"No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever" Francois Mocuriac (1885-1970) -1952 Nobel Prize for Literature…

The evening's a success on many levels; all the guests are having a lovely time and Ermias is the life of the party. Everyone's asked Jane her plans throughout the course of the evening and she's been masterful in her evasiveness. When Halim gets a chance he takes Agent Morrissey aside.

"Jane doesn't seem in a very good place Agent Morrissey. You did show her the video didn't you?"

"Yeah and I told her it was a clean shoot; that neither we nor the Eritrean or Australian Governments had any issues with her actions" Morrissey explains.

"I do not understand then, Doctor Isles seems to be coping with things very well. I had thought that she had not taken the news positively when she had not tried to contact Ermias" Halim expresses.

"Halim you saw how Doctor Isles reacted when you guys walked in; she didn't know Ermias was alive. She looked like she'd seen a ghost."

"How is that possible, Jane mentions it on the recording" Halim responds.

"Doctor Isles hasn't seen it" Morrissey explains. "Jane had us promise that Maura not see it. Jane wanted Maura told that Ian died trying to save her."

"But Agent Morrissey, this is a terrible outcome. Can you not see that it is a cancer on Jane" Halim is full of concern.

"I can see Halim but I'm powerless to do anything about it. Look, those girls are such amazing friends; at some point I know Jane will talk about everything that happened over there and I'm pretty sure when she does; she'll talk to Doctor Isles."

"Ah yes but given the circumstances, will Doctor Isles be in a position to be the friend Jane will need Agent Morrissey." They both shake their heads in concern as a very tired little boy struggles over to see what Halim is up too.

It's Sunday afternoon. Maura is relaxing reading a medical journal. The party had been pleasant even if it hadn't achieved what Angela had hoped. Jane had stayed the evening and she, Angela and Jane had cleaned the place this morning before they both left. Jane was catching up on domestic duties and Angela was at a church function.

Maura was feeling different today. Seeing Ermias had taken her recovery to a higher level. Maura knows its the neurotransmission of Dopamine but her emotional brain is winning over her scientific one and that doesn't happen very often. No, Maura's emotional brain is telling her a little piece of her heart softened and opened at seeing her little friend. She shakes her head and smiles then forces herself to concentrate on what she's reading 'A Spiritual Autopsy of Science and Religion'.

Moments later there is a knock on Maura's door. She puts down her iPad and goes to see who's there. "Halim, this is a nice surprise; please come in." Maura looks behind him as he enters. "Is Ermias with you" she asks.

"No Doctor Isles, he is in the hospital from today. I am on my way to visit him but I wanted to speak to you first."

"Of course; can I get you anything Halim?"

"No thank you Doctor Isles." They sit in Maura's lounge room. Halim continues. "Doctor Isles I am very concerned for Jane" he explains.

"So am I; Halim it was you that was her government guide wasn't it" Maura leads. All of a sudden she's hoping Halim might be able to help her get through to Jane.

"That is not important and not why I am here" Halim explains. He continues "I have the utmost respect for you and Jane Doctor Isles, you are both amazing women."

Maura smiles "thank you Halim."

"Jane cares for you very much which is why she is keeping the truth from you" Maura's serotonin kicks into overdrive and her anxiety levels escalate rapidly.

"What are you talking about Halim; what haven't I been told?"

Halim hands Maura a DVD. "It is with a heavy heart and much trepidation that I give you this Doctor Isles. I believe it will be sad and shocking for you. You may not forgive Jane but you will know why she has such a heavy heart. Please try to remember that she kept this from you to protect you. It is just that I am concerned that it is hurting her very much."

"What is it" Maura asks her voice low and concerned.

"It is a recording of all the time you and Doctor Faulkner are in the Islamiyah of Allah bunker. It also shows everything that Jane had to do to rescue you" Halim explains. "Again I warn you it is graphic and shocking. I do not suggest you watch this alone."

Maura is shaking when she takes the disc from Halim. "I hope and pray I am doing the right thing Doctor Isles; I hope you will form the conclusion that I have. You have a very special friend; few in life are so blessed. Good day."

Maura walks Halim to her door. After he leaves she grabs her lap top from her brief case and takes it and the DVD to her bedroom. She doesn't hesitate; she sets everything up, turns the lap top on, puts the DVD in and presses play.

