Title: I'm Not Getting Involved

Author: SusanaR

Disclaimer: Everything recognizable belongs to Tolkien.

Summary: Teenaged elfling Melpomaen loves his best friends Elrohir and Elladan, but sometimes, he just doesn't want to get involved in whatever trouble they've thought up.

Series: Desperate Hours AU: Tales of the Elves of Imladris

A/N: This story takes place in the same Desperate Hours AU as all of my other LOTR stories, wherein it will later be discovered that Faramir is Aragorn's son.

A/N 2: Set in about year 168 of the Third Age, in Imladris. Some aspects of Melpomaen's characterization are borrowed from Holly's stories (with her kind permission) for use in the DH AU, with my sincere thanks, although I have him as only a few years older than the twins, and they are all still teenaged elflings in this one-shot.

More specifically (for those who are interested), Tolkien wrote that Elladan and Elrohir were born in T.A. 130. So, in about T.A. 168, they are about 38 years old, or the equivalent of 15 years old for elves (probably slightly older, since Elrond is part-human and his parents were only in their mid-twenties when they got married, indicating that they matured more like humans than elves). Melpomaen is about a decade older than the twins. So, in about T.A. 168, he would be about 48 years old, the equivalent of about 19 years old for an elf.

Title: I'm not getting involved

"I am not getting involved." Melpomaen said to himself very firmly, as he focused on the text in front of him. It helped that he found what he was reading- the history of Eregion- fascinating, but then Mel found just about everything fascinating. Except weapons training, and chemistry, so he was DEFINITELY not getting involved. Whatever it was they were plotting.

But the whispering behind him just got louder. Melpomaen wondered which twin would approach him this time...he was still a little annoyed at Elladan for the exploding ink pot last week, and at Elrohir for over-enthusiastically knocking him into a snow drift this morning with a quarter staff. Mel's footwork hadn't been that bad, and now he had bruises on both of his ankles.

The whispering stopped. Mel studiously kept turning pages at 23 second intervals, even though he was no longer reading. He was not getting involved.

Instead of a cajoling twin, what appeared in front of Mel next was an annoyed Balrog slayer. "Have you seen the twins?"

Mel carefully kept the expression on his face pleasant, even as he thought to himself, 'Contrary to popular belief, I am not their keeper.' But all he said was, "No, my Lord. Have you lost them?"

Glorfindel looked at Mel suspiciously. Erestor's adopted son did not, as a general rule, get into trouble, or help the twins with trouble, but Mel was always about, and the twins had gained a new level of ...subtlety, which had not previously characterized their hi-jinks. It was a new and unwelcome development which, come to think of it, dated from approximately the time that Melpomaen had joined Elrond's household several years ago. That, and Mel had been involved in what Glorfindel privately called the disaster of Bree, though King Eldacar had called it a defining moment in elven-human accomplishment. Then he'd knighted everyone involved, including the twins.

Glorfindel gave Melpomaen the glare that usually reduced his thousand year old lieutenants to quivering elflings, eager to confess to anything. But Mel did not look guilty, if anything, he seemed politely confused. And Mel was not GENERALLY a particularly good liar. In fact, he was a notoriously bad one. Except when he wasn't. Glorfindel gave up glaring, and sighed instead.

Mel began to look at the Captain of Imaldris' Guard in concern. "Lord Glorfindel, are you alright?" He asked gently. "Did you drink or eat something the twins gave you, or anything that you left out of your sight for a moment or more? If so, perhaps we should go see the healers..."

Glorfindel shook his head. He was just being fanciful. The rapidly melting life sized ice sculpture of Asfaloth in his quarters could very easily have been the work of any of three young soldier-trainees, just as likely as the twins. More, the whole incident was beginning to seem a bit, well, humorous, to Glorfindel. Almost funny enough to be worthy of singing about. And Melpomaen certainly didn't seem to know anything. Just because the polite young ellon had been drawn into a couple of the twins' schemes, was no reason to doubt his honesty. After all, GLORFINDEL had been drawn into the disaster of Bree. He could hardly blame Melpomaen for that. So Glorfindel patted the young elf's shoulder, and said pleasantly, "No, Melpomaen, but thank you. If you see Elladan or Elrohir, ask them to come find me, please." Then Glorfindel took his leave, humming as he walked off, and even thinking about dancing.

