Author's note: Riding on the success of "Fifteen Minutes" is the second installment of an epic three-part trilogy dedicated to the unknown and ambiguous characters of the Suikoden games. The first concentrated on Genso Suikoden characters; the second… well… concentrates on… uh… the… second game……… Yeah. Anyway, thank goodness for Richmond! Otherwise, I'd have to make everything up myself! As for my castle/army/hero, I'm going to have the hero named Riou. On a sillier note, both his castle and his army will be called "Stupid". So he's the leader of the Stupid Army, living in Stupid Castle. I'm so twisted!!

Return of the Fifteen Minutes

By Al Kristopher

Chicks Dig Smart Guys: The Tale of Marlowe

The atmosphere of Stupid Castle was tranquil for only a few minutes. As the sun rose up in the sky, the hush of the day teetered on edge, and a certain scholarly man quietly stepped out of his room. He peeked around, making sure that nobody was looking, and breathed a sigh of relief. His happiness instantly faded as he saw a young lady wandering around, and his face paled as the girl screamed out.

"It's him!!!" Suddenly, dozens of screaming girls erupted out of nowhere, dashing towards the poor man madly. He screamed too, but in horror, and dashed down the hallway as fast as his legs could carry him. Flik and Viktor, who had seen him run, were nearly trampled by the crowds. They thankfully jumped out of the way, and gazed in wonder as the stampede of women chased after the poor guy.

"Well," sighed Flik, "here we go again!!"

Screaming out in horror, Marlowe used every fiber of his energy to evade the swarm of girls screaming after him. He had nearly gotten trampled by the maniacal females! Even if he had somehow escaped death underneath their boots, he would not survive long if they had caught him in their embrace. Luckily, though, he had long ago learned how to hide and wait for the stampede to pass.

As he caught his breath, poor Marlowe wondered why he of all people should be the target of these girls' affections. It was true that smart men landed the occasional female, but he was weak and scrawny and not that attractive. He was also incredibly meek, and shy, and usually quiet, and definitely not out of shape, so why was he being pursued so?

It was not as if Marlowe feared girls--he had wanted a significant other in his life for some time now, but not like this! Those crazed girls were far too out of control to be with! They would smother and swoon and flaunt him like a prize trophy, leaving him to moan and wail as they dragged him around. No, he preferred a much slower relationship, one filled with things other than infatuated romance. Unfortunately, the girls of Stupid Castle saw things differently.

After narrowly escaping the advances of Ayda, Marlowe decided that it would be best for him to run off to a more public area, where some of the men present could take the ladies off his hands. He made his way to the dojo, which surprised several onlookers as Marlowe would normally never set foot in the place.

No sooner had he burst into the training area, did Marlowe instantly regret it. Standing there, wearing a drool-inducing red dress and a few pretty jewels, was the Toran Republic General Valeria. She smiled seductively as she saw the young man enter the dojo--the frighteningly-empty dojo--and took several steps towards him.

"Hey," she said in her usual creamy voice. "Did you come all this way to see me?" Marlowe whined out in misery, and slowly stepped away from the considerably-older woman. He had no intention of starting anything with Valeria, not even a conversation (at the moment), and so wanted to leave before she…… Well, he didn't want to think about it.

Suddenly, as poor Marlowe was escaping Valeria's eye, he bumped into Anita, who had been standing in the door. She was wearing a very beautiful blue dress, and also had jewels on. She giggled softly as he collided with her, and even managed to wrap her arms around his stomach.

"Hey there," she whispered softly. "You sure do have good taste."

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!"

"Hey!" shouted Valeria, whose face was quickly matching the color of her dress. "Get away from him! He's mine! I saw him first!"

"Too bad, Val!" cackled Anita, sticking her tongue out. "Marlowe obviously prefers me!"

"He does not!" screamed Valeria, yanking on Marlowe's arms. "He prefers me!"

"ME!!" shouted Anita, pulling on his arm.

"ME!!" shouted Valeria, pulling on his other arm. Marlowe whined out in pain as the two sword masters yanked on him, but try as he might, he couldn't break free.

"Ahhhhh, stop it!!!" he yelled. He could feel his arms slowly ripping out of their sockets as the two rivals fought over him, but like the genius he was, he soon formulated a plan.

"Look!" he shouted suddenly. "It's Camus and Miklotov, and they're training together in the hot sun!"

