Okay, I'm not sure how to say this... I'm so incredibly sorry for this inexcusable amount of time it took to update. I know I'v mentioned this before, but my personal life is really spiraling out of control, which is also leaving me with a fairly severe case of depression. I won't go into detail because I know you guys probably don't want to hear it anyways. SO, I must say, thank you so much for the reviews. There were so many for the last chapter and it really did help me keep going :) thank you all so much for helping me.

The tears fell.

He clenched his gray eyes tight, trying his hardest to seem brave in front of his female friend, but the pain of his futile love had eaten away at him. His hard shell was finally breaking.

Lenalee wasn't sure what exactly had happened. One moment she was asking if Allen had loved Kanda, and the next she was sitting next to a broken boy, comforting him and hugging him until the tears finally slowed. No matter what really had happened, she knew that her friend was obviously hurting, and she knew that she wanted to make him smile again. When he smiled, the whole order smiled. But now a days, his smiles grew more and more fake or sometimes, merely nonexistent altogether. It affected every person living inside the order; no one seemed to have the usually happy, carefree spunk they usually carried. Allen meant so much to everyone and anyone that had ever walked the long halls of the order, and Allen just wasn't very much himself recently.

Suddenly, as if realizing for the first time what he had been doing, the white haired boy shot up from his slouched position within his friend's comforting embrace, and he wiped away the remnants of his pained tears.

"I-I'm so sorry Lenalee… I guess it was just… sudden…" He finished with an unsettling hint of detachment heavily laced into his beaten voice.

"Allen… What happened? Why are you this sad? You seem beaten. And don't you even dare think about giving me the 'it must be my fever' crap, because you and I both know better than that. Yes, you're sick, but you hardly even shed a single tear when your own arm was ripped off so it's not as though you're weak or anything. Just… tell me what's wrong."

Allen looked up at his friend, her violet eyes were so honest and he soon felt himself relax. He contemplated whether or not to tell the girl. Would she betray his trust and tell Lavi? Would she be mad at him for being so stupid? Would she be sincere with her words and not tell anyone else? Allen couldn't tell. But… he had already told her that he loved Kanda... and she did comfort him as he cried…

"I…well… It's just that… Kanda hates me… But, I l-l-love him… and… I guess I want to be with him, but he just wants to see my cursed and hideous body dead… It just hurts, you know? ... And now you're probably thinking I'm stupid for falling in… in love with this guy…" he laughed an empty, bitter laugh, "well, I guess love is blinding, even if it blinds us from reason."

"Allen…"

"It's alright, though. I already knew I wouldn't ever get my happily-ever-after. I was only living in a fantasy...but…" He looked down at the letter in his lap and then rubbed the corner of his eyes with his sleeves, trying to rid himself of the tears that threatened to fall again. "If you could just… let me indulge myself in this a little longer… just, please help me."

It was wrong, she knew it was so wrong, but she couldn't – no – she wouldn't take away what little happiness the boy was desperately clinging onto, even if that meant helping him with a helpless situation.

"…Okay, I'll help you get through this, Allen." The boy's face almost instantly lit up "but," the girl paused, putting a finger up for effect, "you have to take cold medicine before I do anything."

"Bu-"

"No 'buts'!"

The long haired girl just about flew out of the room and in a matter of mere seconds she was back with a damp towel and small cup in hand. How she was gone and back so quick, the sick boy would never know, but he figured it had something to do with her innocence-powered boots.

The girl approached him and gently set the cup in the boy's pale hand, letting him inspect the thick, purple substance that settled on the inside. Whatever the substance was, it smelled rancid and made the small boy's black pit of a stomach turn.

"Um… Lenalee… this isn't from Komui is it?" he visibly gulped, genuinely terrified for his already poor health.

"Don't worry, I wouldn't subject you to that kind of torture; it's from Jerry." The boy let out a relieved sigh and carefully brought the purple liquid to his lips, only to flinch back in visible disgust as soon as all of the medicine had been entirely consumed.

"Ew, Lenalee that's gross!" the boy childishly complained while simultaneously being pushed so that he was lying down by an indifferent Lenalee. The girl then proceeded to place the damp cloth on his burning forehead. In a matter of short seconds, the pain was ceased remarkably as the boy softly smiled at the thought. Maybe he would be better soon.

"Jerry said that it would make you drowsy, so no walking around, got that?" her tone had a clear underline stating not to question her command, which the boy remained silent to.

