Disclaimer: All characters belong to Teletoon. I do not own Total Drama in any way, form or fashion. Thank you for flying Delta and enjoy your read.

Author's Note: A couple of things before you start this story.

1. It's set 5 years after Total Drama: Revenge of the Island. The original contestants could be anywhere from 25 - 28, taking into account varying birthdays, the age they entered the show, and assuming they age in real time. (Total Drama: Revenge of the Island aired in 2012, so hypothetically its 2017 or 2018 in this fic.) The contestants had to be at least 16, and I know it was specified all of them were that age, but my headcanon is some of them entered at ages 17 - 18. Also, the newer contestants from Total Drama: Revenge of the Island would be around 21 - 24.

2. If the characters seem slightly OOC it is not because I'm trying to write them OOC, I simply want to write them as slightly more mature adults. (But knowing our dear contestants, most of them have probably not matured much. Especially the boys.)

3. I am attempting to write this story in present tense, but I'm really bad at tenses. I apologize ahead of time for any mistakes.

Chapter 1 - Here we go again! (Day one, 1st challenge)

EXT. PAHKITEW ISLAND - MORNING

"Hello to all of you fans of Total Drama! It's me, your favorite ever-loving host - Chris McLean! To announce; Season 7 of Total Drama is finally here! And it's the biggest season yet! With more drama than anyone can handle! It's a mega reunion season with 37 episodes! 38 contestants! With the most exciting theme to date…

TURNABOUT

TURNCOAT!

(Theme song plays - I Wanna Be Famous)

A camera pops up from the bottom right corner, another swings in from the top left, a third one squelches out of a bog, a disgruntled toad on top, and a fourth pops out of a rock, sending a squirrel flying. A hand crosses the frame and slams a clapper shut.

The camera swings down the river, passing Chris and Chef arguing on top of a rock outcropping, Chef pushes Chris off the rock.

It travels over the island, up the side of a cliff, where Alejandro and Heather are quarreling. Heather angrily kicks him in the kiwis, and he topples off into the ravine, with her reaching after him wearing a horror stricken face.

He lands with a splash, and the camera zooms underwater, where Duncan is being chased through the ruins of a sunken ship by a large, angry fish. The fish slaps him with its tail, and he goes flying out of the water, landing on a canoe containing Courtney, Trent and Gwen. Trent and Gwen gaze longingly into eachother's eyes, oblivious to Courtney and Duncan's screaming match. Courtney picks up a paddle to whack Duncan, but it's snatched out of her hand by a harpy eagle.

The eagle flies upwards, and realizing the paddle isn't food, drops it. The camera pans quickly down to the forest, where Scott is yelling at Dawn, who is surrounded by her woodland friends. The paddle hits Scott on the head and he falls to the ground, where the animals quickly jump him.

It pans left to Jo laughing, then the camera zooms out and Brick is shown glaring at her, arms crossed. She grins wickedly, grabbing hold of his shirt and pulling him in for a kiss.

The camera rapidly zooms through the forest, coming out on the other side and revealing Izzy, Noah, and Eva in a life raft, screaming as they shoot down a waterfall.

They fall past Harold and Lightning, who are standing on a log laying across the ravine, showing off their skills to an unimpressed Leshawna. Ezekiel/Gollum enters stage right, riding a large Cassowary, and they trample over Harold and Lightning. The log breaks, sending Harold and Lightning into the drink, and knocking Leshawna in after them. The camera whip pans left, and Ezekiel/Gollum and the bird are shown slamming into the outhouse.

Tyler and Lindsay tumble out, clearly in the middle of a make-out session, and a toilet paper roll falls out after them, rolling towards the mess house. The camera tracks it, and then zooms in on the mess house window, revealing the silhouette of a chef. It fades to inside, and surprise! It's DJ, preparing a delicious looking meal. He looks to his left and frowns, the camera panning to reveal Geoff and Bridge sitting back to back, ignoring each-other. The camera pans left again, where in contrast, Zoey and Mike are lovingly wrapped up in one another's arms.