"What, where?!" shrieked the women, instantly dropping the poor boy. Marlowe fell to the floor, both dizzy and still in a lot of pain, and somehow managed to crawl away from his would-be suitors. If he had learned anything from staying at Stupid Castle, he had learned that both women had humongous crushes on the knights, and would ignore him if given the chance.

After running past the barracks, Marlowe took a breather at Huan's clinic. The good doctor thankfully offered shelter from Marlowe's stalkers, but couldn't help the laugh that came out of his mouth. Marlowe gave him a bitter look, but it was better to be laughed at here than being chased around by crazy girls out there.

After half an hour of hiding out, Marlowe caught his breath, thanked Huan for protecting him, and left the clinic in search of a better place to hide. He had been working on a biography of the young Riou, and was just in the middle of the second chapter ("Riou is adopted by Genkaku"), so he couldn't be disturbed. However, for some odd reason, nearly all the women in Stupid Castle seemed recklessly infatuated with him, and would often do very crazy things to be around him.

Making his way into the bar, Marlowe suddenly became dreadfully afraid again as Lo Wen, an acquaintance of his, gave him a sly look. Slowly, keeping a weak smile on the entire time, Marlowe sidled against the wall and crept past the lewd Lo. She winked at him, grinned, and mischievously parted her robe slightly, exposing just a whisker more of her chest. This caused poor Marlowe to finally run outside in a sprint, leaving the bandit to laugh out loud at the boy's antics.

After sprinting out of the bar, he figured that he was in the clear for the moment, and made his way towards the small market. A day of shopping always relaxed him, and soon his advanced mind became absent as he walked. Marlowe was not paying a bit of attention where he was going, which sealed his doom as he walked into the Rune shop.

"Tee-hee-hee!" came an erotic voice. Marlowe snapped out of his absentminded state, and his face became as pale as the exotic woman before him. Leaning forward against her counter, exposing much more than the beautiful pendant she wore, was the mysterious Rune mistress Jeane, looking about as inviting as icy water in the desert. She purred slyly, smiled, and silently beckoned Marlowe close with her finger. He fiercely shook his head no.

"Ohh, what's the matter, milord?" pouted Jeane. "Don't you like my company?" Marlowe's pale face turned absolutely white as he slowly backed away from her. He knew that any other man in his position would have made advancements already, but by some miracle, he was able to escape before Jeane could turn on the pheromones full blast. As he backed out of the shop, Marlowe accidentally stepped into the Runic Scroll booth…

"Ah, welcome!" sang Raura as Marlowe backed into her room. "And what can I do for you, handsome?" Marlowe's pale face had lightened considerably, and for a moment he thought that Raura would only conduct business. His assumptions failed him miserably, and it only took the gorgeous Rune wizard a few seconds to walk to his side.

"(Do you want me to show you how I make Runic Scrolls?)" she whispered softly. Marlowe nearly swallowed his Adam's apple in fear, managed a polite No, and skittered out of the room before Raura could turn on her own charm. The classy lady smiled softly as she saw him leave, and shrugged in defeat.

"Oh well," she sighed to herself. "I can always go flirt with Jess."

And that's exactly what she did.

Marlowe wheezed out a sigh of relief as he escaped the mall. He had almost forgotten the reason why he was there in the first place (to buy some ink), but thankfully remembered. Gordon was, as always, a great conversationalist, and it was with the experienced trader where Marlowe revealed his thoughts. The older man listened to everything, giving tips and pointers from time to time, or smoking on a pipe on occasion. Marlowe was a "fortunate man", according to nearly every single other male in the Castle, but he had other opinions.

Marlowe spent half an hour in the trade house, then left when he felt everything had calmed down outside. That showed how little he knew; no sooner was he out than did Lorelai approach him, although thankfully she wasn't one of the many who were infatuated with him.

"Marlowe!" she hissed, grabbing him firmly. "I need your help! Have you ever read anything about the Sindar?"

"Well, I--"

"Good!" exclaimed the adventurer, smiling victoriously before she could hear him out. "That rotten Killey's trying to get Gordon and Emilia on his side, and I was wondering if you'd like to partner up with me and Alex for awhile." Marlowe, who reasoned that a woman like Lorelai had a completely different idea of "partnership" than most of the other girls, paused for a bit to consider her deal.

