Yes. It's finally here, guys. Finally.

We have been working on this for a very long time.

And yes, I said 'we'. Because I can only take credit for Padfoot and the editing (it was really only spelling, grammar and paragraphing. I changed nothing that was said.)

Moony is eskimoRock!

Wormtail is mixandmingle!

Prongs is that-mad-girl-in-the-corner (formerly MissMarauderette13)!

Go and check them out!

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.

I seriously (siriusly) think I'm dying of boredom here. Apparently it's not a good idea to start quoting literature from that Muggle guy - Shaking Spear? Funny name. Anyway, have been locked in my room for about an hour.

WHY HAS NO-ONE BEEN SENDING LETTERS? Have you all forgotten about the most amazing marauder (obviously me)? I feel hurt.

FROM THE AMAZING PADFOOT!

I'm sorry I couldn't write sooner, I've been really busy with all my homework, and I only just got it finished.

Please stop with the puns, Sirius. They're horrible. It's Shakespeare, anyway. Although, I'm kind of surprised you ever read anything of his, it doesn't seem like your kind of thing. Which one is your favourite?

I hope you're all okay, I've had a breakthrough with the map - I found a spell to show people moving around the school, and I think I'll be able to do it once we get back. Does it sound good? It would certainly mean we got caught less often.

Moony.

P.S - Make sure you get all your homework done - I actually want to see you all this year.

Sirius, your letter just woke me! I was having a very good dream about - erm - someone and you had to wake me! But I too grudgingly admit that I am bored, why has no one sent me letter saying that they wish me to grace them with my presence? Hmm? I feel outraged!

- The most handsome Marauder (Prongs, but I'm sure you already knew that)

Anything to annoy my dear old mum, Moony. And they're all pretty boring.

And my puns are brilliant. You just don't want to admit it.

Pssh. You know I don't care about getting caught. But it sounds cool, anyway.

I'M STILL BORED. And homework makes me even boreder. So give me something INTERESTING to do.

Padfoot (The amazing one)

And Prongsie-pie, we all know who that someone is.

Where's Wormtail got to?

Padfoot (Who is definitely more good-looking than Prongs)

Like I said, Prongs, busy with homework? Something you should know about too? And that girl you dream about? *coughLILYcough*.

You disappoint me, Padfoot. There's me thinking you might actually be able to have a good discussion with me for once... and your puns are awful. They actually cause me physical pain.

You two should really care more about getting caught. Seriously, McGonagall will get Dumbledore involved again, and I can't be doing with his "disappointment" face.

Can you guys not come over until Thursday? Its my "time of the month" tomorrow, and I need a few days to recover.

Moony. (the normal one)

Plus, I think Wormtail is dead. Not good.

Moony.

How can puns cause physical pain? Do they cause you to gouge your eyes out or something?

Dumbledore loves them, Moons. He's just meant to be all headmaster-y.

I could try to escape, but I doubt it... I'll have to come up with some epic escape plan.

Wormtail had better not be dead. He owes me three galleons.

Padfoot (as far from normal as possible - who WANTS to be normal, anyway?)

Something like that, Padfoot. Something like that.

Anyway, of course you don't mind getting sent to Dumbledore - you don't care what anybody thinks. I'm the one supposed to make the most of this massive chance, and he just looks at me all upset.

Have you tried the door? Remember last time when she didn't even lock it, and you ended up in there for 5 hours.

He owes me 5. I'm more concerned about his possible death, to be honest. Anyway, you're the rich one, why do you care?

Moony. (Isn't it ironic that I'm the normal one, and also the one who turns into a giant WOLF every month?)

I CARE - just not about that particular detail.

Don't remind me. But that door is DEFINITELY locked this time. I tried it. And I'm going to try it again now.

...Okay, maybe I didn't try it before. I'LL TRY TO GET TO YOUR HOUSE BY NIGHT-TIME.

Wormtail always owes people money. And I plan on getting disowned one day, so I need all the money I can get.

At least you bother to reply to my letters.

Padfoot (A dog's KIND OF like a wolf)

I am sorry that I have not written sooner, but I have been, uh, busy.

Friends, I am going to give you your money back soon! I promise. If anyone would let me, I also need a place to stay. My family's house isn't exactly, right. Plus, they kicked me out.

The Knight Bus is carrying me right now, so I am well. I can't always reply, because I only have a few stops to send my letters. But, I can reply often! Yay!