A hand reaches over the kitchen counter, intent on grabbing some snackage, and DJ slaps the hand away scoldingly. Owen is shown running through the mess house wailing, passing Sadie and Katie laughing at the dining table, and Blaineley complaining to Cameron as he writes in a large notebook. Owen bursts out the front door, and trips on the steps, face-planting onto the beach and rolling past Anna Maria, who is in a swimsuit, and applying tanning oil all over her body.

Dakota is laid out on a towel in the sand, and Sam is rubbing suntan lotion onto her back, tongue tucked into the corner of his mouth as he attempts to play his game boy one handed. Down the beach, Beth and Justin are talking conspiratorially behind some rocks.

The camera whip pans upwards to the tree house from the last season. Jasmine and Shawn are patching it up with hammers and nails, Shawn stares lovingly at Jasmine, and accidentally slams his finger with the hammer. He screams in pain, and drops the hammer, the camera tracking it down to the ground, where Max, Scarlett and B are experimenting with an electronic, boxy contraption. Max pushes the button on the remote control, and the contraption explodes into flames, charring them all. Scarlett glares at Max menacingly, and he chuckles nervously.

The flames of the fire travel up, fading into sparks, the sky turning from day to night. The camera tracks the sparks down, past the moon, and to a campfire that Cody and Sierra are sitting behind, holding hands and smiling at one another. Chef comes up behind them, grabbing Cody and dragging him away, Sierra screams, and has to be restrained by several people, the camera zooms back into a long shot, showing all the contestants gathered around the fire, and a large sign reading: Total Drama Turnabout Turncoat.

"Welcome back to Total Drama! We have returned to our island from the fifth season," Chris says, gesturing behind him, "After extensive repairs, numerous lawsuits, and government interference, our mechanical, man-made island is programmed, updated, and up to code." Chris mumbles to the camera out of the side of his mouth, "Or so I led everyone to believe." (winks)

"However, it pains me to inform everyone," he grimaces, "that due to all of our lawsuits in the past, I will no longer be able to threaten the contestants lives with the challenges, and I must spend more time ensuring safety precautions, due to court rulings. As much as I LOATHE these changes, I must follow the rules, or it will be sayonara to my glorious career." He sniffs and wipes away an imaginary tear.

"But," he grins evilly, "that doesn't mean these challenges will be any easier. Oh, no," he says gleefully, rubbing his hands together. "The fun has just begun! And I promise you," he whispers, leaning into the camera conspiratorially, "I will have my usual tortuous jollies by placing a traitor, picked by moi, on every team! HAHA! BWHAHA BWWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA-" He stops abruptly. "Now onto our contestants!"

Chris dramatically waves his hands and two large buses rumble into view.

"All of our lovely campers have been kidnapped from their houses in the middle of the night. Heavily sedated and kept in their own private cubicle while driving, sailing, and flying cross country, none of them has any idea where they are, and that the rest of the crew is here." Chris grins. "So as you can imagine, they're all gonna be a little peeved when we let them out of the bus." He snickers in anticipation.

"Chef! Do us the courtesy of opening the doors!"

A big green bus pulls up and the doors slowly slide open.

"Our first contestant, that devious, scheming, Queen Bee… HEATHER!"

A groggy Heather, dressed in a black tank and matching shorts, stumbles out into the sunlight. She rubs her eyes sleepily. "Wha..? What? Where the heck am I? What's going – YOU!" She spots Chris, and is instantly alert, pointing an accusing finger at him. "What have you done now you $%^#&^$%* stupid $#%&^#%& petty #$%^#%& stuck up #$^$%^% self-absorbed #$^#$%& son of a motherless whore!" She cries, shaking with rage.

"It's a pleasure to see you too, Heather! Heather has returned to the show, her last appearance having been on Total Drama: All - Stars. Though Heather has won Total Drama before, she never received her due. Will she take a second win and actually get the money this time? Or Will Alejandro drive her to distraction once more?"

"Wait… What?! Alejandro's here?! AUGH! CHRIS! I'LL MAKE YOU PAY FOR THIS!" She screeches dramatically as Chef pushes her away from the cameras.

