Hey guys,
I thought I'd get out of my comfort zone a little bit. This is a little something I wrote in my philosophy class today (I seem to always be writing instead of listening to the teacher in that class) so I hope you'll like it.

Sam and Dean know it's there. Have known for years, but they ignore it or at least pretend they are. So what if they are always standing just a little too close than normal, even for brothers; so what if they always find a way to touch each other the minute they are sitting (two knees or two elbows "accidently" brushing against one another).

It's clear to anyone who takes the time to look that there is something there. But the thing is, nobody takes the time to look anymore, not even those two boys. Because that's what they are: boys. Two lost boys. But even though they always seem so close, they have never dared to cross that line; the line that keeps them from being lovers instead of brothers. When things get bad, so bad that they just know they are going to give in, they deal with it.

They stop to the first bar they can find. Dean always manage to find some pretty girl – the one that doesn't have anything that can remind him of Sam – and fuck the tension out in the bathroom. Sam drinks… One, two or even three beers more than usual, more than he can actually take. The idea of his big brother fucking a nameless girl senseless is enough to make him forget all of his tension. They had tried the opposite once or twice, but it just wasn't working out. Sam can't fuck a stranger. He needs feelings. Jessica is the only one he has slept with and even back then, the thoughts of Dean always found a way inside his head.

Dean has tried to pick up a guy once… But in the bathroom he hadn't been able to get it up. Sam is the only guy he can think of that way. He doesn't reveal that little fact to Sam, but he's damn glad when his little brother ask him not to pick up guys anymore, that it's too hard. Girls are one thing, but men are another completely. It's more hurtful than Sam can take.

There's one time they almost give in. Sam runs as fast and as far as he can. He runs to Stanford. He meets Jessica and gets involve with her in a foolish attempt to forget all about Dean. Well, obviously that hasn't worked out.

The hunt doesn't start in a weird way or at least not any weirder than usual. People died in weird circumstances that could be attributed to something supernatural and they investigate it. They end up kidnapped, beaten up, tortured and basically every other game plan you can find in a Supernatural's evil book.

They get out alive, but it's not the case for everyone. A young man about Sam's age loses his life. His boyfriend is heartbroken. Sam guesses they had the real deal going on. The two of them were kidnapped on their tenth anniversary trip. They had both proposed. Sam looks at Dean. His brother is driving them to the nearest motel. The car is silent, not even the radio is playing like it always is. The case and that death hit way too close to home for the Winchester brothers. It could have been them.

They check in, ignoring the staring of the woman. They get to the room, dropping their bags right by the door. Dean makes his way to the bathroom before turning around.

"Sam, you want to shower first… Sam? Sammy?"

His eyes fall on the bed where Sam is sitting, whispering something he can't quite make out. Dean walks to his brother, slowly lowering himself with a hiss of pain.

"Sammy, what's going on?"

"I want that too." He says, his voice filled with pain.

"That? What are you talking about?"

"What they had. You know, the love, the relationship…"

"Sam…" Dean warns.

The younger man puts his hand at the back of the other's neck. They look at each other and time seems to come to a stop.

"Sam, we can't"

"Says who? Please, Dean… You and… you know… I… I'm tired of running away." Sam pleads.

"We can't do this. You're the only thing I've got in the world. I couldn't stand to lose you." Dean tries to explain.

"You won't. I'll always be there."

"What if you change your mind? What if one day you decide you want to get married, to have kids, a house, a dog…?"

"What if you're the one to change his mind? What if you find a girl that's better than I am?"

"That's never going to happen." Dean says vehemently and suddenly he recognizes it in Sam's eyes; the same insecurity he knows is in his own.

"Then let's stop fighting it." Sam whispers.

And just like that, Dean is kissing him. It's gentle, yet passionate and everything they have always dreamed of. Sam moves, trying to get his body closer to Dean's, but he whimpers in pain. Dean pulls back.

"It's enough for tonight." He says.

Because even though Sam is going to be his lover, Sam is, first and foremost, the little brother he swore to protect no matter the cost. That night, they sleep in the same bed. They don't do anything, but they cuddle; holding each other like their life depends on it and they're happy. For the first time in years, they truly are happy. They know that another time, when they're less battered and bruised they'll be able to connect in a way they had only dreamed before. But tonight, tonight they're just happy to be together.

So, what did you think? Reviews are loved, so please (puppy eyes)

Love, Anne