AN: If there's one lesson that we can all take from this, it's that I'm SHIT with updates. This only came after a fair amount of berating from PMB and I'm really, really, sorry. I'm a bad author.

Chapter 3

Eleven

The moment he hears it, he nearly jumps out of his skin.

"Wait- what-Rose-no! Yes. No. Stupid, of course it is! Sorry."

She stares him down, living up that wolf nickname of hers. "Bloody hell. What are you, ten?"

"Oi! Watch it! I happen to like it."

"And what's with the bowtie?"

"I wear a bow tie now, bowties are cool. Did I end up in the right universe? I hope so, although this isn't-"

"DOCTOR!" That sounds Scottish. Could it?

"Amy!" He waves over Rose's head. "Rory! I knew I'd find you!"

The redhead marches up to him and slaps him with all of her Scottish fire. "You idiot! Why did you follow us? How are ya gonna get back? What's River gonna do to ya?"

"Sorry. I need my Ponds!"

"Course you do." Amy hugged him, reaching up on tiptoe to wrap her arms around his shoulders.

"So you finally got to River?"

"Shhhhhh!" he hisses, not even sure who he's shushing. "Spoilers!"

Oh. It's him, the other Doctor. Makes sense. If she's here, he can't be far behind.

"Looks like everything's sorted here." says the metacrisis. "Those three can pop off in the TARDIS, and we can get on with our lives."

"No TARDIS. Not yet. Weeping angels zapped us here."

"Weeping Angels? That's new."

"Well, yes, new things do happen. You lot, how long has it been for you?"

"Doctor, what do you mean, not yet?" asks Rory.

"Shush!"

"Three years. You?"

"Oh,only one hundred." He makes a face. "Two. Maybe three. Rory, I mean that River will probably find us. I trust her to figure that out."

"How could she do it if you can't?"

"I'm working on that, it's a thing. Respect the thing, shut up Rory. No! Shut up everyone!"

He cuts across the mess of words filling the atmosphere and converts them to silence. "One at a time. Rose! Good to see you again. Why are you here? This beach is hours from London."

"A), we live in Cardiff, and B), Torchwood picked up this really weird artron spike coming from over here. We came to check it out."

"This spike, was it just a momentary thing?"

"Na, it was still goin on when we left."

"Ok. That's a thing, that's a good thing. Maybe we can use it to contact River. Me! Other me! Torchwood, what's the deal? Who's running it here?"

"Jack, who else?"

"Jack? Jack's here? But what-how?"

"That is a long story,"says Rose, "and we'll explain in the car on the way to Torchwood."

"Car? You've really gone domestic."

"Oi, watch it!" snaps the metacrisis. "I've got no TARDIS, whattaya expect?"

The Doctor-the other one-needs another name, otherwise they're going to keep getting mixed up. Maybe Handy. Cause-oh, never mind. Rose'll kill him.

The metacrisis starts walking off the beach, Rose waving them behind. He grins like an idiot at them. Sure, they may or may not be trapped here, but he's got the Ponds, his Rose, and apparently Jack too.

Things could be a lot worse.

A/N: Penmanboat here. I just wanted to say thanks to Frozen Nightmare for doing this. You're the best Earth Girl. (And I didn't bug her too much...)