"Next up, a competitor from season 1, the infamous, psychopathic, anger-management, monster… EVA!"

Eva comes stomping down the bus stairs, dressed in a navy sports bra and matching sweats. "What the-? Hey!" she exclaims, in her gravelly voice. "This isn't my front yard! Wait a minute… Chris?! ARGGHH! HOW COULD YOU BRING ME BACK HERE YOU SICK, TWISTED, PORNOGRAPHIC PYTHON!" she snarls, menacingly advancing towards Chris, only to have Chef block her way, and direct her out of view.

"Eva hasn't had much luck so far, but will her luck turn? Will she be able to control her anger? And how many campers are going to try to attack me today?

Next we have our Loud and Proud, bootylicious ghetto girl. The one and only…. LESHAWNA!"

Leshawna comes storming out of the bus, her hair poofed up in a giant Afro. She is wearing her classic purple bra, thong, and cover up. "CHRIS!" bellows Leshawna, storming determinedly towards him. "YOU SOME KINDA CRAZY, YOU BACK STABBING, BEHIND YO BACK, MAGGOT!? LESHAWNA DOES NOT APPRECIATE HAVING HER BEAUTY SLEEP INTERRUPTED!" She gets all up in Chris' face. "YOU HAVE SOME EXPLAINING TO DO, YOU SKINNY WHITE TRASH! AND IT BETTER BE GOOD!"

"Um, Chef?!" Chris squeaks. Chef heaves out a sigh, and starts dragging away the still irate Leshawna. "I'll get you for this, Chris! You hear me?! You are some dead white trash!" she calls, shaking her fist.

"Whew, that was close!" Says Chris, running his hand through his immaculate hair. "Our next contestant is as loony as a loon! Crazy as can be, and belongs in a mental institution…. IZZY!"

"It only took 30 of our best interns and enough sedatives to put down a bull elephant to finally catch her. The interns should recover," Chris smiles wickedly, "in a couple of years." He laughs maniacally.

"Ooooh! I can evil laugh too!" Interjects Izzy, jumping down from the bus, wearing a light green and blue top coupled with striped shorts. "Here, listen to Explosivo!" She begins to cackling maniacally with a Spanish accent.

"Uh, yeah…" Chris says, scratching his head. "You do that. CHEF! Get her outta here."

"Heheheheh! You will never take Explosivo alive! Catch me if you can!" she yells, bounding away. Chef growls and starts after her.

"Next up, that mentally distressed homeschooler, finally recovered after months of rehab, and having made a fortune volunteering for dangerous medical experiments, it's EZEKIEL!"

"Yo, yo!" calls Ezekiel, stepping off the bus. He is wearing full white long johns, and has replaced his ridiculous hat with a white cap. Even in his pajamas he still has tons of bling on his fingers, toes and around his neck. "How's it goin, my homies?" he says, crossing his arms gansta style.

"It's going fantastic, Zeke! Ezekiel hasn't been a very popular contestant on the show so far, but perhaps this time he will be able to prove his worth!"

"Yo, you know it, eh!" He smiles, pumping his fist into the air.

"Doubtful," mutters Chris under his breath. "Moving on. Our next contestant is loud and feisty, never takes no for an answer, has sued this show on multiple occasions, and has been accused numerous times of having a pole up her uptight arse! Let's all welcome that crazy C.I.T… COURTNEY!"

"CHIRS MCLEAN! YOU ARE A DEAD MAN!" cries Courtney, hurrying down the steps with a murderous expression on her face. She is wearing a green top that shows her stomach and matching short shorts. She has let her hair grow out to waist length, and most surprising of all, had gotten her belly button pierced. "AND I DON'T NEED MY LAWYERS TO RIP YOU APART THIS TIME!"

"And why is that?" questions Chris. Courtney puts her hands on her hips and leans into Chris' personal space.

"BECAUSE I AM ONE, LITTLE MAN," she growls.

Chris gulps nervously, then notices Courtney's piercing.

