Joker stared at the shut door in disbelief. Somehow, he found his way back to his hideout as his brain slowly processed what had just happened. Then it suddenly clicked, and he pulled out his gun, firing at random stuff in the room. "She can't talk that way to me!" he shouted to the empty room. "I'm the Joker, dammit! I'm her goddamn boss!"

He stormed into what had been their bedroom and began shooting things that reminded him of Harley. "Respect you, you dumb broad?!" he shouted. "How's this for respect?! How 'bout I put a bullet through your stupid, blonde brain?! That respect enough for you, Harl?!"

When he had run out of bullets, he dropped his gun and stormed into the kitchen, looking in confusion at the oven. "How the hell am I supposed to figure this crap out?!" he shouted, throwing up his hands. "Damn bitch wants me to starve! Well, I ain't gonna starve, you stupid little slut! I'm gonna drag you back here and put you in the oven! Right after dinner!"

He left the hideout, slamming the door and making his way to The Iceberg Lounge, a popular dining spot for Gotham's social elite. The secret, hidden back room was also a popular hangout spot for Gotham's supervillains, since the Penguin, who owned the joint, gave discounts to his fellow criminals.

Joker entered by the back door and found himself in the large, spacious, dimly lit and elegantly decorated room reserved for the crème de la crème of crime. He sat down huffily in the corner and waited for Penguin.

"Joker, what an unexpected surprise," said his host, waddling over and smoking one of his cigarettes. "I would have imagined you wouldn't want to be seen here tonight of all nights."

"Why not?" asked Joker. "Party I'm not invited to?"

"You could say that," agreed Penguin, nodding over to the corner. "Pammie and Harley are having a little celebration anyway."

Joker craned his neck to see the two women he loathed most in the world at the moment laughing and chatting with some of the other supervillains. He immediately reached into his jacket for his gun, but then remembered he had left it at the hideout. "Thought it might be a bit awkward for you to be seen by the ex," continued Penguin, grinning at him. "Word is she chucked you. Is that true?"

Joker forced a smile. "Now does that sound like my little Harley girl, Pengers?"

"No," he agreed. "But then she doesn't look much like your little Harley girl. She looks bright and radiant and much happier. Freer. Like a weight has been lifted from her shoulders. The other men have noticed it too," he said, nodding to the large group of male villains who seemed to be paying unusual attention to Harley.

"Get me a drink, Pengers," growled Joker. "And a steak. Rare. I want to taste blood."

Penguin smiled and left him. Joker folded his arms and watched Harley and Ivy, feeling an uncomfortable emotion bubbling up inside him. It wasn't jealousy – it couldn't be that. He had no reason to be jealous. Harley always came back to him. Always. It was anger at her being like this, stupid and stubborn and flirty. She was only doing it to spite him, and he didn't like being spited. He rose and left suddenly, intending to return with a little surprise for Harley.

"I must say, I thought this day would never come," said Jervis Tetch, aka the Mad Hatter, smiling at Harley. "Quite the frabjous day, callooh, callay."

"You and me both, Tetch," replied Ivy, who hadn't stopped smiling since Harley's rant at the Joker. "But she's finally got some self-respect back, and doesn't it just suit her?"

"Yeah, it really does," agreed Edward Nygma, the Riddler. "You look just beautiful, Harley. So you really dumped Joker, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess I did," she replied. She had smiled at his compliment, but now frowned slightly. "But y'know, just temporarily. Just while we work stuff out."

"It's better than nothing," said Ivy.

"So this means you're single now, Harley?" asked Jonathan Crane, aka the Scarecrow. "Just curious," he added, hastily.

"Yeah, single," replied Harley, her frown deepening at the word. "Just me. Me, myself, little old me…"

She stood up suddenly. "Just heading to the ladies, won't be a moment."

Ivy watched her leave, then excused herself shortly after. She found Harley crying in the bathroom. "Harley?" she asked, gently. "What's wrong?"

"Aw, Red, it's all wrong!" she cried. "I don't feel like myself, not without Mr. J! I don't want to be single! I don't want to be just me! I want to be us! I want to be with him! I need him, Red! I love him!"

"Harley, you're doing so well," said Ivy, hugging her soothingly. "Don't give up now. I promise you it'll get better. The first few days are the hardest, but I know you can do it. And it's worth it, Harley, trust me."

Harley wiped her eyes. "Red? Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, Harley, anything, you know that," she replied.

"Do you ever…get lonely, Red?" she murmured. "Even in a room full of people? Do you ever think that no one there really understands you, or cares about you? Oh yeah, they're being nice and friendly, but they're not the someone you have or…or want to have...who just…gets you. Who just has that special something, that special connection. Who just understands you, and loves you and accepts you for who you are, unconditionally, even though sometimes that means putting up with a lot of crap. That's me and Mr. J."