Wormtail

RALLY AT MOONY'S HOUSE.

Prongs, come too.

Why did they kick you out? Can I use the same tactic?

Padfoot (I'M ALMOST THERE MOONY)

He just has that "you shouldn't even be here, I'll send you home" look sometimes. You just care about howlers.

You are truly an idiot, Padfoot. Even your mother knows it. I'll see you tonight.

Wormtail, you had better pay us back. I barely have any money as it is. Padfoot, you can just move in with Prongs. I don't even know what I'm going to do when we leave school.

I reply to your letters because I'm nice, and also bored. You may be an idiot, but you're still one of my best mates.

Wormtail, you can come over tonight if you want? My mother won't mind. Padfoot is coming over anyway- I'm not sure about Prongs.

Moony. (Why would you want to be a wolf? It's awful.)

Moony - I'm outside your door. Just thought you should know.

YOU WON'T BE SO BORED WITH ME AROUND. Siriusly. (Don't gouge your eyes out, who will take notes for us then?)

Prongs, are you coming? Or are you deserting us?

Padfoot (Well, at least a dog is better than a rat and a stag!)

I know you're outside my door. I just let you in. You're standing right in front of me.

I'm still bored. Try harder. And what if I just stopped taking notes anyway? What would you do then?

Moony (Stags are pretty cool, if not really girly. I don't think Bambi's coming any time soon.)

Why are you writing me a letter if you're standing right in front of me?

If you stopped taking notes we would all FAIL. And you wouldn't want that, would you?

Padfoot (Who's Bambi?)

It just seems appropriate. Nice to see the owl going straight from my hand and landing on your face. That owl REALLY doesn't like you.

I don't know, it might be pretty funny. Maybe you'll just have to be nicer to me.

Moony (it's a muggle thing, Padfoot. I swear you take Muggle Studies?)

I now have a BRUISE on my nose. It ruins my otherwise PERFECT face.

It wouldn't be funny. And I'm nice to you enough already. Can I have something to eat?

Padfoot (I DO, Moony - I only listen to the things that will annoy my parents)

Oi! If you ladies are quite finished! Open the door for Merlin's sake, it's dark!

You could come and live with me Pads, my parents wouldn't mind - they love kids and you're practically family anyway, let's make it official!

Prongs (and my stag does not resemble Bambi!)

Hello, Prongs. Nice of you to finally turn up.

I think you need to man up, Padfoot. You've always been funny-looking, the owl isn't going to change that. It matches Prongs's now! Although, that was a good punch, I have to say. Lily has a good swing.

My friends are idiots. Just thought I'd put that out there.

I don't even know why you bothered asking if you could eat, Padfoot. The owl hadn't even got to me before you started anyway.

Moony. (You do look like Bambi, Prongs. Maybe that's why Lily doesn't love you. You're too girly.)

I am NOT a lady! And what's the matter, scared of the dark?

Aw, random sentimental moment!

Padfoot (Can someone tell me what Bambi is?)

Bambi is a deer, Padfoot. An extremely girly baby deer.

Idiot.

Moony.

Describes Prongs exactly. And I'm not an idiot.

Wormtail, where are you? How far away are you?

Padfoot (Aw, no postscript?)

I am in no way an extremely girly baby deer. We hold no resemblance.

And that was a low blow Moony.

Below the belt.

Do you want me to get started on one of my speeches about Evans? Hmm?

The extremely manly deer: Prongs.

You are a VERY girly deer. You're secretly Jameela Potter, we all know about it.

You're just upset because you both realise I speak the truth. You'll probably talk about Evans anyway - actually being her friend, I can assure you that she does NOT spend all the time talking about you.

Moony. (Here's a postscript for you, Sirius. You'll always be alone.)

Why Remmy, how did you know? Have you been looking while I shower *pretend blushes* Oh you naughty wolfy, you!

Prongs

There's no such thing as a manly deer. Deer are female.

...Help. I JUST SOUNDED LIKE MOONY.

I'm going to take a shower.

Padfoot (I WON'T BE ALONE. But thanks for the postscript)

There is nothing wrong with sounding like you actually have brain cells, Padfoot.

I wouldn't get in the shower if I were you, apparently I'll be perving on you with my super werewolf senses.

Deliberately not putting a postscript. I hope this owl interrupts your shower.

Moody.