"Wooh, looks like a certain delinquent had more affect on you then you'd like to admit!" says Chris, pointing to her belly button and laughing. "He give you that piercing, or did you get drunk and do it after he left you?" He doubles over in laughter. "Oh, that's precious. Hey, Cameraman. Zoom in on Miss Princess' belly button! HHAHAHAHA!"

Courtney's face goes beet red. She yowls animalisticly and tackles Chris, proceeding to try and rip out his hair.

"YOU GO GUURRRLLLLL!" cries Leshawna from the side.

"Ow! Get off me you bloody she-cat! CHEFFFFF!" Chris screams. "Come on, Courtney! I've got a time limit on this show, you know! Ow! My beautiful hair!" he screeches.

"Our next contestant, OW! Everyone's favorite bad boy, OWWW! That wicked delinquent of, JESUS CHRIST! Many girlfriends…. DUNCAN!" He finally gets out.

Courtney looks up with a shocked face.

"Get off me, woman!" Chris growls. Sensing his distraction is successful, he tries to scramble free from her iron grip.

Duncan steps off the bus looking dazed. He groans, rubbing his bruised head, courtesy of the 6 interns that tried to jump him at his apartment. Chris should have known better than to try to sneak up on a past criminal. You learn to listen for things nobody else does after being in prison for an extended period of time. Keeps ya healthy. The interns had finally got him, but he is proud to say it took 17 interns to do so. He takes a look around, and freezes the moment his eyes light on Courtney, who is still straddling Chris and yanking his hair

"…Courtney?" he says, confused.

Courtney quickly jumps off of Chris. "Um, I… That is… Um," she stammers, blushing furiously.

"Wow, Court." Duncan grins his trademark smirk. "Didn't know Chris was your type."

Courtney's eyes open as wide as saucers. "You.. you!" she sputters, trying to regain composure. "THAT'S NOT WHAT THIS WAS AT ALL!" she yells, balling her fists by her sides, looking ready to attack Duncan next.

Duncan stares at her in surprise. The Courtney he knew wouldn't have hesitated to maul him to death for a comment like that. "What's up with that?" He thinks. His mind drifts from the conversation as he studies her more closely. She looks older now, and if possible, even more beautiful. She had let her gorgeous mocha hair grow out and it looked fantastic. And, was that a… belly piercing?! Duncan shakes his head. She had changed so much over the two years he hadn't seen her. And as much as he hates to admit it, he had missed her a lot. Even with Gwen by his side. He suddenly notices her staring, and wonders what is going through her head as well.

Courtney can't believe her eyes. If at all possible, the cheating son of a bitch is even sexier. He's taller, and definitely looks older. His appearance is also a bit harsher, the lines of his face are hard and pronounced, his gaze dark and heavy, and his chin rough with stubble. The revered mohawk is still in place, and longer than before. He has ditched his nose piercing, and the rest of his piercings are a dark gun metal instead of the original bright silver. She can see every line and curve of him in his tight white boxers and undershirt, and its clear he's been working out. She blushes self-consciously. "Come on, Courtney!" she thinks, frustrated. "You're over him! Totally!"

"Yeah, right. That's why you're TOTALLY ogling him," says her inner voice.

"I am not! As if I could still be attracted to that, cheating, lying, self centered-" she argues.

"You. Missed. Him. Admit it," it insists.

"I will admit to no such thing, I don't-"

"You still like him, you like him, you like-" it chants.

"SHUT UP!" Courtney explodes.

Duncan's eyebrow quirks up. "I didn't say anything."

Courtney rolls her eyes. "No, not you. Ugh. I didn't mean to say that out loud…" she trails off.

"Talking to yourself? Me leaving must have undone you more than I thought." He smirks.

Courtney's onyx eyes glare daggers. "Don't flatter yourself," she says primly, and stalks off.

"Ugh," moans Chris from the ground. "So far Duncan has been very lucky-Ow, my back-in this competition, usually making it to the bitter end and has-Ooh, my head-taken home one win. Will he be able to pull it off again? Will Courtney and him finally make up? Or maybe make out? And how will Gwen feel about all this? Stay tuned to find out…. Ooooow. MEDIC!"

