Chapter Sixty: The Paintball Ultimatum

It was Sunday morning. The afternoon held so much hype and gaurtuneed fun that when Kate and Sheldon readied for the Paintball Weekend, Sheldon was talking incessantly about it from the time they got up, to the time they sat for breakfast and then when the group of people arrived for a paintball strategy briefing.

As Sheldon pulled up a holographic screen which understood hand movements as it followed Sheldon's as he placed the required personell on the graph, Kate had a good idea of what football players felt before acting their performance. It was everyone included, except Amy and Stuart, who were at the comic book store, preparing for the party.

On the couch was Penny and Leonard (on one cushion as Penny sat in between Leonard's legs), and Kate. She sat on the middle cushion, her legs crossed as she drank a Diet Coke. The left spot of the cushion, of course, was empty, as Sheldon had eternal dibs on that one.

Bernadette and Howard stood behind the couch, and Rajesh was in the armchair. While the others were lacking in attention span, as all of them would eventually run and start shooting as always, Kate, who revered Sheldon, watched him.

Penny, then, raised her hand, which was at turn, her gun. Sheldon acknowledged her.

"Yes, Penny?"

"What about Amy?" asked Penny. "If we leave her out, she might feel lonely again and then you may have to cuddle. We all know what a nightmare that will be."

Sheldon gave her a look and said, "Penny, Amy and Stuart are not here because they're not playing. As you very well know, they're at the comic book store."

"So?" said Penny. "She'll still feel lonely."

"Doubtful," Kate remarked, looking to her right at Penny. "Amy and Stuart have long ago filled their relationship with similar interests; they weren't much of a help when we last played anyway, as they were making out behind a rock."

"Too true," Leonard agreed.

Penny shrugged, saying, "I just don't want anyone to be left out."

"What are you talking about?" Leonard said, laughing. "You and Kate are going to be the ones shooting; we're all going to watch."

"Leaving us to the wolves," Kate mused. She nudged Penny's arm and said, "Don't worry, I've got your back."

Penny smiled.

"It's not that bad," said Howard. He gave Kate a smirk and said, "Just pretend all the girls are Chance."

While this was amusing to Leonard, Howard, and Rajesh, the girls and Sheldon glanced at Howard with disapproval. Kate, who said nothing in return, made no retort but the smile on her face disappeared instantly.

Recovering from Howard's obvious blow, Sheldon attempted to gain everyone's attention back to the board.

"As planned, Leonard, Raj, and Bernadette will cover Kate and Penny as they attack the geology department. Once they're finished, we back track to the fence and behind the barn. When we're there, assuming we've lost no one, Leonard, Rajesh, Howard, and Bernadette will cover Kate and Penny..."

"Oh stop," said Leonard impatiently. "You know that the moment we go in we're all going to hide and Kate and Penny will go in firing, guns blazing. It's happened like that the last several times. What'll change now?"

"Because," said Sheldon with tone that was clearly obvious to everyone, "we're going to have a strategy. Ever since Friday, we've always had an advantage."

"What's that?" inquired Howard.

Sheldon smirked—yes, smirked—and with that, Leonard and all of them looked from Sheldon to Kate, at whom he was grinning widely at. They all looked stumped though.

"On Friday, during lunch at Cal-Tech, Kripke and Kate met," said Sheldon.

"-Sheldon-", began Leonard but Sheldon stopped him.

"No, no, no, let me finish!" Sheldon said, powering down the presentation. "Kate is the ultimate weapon. Kripke's going to be on the field tonight and with a little feminine charm, she can bring Kripke to his knees. After all, he's the treacherous little monster that made us pay last game."

"Sheldon, it was a fair fight. He had you cornered!" Leonard insisted.

"What?" said Kate.

Leonard and Penny turned to Kate almost forgetting that she'd gone to work a double shift, which left her out of the game entirely. Penny shook her head; according to her, evidently, it was ridiculous.

"Barry had Sheldon cornered in the barn. Sheldon was going to shoot then he started bad-mouthing Meemaw."

Sheldon looked affronted and said defensively, "And then he shot me."