"You don't need him, Harley," said Ivy, firmly.

Harley shook her head. "Yeah I do, Red," she whispered, equally firmly. "Yeah. I do. I need him. That's what I've discovered, being on my own. I can't be on my own. I'm not complete. There is no I, no me without him. No Harley Quinn without the Joker. He's a part of me, and I don't want to lose that part of me. I'd regret it for the rest of my life. I'd only feel half of myself. I need him to be me."

She wiped her eyes resolutely. "I'm going home."

"No, Harley, you can't give up now!" shouted Ivy.

Harley smiled at her. "You're a sweet kid, Red, and I love you lots," she said, hugging her. "But you just don't get me the way he does. It's ok, I don't need you to. And I'm grateful, I really am, for everything you've done, and everything you've tried to do for me. But this isn't me. This is you, free and independent and flirty, with your pick of men. That's fine if you like that, Red, but it's just not for me. Anymore than my life would be for you. We just need to accept that we're different and not try to change each other. We're best friends – we don't have to be the same."

Ivy sighed. It was useless talking to Harley when she got on these kicks, these philosophical, wise kicks, as she thought them. Ivy thought they were crap, but it was no good telling Harley that. It was no good telling her anything. She was stubborn and unchangable. But that was Harley.

"Do what you want, Harl," she retorted.

"Thanks, Red," said Harley, beaming. They left the toilets and returned to their seats. Ivy had signaled Penguin for the cheque, when suddenly there was a rumbling, and without warning, a chunk of wall exploded as a tank burst into the room.

As the dust settled, the hatch opened and Joker popped out. "Sorry to crash the party!" he laughed.

"You're paying for that, Joker!" shouted Penguin, picking himself up from the rubble.

"That's not service with a smile, Pengers," said Joker, grinning. "Guess that means my meal's on the house! Anyway, I can't stay, I've just come to settle some unfinished business," he growled, his eyes fixing on Harley.

"Puddin'," breathed Harley, gazing at him in adoration.

"I've been thinking a lot about what you said, baby, and you're right," he said, smiling. "You are a supervillainess in your own right, pooh bear. Which also makes you my rival, and I don't tolerate rivals. So I'll just have to get rid of you," he muttered, focusing the tank's gun on her. "And after you, the plant lady, and then Hatter, and Crane and Nygma."

"Why them? You jealous?" asked Harley.

"No, of course not," he snapped, reaching for the trigger.

"You are," she breathed, beaming suddenly. "You're jealous! Oh, puddin', you do love me!" she cried, throwing up her arms in delight.

Joker's finger tightened on the trigger, but he was suddenly knocked backwards. Batman had arrived, following the trail of destruction Joker stealing a tank had left in his wake. Batman lifted him from the driver's seat and threw him out of the tank. Joker hit the floor with a bang.

"Puddin'!" squealed Harley, rushing over to him and cradling him in her lap. Batman dropped down and cuffed Joker and Harley, then went to round up the rest of the room. Needless to say, nobody else in the room was going without a fight, but Harley didn't even notice the chaos around her. She didn't flinch as a bullet impacted on the wall next to her, stroking Joker's hair back, smiling serenely down at him. "Aw, baby, your new suit's got tank grease all over it," she murmured. "You know how hard that stuff is to get out? It's going to take me hours."

"It'll take you even longer to clean up the lair," he replied. "I went on a bit of a rampage, baby, but I was really angry with you, you know."

"Yeah, I know," she murmured. "But it's ok, puddin'. I ain't ever leaving you again."

Joker grinned. "That's my Harley girl," he murmured. She bent down and kissed him, and he returned it, tenderly. "Think you can reach that steak for me, pumpkin?" he asked, nodding at a nearby table. "Daddy's starving."

Harley nodded, managing to grab the plate and a knife and fork with her cuffed hands. She cut up the steak and fed pieces to Joker as they both watched the fight.

"Red, watch out behind you…" shouted Harley, but then cringed. "Ouch, that's gotta hurt," she murmured.

"Twinkle, twinkle little Bat, watch him bash into the Hat," said Joker, pointing and smiling.

Harley giggled. "Good one, puddin'. Hey Crane, you get a Phd in losing, or what?"

Joker chuckled. "You'd think Pengers at least would have an escape route installed for emergencies like this."

"That's why we call him Birdbrain, boss," replied Harley.

"Bats has got this one in the bag," said Joker. "The others just don't stand a chance without us to help them."

"What did you say, puddin'?" she asked, her eyes bright.

"I said the others don't stand a chance without…me to help them," he corrected.

Harley smiled to herself. "Yeah. That's what I thought."

And she kissed him again and leaned against his chest. He put his cuffed arms around her and held her, smiling, until Batman dragged them all back to Arkham Asylum.