Note: Well, I know the wait has been long, but it's here. This chapter is extra long, so I think it will make up for it-AND it's the final chapter for SW: The Parody. Please enjoy. Thank you for reading this and reviewing. Your patience is wonderful, and it was a delight to write this!

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"You mean good is gullible." Han muttered, arms crossed over his chest.

He looked positively like some sort of petulant child.

"Han, it's all right." Leia chided him.

"No, it's not. I've just been insulted," He turned to Luke. "You should be insulted too; it's basically saying your naiveté gets you in trouble."

Luke sighed. "Perhaps."

"What!? You're agreeing with this bantha manure?"

"Well, when we went to rescue Leia, I didn't have much of a plan did I. I just wanted to save her from being executed. My optimism got us cornered; it was Leia's quick thinking that saved us."

"And almost got us crushed." Han retorted.

"So you're still bringing up that, Han." There was ire in his wife' voice. "After all these years; I saved our necks, and you know that."

When the family had ended their taunting and playful jabs, they found Lone Starr wedged in a corner between a bunks and a locker.

"Use the Schwartz, Lone Starr, use the Schwartz." Yogurt's disembodied voice advised.

Lone Starr looked up to his unseen mentor. "I can't," he objected. "I lost the ring."

"The ring is bubcus," Yogurt dismissed. "I found it inside a Crackle box; the Schwartz is in you, Lone Starr, it's in you."

"All right, I'll try."

Anakin then opened his mouth and his older sister, shot him a look.

"Don't even think about it."

"It's time to say goodbye to your two best friends," Helmet announced. "And I don't mean your pals in the Winnebago." He pointed his glowing-green ring in the direction of Lone Starr's crotch.

Lone Starr looked over then, and seeing the shaving mirror, he called it to him. He brought it to cover himself in time, deflecting Helmet's laser. The shot bounced back at the helmeted lord and zapped him instead. Helmet let out a painful scream as he stumbled backwards under the onslaught. His large helmet cracked against the glass shielding the self-destruct button.

The males in the room openly winced.

"Who came up with the sick idea of that anyway?" Han groused.

"I guess it's a modified version of Force-choke?" Ben suggested.

"Thank you for pushing the self-destruct button. This ship will self-destruct three minutes." The automated voice announced.

"How is that modified? Wait; did that just say self destruct warning? Are you serious?" Han deadpanned.

"Why is there even a self-destruct button?" Mara asked.

Red-lights flashed off and on in warning as Lone Starr made his daring escape, heading back the way he had come. The alarm could he heard and seen all throughout the ship.

"Would have made blowing up the Death Star easier." Leia added.

Mega Maid/Spaceball I Intr./Bridge

"What's going on?" President Skroob questioned. "Where are we; Paris?"

"Thank you for pushing the self-destruct button. This ship will self-destruct in exactly two minutes and forty-five seconds."

Skroob looked around, clearly agitated by this.

"We've got to stop it." He turned to Sanders. "Is there any way to stop it?"

Sanders turned to him. "I can't; it's irreversible." He then went to the comm panel

"Like my raincoat."

Ben snorted in laughter.

"Attention, this is Colonel Sanders in forward command. Abandon ship; all personnel proceed to escape pods." As Sanders begn to issue his more ridiculous orders, a fast-paced tune started to play. "Evacuate the circus, close down the zoo. Self-destruct has been activated; abandon ship."

Personnel and crew members rushed about, circus people with balloons mingled with officers as they scrambled in a panic to evacuate.

Luke mused, "It's almost like some big giant floating hotel instead of a space station."

Skroob turned to Sanders. "Sanders, Sanders, you've got to help me." He pleaded, grabbing and shaking him in a fright. "I don't know what to do. I can't make decisions—I'm a president."

"Oxy-moron much." Han uttered.

The two grabbed hold of eachother.

"This is your two minutes; this is ship will self-destruct in two minutes."

"Launch all escape pods as soon as they are filled." Sanders hollered.

Eagle 5 Intr.

Elsewhere, the crew of Eagle 5 waited amongst the flashing lights and warning sounds.

"What's going on?" Vespa said, sounding panicked. "Where is he?"

The music started just then:

'SPACEBALLS! Watch out!'

Just then, Lone Starr appeared, exiting the door he'd previously entered. He began to immediately climb the ladder up to the ship.

"Where is he? Vespa shouted.

"Here." Lone Starred said, entering the cockpit. "We've got a minute and forty before the end of the world. Hang on."

'SPACEBALLS! '

Two guards rushed out and fired upon the fire, kneeling so they could aim for the bottom. It was futile though.

"Why are blasters never effective against ships?" Mara inquired sarcastically. "Oh, yeah, because they're blasters!"

Lone Starr: "Full throttle."

Barf: "Full throttle."

Lone Starr: "Going to hyperjets."

Barf: "Going to hyperjets."

The ship rocketed forward, pressing them into their seats. The Winnebago blasted off, heading down the tunnel away, its hyperjets flaring as it made it around the corner.

'If you're living in a bubble and …'

The rest of the family could faintly hear Anakin singing along to the tune, hand tapping against his thigh. They eyed him curiously—he was, however, oblivious.