"Yeah, right in the chest," Howard said. He mimicked gun fire and hit his own, making a dead gasp as he did so. Kate smiled and turned to Sheldon.

"Why were you cornered?" asked Kate.

"Because they left me to die," Sheldon said, rounding on Leonard and Howard.

Bernadette smiled and said, "It's just a game, Sheldon."

"I beg to differ," Sheldon responded. "Abandonment is a ground for a court-martial, even death. I daresay that Wolowitz and Hodfstader more than proved their loyalty. It was below to exemplify my revenge by doing the same, but as we work as a team, I decided otherwise."

The news sunk in and Leonard stared at Sheldon, saying, "You were going to leave me to die this time?"

"Yes," said Sheldon shamelessly. He narrowed his eyes and said, "It's less than what you deserve."

Kate suppressed a smile. At times, it seemed that paintball was the only war any of them would participate, so they might as well do their part.

"Well," said Leonard, "I know my Penny won't sacrifice me. Right, Penny?"

Penny looked over her shoulder at a smiling Leonard but her answer was less than reassuring when she said, "I don't know, Leonard; Kate has my vote. If you die, I may have to move on."

Leonard gave her a laughing breath but when Penny remained serious, he suddenly looked nervous. As the team briefing was over ("thank god!" everyone sighed) the others were piling into Kate's car. As usual, Sheldon sat in the passenger seat.

They were silent until Penny, who was against the silence, ultimately stopped it.

"The silence in this car is creepy," said Penny.

"We like it like that," Bernadette stated, being entertained. She was watching Howard demonstrate a card trick, at which Sheldon did his best to ignore, for he hadn't found out the solution just yet.

Kate watched his lips purse as Howard did the magic trick with the others in the back seat. Sheldon shook his head, in an attempt to dismiss the obvious aggravation he was feeling. Kate looked at him.

"What's Plan B?" asked Kate. "Should I be cornered?"

Sheldon looked at her incredulously.

"Why would you be cornered?"

"I'm not an Elf, Sheldon," said Kate. "I wish I had the stealth and feat of one, sometimes the actual literal feet. They're quiet and great hunters. I'm only human. So what's your back-up plan if Penny and I would get captured?"

Sheldon looked at her and said, "I'll slaughter all that stand in my way."

"Don't be silly," said Leonard.

Sheldon gave Leonard a cool, and calculating look. Apparently, he was dead serious. It made Leonard and Penny glance at each other, but Kate, who was deeply touched, merely smiled in spite of herself.

"Back to creepy silence," whispered Penny.

Leonard smiled at her, but when Penny turned to look out the window, there was something in his smile that reflected more than just bemusement. Kate saw in the rearview mirror that he was in a daze, a dream-like state. He was wanting to pop the question any moment, but was trying his best to keep it under tabs.

Kate parked and the others got out quickly, eager. When Kate shut the car door, she felt someone touch her shoulder. She turned and saw Sheldon. He pulled up his goggles and Kate smiled, seeing his blue eyes.

"What's up, General?" Kate remarked.

"Amusing; your reference to the leader of an army is signifying that I'm the leader of this one." Sheldon stated the obvious. After which, he giggled with a breathy laugh. Kate grinned as he was entertained.

"My back-up plan, Kate, if you get captured, is to find a way out. Kill Kripke, if he's the one that captures you; trust me, it won't be much of a loss."

Kate smiled broadly.

"Gladly," she said. She cocked her gun, at which Sheldon gave her an admiring gaze. "What?"

"I admire your determination in the fight," said Sheldon. "Although, frankly, your blood lust is truly alarming but I always guessed that was the surgeon appeal in you, coming out to play."

"Sheldon, I'm a surgeon—not a sadist."

"There's a very thin line between the two," said Sheldon boldly.

Kate registered it, then beamed at him. She placed her hands on her mirrored half and said with a gentle tone, "Understood." She then grinned to the point her teeth shone brightly and added, "Let's go kill some dirt people."

Of course, she was referring to the geologists.

Sheldon followed to the field. Before the game actually began, the enemies—geologists, astrologists, and namely Kripke and Leslie who led them—met in the center. The referee stood in the middle, holding up his hands.