What Maura sees is an edited version of a video surveillance that was filmed throughout the IOA bunker. It starts with Ian asking them to kidnap Maura. She can't believe it. She replays the scene three times. She stops the video. Maura lies back on her bed. Ian had betrayed her. He had handed her over to this band of terrorists and then come home and made love to her. The thought causes Maura to race to her bathroom; she only just makes it as she regurgitates everything in her stomach. When her body settles she leans against the bathroom sink looking at her image in the mirror. Her pallor is grey. Maura rinses her mouth and her face and goes back to her room.

Maura starts the DVD again and watches in total disbelief. She watches and listens to footage of herself in the cell where she was held. She hears herself speaking. 'Jane you said to think of this place and you would know; please Jane I remember.'

Maura stops the DVD again. She remembers. 'Suddenly she was thinking about the wedding differently. It was without doubt the greatest gift, the greatest act of generosity ever bestowed on her. Jane gave it unconditionally without expecting anything in return. Her parents had given her the official parties exactly by the rules, but Jane had remembered her dreams. Without having to ask a single question Jane had organised the best day of Maura's life. Maura felt a steely resolve come over her. She was somehow going to make it out of this. Maura was determined to make sure Jane knew just how much her effort meant to her.'

Maura starts the DVD again. It shows Jane entering the building. Maura watches Jane break into the bunkers communications center. She gasps as she see's blood and flesh explode from Jane's leg. She watches Jane acknowledge Ian and kick a gun towards him. She watches Jane leave and then watches Ian shoot a man in cold blood. She watches Jane return. She listens to the exchange of words between Ian and Jane. She hears Ian threaten to kill her. She watches him fire at Jane and her arm explode. She sees Jane return fire and Ian fall to the ground.

Maura is shaking violently. She listens to Jane over Ian's body. She witnesses Jane's compassion for the computer engineers. The next scene is in Maura's cell. Jane's found her and is trying to get her out. Maura doesn't recognise herself. She hears Jane tell her about Ermias and she sees the pain on Jane's face as she assists Maura to the exit of the building. The DVD stops. Maura just sits there; feeling ill and shaken to the core.

Maura doesn't know how long she's been sitting there when she hears Angela come in. She quickly packs up the lap top and hides the DVD. She tidies her appearance and goes out to say hello. She stops dead in her tracks when she sees that Jane's with her. "Hey Maura, Ma needed a lift so we thought we'd whip a light meal; have you eaten" Jane inquires.

Maura's mouth is dry when she goes to speak.

"What is it Maura are you OK, you don't look so good" Jane asks.

"No… No I haven't eaten;" now sounding more positive, "That sounds nice." Maura moves towards them. "Did you have a nice day Angela" she inquires.

Angela replies by telling them both about some woman in the Church group that annoys her. They put together a light meal and enjoy a couple of drinks. When Angela is cleaning up and Jane and Maura are together at the table Jane checks on Maura. "Are you sure you're OK, you've been a little quiet tonight?"

Maura stands and picks up some plates to take over to Angela, as she leaves the table she assures Jane she's fine.

"Well I'm off" Jane announces. "Hey Maura don't forget we're going to see Ermias at the hospital tomorrow I'll pick you up at two."

Maura smiles at Jane, she has to admit its a relief she's leaving. "I haven't forgotten Jane I'll be ready."

When Maura and Jane arrive at the hospital Ermias is overcome with excitement. He has his pictures of Jane and Maura in frames beside his bed, and Halim is sitting beside him. Maura's brought him a stuffed tortoise and Jane's brought him a base-ball. They chat and laugh for a while then Maura asks if she can speak to Halim. "Would you excuse us for a minute Jane" Maura asks.

"Sure, we'll have fun won't we Ermias?"

He laughs with delight as Jane tickles him, "yes Ms. Jane!"

Once outside the ward Maura thanks Halim.

"You're welcome Doctor Isles; are you OK, you look a little pale."

"It was a lot to absorb" Maura explains. "I haven't spoken to Jane yet; but I do understand now why she has held back."

"Doctor Isles I have read about the circumstances of your biological father's arrest. I know of the history and upset it caused your friendship" Halim informs Maura.

"Then you know why I have to handle this very carefully; Jane's afraid I'll hate her."

"Do you?"

"No… No Halim I don't, but I am feeling very fragile at the moment and I don't want to say or do something that Jane will misconstrue. I need to be sure I'm ready and strong enough to be supportive to Jane when I tell her."

"You are a very good person Doctor Isles," Halim smiles at Maura.

"No; no I'm not. I'm a very good scientist. I'm not good with people Halim that's why I work in a morgue. I feel a lot safer being around dead people."

