A/N: Hey guys, so here is the fourth and final part of the collection: the alternate ending. I honestly don't know what possessed me to write this, and apologies in advance for the angst overload. And should you wish to make your reading experience even more depressing, you should listen to 'Running Up That Hill' by Kate Bush.

WARNING: Character death.

"And if I only could, I'd make a deal with God,

and I'd get him to swap our places."

"NATASHA!"

Her lips seemed to struggle around two syllables, then her wide eyes glazed over and she fell forward, slumping into the dust. Her curls of red hair covered her face and she didn't even twitch... She just lay there, face-down on the ground, with her limbs at awkward angles... And Loki knew she was dead.

It was like having his ribcage wrenched open and the strings of his soul ripped out. He was consumed by a feeling of black-hole emptiness; the very abyss he had once thrown himself into blossomed at his core. There was nothing left for him in all the Nine Realms, not now she was gone. And he couldn't face the ages of these worlds without her. This was Ragnarök: the end of his world. He felt nothing... only a desire for death. For then there was a frail flicker of hope that he might somehow be reunited with her.

He tore his eyes away from Natasha's lifeless body to look up at The Other, who returned a bloodied, malevolent grin. Loki's last thoughts were of Natasha as The Other plunged the golden spear into his throat.

"NATASHA!"

Thor's head whipped to the side, following the sound of his brother's voice, and he saw Natasha fall; a Chitauri soldier stood over her clutching a bloodied blade. Loki was lying in the dust a few feet away, The Other towering over him with Loki's golden spear, poised to strike.

"Loki!" Thor cried, swinging Mjolnir at the warrior who blocked his path, knocking his head clean off his shoulders in a spray of black blood. As he vaulted over the crumpling, grey body, he saw Loki turn back to The Other, his eyes dead with defeat... And then The Other sank the spear into Loki's neck.

"NO!" If he hadn't taken flight, Thor was certain his knees would have given way beneath him, but he leapt into the air, his vision bathed in blood, with his hammer raised above his head to the clouds that roared and spat lightning behind him.

With an almighty, strangled howl, Thor brought Mjolnir down upon The Other, who had been too distracted by his good work to react in time. Thor struck blow, after blow, after blow, grinding The Other into dust beneath his hammer, which fell heavier than ever before, loaded as it was with Thor's agony.

When only the shreds of black cloak were left, Thor threw Mjolnir aside and rushed to Loki, gathering his brother up in his arms. Loki's shivering torso was soaked in the blood pumping from the gaping wound in his neck, and his white face was smeared red with the blood dribbling from his mouth. Loki twitched and convulsed in Thor's arms, his wide, green eyes staring up desperately into Thor's.

"Loki..." Thor choked, tears spilling down his cheeks, splashing onto Loki's scarlet-stained armour. "Stay with me, brother, please!" he begged.

Loki opened his mouth, but only the grizzly gurgle of blood-corrupted lungs came out and his head jerked back with each laboured breath.

"She's alive!"

Thor looked up to find Steve kneeling by Natasha, his fingers at her wrist. "Do you hear that, brother?" Thor laughed. "... Brother?"

Loki's green eyes were glassy and stared vacantly past Thor into the blackening sky above them. His chest no longer rose and fell, and he was still in Thor's arms.

"Loki?" Thor whispered, gently shaking him. "Loki! No! ... Help, somebody, please!"

Tony dropped to the ground in front of them, but said nothing. He pulled up his red and gold helmet, revealing his face, which was solemn and pained. The doctor had regained his human form and was crouching by Natasha. Both he and Steve looked towards Loki and the doctor hung his head, closing his eyes. They all knew it was too late.

Thor let out another terrifying, wounded howl and clutched Loki to his chest, wrapping his arms around him. With tears pouring down his face and his whole body shaking with sobs, Thor gently began to rock the cold, bloodied body of his fallen brother.

Thunder echoed all around them like the hooves of a thousand terrible horses and a dagger of white lightning shattered the heart of the gathering, black clouds.

Natasha lurched bolt upright in the bed, a scream stuck in her throat. The white light was everywhere, closing in on her in this cold, unfamiliar room. She felt as if she were chained down; there were clear plastic tubes coiled around her left arm and wires tacked to her chest.

"Natasha...?"