"Team Kripke, step forward—the General and his co-commander to meet the opposing." He announced.

Kripke, armed in battle garb, stepped forward. His co-commander, Leslie, who was smirking at Sheldon and Kate, stood directly beside him. Sheldon stepped forward opposite of Kripke, as the Ring leader, and his second-in-command, Kate, allied him, opposite of Leslie.

"Shake hands!" demanded the Referee. They did so but with less enthusiasm as the median.

Kripke took Kate's hand rather hand and pulled to her to him, saying in low voice, "You'll be my captive, one way or another." He smirked and said, "Surrender now, and I won't shoot you."

Kate met his smile, although less enthusiastically. Leslie and Sheldon glanced at each other warily; apparently, to the two of them, this battle was for keeps.

"Then you better shoot me," said Kate. She made a daring move towards him and it made him step back a pace, which made Sheldon smile.

When the Referee clearly saw the spite, he called for the teams to gather and strategize. They all met, as planned behind the barn. They were all bent down at the knee, drawing diagrams of the strategy they'd been informed of earlier. Howard looked at Kate curiously.

"What was all that about in the center field?" he asked.

"Trash talk," said Kate. She looked at Sheldon and said lovingly, "I'd never willingly surrender." She said to Howard pointedly, "I'd rather die."

"Wow, that's a little intense for just a game," said Penny.

Kate shrugged and said, "I know, right? It's like a real battle." She winked, making Penny shake her head but laugh as well.

"WAR!" they heard the other team shout. Everyone pulled down their goggles.

"It's time," said Sheldon. They gathered in barn. As directed, those that were sent out, did so, and then others covered each other.

It was war, hell on Earth. Paint pellets shot through the air, men and women fell to the grassy mounds, lying still in the baking heat. Sweat rolled down their faces as those who were lucky enough, found shelter, hiding from the gunning fires that hit them behind their shields. Ten minutes transpired, but it might as well had been a decade.

Kate dodged over a rock, clamboring to its cold granite before glancing upwards to see that Penny was not far behind her. She beckoned over and Penny, in time, jumped over and Kate pulled her back.

"Battle report?" Kate asked.

"Um," said Penny.

"What's the status?" replied Kate.

"Oh," said Penny. "Howard and Bernadette are down."

"It's been eleven minutes!" Kate exclaimed; she ducked her head when she heard a pellet whoosh by her ears.

"Yeah, I know."

"What were they doing?"

"Making out," Penny stated, as though this should have been expected. "Apparently, there's nothing that makes Howard horny."

"At least he's doing his bones with Bernadette than us," said Kate pointedly.

"Agreed," said Penny.

"Well," said Kate, reloading her gun, "We can't very well stay here."

"Why not?"

Kate pointed above; Penny glanced over and saw that there were ten people running towards them. Leading was Kripke and Leslie.

"Shit!" Penny hissed.

"It's like war when you get into it," Kate said, laughing.

"So let's go!" Penny said. The two girls hopped from their spots and dug their heels into the earth as they sped towards a different area, turning their backs and shooting at whomever was closest to them.

Ahead of them was Leonard and Sheldon, who came out of hiding from a large bush and began shooting at those who were closing in on Penny and Kate.

"Come on, Penny!" Leonard pleaded. "Don't get shot!"

"No, because I wanted to!" Penny shouted back sarcastically.

"This is not the time for sarcasm!" Sheldon told them loudly.

As though their yells had been detected, Leslie, who was running close behind Kate, shot at Sheldon. Enraged as Sheldon narrowly dodged, Kate did a somersault to the floor and with her gun pointed at Leslie, gave a clear shot to her neck. Crying out in frustration and stinging pain, Leslie fell to the dirt mound.

Kate, Penny, Sheldon, and Leonard met behind the bush. However, their safety net had been compromised as Kripke shouted charges.

"Kate and Penny, go," said Leonard.

"Why? They can't see us?" beckoned Penny.

"No, he's right!" Kate said, glancing to the side. "They know we're here."

"We go together," said Penny.

"No," Leonard protested. "It has to be you!"

"Why?" Penny interjected. "You're the one that has trouble running!"

