A constant ring was all there was. It hurt my ears. A shock. A lurch. The ring carried on. I was numb. This can't be happening. I don't believe it. I won't ever BELIEVE it. There's always supposed to be a happy ending. Why can't my fairy tale continue?

*Beep. Beep. Beep. * I slowly brought my head up. Now there were fast paced, steady beeps. And screaming. Blood curdling, soul shattering screams. "AHHHHHH! SHI- SHIZUOO!" He was so loud. His muscles were tensing. His hands were to his chest, boney fingers gripping his shirt.

"SHIZUO, CALM HIM DOWN! IF YOU DON'T HE'LL GO INTO CARDIAC ARREST!" Shinra was stern and professional.

I looked at Izaya. He was still screaming, and his body was still contorting into horrible looking positions. Suddenly I snapped out of my dazed state. Thoughts came through my mind that he WAS back. He wasn't gone yet. I needed to keep him with me longer. I quickly scooped him into my arms and talked to him through the screams.

"Izaya. Izaya! I'm here, Love. It's ok. Everything's all right. Please stop yelling. Please." Steadily, the screaming turned to loud sobs. "Shhhh. You're ok. I'm here. You're safe." His boney little hands clung to my shirt as if it was the only way to maintain what little life he had left, and he just wailed and cried.

"Shizuo, I don't want to die!" That hit me pretty hard. I didn't want him to be afraid. I didn't want to be afraid. We both were terrified, and that scared me even more.

"Shhh. It'll be ok." He kept crying loudly, and repeated that he didn't want to die yet. I didn't know how he was feeling. I didn't know what he had just experienced. Did he?

After he finally calmed down, I deemed it ok to ask. I grabbed his hand and squeezed it. "Izaya, what happened?"

He sniffled once, "I died. You know what happened." He was still feisty some times, but his voice made it where you couldn't take him seriously.

"No. What happened? What did you see?" He stopped and thought for a minute.

"I saw nothing. Everything was black, and it stayed black until I was suddenly jolted back into consciousness and found myself in an extreme amount of pain." Nothing? What did that mean? I didn't know.

I hugged him close, and softly kissed his lips. "I love you."

I put my lips to his again, and he kissed back gently, "I love you too." I was glad. I had him back. He was breathing, with a beating heart in his chest. It wouldn't last long, though. I doubted he would make it to the end of the week, but I wanted to love him as much as possible in that time.

I let Shinra keep him at his place, but that doesn't mean that I went anywhere. The only times I left the apartment were when I went to get things from my own or if I bought Izaya something. I made sure he had his laptop and all of the things that go with it like the case and cords. I bought him flowers and a new faux fur jacket to wear. He was always very cold, and I wanted him to have some new things even if he wouldn't have them very long.

After that night, he would sleep more often. I woke him up sometimes, but I usually let him sleep. I took it as his body trying to heal. I knew that it was really his body shutting down for good. I didn't want to think about that, though.

I spent my time sitting or lying next to him. I would kiss his forehead. Hold his hand. Whisper in his ear. I would tell him how much he meant to me. How I never really hated him. That I had always loved him but denied it at first. I would tell him stories of my younger years, and would bring up the things we used to do. I would tell him all of these things, and he would sleep through it all. I hoped that even though he slept, he heard me.

It happened later than we all expected. We knew it was coming. We all thought it would be a lot sooner, though.

Izaya Orihara, the love of my life, died for the second and final time two and a half weeks after the first incident. He was awake right before, so he was able to say goodbye. I held his hand and told him that it was ok to go. He kept gasping for air as his lungs starting giving out. The last thing he said was "I love you" even though it took him a minute to get it all out. He died with a pained expression and tears streaming down his face.

I held him and cried for about an hour before Shinra made me let him go. I had to face it that he was gone. Trying to bring him back would just hurt him. He wasn't going to be able to live any longer than he had.

His funeral was short. There weren't many people there either. I held my composure through the whole thing. I took his ashes, in a simple black urn, back to our home. I had decided to stay there instead of moving. It wouldn't be the same without him, but I couldn't leave this place. I put the urn on a table in the living room and moved a photo of him next to it. I wasn't going to sleep well tonight.

Three weeks after his death, I decided that I couldn't take it. I tried to cope. I tried to stay sane. I couldn't do it. I was alone. I wouldn't talk to anyone. They didn't get it. Nothing was right, and I couldn't take it. I wanted to die. I wanted to die and get to him. I needed him. I wanted to die.

I walked through Ikebukuro, looking for a tall, yet accessible, building. I was going to do this. I was going to get to Izaya. I was going to do it.

I found a very large building and somehow managed to get to the roof. I didn't remember how I got there. I looked over the edge, and everyone on the street looked like ants. I was about to jump when I starting coughing. I brought my hand to my mouth and was surprised to feel a warm liquid.

I couldn't believe it. I had just coughed up blood. Even if I hadn't decided to die my own way, I would have died. Looking up at the sky, I laughed. It wasn't a laugh that occurs when something funny happens. It was a laugh that consisted of distraught feelings. I looked back down. Then I jumped. It was over.

I'm coming, Izaya.