"I will." Mel agreed with a slight, uncertain smile, making a mental note to look up a book on the dangers of experimenting on unsuspecting elven subjects with tasteless mildly hallucinogenic substances, which he would then leave on Elladan's favorite reading chair. The younger twin's experiments were really getting ridiculous. Mel then turned back to his book, becoming engaged in writing a list of all of the factors that Sauron had exploited in establishing a new identity to deceive the elves of Eregion. Maybe Elrohir would be willing to read this book, if Mel could frame it as a lesson in how their enemy had infiltrated an elven city? It might be worth a try...it would be nice to have someone his own age to discuss this research with. Someone for whom the fall of Eregion had not been a personal tragedy. Mel knew Erestor would gladly tell him just about anything, but he hated to ask questions that he knew brought up painful memories for most of the elves in Imladris.

The afternoon passed pleasantly for the studious adolescent ellon, until the sound of loud singing interrupted his concentration, about an hour before dinner.

After a few minutes of the singing, followed by crashing and more singing, the twins entered the library, grinning from ear to ear.

'I'm not even asking.' Mel reminded himself. 'I'm not getting involved.'

"Thanks Mel!" Elladan whispered cheerfully. "You were perfect."

"What?" Melpomaen replied, shocked.

"We were going to ask you if you wanted to help, but you were even better not knowing what was going on!" Elrohir explained, sotto voice. "You convinced Glorfindel that WE weren't involved, and now, well, do you really want to know?"

Mel stifled a groan. Well-brought up elves did not groan. Not at daily occurences such as this. "I give up." He told the twins, who both somehow managed to smile wider. "Even when I'm not involved, I'm involved. What did "we" do?"

Elladan patted his arm consolingly. "You remember those three young soldier-trainees who made fun of you last week?"

Mel felt a shiver of dread. "Yes, but I told you, it was nothing. They're right; I'm not much of a warrior."

The twins frowned at him.

"You just lack confidence." Elrohir disagreed. "Anyway, those three trainees stayed up very late last night drinking, so they slept in this morning. They blackmailed 'Dan and I into doing their morning chores."

"What did you do that they could blackmail you for it?" Mel asked. With the twins, it was important to note the details.

"Long story, not really relevant. All's fair in pranks during wintertime, we're not holding a grudge." Elrohir declaimed. "But we don't think they should pick on you scholar-types. So, we asked that sculptor fellow who you and 'Dan helped with the composition of his clay for an appropriate wave-shape for the sculpture of Earendil in the salt-water fountain,"

"If he could sculpt a horse out of ice, and he said of course he could, he'd be happy to help you get back at those particular guards," Elladan explained. "We tried it out last week, and it worked great, although we were all a bit giggly for the rest of that afternoon."

Remembering that afternoon, Melpomaen winced. "So you mixed that hallucinogenic stuff you've been working on into an ice scuplture of a horse and left it somewhere to melt? 'Dan, I'm really not sure if that's a good idea. Are you SURE that stuff doesn't have any after effects?"

"Mild euphoria, a slight floaty feeling, and a bit of a headache the next morning." Elrohir denied. "Nothing major, not in 20 different control subjects, including us. And 'Dan reduced the dosage this time, just in case."

Mel sighed. "I appreciate the sentiment, but I can deal with my own problems. And we're ALL going to have to deal with Glorfindel. There's no way he's not going to figure out you two were involved, and me too, since you framed those particular guards."

The twins looked at him seriously. "Mel," Elladan began, "As soon as you start standing up for yourself,"

"Verbally, physically, however," Elrohir elaborated,

"we'll stop playing pranks on elves who pick on you," Elladan continued,

"so really, its up to you." Elrohir finished.

Mel sighed again. When the twins, Erestor, and Glorfindel all told him the same thing in different ways, it might be time to reevaluate his coping mechanisms. "I'll think about it. You two think about how to apologize for the ice-horse of song and giggles."

The twins laughed. "No need, Mel." Elladan assured him. "The ice-horse will cause a certain smell as it melts, the same smell as that of the distinctive fruity alcohol those three guards were drinking last night."

Elrohir grinned. "And since Elladan and I have no MOTIVE to get back against the three guards who kindly invited us to join them in their carousing, and Glorfindel is now convinced that you, who DID have a motive, were not involved,"

"We're all off the hook." Elladan finished with the angelic smile that had sent shivers up Mel's spine ever since Bree.

"I see." Melpomaen concluded weakly, not looking forward to dinner that evening. He really was not a good liar.