"I don't run from my problems," Leonard responded.

"That's ridiculous," Sheldon argued. "We've run from bullies all our lives."

"Not this one," said Leonard.

"What?" said Penny.

"Penny, I won't run from this problem," said Leonard. "I need to tell you something. Will you marry me?"

"RUN!" Kate shouted. The four scattered, although Penny and Kate were on the rebound; they made a circle, separating, then returned, guns blazing, shooting at the backs of those that were after Leonard and Sheldon.

"Get out of range!" Leonard shouted.

Penny shot at all of those who were after Leonard and the two turned the left; Kate, on the verge of her blood lust, fled after Kripke, who was, with all his might, trying to get Sheldon.

"DIE COOPER!" Kripke screamed.

From the battle lines, Kate could hear Leonard and Penny shouting at each other, perhaps to have the proper conversation while those who were opposing the proposal shot at them. Kate couldn't hear them for she took a detour, through the barn, killing two couples were waiting for her, and found that Kripke and Sheldon were heading towards this way. Sheldon, seeing Kate, ran past her. Then, finally, Kate and Kripke were aiming guns at each other.

"Well, well, well," said Kripke, smiling at Kate, "it looks like I've been defeated."

"Not quite," said Sheldon, pointedly. "She's not shot you yet." As a point, Sheldon spoke from the corner of his mouth, "Shoot him, Kate."

"Now, now," said Kripke quickly, holding his hand in somewhat surrender. "We don't have to shoot anyone."

"Yes, we do," said Sheldon. He stepped forward and Kripke aimed the paintball rifle at him, threatening to do so. He went down on the ground and looked at Kate. "What are you waiting for?"

"I want an apology," said Kate.

"For what?" said Sheldon and Kripke in unison.

"For flirting with me when you clearly knew I was his girlfriend," said Kate, gesticulating her head to Sheldon, who was on the barn floor, his gun held loosely in his hand.

As a point, Kripke kicked the gun away and now aimed fully at Kate's heart.

"What's your move, Kate?" said Kripke. "You want me to apowogize and you all leave empty-handed? That'll just weave me in a diffewent kind of suwwender. I ain't suwwendering."

Kate narrowed her eyes.

"I'll give you two choices," said Kate.

Kripke glanced at Sheldon, saying, "Is she for weal?"

"Search me," Sheldon said. "For all I know, she will and can kill the both of us. No one would know a thing."

"Aw wight, so I'm dealing with a psychopath," Kripke summarized. He looked at Kate, and cocked the gun. "I'm not planning on suwwendering Kate, you might as well hang that up."

"Who said surrender?" Kate replied. "I said I'll give you two choices. None of them end with surrender. It's death."

Kripke sighed and said, "Fine, just give me the choices so I can kill you."

Kate cocked her gun as well.

"First one: you apologize to me and I shoot you. Second one: You apologize to Sheldon for having bad-mouthed his grandmother and I shoot you." Kate said. "Those are your choices. They end in your death. Choose."

"That's an ultimatum," said Sheldon. "That's not a choice."

Kate glanced at him wordlessly but returned her deathly eyes to Kripke.

"What say you, Kripke?" Kate asked, her voice dark and dangerous.

Sheldon stared at her in awe. Dear lord, she was for real.

"Neither!" Kripke shouted. He raised his gun to her and pulled the trigger. Kate ducked and shot Kripke straight in between his eyes.

He howled in pain, and went to the ground. Kate, having every circumstance of a large grin, smirked. She looked at Sheldon.

"I'd have shot him even if he shot me," said Kate.

Sheldon stood and glanced at the wriggling man, holding his face.

"It's not exactly legal to shoot an opponent in the face; given the rate a paint ball shoots from the barrel, you could really blind a man," Sheldon told her.

Kate shrugged, saying, "It was close range. He'll be fine."

As they walked back to the barn, having the fight being over, Kate saw Leonard and Penny. They were talking.

"So..." said Leonard awkwardly. He bent on one knee. "What do you say?"

Author's Note: This is officially the last chapter of the story but fret not my pretty people, I'm intent on having a sequel ;) As always, Read and Review.