Chapter 2

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Disclaimer: I don't own Kuroshitsuji or any of the characters


As the years passed, both boys discovered what was really happening. As usual, Sebastian seemed to simply accepted it. But Ciel became resentful. He kept the game up, but it bothered him that he was being forced to live the restrictive life of a girl. He complained to his parents often, only to be ignored. Some part of him thought that his parents had actually begun to believe the lie. In the end, the only person he could talk to freely was Sebastian.

He didn't mind being Sebastian's fiancée. He was nice. He listened. They were good friends. The two shared secrets that they would share with no one else- secrets they COULDN'T share with anyone else.

Today, Ciel was fed up with being a girl. He needed to talk with Sebastian again. The only person who really loved him. He left the new mansion, kindly donated by the queen, and set out on his own the the Michaelis household, refusing chauffeurs as he left. He arrived at his fiancée's house in a huff and was escorted to Sebastian's room at his demand.

Ciel did not even bother to say hello when the butler of the house shut the door, leaving him with Sebastian in private.

"I hate my life!" he announced, throwing himself in an un-lady-like fashion face-first into the cushions of the fancy red sofa where Sebastian sat, previously reading. He felt Sebastian's hands immediately resting on his shoulders, the Sebastian equivalent of a hug.

"What's the matter, Robin?"

"Don't call me that! My name is CIEL! And I hate being a girl. I want to be a boy again. Life is so restrictive! I wish I had never been born!"

Ciel broke into tears.

Sebastian had heard this story before. He knew the routine. It was very dull and unchanging. In fact, his whole life was mostly dull and unchanging. It bothered him no end. Ciel was a wonderful friend, and he brought him some tiny amount of colour and joy in his monochrome life, but he could nag about the same thing forever. And was, although he would never dare say it outloud, a bit of a brat.

Sebastian had indeed been raised to be a polite perfect gentleman. And he was, but he didn't want to be. He wanted to be like the dashing rogue pirate heroes of the cheap, middle-class novels that he and his other noble friend would smuggle in and out of their mansions and read together. They would act out the stories in secret at night in the gardens. It was the closest to adventure that he ever felt he could get.

But the midnight adventures could not last forever. Sebastian knew that sooner or later, the games would end and he would again be in a monochrome, boring world. For now, though, Ciel needed his attention.

Ciel felt comforted by his friend's proximity. His sobbing died down and he continued his rant.

"I can't do anything. Life is just a giant rule that I cant break. I want to stop being a girl. Do you think I should just stop? Not listen to them?"

"Ciel, you would bring disgrace to the family if you did. But I understand what you feel."

"No you don't."

"I sort of do, then. My parents are very strict too."

"But you aren't a GIRL."

"I guess that's true. What would be good about being a boy again?"

"I could wear breeches again. I could go to a boys school. I could go outside when I wanted. I could go hunting. I could get a job..."

The list continued.

"The only thing stopping me..."

This intrigued Sebastian. Ciel never mentioned this reason before.

"Yes?"

"Then you couldn't marry me. And I don't want that. I don't want to hurt your feelings like that. You're wonderful. Everything any girl or boy could wish for."

Sebastian did his best to hide the surprise on his face. He managed quite well. But his movements were now slow and ackward.

He replied carefully, "This isn't about me."

"Of course it is. You're my fiancée! You don't want me being a boy!"

"Ciel, I don't mind if you don't marry me."

That was a bad choice of wording. Ciel's eyes watered and he looked at the older boy angrily. Sebastian could tell that in his current mental state, Ciel would overreact to nearly everything.

"You don't love me? I thought we were friends!"

"Ciel, calm down- we are friends. I just want what's best for you."

"You don't think you are best for me! You don't think I'm best for you! I should have known!"

Ciel stormed out without waiting for a response. Sebastian rubbed his temples to try and prevent a sprouting headache without success.

Oh, brilliant.

Ciel wasted no time. His parents were out. Good. He rummaged through his room until he found a plain blue nightdress that was slightly too small for him. He tore off the sleeves, making it into a tunic by adding a belt. He wasn't wearing a corset for once in a very long time, and he loved the feeling. He felt so free! He raided his parent's room until he found a pair of his fathers leggings, which he quickly rolled up to fit him.

He felt like a boy.

He felt free!

Of course, he couldn't stay here. Not anymore. Not like this. He hesitated for a moment- was there?

He remembered his long walks through London with Sebastian. In a corset. Holding a parasol. And wearing some horrible multi-layer dress that made breathing nearly impossible.

He climbed out through a window.