"Subsequently," Chris continues, wobbling to his feet with two interns supporting him. "Is that evil, cunning, and extremely attractive Hispanic male…ALEJANDRO!…Man, do I need an ice pack."

Alejandro confidently steps off the plane. Unlike all of the other contestants, he looks fresh and well rested. Part of his hair is in a ponytail, and he is wearing light red boxers and a tight undershirt of grey.

"Chris," Alejandro almost purrs. "A pleasure to see you again. Am I correct to assume you have brought us here for another set of challenges, and another chance at that fantastico million dollars?"

"No, I just brought you here for a giant tea party because I just love hanging out with you freakshows," Chris says sarcastically. "Of course you're here for money and challenges! This isn't soap opera, or a sitcom! Half killing you idiots is the only way to get ratings on this show. That- and conflict." Chris winks deviously. "Why don't you say hello to Heather, Al?"

Alejandro quickly turns. "Heather?" he says, half nervous, half excited. Heather awkwardly steps forward, one arm wrapped around her middle and her other hand nervously twisting her hair.

"Um, uh, Ale- Alejandro," she falters. "Um, Hello?"

"Mi Amore…" he murmurs, moving towards her.

Heather blushes bright crimson. She looks down at the ground, trying to avoid meeting his eyes. She worriedly twists her fingers.

"It's been three years since Alejandro and Heather's nasty breakup was splashed across the tabloids. Will we ever know what issues rendered them apart? And will they resolve those issues and let love rekindled in their hear-" he stops, realizing everyone is staring at him in utter bewilderment.

Chris coughs awkwardly and clears his throat. "I MEAN, will Heather and Alejandro's bitter breakup fuel their competitive spirits? Will their burning rivalry flame to life again? Will they betray and maim for the money once more?" He mumbles curses under his breath. "That is the last damn time I ever let Chef convince me to watch one of those sappy chick flicks with him."

Heather and Alejandro are completely oblivious to Chris or anyone else.

"Heather. Mi chica… look at me." Alejandro tilts her chin up. "Look me in the eyes, mi flor."

She blushes even more red, but does what he asks and looks him in the eye. Everyone holds their breath, as the two lean into one another, each turning their head to the side, slowly coming together, lips nearly touching…

"OKAAAAYYYYYY!" yells Chris, through an enormous megaphone. "Damn kids," he gripes. "They'll be even harder to control now that their in their 20's." He brings the megaphone to his lips. "Our next contestant is everyone's favorite party animal, whose vocabulary consists of "Dude, various forms of bro, and party!" Let's all welcome… GEOFF!"

Geoff steps off the bus, rubbing his eyes. He wears ripped Bermuda shorts, which look like they haven't been washed in a week. His unshaven face is haggard and worn, and his customary cowboy hat is tilted askew on his head. "Duuude!" he exclaims, looking around. "Where am I?"

"Geoff is usually considered to be one of the good guys," Chris explains, "but after a continuation of his TV show host career, and later, a nasty, widely publicized breakup with Bridgette, Geoff seemed to be edging toward the dark side. He returned in the..." Chris' face twists into a grimace, "Ridonculous Race," he grits out, wincing in almost physical pain, "and secured his first win, while seeming to be back to his old friendly self. Will Geoff keep to his bro-y persona? Or will he revert to being sadistic and cruel?"

"Woaaah! Chris, mann!" He walks over and gives Chris a slap on the back, who winces in annoyance. "Am I like, back on the show, dude? That's totally rad! Hey, Is that vanilla dolphin, surfer Malibu, Bridgey here yet?" he queries, shading his eyes and looking around.

Chris winces again. "No, Geoff. Your Girlfriend is not here yet. Now, get lost." Chris runs his hand down his face in exasperation.

Geoff looks down at his feet. "Yeah man, about that… Ya see… me and Bridge… we're still not back together. It didn't work out, man. Y'know what I mean?" He pushes back his cowboy hat and looks at Chris with sad eyes. "She had dreams, dreams that didn't involve me, Dude. So we like, separated. Permanently."

