say. The two eyed her suspiciously.

"Who is it Kuro-chin?" Murasakibara suddenly appeared from behind the two and asked. "A wandering woman." The shorter boy replied. Aomine suddenly butted in the conversation. "A wandering woman? Sounds fishy."

At the mention of woman, Momoi immediately went to Kuroko's side. "Tetsu-kun, you shouldn't be speaking to other woman besides me!" She protested in her fit of jealousy. Soon enough, they started ignoring Riko.

"Ah, well, I would like to share with you something I baked." She said as she tried to get their attention back.

At the mention of the word 'baked,' she immediately took the giant's focus. "Baked?"

Nervously, she nodded and showed her basket. "Here! Apple pie." Surprisingly, it did look like one.

"It looks nice." Murasakibara commented as he felt his stomach rumbling as he reached out to the food. Akashi slapped his hand away. "Atsushi, what did I say about taking things from strangers?"

"But…" Tears were starting to form in the corners of his eyes in attempt to bend the redhead to his wills. But before even Akashi could do just that, another voice took everyone's attention.

"What are you all doing there?" Midorima questioned the gathering by the doorway, beside him was the blonde.

"Midorima-kun, Kise-kun…" Kuroko trailed off but decided to explain the situation that he had observed. "Well, this woman is offering us her apple pie. Murasakibara-kun wanted a taste but if you remember, Akashi-kun warned us about this kind of thing."

"I see. Then why don't you ask someone to sample it first?" Midorima suggested smartly... or maybe not when he felt all pairs of eyes are on him. "What's with those looks?"

"Mido-chin…" Murasakibara used his teary-eyed expression to try make Midorima comply to his wishes.

"No," the bespectacled boy took a single step back. "W-why me?" He asked, obviously scared of the idea.

"Well, you suggested." Akashi grinned at him. Even though Kuroko had his usual blank expression, his eyes glinted with mischievousness as he took the apple pie and handed them over to Midorima. "Here Midorima-kun."

It was really getting scary for Midorima, but a sudden commotion took all their attention; Takao riding a horse. Needless to say, he just saved Midorima in a dire situation.

"SHIN-CHAN~!" Takao shouted as he leapt off his horse and glomp-ed the green-haired boy.

Still a bit frazzled, the only words Midorima could say was… "Takao, what are you doing here?"

Confidently, Takao announced to everyone. "I'm the prince of the story!" Then he whispered to the bespectacled teen. "So are you Snow White?"

"There's no Snow White. I don't think we'll need a prince too." Midorima deadpanned.

And of course, Takao decide to react to that negatively. "Eh?! That's unfair." Then he noticed the food in Midorima's hand. "Oh, is that pie? Let me taste—umph."

Before anyone could stop him, Takao bit at the apple pie slice in Midorima's hand. But suddenly, he went silent. "Takao?" Midorima inquired, worrying over Takao.

When a smoke suddenly appeared, Murasakibara made a very short comment. "Uh oh."

Some coughed while the others tried to shoo the smoke away. And when the smoke cleared up, they were surprised to see Midorima with a… hawk.

"What the— How did he become a hawk?!" Aomine seriously looked shocked. Well, most of them were, even the creator of the said apple pie.

Kuroko patted Midorima's shoulder and exclaimed. "Midorima-kun, it's up to you to kiss him and turn him back to human." He is uncharacteristically smiling, which only means that he's making fun of Midorima.

"Tetsuya, I think that's from a different fairy tale. That one's frog prince." Akashi commented with a similar grin to the pale boy.

Kise giggled a bit before adding. "Or in this case, hawk prince."

Silence grew on all of them without anyone doing anything at all. It was the devil captain that decided to break the ice. "What are you waiting for Shintaro? Kiss him."

Midorima was still in his position. Then in a low voice, he asked. "Do you all have to watch while I do this?"

Everyone, and I meant everyone, even Riko, said all at once. "Yes."

That didn't make the green-haired teen any happy and just stared at them. When it didn't work, he reluctantly tried to communicate with his eyes to Akashi.

"Fine. Everyone, give Shintaro his privacy." Akashi announced, finding the bespectacled boy a bit pitiful. But then, the blonde reacted. "Eh?" And he really sound disappointed.

"Don't complain Ryouta." The redhead commanded but Kise just pouted. "But…"

It took one sigh before Akashi spoke again. "Be settled with this." He yanked copycat's head down before chastely kissing the model. When he parted, Kise's cheeks immediately flared up. "A-akashicchi…"

"No fair Akashi-kun, me too." Kuroko exclaimed and Akashi lovingly sighed at that. "Fine, come here Tetsuya." The pale boy immediately launched himself to the redhead with those words, claiming those lips for one heated kiss.

Murasakibara, seeing this whole situation, pouted for being left out. "Aka-chin…" Another sigh erupted from Akashi, this time it spelled troublesome, before he stated. "Yes, of course, you too Atsushi." Since Murasakibara was taller, he had to bend considerably down for Akashi to reach and kiss him.

"When did they become your harem Akashi?" Aomine inquired as he watched the whole scene with irritation. The redhead just smirked at his words. "Are you jealous, Daiki?"

But even before the ace could retaliate to that, Momoi interrupted. "Um, guys, we're in the climax of the story. Why are you doing some sideline kissing?"

Akashi almost chuckled. "Because Shintaro still haven't kissed him." Then he teasingly asked. "Do you want me to do it for you, Shintaro?"

"No!" Midorima immediately rejected. Akashi's eyes then turned commanding. "Then get on with it."

Midorima, blushing too much probably due to embarrassment, or possibly also due to other things, finally leaned his lips towards the beak of the hawk. Soon, a blinding light emerged and then simultaneously disappeared. Takao then regained back his human form.

"Shin-chan~! I love you, marry me!" Takao happily proposed as he showered him kisses.

On the other hand, the bespectacled teen tried to pry off the overly-affectionate Takao. "I just did it because I have to save you alright? It didn't mean anything."

If it was possible, Takao would have squealed by now due to the extremely cute, flustered reaction that he had extorted from Midorima. "Here you go again with your tsundere reactions."

As the two bickered like a married couple, Riko threw in her question. "Are two princes even allowed to get married?"

Everyone stopped in their tracks till Takao decided to speak up. "Isn't that where our roles as royalty come into place?"

Midorima stared pointedly at Takao. "I don't think your status is to be taken advantage of that way though, Takao."

Anyway, after this event, Snow Rainbow went back to the castle as they were welcomed back by the queen, with her new husband. Midorima is pursued daily by the distant country's prince and soon gave in to Takao's wishes and got married. And they all lived happily ever after… Whatever happened to the rest of the Snow Rainbow… well… only the castle's bedchambers knows.

End Rant: Apparently, I'm Hyuuga x Riko shipper... :D So how was this one? Sorry if I fail in this kind of things. I always attempt humour when I don't even have skills for it. orz

Next one, well, what would be nice? Alice in Wonderland? Tale of the Bamboo Cutter? Straw Millionaire? Little Mermaid? Let me think for awhile.