Author's Note: I've always wondered if Cammie was Zach's first girlfriend. So I wrote a fic about it. :)

Past Loves

By: 4everandalwaysme

"One…two…three!"

CLICK.

Zach took the camera from her hands and grinned when he saw it.

"It's perfect, Lorrain," he said, leaning in to hug her.

And it was. Zach was perfect. The only thing that wasn't perfect was the fact that she would have to leave soon.

She would have told him if she knew how this day would turn out. She would have told him before they got too happy. But Lorrain was sworn to secrecy by the CIA.

So she took a breath and turned to him, her eyes already tearing up. "Zach…"

His smile faded immediately and he looked at her with concern-filled eyes. Concern and innocence. That's something that drew her to him in the first place.

But would that even mean anything with the lies she was just about to tell him? Would she even mean anything anymore?

The answer was simple. No. She wouldn't.

She couldn't leave him to miss her when he never knew the one side of her that was tearing them apart. So she pecked his cheek and felt his arms wrap around her.

He never questioned her motives, and that was why she knew he wouldn't get mad until he knew.

"Goodbye," she whispered. He jerked away, shock covering his features.

"What did you just say?"

Lorrain let her head hang. "I…I'm leaving."

"Oh." He sighed in relief. "I thought you meant that we wouldn't see each other again. Don't scare me like that, okay?"

The words got caught in her throat, but she forced them out, almost choking on tears. "I did mean it."

"You can't leave!" he exclaimed. "I- I love you!"

She shook her head, trying not to break down in front of him. Trying not to break down at all. "I'm sorry."

Then, she walked away without so much as an explanation. It was cruel and heart-breaking, but it was better for him. Easier for him to move on without her binding him to his words.

And in the midst of all that, she found herself whispering words that belonged to him and him alone. "I love you."

Lorrain watched from the corner of her eye as Zach gripped a girl's hand. She was pretty. Not as exotic and attention-drawing as her three friends, but pretty nonetheless. He looked good. Muscled, tall, and amazing green eyes. They fit well together.

She had dirty-blonde hair, while his was dark. Her eyes were pale while his were bright. She was the Chameleon, he was Zach Goode.

Both pavement artists.

Both with shady pasts.

His eyes were bright as he smiled down at her. For the first time since Lorrain left, he was happy. He was smiling genuinely. He was a normal teenage boy.

But that wasn't true. He'd been happy when Joe assigned him to tail Cammie through the mall over two years ago. He was happy when he got his kiss from her. It was like she erased all the pain that Lorrain put him through, and she was grateful for that. He deserved someone like her.

When he laughed, she wanted to go back in time and grab her camera. To count—one…two…three—and take a picture of him like this. But she knew it was no use wishing. Spies shouldn't want things.

But spies also shouldn't love, so she was sort of a rebel when it came to the rules.

"Alright. Move in," she heard from the comms unit in her ear.

Lorrain told herself over and over in her head that spies—especially when in the Circle of Cavan—should never feel. It isn't good enough that they hide their emotions. They have to block them. Erase them from their vocabulary, and soon enough, from their hearts.

I guess that's another rule Lorrain broke.

As she got closer and closer to the target, she couldn't help but feel a little scared. What if her plan didn't work out?

She planted the fake bomb in Macey McHenry's purse, aware that Zach was the only one who saw. He stood up as soon as she did, and followed, bringing his friends along.

Lorrain's pace quickened and she turned the corner, trying to think. What do you do when you get caught by several trained operatives at once? Simple. You run.

She was tackled to the ground by Bex, the most coordinated of the group, who struggled. She didn't mean to call for help. She really didn't. But the struggle was heard over the comms unit and she had backup coming after her.

While the girls took care of the rest of the men, Lorrain snuck away. They could handle the people from the Circle. They weren't better, but they learned at an early age to trust their instincts. And her instincts told her to make a break for it.

Zach was hot on her heels as she dashed around corners and sped up staircases. But when they got to a dead end, she knew she couldn't get out. So she stopped.

His body was too strong—too heavy—and he came barreling into her, sending the girl straight into the wall. She hit her head and dizziness took over for a second or two until she was back on her feet.

Zach had a gun.

Lorrain was against the wall.

And his hand was pointed at her.

"Who sent you?" he hissed angrily.

She coughed. "I- I can't tell you."

He pressed the gun against her chin, facing upwards so that the bullet would kill her instantly. "Tell me who sent you. Was it the Circle?"

She nodded, but just barely. "Th-they want Cammie."

His eyes widened and the cool metal surface of the gun pressed into her skin. "Why are you admitting this?"

She shrugged. "I'm gonna die anyways, right?"

He shook his head. "You came after my Gallagher Girl. I want you to die a slow, painful death."

His voice was dark and deadly and extremely void of a lie. When he pointed the gun to her abdomen, she winced and looked up at him. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" he repeated. "Sorry?! You're telling me that you came after my girlfriend, tried to kill us, and that your sorry?"

His girlfriend. The way he said it was possessive, like he would do anything to keep her by him. And she had no doubt in her mind that he would. It was obvious he would never let another one slip through his fingers.

She smiled wryly. "That's not what I'm sorry for."

"Then for w-" His breath caught in his throat as he stared at her. "It's…It's you…"

She nodded and watched his defenses come back up. He looked at her with an emotionless face and she wanted nothing more than to cower away in the dark. "Don't do that."

"Don't do what?" he snapped.

Her voice was soft and weak, and she hated it with every fiber in her body. "Stop pushing people away. Stop hiding your feelings. You used to be different."

"Yeah, well, it isn't my fault I've changed so much." Venom seeped through his words and it sent a pang to her chest.

It was true, though. It was Lorrain's fault he was like this. The faint pounding of footsteps on the tile came and she looked up to Zach. "Kill me."

"What?" He looked taken aback with wide eyes and an open mouth.

"Kill me," She pleaded, positioning the gun at its previous place. Tears were rolling down her cheeks as she begged him.

"Please…"

He shook his head. "No. I'm not going to-"

"Just do it! Either you kill me here, or they kill me later. Please, just…"

Zach nodded his head. But she stopped him before he could pull the trigger. "Wait. Just promise me something."

"What?"

"Protect her," Lorrain told him. "Don't let her go."

He nodded again and closed his eyes for a second before reopening them. "I will."

With a tiny smile, she started counting. "Five…"

"Four," he continued. Lorrain looked into his eyes and for the first time, he let her see all of his emotions. All the grief and pain she put him through. All the anger. And last of all, love. But she knew his love was for Cammie and he just wanted to get back to her. So she kept counting.

"Three."

A tear rolled down his cheek. She leaned forward and brushed her lips against his cheek, feeling the familiar tingles, and wiped the tear away.

The footsteps were louder then. Coming closer and closer.

"Two."

He moved the gun from her jaw to her heart.

Her next word was a ghost. Barely there, barely real. It was quieter than a whisper, like the sound from a distance. But they both heard it.

"One."

And the sound of the gunshot echoed throughout the hall.

Author's Note: The idea of this came to me last night. I was sleeping, and I woke up suddenly with the idea branded into my brain! Haha. The reviews for "Captivated" really helped.

Review?

Forever and Always,
Me