Several of the campers gasp and exchange glances off to the side. Chris looks critically at Geoff. "That would explain the total lack of hygiene and lone wolf Rambo look, I suppose. Well, I hate to burst you bubble G, but I don't reaaalllly care!"

"Moving on!" Chris yells. "The man you can hardly even compare to the most magnificent Arabian horse, or a strutting peacock with the most stunning feathers - JUSTIN!"

Justin calmly steps off the bus. His hair is shorter than before, and he is wearing green boxers, and a white undershirt.

"Chris!" he exclaims, looking around with shining eyes. "Am I back?! Is now finally the time to prove that I have worthiness beyond my good looks?!" he postures dramatically.

Chris rolls his eyes. "Originally Justin was only chosen for his looks. But after everyone discovered what a jerk he was, Justin fell in popularity. Will Justin redeem himself in the eyes of his teammates and the public? Will he finally make use of his long neglected brain? Stay tuned to find out, on Total Drama: TURNABOUT TURNCOAT!"

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

(COMMERCIAL BREAK ENDS)

"Welcome back everyone! Hope you enjoyed that commercial for Licky Quickies burger joint!" Chris looks around suspiciously then leans into the camera. "Take my advice and avoid that place, for whatever reason, everything tastes like spit." He shudders.

"Now back to our contestants! Returning to the show after a fairly long absence is suave and sensual guitar guy – TRENT!"

Trent slowly pokes his head out of the bus and looks around cautiously.

"It's alright to come on out, Trent!" calls Chris. "We haven't started the challenges! We won't bite, YET. Mwahhhaaannaa."

Trent swallows nervously and steps off the bus.

"Uh yeah. That's not what I was worried about Chris. Are, uh, Katie and Sadie out here yet?" he asks nervously.

"Ahhh, I see." Chris nods sagely. "On the lookout for fangirl one and fangirl two. I completely understand. Well, we'll make sure we keep you as far away from them as possible."

Trent sighs in relief. "Oh, thanks, man. I really appreciate that. I mean they're great girls and everything, but a few years ago I was stuck on a yacht with them for a couple weeks, and it was torment. I mean you wouldn't believe the things they made me—"

Chris abruptly whips out his megaphone and blares into it. "KATIE AND SADIE COME ON OUT. YOUR BOYFRIEND TRENT IS HERE!"

The bus shakes slightly and the sound of tripping and frantic bustling can be heard.

Trent's eyes go wide with shock and fear. "What the hell? I thought you had my back, Chris!" he exclaims, turning to glare at the grinning host.

Chris just shrugs. "Welp. I lied. Mwahhhaaa."

Katie and Sadie burst out of the doors in a flurry of pink, black and white and dive tackle Trent to the ground. Both of them begin speaking at the same time, oohing and aahing over the musician.

"Oh my God!"

"It's been so long!"

"We're so glad to see—"

"I could just hug your forev—"

"Ooh! You got a haircut! It's so fluffy and soft! Let me touch—" "No, I wanna touch—"

"Get out of my way!"

As abruptly as the catfight began, it ends. Katie gets up quickly and starts tugging Sadie off Trent.

"Sadie, I do not believe this is how she would have behaved," says Katie, very seriously.

Sadie looks chastened. "You're absolutely right Katie. I apologize for my actions." They both turn to Trent and greet him formally.

"Hello Trent," says Katie, quite regally. "It's a pleasure to see you again."

"Yes, quite," adds Sadie, mimicking her friends composed expression. "It's excellent to see you."

Trent's eyebrows draw together in confusion. "Did I, uh, miss something?"

Sadie smiles coyly. "Maybe us?" she suggests. The girls giggle.

"No, I mean yes, I mean I did miss you two," Trent laughs nervously, "but I mean what's up with the act? Why are you talking that way? And what on earth are you wearing?" He gestures to Katie and Sadie's strange apparel.

They carry pink parasols, are dressed in somewhat old - fashioned clothing, and have their hair up in similar styles.