"Well…"

"Of course, if you're too busy…" She paused, smiled, and slowly began to take off her mantle and outer vest, leaving Marlowe and a few other scattered wanderers to stare at her creamy-yellow shirt. He swallowed nervously as Lorelai's businesslike face grew gentle and soft, and he nearly screamed as he suddenly realized what she had in mind.

"I… I…"

"Oh, there's no need to be afraid," cooed the traveler gently. She took off her gloves, stroking his face with her delicate hands. "I'll be very, very gentle with you…" The dam broke--

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"

--and Marlowe zoomed away from Lorelai as fast as his feet permitted. After the dust settled, she cocked her head in confusion, scratched it, and shrugged. Lorelai had to find another volunteer fast, or else all that precious treasure would have been lost. Heaven forbid!

Laying flat on the ground and taking several gulps of sweet, sweet air, Marlowe stared at the sky and tried to reason things out. He was being watched over by Eilie, one of the few young ladies who was not madly "in love" with him, and couldn't have been more grateful for her kindness if he wanted to. She merely shook her head as she saw the young man lie there, wheezing like a dog, and decided to sit down and chat with him.

"You know," she began, "a lot of guys would love to be in your position." He continued wheezing, not giving any response to a statement that never needed one in the first place. Eilie managed a lopsided smile, and began to play aimlessly with her knife as she continued.

"One day, you may regret running away from those girls," she warned him. Marlowe swallowed several more gulps of air, sat up, and leaned against a barrel. He gazed at Eilie, mentally wondering whether she ever took her own advice.

"I don't think so," he replied. "I mean, it's crazy the way they chase me! I can't get a single hour for myself! I have to hire guards to watch over my room so I'm not invaded at night!" Eilie smiled and even laughed a little, but Marlowe's bitter and tired look sobered her up.

"Sorry," she apologized. "I guess some guys have all the luck, though I'd never peg you as a ladies' man, no offense."

"Neither would I," he agreed. "I'm just a quiet, average guy whose only strength lies in writing and reading. I guess girls like smart guys, but… this is just plain silly!!"

"Yeah…" she said with an empty smile. The two friends ceased their conversation for awhile, content to rest and relax in the outdoor sun. Marlowe smiled gently as he watched Eilie sitting in the grass, her hands supporting her and her legs sprawled out. She was not drop-dead gorgeous like her sister, but she was definitely beautiful, and would have made any young man happy for the rest of their life. Marlowe was glad that her heart belonged only to Lord Riou, and that maybe the romance was a lost cause, but there certainly was no harm in hoping…

And then, the brief but peaceful moment faded away as Rina and Karen approached them, laughing and talking like they had known each other for years. Eilie smiled and waved at them, but Marlowe grew nervous. Both performers were very well-known for their flirtatious habits, and with his streak of bad luck, they would both definitely try to pull something off.

"Hey, sis," smiled Rina, her arm across Karen's shoulders. "What's up?"

"Just talkin' with Marlowe here," she pointed. Rina's cheery face suddenly grew very seductive, and she raised an eyebrow.

"Really?" she sang. Karen smiled shyly, and performed her best curtsy. If the young lady from Kuskus had always acted so polite and calm, then Marlowe would have had no problems in pursuing a relationship with her. But, with Karen, this was not the case. She suffered from a Jekyll/Hyde syndrome that left one side of her personality shy and quiet, and the other wild and sensual. When both women combined their skills, there was no man that could be left standing.

Marlowe screamed out as loud as he could, and ran from the twosome before they could sprinkle their charms. Both Rina and Karen stared back at the sprinting Marlowe, neither one of them aware of what had just really happened.

"…Uh… sis…?"

"Don't ask," sighed Eilie, holding her hand up. "It's… been a real long day for him."

Which was, of course, an understatement. Marlowe had escaped the advancements of two of the sexiest young women in all the Stupid Army, just barely. In fact, up until this point, he had evaded every single unwanted advancement thrown at him, which was actually incredible considering that he was not a good runner. Marlowe's quest for a love relationship was indeed one-sided; he really did want a girlfriend, but not one that would chase him so feverishly.

Marlowe encountered triple trouble when he ran into the bizarre trinity of Millie, Meg, and Nina. None of the three girls were quite right in the head, and though they were all rather young, they each knew that they "loved" Marlowe desperately, just like every other girl out there.

"He's mine!" shouted Meg, pulling on his arm.