Halim smiles at Maura "Doctor Isles, your friend cares for you, for the person you are. She has known you for some time now; no?"

"Yes, you're right Halim, thank you."

The rest of Maura's week passes slowly. Every time she sees Jane she wonders if its the right time to talk. Each time she holds back. On a positive note Ermias's operation has gone very well and his doctors are very hopeful.

It's Sunday afternoon, the day before Maura starts back as the Chief Medical Examiner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. Maura's really looking forward to it; if for no other reason than to have a distraction from everything else that's going through her mind. Jane is due to call in to pick up the key to her friend's house up at the Vineyard. To be honest Maura's glad Jane's going away for a couple of days. She needs some distance to get perspective and she firmly believes being back at work and totally focused on science will help her do that. The one overwhelming feeling that keeps coming back to Maura though is just how glad she is to have Jane in her life.

When Jane calls in she doesn't stay for long. She's eager to get on the road. She has a bit of a chat to her mother and Maura and then starts to leave. "So hey Maura enjoy your first week back at work."

"Thanks Jane, I hope the weather holds out for you, it's not looking good" Maura responds.

"What do you expect if you go to the coast in the middle of winter" Angela adds.

Jane laughs, "bye Ma" and leaves.

Angela looks at Maura "do you think she'll sort herself out up there?"

"I hope so Angela, I hope so."

Maura's been back at work three days when Cavanaugh calls her into his office. "Great to have you back Doctor Isles."

"It's very nice to be back, Lieutenant."

"So Doc, what do I have to do to get Rizzoli back" Cavanaugh asks.

"I really don't know Lieutenant" Maura explains. "You know what; yes I do. I know I've only been back a couple of days but I need to speak to Jane, she's up at Martha's Vineyard."

"Go; do whatever you have to do Doc, we need Jane back here. I'll cover for you," Cavanaugh stresses.

When Maura arrives at Martha's Vineyard, it's freezing. The sky is grey and sleet is falling. It's being blown sideways from the howling gale cutting across the land and sea. When Maura enters the house the place is freezing. It's evident Jane is staying there but when Maura calls for her she gets no response. She decides to unpack some groceries and get the fire going. Hopefully Jane will be back shortly.

After half an hour and no sign of Jane, Maura decides to check the upstairs bedrooms. She finds the room Jane's chosen and the mess of the unmade bed suggests Jane's not sleeping very well. She enters the other room and pops her overnight bag down. She opens the drapes and scans the angry beach. In the distance she spots Jane sitting there; her hair being tossed about wildly in the wind.

Maura changes into her designer jeans, pulls on a pure wool polo jumper and wraps herself in her three-quarter length leather jacket. She pulls on her boots and grabs her hat and gloves. From the linen press she grabs a thick woolen blanket. When she walks outside the weather hits her like a knife.

It takes Maura fifteen minutes to reach Jane. She walks up and stands behind her; Jane has no idea she's there. "Hello Jane" Maura half shouts over the wind. Jane nearly jumps out of her skin.

"What the hell Maura; you scared me."

Maura unfolds the blanket and wraps it around Jane pulling it up over her head.

"Maura, what are you doing!"

"Jane, it's freezing." Jane settles and hugs the blanket to herself. Maura sits on the beach beside her.

"Where were you just now" Maura asks.

Jane is staring out at the raging sea. "Looking at the same ocean but from the Bahamas'" Jane answers flatly.

"Well technically it wouldn't be the same…"

Jane turns and stares at Maura, "What are you doing here?"

"Jane…" Maura hesitates. "Jane I remembered what had been nagging at me from Eritrea."

"Maura don't; please."

"Do you know your life does flash before your eyes when you're faced with dying?"

"It didn't for me when I shot myself that time" Jane responds.

"Really, that's very interesting; maybe it's because I had more time. I must read the research on this."

"Maura what's your point?" Jane says with a sense of dread.

"My point; oh, yes." Maura gathers her thoughts. "Well my point is that during that process something occurred to me; something that was very profound to me."

"Here we go" Jane can't help but smile. "OK Maura I'm listening spit it out."

"Jane everyone takes from me. Think about it. My biological parents made decisions for me without ever considering how it might play out for me. Paddy came back into my life for selfish reasons; he wasn't concerned with how it would impact on me. Hope and Kailin aren't thinking about how I feel or what I've been through, they're just shutting me out. My adoptive parents took me in, only to send me away to boarding school. What about Ian, he wasn't thinking of my needs when we got married only his own."

