One phone call…he had one phone call.

Dad and Pops were definitely out of the question. He refused to call them. They would flip. He needed someone trustworthy who wouldn't tell them.

Aunt Pepper? Oh god no. Dads are definitely better than she is.

Uncle Bruce? And risk the Hulk popping up. No.

Uncle Thor? No. He probably would end up telling everyone unintentionally.

Aunt Natasha? Almost as bad as Aunt Pepper. No.

Uncle Phil? No. He did not want to be tazed.

Uncle Rhodey? Not so much. His 'I'm Disappointed In You' look was almost as bad as Pops' 'I Can't Believe You've Disappointed Captain America' look.

Uncle Nick? HAHAHAHA.

Oh. Of course.

"Hey, Uncle Clint. I need your help. I…was an idiot…and I need you to bail me out of jail."

"Oh really?"

Peter froze. Why did his Dad have Uncle Clint's phone?

"Dad?" he squeaked.

"You know it's not good for a public figure like Spiderman to be in jail. It's even worse for Peter Stark-Rogers to be in jail." He could almost feel his Dad's agitation, and he swallowed hard.

"I-I'm sorry…? Why do you have Uncle Clint's phone?" he winced as his tone came out unintentionally accusatory. That would not help him later on.

"Oh sorry. Did I ruin your plan to secretly get a bail out?" Tony snorted, "He wanted upgrades. What prison you in kid?" Peter ran a hand through his hair.

"Central Downtown…in Brooklyn." He had no other option.

"On my way."

The wait for his Dad to arrive was agonizing, and not just because he was being hit on by his cell mate. He had no idea how his Dad was going to react. If it had been Pops who had answered the phone (oh god no), then he would have at least known what to expect. A good old fashioned dressing down and many disappointed looks. Dad was the wildcard.

"Tony Stark?!"

Oh great. So either way, everyone in the world would know that Peter was in jail.

"You never saw me."

"Two hundred bucks?! Nope. So, sir I do not recognize, what can I help you with?"

Peter nodded. Well, that seemed about right. Didn't want Stark Industries getting any flack for Peter's screw up.

A police officer opened his cell door and darted away. His cellmate winked, wiggling his fingers at him. Peter shuddered, moving closer to the police officer. If he wasn't so grateful for the officer, he'd almost be mad at the smirk he wore.

"First time in jail then kid?"

So maybe he'd be a little mad at the amusement in his voice. He nodded glumly, following him out to see his Dad. Tony wore his usual Armani suit and sunglasses, with a large frown on his face. Peter idly wished he could see his eyes to get an even better read on him, but he wasn't that lucky.

"Thank you!" Tony nodded to the men, grabbing Peter's arm and tugging him out of the station. Dropping him in the back of Happy's car, they stared each other down silently. Tony finally broke it.

"So Alcohol Breath, what happened?" Peter leaned back, hand idly coming to cover his mouth. Tony smirked, handing him a breath mint.

"I was at a party…and I drank…and I got pulled over by a cop…." Peter shifted uneasily. Tony raised an eyebrow.

"Really." He drawled, "So, you, Mr. Goody Two Shoes, decided all on your own to get drunk?" It was a question, but obviously a rhetorical one. Peter looked down, scratching the back of his neck.

"I….may….have been hanging out with Wade….and he….may….have spiked my drinks." He admitted quietly. Tony nodded slowly.

"I expected as much." He sighed, "I hate Wilson." Peter snorted.

"Well, at the moment, so do I…." he grumbled. Tony smirked at him again.

"Well, whatever shall we do as punishment?" he questioned, crossing his arms. Peter stiffened.

"A drag queen was hitting on me. Is that fair punishment?" he asked hopefully. Tony stared at him for a few moments, before shrugging.

"Sure. That's fine. We won't even tell your Pops." Tony pulled out his phone, obviously finished with this conversation.

"What?!" Peter blurted. Usually Tony was the tough Father, dolling out harsh punishments. Tony looked at him over the rim of his sunglasses, raising an amused eyebrow.

"Please Peter. I know you're too much of a goody two shoes to ever do this by yourself. And Wilson is a sneaky little fuck. He managed to get past Jarvis!" Tony was obviously still sore about that, and Peter stifled a snigger, "It wouldn't surprise me if you didn't even know you were drunk until the cop pulled you over." Tony looked back down to his phone. Peter shifted slightly.

He leaned over, hugging Tony quickly.

"Thanks Dad…."

Tony snorted.

"Oh please. This is as much for you as it is for me. Do you know how badly your Pops would freak if he knew you had done something alcohol related? He'd think it was my fault and be huffy and never let it go." Peter grinned as Tony rolled his eyes.

"Got me there." Peter shrugged, chuckling to himself. Tony tapped their knees together, taking off his sunglasses.

"You'll never drink again, right? I mean, at least until you're twenty one, right?" Tony checked. Peter raised an eyebrow at him.

"Of course not Dad. I didn't even know I was drinking!" he threw his hands in the air dramatically. Tony chuckled, leaning back. His phone in his hands rung loudly and Tony's brow furrowed. He answered it.

"Tony Stark-Rogers! Why is there a picture of you and our son coming out of a prison online?!"

Peter and Tony winced in sync. They looked to each other with wide eyes, before Tony threw the phone at him.

"Your problem now kid!"

R & R.