"No, he's mine!" shouted Millie, pulling on the other.

"He's all mine!!" screamed Nina, clutching onto his legs. Marlowe let out a scream as three young girls smothered him with their affections, but thankfully, he knew just how to get out of each situation.

"Look!" he pointed suddenly. "It's Juppo!"

"Uncle Juppo, where?!" squealed Meg. Marlowe sighed as the crazy young Trickster released him, and focused his attention on the other two.

"Hey! Look! Bonaparte's doing a cute trick!"

"Awwww, where?!" squealed Millie. "Where, where, I wanna see!!!" The eccentric young girl released Marlowe and searched in vain for her pet, only to discover minutes later that he had been on her shoulder all along.

Two down, one to go.

"Isn't that sir Flik over there?" said Marlowe, and that was all he needed to be free. With Nina and the other two girls finally out of the way, Marlowe made a beeline to the kitchen, where he hoped he would finally have some peace.

With Marlowe, peace was impossible. The kitchen was amazingly devoid of customers that day; not even Hai Yo was there, and he was always working. It appeared to be closed for the day, despite the fact that there would always be somebody hungry, so Marlowe took the emptiness well. He considered the abandoned kitchen a blessing--after all, if there weren't any people around, there would be no girls to make shameless advancements towards him. In other words, where there was not smoke, there was not fire.

His happiness faded slowly as he saw a tall warrior enter into the facility. This warrior was scantily-dressed, with a sword sheathed at her side and muscles bulging out of her body. She had wild, untamed hair, and her eyes had a sharp but empty look to them. Marlowe recognized her as Hanna, the mysterious and quiet wanderer from the Grasslands, and if he didn't know any better, Marlowe had suspected that she was there for him.

As Hanna approached the meek young man, her edgy features faded and her rough complexion grew soft. Her stony face suddenly glowed with a warm radiation, and her dead eyes sparkled with a love that had not been unearthed in years. She smiled a surprisingly sweet smile, and leaned in close so she could see the young man better.

"Hello, Marlowe," she said in a sugary voice. Marlowe, however, was anything but sweet--he was aghast. His eyes were about the size of moons, and every square millimeter of his face was covered in sweat. His face was literally blue with fear; in other words, this had taken him completely by surprise. Hanna chuckled warmly at his reaction, and placed her rough hand on his face. The rough scent she gave off was amazingly hypnotic, and Marlowe felt himself grow stiff from so much attention.

"Don't worry," she said, gazing down at him (she was much taller than him, of course). "I'm going to go very gentle with you."

"M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-miss Hanna!" muttered Marlowe. "Wh-wh-wh-wh-what the…"

"Ssh," she whispered gently. "Don't be nervous. Just relax. I'm actually quite gentle." By this time, Marlowe was ready to faint.

"But… but… you're ten years older than I am!" he insisted. Hanna grinned sweetly--which was something she had never done before, in her life--and even giggled.

"That doesn't matter!" she insisted. "In true love, age is nothing but a number!"

"But I… I… I…" Try as he might, Marlowe could not talk his way out of this one. Hanna had him backed up against the wall, and nothing save a miracle could have rescued him. Just then, as if the stars had decided to finally intervene, there came assistance in a most powerful form.

"Hanna! Just what do you think you're doing?!" called the voice. Marlowe breathed a brief sigh of relief as he saw the red-headed bodyguard Oulan emerge, and all his fears faded for the time as she grabbed Hanna by the arm and pulled the other woman away.

"Honestly, Hanna!" chastised the bodyguard. "I never expected anything like this outta you!" The slightly-older woman pouted, and gave her occasional-friend a pitiful stare.

"But… Oulan… It's… Marlowe…" As if that suddenly explained everything, Oulan released her grip, crossed her arms, and gazed at the young man emptily. Marlowe breathed a sigh of relief; Oulan was not one to suddenly throw herself at a man's feet. Besides, she was in love with Shu, or so Richmond said.

Suddenly, Oulan's face shifted from that of boredom to love. Her eyes brightened, her mouth curled up in a soft smile, and her cheeks grew rosy. Marlowe was now deathly afraid, for he suddenly remembered that Oulan had a soft spot for people who couldn't protect themselves, and he was the epitome of this requirement. She even let out a sigh, which made poor Marlowe freak out even more.