Before you ask, I put Moody because that's how I feel right now. So there.

Oh Merlin! Pads you need help! You're correcting my sentences! HELP! REVERSE IT! IT MIGHT BE CONTAGIOUS!

Prongs (who is not going to breathe any of Moony or Padfoot's air just in case of infection)

I think he might be ill, Prongs. Shall we take him to St. Mungo's?

Moony. (You don't have to worry, there's no chance of you being infected.)

I'm okay. I feel better after that shower.

And Moony, sending that owl was mean. THERE IS NOW OWL POO IN THE SHOWER.

Padfoot (Postscript!)

I can be mean when I want to be. Behind my nerdy exterior lies a horrible, horrible person. And you're cleaning the owl poo out of the shower, or I won't allow you round again.

Moony. (I now refuse to write a proper postscript.)

Moony, you can't keep me out. I WILL ALWAYS BE THERE.

Wormtail, do you remember where Moony's house is? Or have you fallen asleep?

Prongs - I'm NEVER going to correct your sentences again. EVER.

Padfoot (Please, Moony?)

Oh shut up, you idiot. I'll just lock my doors magically, and then you won't be able to get in because you have NO MAGICAL SKILL.

I think he died again.

Moony. (hahahahahaha no.)

Maybe he spontaneously combusted. Don't ask me what that means, I just heard someone say it and it sounded impressive.

I WILL GET SOMEONE ELSE TO DO IT FOR ME.

Padfoot (I'll give you chocolate...)

It means your whole body bursts into flames... Oh Merlin! MOONY! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?!

A distraught Prongs

IT IS CONTAGIOUS THEN.

...I think Moony's ignoring us. And Wormtail's dead.

Padfoot (I miss the lovely postscripts)

Do you think we should make funeral arrangements, but if he did combust there would only be ashes, saves money on cremation, though, I guess.

Do you think daisies or buttercups?

a solemn Prongs

Buttercups. Wormtail always liked those.

Padfoot (I really do miss the lovely postscripts)

I needed some sane conversation, so I was talking to Lily. Before you ask, Prongs, she said nothing about you.

It isn't contagious. You're just idiots. Although it's quite amusing to let you think you are on fire.

I WILL WRITE A MILLION POSTSCRIPTS IF I GET CHOCOLATE.

Moony (The chocolate loving one.)

I WILL GET YOU CHOCOLATE THEN.

Daisies or buttercups for Wormtail's funeral?

Padfoot (The one who knows how to manipulate Moony)

I'm going to go with buttercups, they're slightly more manly. I think Wormy would appreciate it.

I WANT CHOCOLATE TOO!

A hungry Stag.

You only get chocolate if you write postscripts.

We'll have the funeral tomorrow if Moony feels up to it. (SEE? I CAN ACTUALLY BE A NICE PERSON!)

Padfoot (Hello! My name is Bob, and I'll be your postscript for today)

I'm going to have to agree with you guys, although I thought prongs would want lilies.

Moony. (Waiting for his chocolate)

Ah! I am not dead! Don't bury me alive! Then I really will die!

Wormtail (I'll take the buttercups anyway!)

WORMTAIL IS ALIVE!

You can have the buttercups when you DO die, Wormtail. And that might be pretty soon if you don't give my money back quickly.

Moony, I have to BUY chocolate before I can give it to you.

Padfoot (The one who actually CARES about postscripts)

INDEED HE IS! MAY WE ALL REJOICE!

You know, I'm pretty cheerful for the day after a full moon. I guess it's your mental influence, Padfoot.

Lets not threaten Wormtail with death now, please. I'm just happy that he IS alive, even if he didn't turn up at all last night. He can keep the money for a bit, he's obviously having a hard time.

Go and buy the chocolate, Padfoot! Come on! I need it! You know I need it the day after a full moon! I'm writing many postscripts!

Moony (the one who cares about postscripts if there's chocolate involved.)

See, I AM useful!

...I will get that money someday. I will.

Alright, alright! I'll send you some because, AND THIS IS REALLY BAD, I have to go home. Andy said she was going to come over, and I'm quite excited as to what's going to happen.

Padfoot (The one who comes up with the subjects for the postscripts)

I don't really think your useful skill can be put on a job application, Padfoot. "Good with animals, a hard worker, and great at cheering up his best friend the werewolf after a particularly difficult transformation."