The voice jolted her further into unwelcoming reality. Turning sharply to her right she found Bruce and Tony standing at her bedside, their stances wary. Their faces looked tired and grey; Bruce clearly hadn't shaved in a while and that thought made her stomach turn, she wondered how long she'd been out of it.

"Bruce? Tony?" she whispered, peering around the bright, sparsely furnished room. "Where am I?"

"S.H.I.E.L.D. head quarters," Tony answered carefully.

Natasha stared at them. You could cut the tension in the room with a knife and they were obviously waiting for something... A glint of gold from the embossed title of the book on her bedside table caught her eye and flicked a switch in her mind; the memories filled the void like a noxious gas... Brooklyn... the Chitauri... Loki lying in the dust with The Other holding the golden spear to his throat... and... a burning ache spread from her shoulder, but she ignored the pain and looked wildly at the two scientists.

"Loki... where is he?"

Bruce and Tony exchanged despairing glances, then Bruce looked at the floor.

"You tell me where he is, Bruce!" Natasha growled, tears flooding her eyes. "TELL ME!"

Bruce met her gaze. "He didn't make it," he murmured, his own voice cracking.

"NO!" It was as if Bruce's words had ripped her heart right out of her chest, leaving her with a gaping black hole blossoming inside her ribcage with the rest of her being slowly dragged into it. She was a dying star, collapsing in on herself. She crumpled forward, but Tony moved to her side and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his chest.

"I'm so sorry, kid... I am so, so sorry..."

Natasha's desperate cries echoed around the white room and the longer Tony held her, the louder and more tormented they became. She kept her face pressed against Tony's chest – the arc reactor that shone through his shirt was cool and hard – and her fingers fiercely clutched at the fabric, like she feared if she let go she would fade away completely.

"Where's Thor?"

Natasha was sitting in bed with her knees pulled up to her chest and her arms wrapped around her legs. She had been staring at her feet, but when Bruce took a while to answer she turned to glare at him.

"He's taken Loki's body back to Asgard," the doctor said quietly.

Natasha closed her eyes, her mouth twisting in a silent cry. "He... He could've waited..."

Bruce stayed silent. His brown eyes were distant and he slumped in his chair, looking exhausted.

"He blames me," Natasha stated flatly, looking out of the small, dark window to her left.

"I never said that."

"But he does!" Natasha snapped, turning her eyes back to Bruce. "He blames me for what happened, and now he's taken Loki away from me before I even had chance to... to say goodbye."

"Tony, put the camcorder away!"

"What? This is a special moment; Loki's first steps. I thought you'd want it documented?"

"You just want him to face-plant so you can put it on Youtube!"

Natasha stared at the television screen through a haze of tears, pushing her back against the wall. She'd vetoed the bed on account of it offering too much comfort for what she was about to do, so she was sitting on the floor next to the bed in the corner furthest from the door. The picture on the screen shook as Tony put the camcorder down on the bench, but it kept recording. I knew he hadn't turned it off, Natasha thought bitterly. Everyone in Stark Tower had gone to great pains to strip the building of Loki's presence in preparation for Natasha's return, but search and rescue was part of her skill-set; she'd found the disc wedged in the bottom drawer of Tony's desk. 'Loki's First Steps' was scrawled across the silver surface in black marker pen. She wondered why Tony had kept it.

"Thor and I won't let you fall... Now try not to look at your feet. Look straight ahead, just take it slow."

Her own voice sent shivers down her spine. Then Loki looked right into the camera and for a few seconds the screen was filled with his bright green eyes, burning into her. That was her cue. Natasha picked up the gun from the floor at her side and, her finger curling round the trigger, put the barrel into her mouth.

"NO, NATASHA!"

Bruce burst into the room. The gun slipped from Natasha's mouth as Bruce vaulted over the bed and landed in front of her. Snatching the gun from her hands, he threw it across the room; it smacked into the opposite wall and clattered to the floor.

"I can't... I can't do it anymore..." Natasha whimpered, her hands hovering over her knees, shaking violently.