Jane looks at her friend with compassion "Maura that's life, most of us are in it for what's in it for us. You are the most generous and selfless person I know. Sometimes I wish you would fight for what you want more; you know."

"Not you Jane."

"What?"

"That's what I remembered. What you did for me on my wedding day was the most generous and thoughtful gift anyone has ever given me. You listen to me Jane, even when you make fun of me; you really listen. You knew my dreams and you went out of your way to help them come true and I needed to survive Eritrea to tell you this."

Jane takes in what Maura's saying and then laughs. "If that's what kept you going; you've got to get a life girlfriend!"

Maura laughs, she knows Jane's heard her and her reaction is exactly what she wanted from her best friend. They sit in silence for moment.

"Jane I remembered what you said on the mountain that day; that all I had to do was think of that moment and you'd know. I did think about it. I thought about it a lot while I was locked up."

"I know Maura, I felt it."

With that Maura reaches to Jane and pulls open the blanket. She slides up closer to Jane and tries to wrap some of the blanket around her.

"What the hell are you doing Maura?"

"It's not what you think Jane; I'm freezing."

Jane cracks up laughing, "come on let's go back to the house, I'll get a fire going."

As they stand Jane shares the blanket with Maura and they trundle back.

While Jane has a hot shower Maura prepares some snacks. She opens a bottle of red wine and goes and sits on one of the lounge chairs in front of the fire. She's terrified of what to say next; she hopes Jane brings it up. When Jane comes down she wraps herself up on the three seater lounge. She chooses the corner closes to the chair Maura's in. She grabs a marsh mellow and picks up her glass of wine.

"So how can you be back at work three days and get time off to come here" Jane asks.

"Lieutenant Cavanaugh wants me to talk you into coming back to work Jane."

Jane looks at Maura struggling to say something. "I… I don't think I can Maura."

"Why Jane; you've always said it's who you are. It's what you do. What's changed?"

Jane has a sip of her wine, when she's finished she looks into her glass. "Even if I wanted to talk about it Maura, I can't talk about it with you; I'm sorry."

"That's OK, but will you talk about it with someone."

"Yeah right; you're the only person I've ever talked to about… well about stuff."

Maura takes a deep breath. "Jane, I know about Ian."

"You know what about Ian?" Jane has become defensive and Maura is struggling with how to take it forward.

"Ah, well I know everything about Ian; how he betrayed me and… and well how he really died."

"You do" Jane's surprised and apprehensive; she's not sure what's coming next. "How long have you known."

"Since the Sunday after my party, Halim brought me a copy of the Video Surveillance."

"My God, Maura. I thought you looked sick that day. Did you watch that thing on your own?"

Maura just looks at Jane and nods her head.

"Oh God Maura, I'm so sorry. Why didn't you say something sooner?"

"Because I felt like our friendship depended on how well I dealt with it Jane."

"Oh Maura" Jane says with concern.

"When things happened with Paddy, they happened in the heat of the moment and I wasn't able to deal with it. Well look how that turned out. I just wanted to be sure I could talk to you about Ian knowing with some certainty how I feel about it; about all of it!"

"And" Jane asks with hesitation.

"Jane I would never wish anyone dead" Jane winces at Maura's comment. "No Jane wait; having seen all the facts, you did the right thing. I might not be here now, if you hadn't done what you did."

"Maura do you know I have sniper qualifications as a shooter."

"No I didn't."

"I could have gone into the 'Tactical Response Unit' when I left the academy; as a sniper."

"Oh" is all Maura can say; she's not sure where the conversation is going.

"I didn't because I didn't think I was a killer. I wanted to go to homicide to keep killers off the streets."

Maura just listens, Jane is working up to something and she knows she'll get there when she's ready. At least she's talking.

"Did you know I've killed eleven people since I've been a cop?"

"All bad people Jane" Maura reinforces.

Jane looks at Maura, "you once told me we're all a mix of good and bad. The thing is, in every case where I've had to kill it's been a clean hit through the heart; I try to take comfort in the fact that when I have to kill they don't suffer."

Maura just listens.

"There are two shootings that haunt me. Your father's and Ian's" Jane explains.

"Maura I didn't shoot to kill Paddy. I could have and probably should have. He had shot a Federal Agent and was pointing his weapon at me and Frost; but I didn't. When I took aim, I shot him in the side. I knew it would drop him and that I'd be able to secure his weapon. I never thought that he'd fall through that balustrade Maura; honestly!" Jane is struggling with her emotions; it's clearly an effort for her to be saying this.

