Disclaimer: Tite Kubo owns Bleach and I am just messing with his characters haha!
A/N: Stupid idea came to my mind so... Hope you like it! :D
Texts Messages
Byakuya noticed Rukia had been acting strange lately. She visited the World of Living more often, she smiled whenever her phone beeped, and she was on the phone with someone every single night (and that could last for hours), not that Byakuya overheard or anything. She was... happier in some way. Byakuya was curious. Not that he wanted to mind his sister's business, but he had the right to be curious.
So, when the said taichou found her phone lying on the table unguarded ...
Curiosity killed the cat, right?
From: Nii-sama
Rukia, come home.
From: Ichigo
When are you going to be back? The room seems lonely.
From: Ichigo
Funny. Seriously, when?
From: Ichigo
Yuzu, Karin, the gang and old man miss you. I don't.
From: Ichigo
Rukia, why don't you pick up your phone?
From: Ichigo
I will call you after dinner then. Ten?
From: Ichigo
I overslept. Sorry?
From: Ichigo
Can I call you now?
From: Ichigo
God, why are you not allowed to answer calls when your brother is around? And he is always around FFS.
From: Renji
Rukia, your brother said the funniest remark about Ichigo this morning.
From: Renji
Geez, I know my job is to make taichou like Ichigo. Mission impossible you know. You sure don't want to hear this one? Ok then...
From: Ichigo
Your stupid friend Renji just told your jerk brother that I said your jerk brother is the brother I never had.
The hell?!
From: Renji
Hahaha Ichigo told you?
I know, Rukia! Hilarious, right? Ichigo doesn't think so. Your brother seemed disgusted when I told him that. He wanted to vomit.
From: Ichigo
Oi, come home. Your awesome boyfriend wants to see you.
From: Nii-sama
Rukia, you have three days in the living world. Be safe. (I am not only talking about hollows, but also Kurosaki Ichigo).
K. Byakuya.
From: Nii-sama
Rukia, you have one day left. Chef Ouzai will cook carbonara on Friday, your favorite.
K. Byakuya.
From: Renji
I tried. Taichou won't give you an extra day in the living world. Spending too much time with Kurosaki Ichigo will get her influenced, so he said.
Eh. Can I go there? Want to kick Ichigo's ass. I've got so much pain helping him to impress Kuchiki-taichou. Today, he nearly slashed my mouth with Senbonzakura to shut me up.
From: Ichigo
Screw Chef Ozi or Ozu. I can cook you carbonara.
From: Nii-sama
Kurosaki Ichigo can't cook you carbonara.
K. Byakuya.
From: Ichigo
My hospital shift ends at 6. Wait until I come back home. Don't leave yet.
From: Ichigo
Please, don't leave yet.
Happy?
From: Ichigo
I love you, baka. Take care.
From: Ichigo
I can be sweet.
Rukia, I love you with cherries on top.
From: Renji
Good news. I told your brother that everyone in Soul Society, except him, thinks Ichigo is a gentleman.
He didn't reply but at least he didn't kidou me.
From: Renji
I will kill your goddamn Ichigo. For the love of God, I swear...
From: Renji
He asked me to read these lines!
"Kurosaki Ichigo is a strong shinigami who achieved bankai in three days. Sorry what? Three days. Three days and he is not a noble. Three days."
"Kurosaki Ichigo defeated 3rd Seat of the 11th Division in the Gotei 13. He also defeated the lieutenant of the 6th Division in the Gotei 13 (Damn this kid!), Kurosaki Ichigo then fired a unnamed Getsuga Tensho at Renji breaking the lieutenants Zanpakuto and critically injuring him, much to his surprise. Then the said fukutaichou cried." (Again, fuck off Ichigo.)
Kurosaki Ichigo also defeated the blood-thirsty the current captain of the 11th Division in the Gotei 13. Let's not forget it. He also defeated someone particular. Not just any taichou, but Kuchiki Byakuya-taichou. Intense match. The better won anyway. He cares for his friends. And he is a good brother. He is too good that the mighty Kuchiki Byakuya learned how to be a perfect brother from him." I didn't even have to get to finish reading that goddamn paper. I was nearly cut in half!
If I didn't dodge, I would be DEAD.
From: Ichigo
I wish I could see Byakuya's face when Renji read those lines. Priceless.
I came up with the idea. Chad wrote the lines. He has good handwriting.