Katie and Sadie gasp simultaneously.

"Do you not recognize the infallible fashion of Audrey Hepburn?" says a shocked Sadie.

"She is our role model, the pinnacle of perfection that we strive for. You should be ashamed of yourself, not knowing who we represent." Katie chides.

"Erm, okay? She's alright, I guess." The girls look offended. "You two look great, though." He quickly amends.

"We know." The girls chime, and giggle again.

Chris shakes his head. "Hepburn wannabees. I almost miss that annoying singing girl from the last show. Alriggghhttt! Next up we have the nerdiest nerd to ever nerd- HAROLD!"

Nothing happens for a moment. Then a blur of white comes spinning out of the bus. Harold lands catlike on his feet, crouched in a defensive position.

"Woah. Am I back on the show? It's been so long," says Harold.

"Yes, you most certainly are. We haven't see Harold compete since Total Drama: World Tour after a monumental failure in Japan," states Chris.

Harold fist pumps into the air. "Yessss! I have been honing my mad skills in preparation for this moment. I knew I'd be back!"

A contestant in the group that had already exited the bus suddenly grabs Harold's attention.

"Oh, gosh," he gasps happily. "Leshawna?!"

Leshawna waves excitedly. "Hey sugar baby! Long time no see. C'mere and give Leshawna some love."

She holds out her arms with a big smile on her face. Harold rushes into them and she squeezes him fiercely, both of them laughing and sorta teary eyed.

"Ugh, I will never understand that," says Heather, a grossed out look on her face.

"Friendship and love know no bounds, man," says Geoff, then looks downcast. "Well... most friendship and love anyway."

"Hey man, cheer up," Duncan says, lightly punching Geoff in the shoulder. "You and Bridge will work it out. You always do."

Chris obnoxiously yells into the megaphone. "OKAY ENOUGH OF THE SENTIMENTALITY. THIS IS TOTAL DRAMA. NOT MY LITTLE PONY: FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC. THE REST OF YOU GET OUT HERE. GWEN, LIGHTNING, SIERRA, CAMERON, AND DJ, COME ON OUT."

The bus shudders as Lightning pounds down the walkway and then sails out the door. "Shaaaaa - FIRST! Your day just got a whole lot better because Lightning has struck! SHABAM!" he exclaims, and then flexes his muscles.

INT. CONFESSIONAL - LESHAWNA

"Woooweee! Who is that fine man?! Mmmhhhmmm."

(static)

A frantic Sierra soon follows Lightning's dramatic entrance.

"CODY! CODYYYY! WHERE'S MY CODYKINS?!" she yells. Sierra runs over to Chris and hauls him up by his lapels.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY CODY!" she howls into Chris' face. She is enraged, the chords in her neck standing out, and red lines creeping into her eyes.

"Ahhhhhh! CHEF! CHEFCHEFCHEFCHEFFF!" calls Chris frantically. "Cody's fine you maniac! Get off me! CHEFFFFF! Get off! This shirt was just ironed!"

"If you harmed one hair on my Cody baby's head I'll RIP YOURS OFF!" she snarls.

"He's fine I tell you! He's just in the other bus! Now get. Off. ME!" Chris picks up a walkie-talkie and begins frantically speaking into it.

"Someone bring the other bus around. Yes, now. Right now. PRONTO!" he yells urgently, as Sierra's grip on his shirt tightens.

"Get that out of here before this wacko separates my beautiful head from shoulders," he yells at the first driver. "And I like my beautiful head right where it is!"

The bus driver kicks DJ, Cameron, and Gwen out of the bus and begins to pull off to the side. They fly out the door and land in a complaining heap, their arms and legs entangled and flailing.

DJ carefully untangles himself from Gwen and Cameron. "I'm so sorry you guys!" he says concernedly. "Are you hurt?"

Gwen laughs. "Just a few bumps DJ. No biggie. It's so good to see you though!" She reaches out and gives him a hug. DJ immediately reciprocates.

"You too, Gwen." He grins cheerfully. "It's been too long. How have you been?"