"…I… Oh…" murmured the bodyguard. Marlowe found it shocking to see how sensitive and gentle these two Amazons really were, and didn't know which was worse: Hanna's sudden romantic side, or Oulan's lovestruck feelings. It was true that they were both very strong and powerful women, and occasionally butch, but…… this was just plain weird!

Sensing Oulan's fawning, Hanna quickly reached forward and yanked poor Marlowe into a powerful embrace.

"Fat chance!" she spat. "I saw him first!" Oulan immediately snapped out of her dazed state when she heard that, and the wicked growl of a mother wolf returned to her as she yanked on Marlowe's other arm.

"He's mine now!" she screamed.

"Urrrhhh!! You have Shu!" spat Hanna.

"Well you… have Jude!" retorted Oulan. Marlowe literally screamed as he felt the powerful women tear him apart, and for the third time in the same day, he thought he would lose his arms.

"Ahhh, stop it!!!" he shouted. "You're gonna tear my arms off!!!!!" He screamed again, but the two warriors were not about to give up their prize so easily. Suddenly, to make bad matters worse, Nanami came bouncing into the room with a bouquet of flowers in her hand.

"Marlowe, where are you??" she sang. Both warriors took a brief glance away from their argument to see who was calling out, and let the poor man drop to the floor as they each balled up a fist. Nanami suddenly skidded to a halt as she saw Oulan and Hanna glare at her, and sensing that the three of them were after the exact same young man, she hastily hid the bouquet behind her back.

"Ahhh, hehe, hi!" she managed, trying her best to look sweet and innocent (poor Marlowe had been tossed to the floor, and was currently groaning in pain as his poor arms tried to heal). "…Uhhh… what's up?"

"Nanami," snarled Oulan sweetly, "just what do you plan on doing with those flowers?"

"Flowers?" blurted the chipper girl nervously. "Uhh, what flowers?"

"The ones you have behind your back," pointed Hanna darkly. Nanami grinned weakly, and tried to laugh her way out of yet another predicament.

"Oh, hahahahahahaha!! What, those? They're, umm, ahhhh…" She froze, unable to come up with a solution, and suddenly dashed past their guard. She knelt down to give Marlowe a tight hug, nearly turning the poor man's face blue in the process.

"Nooooo, he's mine!!!!" whined Nanami. Hanna and Oulan growled, and each one tried to pry one of the girl's arms away. While Marlowe remained unconscious, even more of his would-be suitors arrived in the kitchen, each of them bearing gifts. One was Tomo, wielding a book she knew Marlowe would like, and the other was Wakaba, who had purchased some lifting weights. The girls might have had different views on the scholar's tastes, but they both claimed a piece of his heart.

"Lord Marlowe!" shouted Tomo. "It's me, Tomo! I have a present for you!"

"Hey, Marley!" shouted Wakaba. "C'mere! I got a really nice gift for you!" The two girls, who had grown quite close since meeting, smiled and nodded at each other. They had agreed to share the scholar between themselves; poor Marlowe knew nothing about their scheme. Both Tomo and Wakaba skipped over to the still-recovering young man, and soon everybody began shouting at him at once.

"MINE, MINE!!!" screamed Nanami.

"Get away!" barked Oulan.

"He's mine!" shouted Hanna.

"Lord Marlowe, wake up!" begged Tomo.

"Kiyah! Let's have some fun!" insisted Wakaba. Being dragged around by five maniacal women all at once was a horrifying experience, and the poor guy could do nothing but wail as he felt himself being quartered. Suddenly, a familiar zapping sound could be heard, and from out of nowhere came Viki, the adorable but air-headed young blink mage.

"Huh, what?" she blurted. "Where am I? Wasn't there a squirrel around here somewhere?" Marlowe, suddenly waking up and seeing his window of opportunity, shouted out for Viki to help him--which meant that he must have been extremely desperate.

"Viki, help me!" he shouted. "I'll do anything!!!!" Viki, always one to help other people, nodded her head and successfully teleported both herself and Marlowe away from the maniacal women. With the object of their affections now gone, all five women collapsed in a painful yet hilarious pile, and spent most of the day quarreling or patching up wounds.

Viki and Marlowe appeared back in the Grand Hall, right next to the blinking mirror. She smiled in success, and even gave Marlowe a hug.

"I did it!" she squealed. "I finally pulled off a perfect teleportation!"