...I know you'll get the money, Pads. Just give him a little time, alright?

Yes for chocolate! But I don't want you to go. I would come with you, but for obvious anti-movement reasons...say hello to little Nymphie for me, yeah?

Moony (The one who doesn't really like the postscripts.)

Why would I want to write out an job application in the first place? The career advisor person said that I would be in Azkaban before I had to worry about getting a job. I'm not quite sure which is worse, to be honest.

You may notice my lack of capital letters. It might be because I'm bored again. And this time, I did actually check the door was locked. It most certainly is. I'll try to get your message to Nymphie, though.

Padfoot (The one feels sorry for the postscripts now Moony has insulted them)

I thought you wanted to be an auror though? I'm sure you need a job application to do that.

I think the careers advisor might be onto something with Azkaban. At least she gave you her opinion, I didn't even get an appointment. Apparently, she refused to see me.

Why are you in your room this time? And please do, she's a cute little kid.

Did you get to speak to Andy before you got locked up?

Oh, thank you for the chocolate, by the way.

Moony. (I'm sorry. I'll apologise to the postscripts. I'm really very sorry, Mr Postscript.)

...I suppose you're right. WHY MUST LOGIC ALWAYS BE THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE?

Well - it might be something to do with the fact I ran off without warning them yesterday. Yeah, I managed to speak to Andy - if I don't manage to see Nymphie, she'll say hello for me for you.

YOU'RE WELCOME!

Padfoot (The postscripts are feeling slightly better)

Because logic is what normal people exist on, Padfoot. I'm sorry, but that's just the way of the world.

I understand. Have you tried the window? I think you left the ladder there last time you made a rescue escape. Although, your mother might have moved it.

I'm glad. Andy's always been nice to me - I haven't seen her in a while.

Moony (I'm glad. You can be happier now.)

I finished all the chocolate.

Now what am I supposed to do?

Moony. (the bored one.)

I DON'T WISH TO BE NORMAL, THEN.

The ladder's gone. I'll think I'll just be stuck here FOREVER. Tell Dumbledore why I'm not in at the start of the year.

Andy says you're welcome around their house anytime you want, Moons.

Go and serenade a cat or something.

Padfoot (The one even more bored than Moony)

I think you lost the whole "normal" battle a long time ago, to be honest.

Just let your mother cool down for a while, and she'll let you out. Anyway, I forgot to ask. How is Andy even at your house? I thought your mother and father didn't speak to her after the whole issue with her marrying Ted and getting disinherited?

I might just live there from now on. At least Nymphie loves me. Or just my large supply of chocolate frogs. At least, her hair goes pink. I think that means she loves me.

I don't even like cats! Horrible creatures.

Moony. (I highly doubt that.)

I DON'T WANT TO WAIT. And I don't think she ever calms down. Ever.

As for Andy - well, she just kind of wanted to. You can't really keep her out, and she did what I call a 'Sirius' and decided to annoy them.

Aw, she does love you. It's only gone as far as purple for me. Never mind - purple's a good colour.

What? MOONY doesn't like something?

Padfoot (Have you ever been locked in a room by my mother?)

You'll be out by tonight, honestly. Regulus will convince her, he usually does. If not, I'll come and rescue you.

I have to admit, I'm kind of surprised I cant hear your mother's screams from here. She really hates Andy.

I'm happy now! Its kind of sad though, the only person who loves me is 3 years old.

Yes! Cats are vile!

Moony (No, but I've been locked in a room by you many times, I know how it feels.)

Hey Pads, want me to come on my broom? You can stay with me if you want to?

I can give Andy a lift if she needs a quick exit.

And Moony, am I detecting a slight crush? Aw, Moony's crushing on Pad's kid cousin.

Prongs (who feels left out because he didn't receive chocolate)

My house is also open. Of course, I can't really cook and Prongs's mum cooks the best food I've ever tasted, so its not really a hard decision.

JAMES! Nymphadora is THREE YEARS OLD! That is not only disgusting, but also really quite creepy. Plus, she's related to Sirius, so she must have some genetic defects in there somewhere. Hey, at least he wasn't made her godfather. Can you imagine?

Moony. (I would share with you, but it's chocolate. You have plenty of money!)

That would be good Prongs. I'm seriously about to die of boredom.

I'm surprised at that as well, Moony. I'm almost deaf in my right ear.