"So - so. I was better before I woke up this morning and realized where I was." She grimaces. "God, I never wanted to be on this show again. Yet five years later, here we are again."

"Oh, I feel the same way," Cameron adds. "I wanted to avoid this show forever to ensure my continued existence. C'est la vie I suppose." He receives blank looks from DJ and Gwen. "Uh, sorry," he says, sheepishly. "It's French for "Such is life."

DJ nods in understanding and stands up. "A very wise saying. I'm DJ by the way." DJ gives Cameron a friendly smile and sticks out a hand to help him and Gwen up. Cameron gratefully accepts the help.

"Thank you. And I'm Cameron. Pleasure to make your acquaintance," he replies, giving DJ a firm handshake.

"Wow, Cam. You've certainly gotten taller! Even put a little meat on your bones I see," Gwen says, amazed that Cameron isn't wincing in pain as DJ's large hand grips his.

Cameron blushes. "Oh, thanks for noticing. The wonders a healthy diet and a good regime of exercise will do for you is simply amazing. Just the other day I discovered that green tea-"

"Come onnnnn people!" Chris whines. "This may be a reunion show but we are on a schedule. Not to mention, crazy girl still has a death grip on my shirt! So cut the chatter!"

Chris speaks into the walkie-talkie again.

"Hey! Where are you moronic interns with that other bus? My life is in jeopardy here!"

Chris' brow wrinkles in confusion as frantic chatter comes over the walkie.

"Whataya mean there is no other bus? Of course there's another bus! There are only 19 contestants here! The other 19 are on. The. Other. BUS!" he yells, vexed and slightly hoarse due to Sierra cutting off most of his oxygen.

Increasing indistinguishable, frenzied chattering is heard. "She did WHAT?!" Chris shouts, clearly furious. "THE BUS IS GOING WHERE?! HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN?! WE'RE NOT EVEN 10 MINUTES INTO THE SHOW AND YOU SCREW SOMETHING UP!"

Sierra growls threateningly. Chris gulps and grabs his megaphone.

"Alright everybody listen up!" he blares. "I am canceling your first challenge and replacing it with a new one. Your new challenge is - find the other bus!"

Katie raises her hand. "Pardon me, Mr. McLean. But why is the bus missing?"

"Because Izzy took it." Chris reluctantly reveals.

There is collective groaning from everyone but no one looks even remotely surprised.

"All right, I agree that it was bad of her to steal," acquiesces Katie, "but why not just have someone catch up to the bus and tell Izzy to stop?"

"We already tried that," Chris says. "She won't stop because she's convinced the Mafia is after her. She said she's headed for the Mexican border and no one is going to make her stop."

Duncan's brow creases in confusion. "But... We're on an island." He points out. "There is no Mexican border." Suddenly, realization dawns on his face. "Oh shit."

"Exactly," Chris agrees. "Izzy is just crazy enough to take that bus into the water and try to drive to Mexico across the ocean floor. Well? What are you waiting for? Get MOOOVVIIINGGG." He coughs, his face red from Sierra's continued choking.

"Isn't this the part where you're supposed to divide us into teams?" asks Eva.

"No time! Just go already!" Chris demands impatiently.

The contestants shrug and start loading back into the first bus.

Cameron sighs. "Here we go again."

"Half our contestants are off on their first challenge. Will they be able to save the other half? Or will Izzy drive them to a watery grave? And will Sierra ever let go of my shirt? Find out on the next episode of TOTAL DRAMA: TURNABOUT TURNCOAT!"

(strangled)

"Seriously Sierra. Leggo!"

Author's Note: Okay so it's been forever and about a billion years since I worked on this story. Which I am deeply sorry for. But this time I am forcing myself to actually finish a writing project, just to prove to myself I can do it. I will try to post at least once a month, but I can't promise that. However, I can promise you, though it may take awhile, I WILL finish this story. Also, I apologize for the shortness of this chapter, hopefully the next one will be a little longer. Also, any suggestions for characters, couples, challenges, or just things in general you want to see in the story are greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!