"…That's great!" said the scholar, trying to sound as supportive as he could. He returned the hug, but released it when he heard Viki giggling. "What?" he asked. "What is it?"

"You said that you'd do anything for me, right?" she pointed. Marlowe's happy face grew dark suddenly, and he sighed as he sunk his head.

"Yes…"

"Awesome!" smiled the girl. "I want you to go out on a date with me!"

"(Just great…)" grumbled the boy weakly. Even if he wanted the girls to chase him day and night, going out on a date with Viki was one of the very last things that any sane man should have done. It wasn't like she was mean or abusive or even unattractive--quite the opposite, actually. Her eccentricity, however, outshined everyone else's in the entire castle, and although she was the sweetest thing on two legs, she had the attention span of a two year-old.

"…Okay," said Marlowe with a defeated smile. "I guess I can go on a date with you…"

"Awesome!" exclaimed Viki. "When should we have it?"

"I dunno, I'm kinda busy," he said. "How about, uuhh, next month?"

"Sure!" squealed Viki, obviously unaware of his ploy. Marlowe knew that, within the span of a month, Viki would have long ago forgotten about the date (he could have set it for the next day and she would have forgotten, but better to be safe than sorry). Besides, Shu explained that the war could be drawing to a close by the next month, which meant that in any case, their engagement would be null and void.

"Right, well, I'll be looking forward to it," said Marlowe. No answer. He blinked his eyes in confusion, and gazed at Viki. Her eyes were glassy, and her mouth was hanging open a little. Marlowe sighed as he realized that she was in her own little world again, and shook her gently.

"Huh? Huh? What? What's going on?" blurted the mage. Marlowe smiled and told her where she was, and she put her hand to her mouth. "Oh, wow!" she gasped. "I don't remember coming here! What happened?"

"You must have done a perfect teleportation!" explained the scholar happily. He was now in the clear; Viki's brain had been away in another world, and now she couldn't even remember how she got there, let alone the date. Marlowe stayed behind just long enough to make sure she was okay--after all, he was a caring and compassionate young man--and left his "friend" behind to follow other pursuits.

Talking with Emilia always soothed Marlowe's mind. She was very much like him: quiet, thoughtful, reliable, and very intelligent. And she wasn't infatuated with him!! …at least, he didn't think she was…

"…and I have no idea why they're after me! I guess I'm kinda cute, and I'm nice and all, and yeah I'm smart, but gosh…! I don't know why every girl out there wants to chase after me! It's like the entire world is in love with me, and I don't like it one bit! I know I should consider myself a lucky guy, but come on! I don't want all these girls chasing after me!"

"Hmm…" murmured Emilia to herself. "I guess it is kind of terrible, but don't worry, okay? I'm sure that amidst the sea of girls that chase you around so much, you'll find one that's just right for you!" She smiled prettily, and he returned it.

"Thanks, Miss Emilia," he sighed. "…I guess you're right. Although I'm sure that the girl I'm looking for isn't going to chase me around!"

"Hmm…" Emilia sighed, and blushed just slightly as she continued to stare at Marlowe. He gazed back at her, looked straight into her dreamy eyes… and yelped.

"D'gaaaahh!!!" he yelled. "Miss Emilia!!! Not you too!!" Emilia suddenly snapped to attention, blushed even more, and covered her face with her hands.

"Oh! I'm sorry! I'm… so… sorry! It's just that… just that……… I get so lonely sometimes, and I've been wanting the company of a nice young gentleman for so long! I'm still a little young, but I'm pushing thirty. I'm not getting any younger, and… and… I… so desperately crave for the attention of another…" Marlowe slowly sighed, and apologized for his insensitive actions. He may have not wanted the girls that populated Stupid Castle to be so outgoing and flirtatious, but he also didn't consider the fact that there might be one out there that really liked him.

"…Miss Emilia… I'm sorry…"

"No, it's all right," sighed the librarian, shaking her head slowly. "It's okay. I shouldn't be doing that. You're too young for me, no offense. I… guess I'm just lonely, that's all…"

"Well, I can keep ya company!" came an all-too familiar voice out of nowhere. Both Marlowe and Emilia craned their heads to see who it was, and groaned as Richmond emerged from the darkness. He grinned, his cigarette clenched between his teeth, and flipped a coin perfectly. This private eye was the very last person that Marlowe wanted to see--but not Emilia.