From: Nii-sama
Rukia, there's a captain meeting tonight. Don't wait for me. You can eat dinner by yourself.
K. Byakuya.
From: Renji
"Taichou, Ichigo is a very kind human being. He helps the elderly cross the street."
Ichigo's idea. Haha.
Taichou only raised his eyebrow. Good sign.
From: Ichigo
It's been three weeks. There's something important I want to ask you.
From: Ichigo
I won't do it on the phone, Rukia. Why don't you come home? It is lonely here, only me and the kitten.
From: Ichigo
The kitten's doing great. She doesn't like you that much. Me? Not so much.
From: Ichigo
Can I go to Soul Society?
From: Ichigo
-Forwarded message-
To: Byakuya
From: Me
Yo, Byakuya, it's Ichigo (just in case you lost my number). Sorry to bother you but I want to visit Soul Society. Can I stay at your place? You can lock my room so I can't sneak to Rukia's just like last time if you want.-
Am I good or what?
From: Ichigo
-Forwarded message-
To: Me
From: Byakuya
Kurosaki Ichigo, you can go sleep under the bridge. I do not care.
And I didn't lose your number. I blocked you.
K. Byakuya.
From: Ichigo
He is hopeless.
From: Ukitake-taichou
Dear Kuchiki, Sentaoro, Kiyone, thank you so much for the birthday surprise. I am beyond happy. Have dinner with me tomorrow night.
Ukitake.
From: Ichigo
Rukia, I hate Renji. He told Byakuya he was my role model.
MY role model.
I am going nuts.
From: Renji
I was on the phone with Ichigo. Guess what! He is going to... Ah damnit I can't tell you!
From: Renji
How is my job doing? It is static.
Every day I bring up Ichigo in my conversation with Taichou. I compliment him every single day. I am afraid Taichou will get the wrong idea...
From: Renji
I once said any girl would be lucky to have Ichigo. (I ran out of ideas! Rangiku-san once said this so that was the only thing left that I had in mind!)
I swore he looked at me like I was the most disgusting being in the society.
How bad is that, Rukia?
From: Renji
I never had anyone questioning my masculinity before.
From: Ichigo
Renji freakin' told Byakuya I am eager to call him Nii-sama.
Can I kill him now?
From: Nii-sama
Rukia, tell Kurosaki Ichigo to call me. I need to tell him your curfew.
K. Byakuya.
From: Renji
Rukiaaa, call me I need details. Did the bastard kneel down on one knee? Did the bastard say cheesy lines?
Congratulations, my friend!
From: Renji
-Forwarded message-
To: Ichigo
From: Me
Oi, Ichigo! Answer my phone. Congratulations, dumbass. If you hurt Rukia, I will kill you. -
Rukia, if you hurt him, I will buy you chappy.
P/S: Now that you two are engaged and Kuchiki-Taichou still wants to kill Ichigo, this means double work for me. Am I not a good friend?
From: Inoue
I hear wedding bells!
Oh my God, Kuchiki-san! Congratulations! (Sado-kun told me this!) I am so happy for you two! :-)
As soon as I put my daughter to bed, I will call you okay!
From: Nii-sama
Rukia, your favorite servant, Magda, resigns.
P/S: Chef Ouzai will cook rice dumplings on Thursday. Your favorite. Be home by then.
K. Byakuya.
From: Ishida
Congratulations, Kuchiki-san. I am so happy for you two.
P/S: I chose the ring. Kurosaki knows nothing about women. And I also can help you with the wedding dress. How did the proposal go? He spent an entire day practicing. I spent almost an entire day listening to him propose to Sado-kun. Sado-kun spent an entire day helping Kurosaki practice. Worth it?
From: Isshin
HELLO, MY (soon-to-be OFFICIAL) DAUGHTER (in-law)!
Byakuya couldn't believe what he read.
Kurosaki Ichigo proposed to Rukia.
Kurosaki Ichigo, the damn ryoka, proposed to Rukia, his dear sister.
Byakuya froze. He never thought he could be this angry.
Damn Kurosaki Ichigo.
He grabbed his phone and sent someone a text.
Ichigo's phone beeped.
One unread message.
From: Byakuya
You. Me. Soukyoku Hill. Now, you bastard.
K. Byakuya.
A/N: Thoughts? Review please and constructive criticisms are welcomed! Cheers :D (Note: I REFUSE to believe Byakuya is dead. NO WAY.)