Now, Lenalee had known Allen for at least one year, and throughout her entire friendship with the white-haired boy, she had always compared him to the word 'stubborn'. Whether it was in a heated argument about pointless subjects with Kanda in the mess hall, or if it was on the battlefield, diving head first into a hopeless situation because he felt a need and responsibility towards every lost soul. Allen Walker was without a doubt, one of the most stubborn people she had ever known. Because of this trait, the girl had expected at least a small amount of resistance when she had told him to essentially not do anything, so when he remained silent, it had begun a few questions.

The soft sound of pen on paper awoke Lenalee from her mental wanderings and she focused back on Allen only to find him busy, seemingly writing the last of the unfinished letter. The boy looked up at her and gave her a tired smile.

"I write one for him every day. I don't want to stop."

Stubborn.

Here the boy is, sick as a dog, yet he still refuses to stop his writing. Next he would probably be asking if he could physically get up and actually deliver it! In the state he's in currently, even with the medicine, he wouldn't make it up one flight of the order's steep stairs.

The boy looked down at his letter and folded up the corners, concealing the words on the inside. He then drew a small shaded heart in the center, something he'd grown accustomed to drawing on every one of his letters. Call it a habit of sorts.

"Lenalee…" Allen looked up, his grey eyes slightly lidded as the fatigue from within the medicine started kicking in and circulating around his blood system.

He wasn't quite sure if he should ask… Should he? Wouldn't it be imposing? Would it lose the meaning of it all together? Hesitantly, the boy shakily held out his hand and presented the finished and folded letter to the girl.

"Would you please help me and deliver this letter to Kanda?" He couldn't bring himself to meet his friend's sympathizing purple eyes. The boy was scared that she would see him as weak. Or maybe as just a coward? After all, he was stopped by a mere sickness. Would she look down on him now?

In the midst of his self-derogatory thoughts, laughter blossomed in the otherwise-still air. Startled, Allen looked up and noticed Lenalee slightly leaning over in delighted giggles. When she finally put herself together and met Allen's gray eyes, she could clearly see the question written in them.

"I wasn't laughing at you, I swear! I was just- well – I was honestly expecting you to bolt out of here and try to deliver it yourself! I'm glad to know that you've finally matured a little and realized that you're sick!" Allen looked a little offended at this, but the girl just smiled and waved it off.

The sick boy slowly lowered himself back down to lie on the mattress, a sigh of relief flooding him when the softness of his single pillow cradled his sore head. He was patiently waiting for the girl to reply to his question, but he knew that there was still the possibility that she might decline. And that worried him. He wanted more than anything to keep sending letters. It was as if it were his addiction now.

Lenalee placed her hand over the letter that the boy still held, and smiled at him. "Of course I'll help you, Allen."

Allen sighed. He honestly hadn't thought she would agree to do it. It just seemed out of the question. But, now that she had accepted to help, he felt a little bad for not having very strong faith in his kind-hearted friend.

After carefully tucking away the love letter into one of the numerous pockets that adorned her exorcist uniform, Lenalee sat on the edge of the sick boy's bed. "So, um, how exactly do I deliver it without Kanda catching me? Do you go into his room? Do you slide it into his pocket? Leave it in front of his door? Is there a specific time? I kind of need to know…"

The boy silently laughed at himself. Apparently his medicine-clouded mind had already assumed that the long-haired girl would already know how to give it to the samurai.

"I slide it under his door, usually right after dinner, since he's out practicing late, "the boy tiredly slurred out, his eyes started to shut as his eyelids grew heavier by the second.

With an understanding nod of the head, the violet-eyed exorcist stood up with the letter still safe in her pocket. Turning towards the door, Lenalee gave one last look towards the near-asleep boy, allowing a determined look to dominate her features. "Don't you worry Allen, you're like my little brother, and I won't let anything, or anyone hurt you. Just don't you worry."

As if finally relenting and giving over to Lenalee, the boy nodded off into a calm slumber.

Lenalee rushed down the halls, trying to remember which floor Kanda's room was on when suddenly, something tall and red blurred in front of her and she soon found herself on the ground, with none other than Lavi Bookman sprawled unceremoniously over her.

"Lavi?"

"Hi Lenalee! How's it going?"

"Well, considering you just fell on top of me and we're both laying on the floor, I'd say it's not really 'going' at all…"

Thrown out of his daze, the fiery haired exorcist leaped up onto his feet and sheepishly scratched the back of his neck.

"Sorry about that… I was running from Yuu and I guess I wasn't paying attention." He nervously laughed while offering a hand to help the fallen girl stand up.

Smiling, the long haired girl accepted his hand and stood up beside him. "That's alright, Lavi! But, um… what did you do this time to upset Kanda?..."

"Nothin' much. Just, ya know, poured an entire container of wasabi in his soba. Nothing really. He got all mad over it, though," he sighed, "drama queen."

"Lavi…" The redhead looked at her expectantly.