"I'm desperate enough to accept," sighed the librarian. The scruffy detective grinned again, but his focus was elsewhere. He instantly whipped out an infamous set of paper and pencil, and stared hard at Marlowe.

"Okay, scholar-boy!" he stated. "You know the drill! What's your sign? What's your favorite color? What kind of girl do you like!"

"Aaaaccckkk, stay away from me, Richmond!!!" roared Marlowe. Richmond paid him no heed. The detective was even worse than the other girls; at least they slept from time to time. Richmond had been tailing him for days on end, sometimes even at night, and would constantly interrogate him for any new tidbits.

"Not a chance, skinny!" grinned the P.I. "I'm gettin' paid by a whole lot of pretty girls, and I wanna give them their money's worth! So tell me, what kinda food do you like! Do you play any games? What's your favorite book? When were you born? Why--" Suddenly, Richmond burped out in surprise, and began wriggling madly as Emilia dove in to save Marlowe. She held the investigator in a pincer lock, and despite her lack of strength, she held him just long enough for the boy to escape.

"Go, Marlowe!" shouted the woman. "Leave now!"

"Hey, lemme go! L'eggo'a me! L'eggo!" Marlowe grinned with relief, and promised to pay Emilia back someday for her kindness as he retreated from his worst adversary.

After narrowly escaping the clutches of the nosy Richmond, Marlowe thought that he was finally out of the woods for the day. After barely avoiding an encounter with Sierra, he snuck into the main castle and stealthily darted around until he was back in his room. He had somehow avoided detection up to this point; now he could actually rest!

…In theory. Waiting for him in his room was another girl, but for perhaps the first time since he was around Eilie, the young scholar did not burst out in screams. The girl sitting on his bed was the petite, shy, quiet, and delicate flower known as Annallee, and she smiled faintly as she saw Marlowe come in.

"Hello," she greeted politely, and the young man issued out a breath of relief. Here, there was no danger of being smothered by over affectionate women.

"Oh, uh, hi Annallee!" he greeted. She gave him her usual shy smile, and quietly asked him to sit next to her. Having nothing to fear, Marlowe joined her and asked what she wanted.

"…Well," she began slowly, "I was just noticing how terrible you've been treated in these past few days."

"Oh?"

"Yes," she said. "It really is sad to see so many women chase after you like a bunch of slobbering dogs. You'd think that some of them would have a little more self-control!" He chuckled softly and agreed.

"Yeah… I don't know what their problem is, or why they're attracted to me! I mean, there are a whole lot of other young men in this castle, who are much more talented and attractive than I am. But me? I'm just a bookworm."

"Hm," hummed the vocalist softly. "…I guess I'm the same way. I'm just a quiet little girl who really can't do anything except sing."

"I'm sure you can do a whole lot of other stuff!" insisted Marlowe. Annallee blinked shyly.

"…R… really? Y, you mean it?"

"Yeah! I know it!" She smiled lightly, and scooted in a little closer.

"You know," she said bashfully, "I think I know why those girls were after you."

"Hm? Why's that?" She smiled.

"Because you're really nice, and you respect everybody, and you have such a kind heart…" Marlowe smiled weakly, and scratched the back of his head in embarrassment.

"Aw… geez," he muttered. He smiled at Annallee, the gentle, soft, and sweet young lady, and thought back to what Emilia had said. I'm sure that amidst the sea of girls that chase you around so much, you'll find one that's just right for you. Marlowe smiled again, gazing into Annallee's soft brown eyes, and knew right then that this shy girl might have very well been what he was looking for.

"………Uhhh, Annallee?"

"Yes?"

"……Uhhh…… Would you like to…… uhhh…… Ummm… maybe go out for lunch sometime?" Marlowe's face was flushed, but Annallee's turned red even faster as she heard the supposed "most desirable young man" in all of Stupid Castle ask her out on a date. She smiled, her face beaming with quiet awe, and silently accepted.

"Yes!" she whispered. "That would be lovely!" She leaned forward to give him a gentle hug, smiling as bright as the sun, and thanked the shy young man.

But inwardly, the quiet young lady cackled wickedly, snarling with vicious victory as her arms held him. Her grin became malicious, and there was no doubt that she would flaunt her new catch around like a prize trophy. Out of all the women in this castle, she thought mentally, it is I who have you now, my dear boy! Heheheheheheheh!!

The End