Moony? WHAT IS THIS? A three-year-old? Siriusly? (DON'T gouge your eyes out)

Padfoot (Prongs, you only get chocolate if you're Moony and being especially mean)

You can come to mine too Moony, my Mum might have a heart attack living with three Marauders, but we need to keep the girl on her toes!

And come on Remus - I can practically feel you blushing through the paper, stranger things have happened. And about the defects - she's a metamorphmagus isn't she? Nothing wrong with it, actually it's pretty cool.

Prongs (but I'm too lazy to walk to the shops and you already have some)

What about me? I can't even get out of bed!

Maybe you should have used that silencio charm again? You know they won't detect the underage magic at your house. Besides, your mum is probably cursing Andy right now, so nobody will notice.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO? Nymphadora is THREE years old!

You sicken me.

Moony. (I'm not being mean, just logical.)

Anyway. I don't have chocolate any more, I ate it all. Now I have nothing.

A very sad Moony.

Sick I may be, blind I am not.

Prongs (logic doesn't even come into the question when chocolate is involved)

You are a horrible, horrible person.

Even if I could come to your house right now, I wouldn't. Of course, it's not possible because I CAN'T MOVE.

Moony. (Logic is always relevant. You're just too stupid to understand that.)

Well, we'll bring the party to you then, you know me Moony - I can party anywhere!

Prongs (Ouch.)

IT SEEMS EVERYONE HAS FORGOTTEN ABOUT MY VERY SAD PREDICAMENT.

Padfoot (Are the postscripts being used as insults now?)

I'm tired, Prongs. Just break Sirius out and then have your party at yours, I'll come along tomorrow.

Moony. (the tired one who just wants to sleep, but just got interrupted by an owl landing on his face.)

I'll come and get you Padfoot, my damsel in distress.

Will you let your hair down for me?

Prongs (I won't send you anymore owls then, grumpy guts)

AM NOT A DAMSEL IN DISTRESS.

And I don't want you climbing up my hair. It was HURT, and it might ruin it!

Padfoot (Don't know what to put here, but I must write something in my lovely postscript!)

Padfoot, Moony once told me that hair is not alive. So I doubt it would run.

And why can't I have buttercups while I'm alive!?

Wormy

PS - can someone send me some cheese? Cheddar, please.

Have you considered it would be weird if we gave you flowers? Just think about it...

Prongs, ARE YOU GOING TO GET ME OUT OR NOT? I'm seriously considering jumping out the window.

Padfoot (WHEN I ACTUALLY GET OUT OF THIS HELL-HOLE. THEN YOU CAN HAVE ALL THE CHEESE YOU WANT)

That's a very good point. I'm not going to do a James and get hexed for giving somebody flowers. I think he still has the bruising.

Are you still there? Wow, your mother is mad! I can come and rescue you if you want, I feel better today.

Moony. (Not bothered with cheese, really. Although, more chocolate would be nice...)

I don't care WHO DOES IT or HOW IT IS DONE, just GET ME OUT OF HERE.

Padfoot (ONCE I GET OUT OF HERE, chocolate will reign)

Don't worry Padfoot! I (might! You won't give me cheese! I haven't had any since LAST OCTOBER!) will save you!

Then Moony will have chocolate! And be non-grumpy and (really annoying no offence). I will be able to read his letters without feeling like he is being too smart-alecky!

Wormtail (on my way Padfoot! Maybe. Never tell!)

I am not annoying! I can't understand why you'd say that! I'm not a smart-aleck either, I just point out when you make a mistake so that you don't end up making it again in the future.

Moony. (Oh, and I'm not grumpy either. Much.)

Still waiting...

...Just keep telling yourself that, Moons. Whatever makes you sleep at night.

Padfoot (I'm bored.)

If I'm so annoying and smart-aleck-like, then you obviously won't WANT me to rescue you. I might annoy you too much.

I'm not kidding myself. I'm only trying to help, you know.

Moony. (you're certainly going to stay that way.)

Okay Moons, calm down. Forget I ever said anything.

JUST RESCUE ME.

Padfoot (Harsh.)

I'm coming to get you now. You can stay at mine for a while if you want.

ONLY if you say you don't agree with all the insults.

Moony. (You insulted me!)

The next chapter should be up in, like, five minutes.

Please review! And thank you to that-mad-girl-in-the-corner, mixandmingle, and eskimoRock! Sorry, I'm slightly hyper.