"You're a moron."

Said moron cried out in denial as he threw his arm around his friend. "No~! Lenalee! Don't be so mean! You hang around Yuu too much! It's worn off on you!"

The girl pried the elder off of her and gave a half-hearted glare. "Knock it off, Lavi. Please, for once, just act your age."

Thrown off guard, Lavi held up both of his arms in defense, "Whoa, what happened to you? You were fine just a sec ago! Aww, is widdle Lenalee mad today~?"

The feigned concern only proved to piss off the female even further and she stubbornly crossed her arms and huffed. Lavi always had a way to say the wrong thing. Usually, she wouldn't mind this very much, but after her encounter with Allen she'd been on edge, and dangerously close to toppling off.

Lavi, after spending a few seconds oblivious to the fact that his friend might actually be frustrated for a purpose, decided to try his luck and ask again, more sincere this time around. "So, uh, what are you mad? Did something happen?"

Lenalee softly hummed in response as she uncrossed her arms. "Allen's sick, and I'm just really worried about him… and to top it off, he told me that he li-… Never mind." The girl internally cursed herself for the slip up. She just prayed that her hyper active friend hadn't caught it.

"He told you that he what?"

Damn it.

"Um, nothing! Now, uh, I'm going to go have some… Dinner! Yeah, dinner… What time is it again?..."

Softly chuckling at the girls frantic and yet painfully obvious cover up, the red head once again flung his arm around Lenalee's shoulders and began walking towards the cafeteria. "Close enough to dinner time! We'll just be a tad bit early!"

While sitting down at a table with Lavi nearly half an hour after their conversation in the hallway, Lenalee was surprised to say the least when a particular sword-wielding exorcist came to their table and sat down with a meager bowl of steaming soba. Of course, the man didn't make any move to speak to them or even make eye contact, but the mere fact he was sitting with other people was enough to get both Lenalee and Lavi to stop their previous irrelevant chatting.

Being the more apathetic of his own safety, Lavi decided to break the somewhat tense silence that had derived the moment Kanda had sat down. "Hey! Not that I'm not glad that you're sitting here or anything, but… why are you sitting here? Finally going to admit that I'm your best friend huh? Well, too bad! Cause Lenalee's already my best friend! You waited too long! I'm sorry! I've replaced you!" He ever dramatically announced, causing the victim of such theatricals to scowl.

"Like hell. I just don't want to be stuck sitting with moyashi or whoever the fuck it is that keeps sending me stalker letters."

Lavi laughed at that, "Honestly, Yuu! The way you say it, you make it sound like you put the two on the same level! I mean, I know you don't like the kid and all, but it's not like he has a crush on you! Give him at least some credit, right Lenalee?!"

Lenalee froze and then started nervously laughing. "Ha, y-yeah… Allen would never like someone as mean to him as Kanda is… Hah… I mean, he deserves someone that treats him well…" In the midst of her trying to confirm Lavi's false accusations of Allen, she had ended up speaking what she had believed. She really felt Allen was somewhat in the wrong for liking Kanda. Yes, it sounded mean and it sounded harsh, and it was nowhere near her place to decide who the young boy fell in love with, but she also believed that he deserved much more. Kanda insults him, Kanda hurts him, and Kanda ignores him. Meanwhile, Allen's heart is astonishingly large, Allen is brave, and Allen loves Kanda to the point of tears. Lenalee just thought that through the entirety of the young boy's past experiences and with his loving nature, he should love and be loved in return.

By the time the girl had stopped her mental debating, she had realized that the dark haired man had left, not even the bowl of soba still on the table to remind her that he was ever even sitting with them in the first place. Lavi, however, was still talking about something or another; apparently unaware that Lenalee wasn't paying attention.

"Lavi," she interrupted.

Seemingly surprised by the sudden intrusion in his epic tale, the fire headed male quieted and hmmed in response.

"When exactly did Kanda leave?"

"Whoa, you really were deep in thought! He left about eight minutes ago. I'm pretty sure he's off training." He responded with a light flick to the girl's forehead.

Without another word, Lavi's dinner partner had left the table then the room, heading to who-knows-where. He couldn't help but frown at the thought that she might be going to see Kanda. Why else would she leave like that after asking about their dark haired friend?

Meanwhile Lenalee was nervously fingering the letter still inside her pocket. Allen had told her to deliver it after dinner so that Kanda wouldn't be in the room. She hadn't thought that she would be so nervous. Why was she so nervous? It wasn't like it was her own love letter to the man. Was it because she was afraid of being caught? Possible, but not likely… She couldn't quite put her thumb on it, but whatever it was, it was pulling on her conscious and quickening the pace of both her pace and her heart.