Bruce sat down beside her and pulled her into his arms, resting his chin on her hair. "I know... I know what that feels like..." Tears prickled his own eyes and he held Natasha tighter. He hadn't missed the warning signs in her that morning; the dull look in her eyes, her twitchy, defensive behaviour... He shouldn't have left her alone for a second. And as soon as he'd thrown open the door he'd seen himself crouching there with the gun. He never wanted anyone else to have to go through what he had, and he daren't think about what might have happened if he hadn't decided to check on Natasha.

"... you're almost at the lounge doors... I'm so proud of you!"

Bruce felt Natasha flinch and he looked up to see Loki looming on the television screen, larger than life. He instantly recognised his lab and the event... Repeatedly telling Tony to get rid of the disc hadn't worked; Tony still had hope that one day Natasha would ask him for it and it would be a comfort to her. Bruce reached for the remote lying on the bed and hastily switched it off. Now the only sound was Natasha's choked sobbing.

He wasn't sure how long they had been sitting there when she finally quietened. She lifted her head from his chest and peered around the room. "I keep forgetting," she said, her voice raw from crying. "I keep waiting for him to come back."

Bruce leant back against the wall. "I miss him too, you know," he said quietly. "He really grew on me."

They were both silent for a long time. Natasha stopped shaking and her hands came to rest on the floor, but Bruce could still feel her manic heartbeat throbbing against his chest. She kept her head on his shoulder, her tears darkening his shirt.

"What did Loki say to you, just before you put him under for his operation?" Bruce asked finally.

Natasha studied him curiously. She guessed where this was going, but still answered: "He told me not to throw my life away if he died."

"Exactly."

"But he did!" Natasha cried, pulling away from Bruce to lean against the bed. "He threw his life away! ... Because of me." She ran a frustrated hand through her hair, her face flushing red – she didn't want to be reminded of the hypocrisy of it all.

"I know," Bruce replied sadly. "But Loki was never one to take his own advice, you know that. And you're so young, Natasha. If you turn up in the afterlife now, you and Loki are going to be engaged in a domestic for eternity!"

"You really believe in an afterlife?" Natasha murmured.

"What did Loki believe in?" Bruce said, dodging the question.

"He thought he was going to Helheim."

"Helheim won't be able to handle him," Bruce said, with a grin. "He'll have found his way to Valhalla by now."

Natasha was stunned by Bruce's faith; she'd always had him down as a fellow hardened atheist, made that way by science and circumstance. "So... are you going to put me in a padded cell?" she asked wearily, changing the subject.

"No... We'll keep this, er, incident, between us, but only if you promise me never to try it again."

Natasha caught Bruce's eye, then quickly looked away again. She couldn't promise... Surely he of all people knew that?

"I know, OK?" he sighed. "I know... But can I just tell you one thing? The... the Other Guy spitting out that bullet was the best thing that ever happened to me. If he hadn't... I would never have come here, and met you, Tony, Steve... Thor... or been part of a team... felt like I belonged somewhere... It gets better, Natasha. I promise you, it gets better."

Natasha had no idea how to answer him. She'd heard him talk about his suicide attempt only once – on the hellicarrier six months ago, and even then he'd only said it in the heat of the moment. Bruce had always been so shy and reserved when it came to his personal life, especially the darker side of it. She knew he wouldn't be confiding such things to her now unless he genuinely cared and meant every word of it. She found herself in awe of his courage and his honesty... Bruce was someone who had pulled himself back from the brink and, despite her pain and the utter blackness of the situation, his words stirred something within her. She felt a flicker of hope, fluttering at her core, valiantly trying to beat back the relentless ache.

"Just don't give up... please," Bruce whispered. "But if you won't do it for me, or even for yourself... Do it for Loki."

Natasha exhaled, still looking into her lap. Then she lifted her gaze to meet Bruce's and nodded. "For Loki."

A/N: I'm sorry we had to end this on such a morbid note, though I should point out the original draft for the alternate ending finished with "...put the barrel into her mouth", but that was just too black altogether! I just want to say an enormous thank you to everyone who has reviewed, followed, and favourited – you've helped keep HtMHF alive for a little longer! My whole summer has pretty much been dedicated to writing this fic and its extras and now I'm absolutely gutted it's over!

I return to university this week and it's my final year so I'm not going to have a lot of time on my hands. BUT I do have a few ideas for Natasha/Loki one-shots, so please keep your eyes peeled for those! And again, thank you to every single person who has supported me this summer, you have no idea how happy you've made me!