Title: Shovels and Knives

Author: Constance Truggle

Fandom: Buffy/Fast and the Furious

Rating: FR13

Pairing: Established Buffy/Dom and Brian/Mia

Summary: Being friends with your brother's girlfriend doesn't make the Shovel Talk any less important.

Disclaimer: Don't own Buffy or Fast and the Furious.

Word Count: 373

Author's Note: A little bonus ficlet for this last day. Also, I had to write it and wanted to share it and it fits the parameters of the challenge.


Dom and Brian were sitting on the porch, each drinking a Corona. Not much was going on that night. No races, no parties, nobody over for dinner. It was a very odd feeling, this peaceful quiet. Then voices filtered out from the open window behind them.

"You know that I like you Buffy. But I feel that I have to say this," Mia's voice came.

"Alright," Buffy answered.

"It's about Dom," Mia began. The guys exchanged looks of bewilderment. "I just want you to know that no matter how much I like you, if you hurt him, I will chop you to pieces with a steak knife then spread little bits of you all over the globe."

There was silence for a moment, the guys still staring at each other but now with eyes as wide as saucers.

"Fair enough," Buffy replied, and her tone was just a bit too even for Brian's liking. "Rather inventive, but too gruesome for me. I think I'll stick with a classic."

Neither Brian nor Dom had ever realized their sisters were so vicious. Well, Brian should have, seeing as Buffy was one of two that were on top of the Slayer food chain.

"If you hurt Brian, you will wake up on fire, then I will beat you to death with a shovel and use that shovel to bury you."

Mia's soft laughter carried through the window to her brother and boyfriend. "I like that one. A classic, you say? One of yours?"

"Nah," Buffy said, and you could hear the grin in her voice. "A cross between Dawn and Willow."

"Let me guess; Dawn wanted to use the shovel?"

Buffy giggled. "Nope! That was Willow. The fire was Dawn."

"Man, Buffy. I love your family!" Mia laughed.

"Yeah. It's hard not to. Of course, it's only fair since I love yours."

Both girls broke into giggles at something the guys couldn't see or understand, and they shared a look of relief. Now that all the threats had been made, things could go back to being easy around their home.

Dom clinked his bottle against Brian's. "Our sisters are crazy bitches."