"Don't worry, we're picnicking in our quarters tonight." Elrohir assured him.

"Or we will be, once Ada convinces Glorfy to stop singing." Elladan expanded, before asking, "Hey, what are you reading?"

"Eregion?" Elrohir asked, looking at the title. "Does it have anybody we know in it?"

"Umm, yes. Our sculptor friend, among others. And of course your father, Erestor, Glorfindel, and your grandfather, as beleaguered heroes, starting near the middle, and your mother and grandmother, coming to find your grandfather, at the end."

A flustered Chief Adviser entered the library half an hour later, to find his adopted son and his other pupils with their dark heads bent studiously around a book, comparing notes.

"I don't get it. If Annatar was telling one thing to the sculptors who made the casts, and another to the miners who found the gold and jewels, why didn't they just compare notes and realize he was a lying bast...oh, hi, Erestor." Elrohir finished lamely.

"History can be very exciting, Elrohir, but remember your manners." Erestor scolded mildly. He had more important things to worry about tonight then the twins' tendency to curse when they were interested in something. At least they were learning. "Would you three mind taking dinner informally in your rooms tonight?" Erestor asked, with a special smile for Mel, who seemed a bit shell-shocked. A whole afternoon with Elladan and Elrohir in "tired-of-being-cooped-up-inside-because-its-winter" mode could do that to anyone.

Elladan frowned. "I suppose not, why, what's going on?"

"Three of Glorfindel's trainees apparently got extremely soused last night and, well, its a long story. Chalk it up to the dangers of excessive drinking, I suppose." Erestor explained wearily. "I need to get back to helping Elrond with Glorfindel. You three stay out of trouble."

"Why do people always say that to us?" Elrohir asked, with only an appropriate level of disgust. Mel smiled weakly. Elladan turned back to his notes. Erestor gave them another hassled smile and a wave farewell.

A few hours later, Melpomaen sat in the window seat of the twins' room, looking out at the falling snow. Elladan and Elrohir sat on their floor, playing chess. Not to win; to predict the other twin's move with perfect accuracy. Mel had the list of their guesses.

A knock drew their attention to the door, and the twins' mother Celebrian entered, and closed the door behind her. "Elladan. This set of experiments moves to the chemistry labs and to knowing volunteer test subjects, or it stops immediately. Elrohir, if I find out you've somehow bribed your twin to make you alcohol again, I'll make you drink all of his first batch by yourself. Melpomaen, if those idiots harass you again, either tell someone who will do something about it, or get involved in whatever my sons are planning early enough to keep the innocent - such as myself, Elrond, and Erestor- out of it."

The three elven teenagers' mouths dropped open in shock.

Celebrian smiled at them, for a moment resembling her sons, before continuing, "Right now I'm amused. The three of you are lucky that I happen to agree Glorfindel should have done something about those particular idiots before they had a chance to insult two of my most timid ladies into completely losing their confidence on the archery field. But if this happens again, I will NOT be amused."

"Yes, Nana." Elladan murmured, admiration in his eyes.

"Yes, Bri." Melpomaen agreed, glad that one of the most sensible of Imladris' adults had noticed what was going on.

"Nana, we're not even sure that Glorfy noticed those three idiots." Elrohir defended the Captain.

Apparently, it was Elrohir's turn to be the twin who couldn't leave well enough alone, Mel noted absently.

"He's the arms-master, 'Roh." Celebrian disagreed quietly. "Its his job to notice, and to teach not only those who are born to the sword, like you and your brother, but everyone. Fighting their way out of Eregion, into this valley, building this refuge, and holding off a superior force for two years until help came, Glorfindel, your father, Erestor, and my father needed every sculptor, every chemist, every timid scholar who would rather read than fight. They needed their swords, and their hearts. No one had the option of not getting involved. If Glorfindel has forgotten that, and this is what it takes to remind him, fine. This once. But not again, alright?"

Elrohir nodded, contemplatively. "Mel wasn't involved, you know."

Celebrian grinned again. "Mel's never involved. Except when he is. Who got the two of you to start thinking about how to conceal your true objectives, anyway?"

The twins looked at Mel. Mel looked at Celebrian. "It was an accident, I was just trying to get them interested in their homework, so they'd let me do my work. And so that I'd have someone to talk to." Mel added honestly.

Celebrian nodded. "A lot of important things come about by accident. Imladris, among others."

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