"Why haven't you ever told me this" Maura's shocked.

"At first because I was angry with the way you reacted when I felt I'd done the right thing by you. Later, it no longer seemed important. We'd gotten past it and were OK."

"And you didn't tell me about Ian because you thought I'd hate you?"

"It did cross my mind Maura but that's not why I didn't want you to know about Ian. If having you hate me had been the right thing to do as far as you and Ian was concerned I would have done it."

"I don't understand?"

"I wanted you to have him. He made you so happy Maura; I wanted you to have the happy memories."

"It was all a lie Jane."

"I didn't want you to know that; once he was dead I didn't think you needed to know" Jane explains and Maura takes that all in.

"So what's wrong Jane?"

"Of all the people I've killed, even Hoyt I genuinely believed I was doing my job. I wasn't on the job when I killed Ian; I could have easily shot to disarm him and brought him home. The thing is I didn't want to. I murdered Ian, Maura. I didn't shoot him through the heart so he wouldn't suffer. I took dead aim right between his eyes and I wished him dead before I pulled that trigger. That's premeditated murder."

"Oh Jane" Maura is fighting tears. "I'm so sorry."

"The pure hate that was in me for what he did to you turned me into a murderer. How can I go back to being a cop when I know that person's inside of me?"

Jane takes along sip of her wine. Maura leans across and takes her hand.

"You listen to me Jane, the fact that you are processing this the way you are tells me that's exactly why you should go back to being a cop. You think about your actions, you analyse your decisions and you care about the outcomes for everyone involved in all situations. That takes a remarkable person."

Jane looks at Maura but doesn't say anything.

"Jane you know how I feel about killing; the same way you do. That's why I chose to do what I do but if I'd been in your shoes, I know I would have felt the same way and done the same thing."

"I don't know Maura?"

"Jane you're being too hard on yourself. They were extenuating circumstances and a terrible life threatening situation. Don't judge yourself on how you felt or what you did in that situation. It's abstract; remind yourself of what you do and who you are in our everyday world. Boston needs that person."

Jane looks at Maura "When did you get so perceptive Doctor Isles?" They both smile.

"I guess too much time locked up in a dark cell will do that to you."

Jane looks at Maura seriously, "Are you OK?"

"Yeah I am and you?"

Jane smiles "thanks to you, I think I will be."

Maura and Jane sit and chat for long into the evening. At some point they shift into a comfortable silence and sit and finish the wine while soaking up the warmth of the fire. When Maura goes to say something she looks over at Jane who is fast asleep. She smiles, gets up and grabs the blanket. She puts it over Jane and kisses her forehead then heads up stairs to bed.

Six weeks have passed since Maura convinced Jane to go back to her job at Boston Homicide. In the last week she's been allowed off light duties and is fully back into her role with Korsack and Frost. They are delighted to have her back too. Cavanaugh couldn't be happier, his winning team, including Doctor Isles is back and Boston is a safer place because of them.

It's a Saturday afternoon and Angela and Maura are cooking. Constance is calling in this week. Jane is lying on the couch watching a game.

"Did Jane go on a date with Agent Morrissey last night" Angela asks Maura.

"Jane's not calling it a date; but they went out to dinner" Maura says cheekily.

Jane voice comes across the room "I can hear you two; stop talking about me."

Maura and Angela laugh. Just then Jane's phone starts to ring. "Rizzoli" she answers.

Maura's phone starts ringing to, "Doctor Isles!"

Before they both hang up they indicate they are on their way. Jane pulls herself up off the lounge and looks at Maura. "Come on murder calls."

Maura is taking off her apron; "Jane I have to change."

"You've got five minutes, get going."

"You have to change too; you're not changing in the car. Go and get your clothes and change in the bathroom like a normal person."

"OK… OK!"

Jane has changed and is standing by her mother as she potters waiting in frustration for Maura.

When Maura joins them she has on a classic suit; high heels and is perfectly made up.

"For crying out loud Maura we're going to a crime scene not the Boston Pops" Jane exclaims.

Maura looks confused "what?"

"Never mind, let's go. Bye Ma" Jane kisses her mother.

"Bye Angela" Maura adds.

"Good bye girls, have fun and stay safe" Angela shouts as the girls are already out the door.

Angela chuckles "my girls are back!"

THE END

Authors notes:

Thank you to everyone who has come on this journey with me. I'm quite proud of this story but I'm still keen to know your thoughts and feelings on this piece; good or bad, if you feel so inclined.