Spaceball I Intr./Bridge

'….you haven't got a care…'

Sanders was rushing up to an escape pod just then. Skroob followed in, staring into another one.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?" he asked.

The passenger was a man wearing the outfit of a fast-food delivery man, and carrying a box.

"Pizza to go!" He called out, before closing the door and jettisoning the escape pod.

"As in Hut?" Jaina murmured, looking sick all the sudden.

Skroob stared out the portal, shouting wordlessly.

'Then you're gonna be in trouble cause we're gonna steal your air.'

Escape pods were seen jettisoning from the crown on the Mega Maid.

Sanders rushed to various pods, being too late at each one. He approached one only to be knocked on the head by the drum player. He stumbled back stunned.

This time Jacen joined in with Anakin:

'Cause what you got is what we need and all we do is dirty deeds, we're the SPACEBALLS!'

'Watch out! 'Cause we're the SPACEBALLS!'

Just then, an animal was shown creeping up one of the ladders, and the sounds he was making sounded faintly like Chewbacca's. A large woman in a red dress, hat and….a beard was making her way across the deck, toward an escape pod. Just as she was ready to get in, Helmet rushed up to her.

"Hey, hey, that's my escape pod. Who're you!?" He shouted.

The woman (Han wasn't sure anymore), turned to him, hands on her hips.

"I'm the bearded lady," she stated imperiously. "What're you one of the freaks?" As she said this, she used her stomach to shove Helmet out of the way.

He stumbled back allowing the bearded woman time to commandeer the pod. The animal meanwhile was creeping along the wall as if trying to avoid being seen. Helmet banged on the portal. More escape pods jettisoned. Helmet screamed a cruel obscenity at the fleeing woman.

Then it was just the three of them: Sanders, Skroob, and Helmet.

Sanders and Skroob rushed forward, the president leaning forward to see.

"One pod left." He announced. "And three of us," he straightened his jacket. "Well boys it's a very lovely ship, I think you should go down with it."

Just as he was saying this, the animal had made it to the escape pod and was belting himself in.

"Good bye." Skroob bade, waving. He obliviously made his way over to it and got in. When he tried to belt himself in, he found he could not. "What's the matter with this thing?" He looked back and encountered the snarling animal. "Waaaah!" He jumped out, nearly missing the swiping paw.

"How do you miss that?" Ben asked. "I mean, restraints and fur feel way different."

"Isn't it obvious," Jaina said. "He's the president, he doesn't know how to make decisions."

"This ship will self-destruct in twenty seconds. This is your last chance to push the cancellation button." The voice informed them.

"Cancellation button!" Skroob shouted. "Hurry!"

Han objected, "Wait there's a cancellation button now?"

The three of them rushed off sliding down the rails of the stairway and tumbling in a comical fashion. They scrambled up, searching for the elusive button.

"Where is it?" Helmet hollered. "Where is it?"

"It's gotta be here." Sanders announced.

He floundered for a minute before finding it, flipping open a hatch that read 'Cancel Self-Destruct'—and on it had a tag that said….Out of Order.

"Out of order." Helmet shouted once more. "Frack! Even in the future nothing works."

Sanders seemed to scoff in frustration.

Automated Voice: "This ship will self-destruct in exactly ten seconds." The three gathered closely together in fright. "Counting down: ten, nine, eight…"

Eagle 5 made its winding way through the ear canal. Helmet, Skroob meanwhile still clung close together.

"Six."

"Six!?" Skroob said. "What happened to seven?"

"Just kidding." The automated voice seemed to have a funny/mean streak.

The men grimaced in frustration.

Vespa hollered: "There's the other end!" She pointed to the opening of the tunnel. "Faster!"

"Six, five, four.."

The trio on the bridge began counting along, mouthing the final numbers.

"Three, two, one."

They seemed to brace for impact.

"Have a nice day." The voice said genially.

Helmet, Sanders, & Skroob uttered: "Thank you," before squeezing their eyes shut and bracing again.

Eagle 5 then rocketed out of the ear and cleared the gigantic maid. It then self-destructed in a fiery explosion. The heroes had escaped the Death Star…ooops Mega Maid, and were happily celebrating the destruction.

"We did it!" Vespa cheered off screen.

She hugged Barf first then turned to embrace Lone Starr. They still for a moment at the realization as their lips almost touched. Looking temporarily, uncomfortable, he pulled away first.

"We all did it." He amended.

It was finally time to bring the princess back, their mission fulfilled. The Eagle 5 flew for Drudia, the yawning air shield opening to allow it entrance.

Eagle 5 Intr.

Barf and Lone Starr sat in the forward compartment; they were watching something that resembled the HoloNet. The reporter was making some sort of inane reference that seemed to illicit a chuckle from himself.

"On a sadder note," he began, a familiar grotesque visage appearing on the screen. "Pizza the Hut, famed half man half pizza was found dead today in the back of his stretched limo. Evidently the notorious gangster became locked in his car—and ate himself to death."

"Anakin!" Jaina hollered.

"I forgot they mention him."

"Pizza kicked the bucket," Barf announced. "Now we don't have to pay him the million! We can keep it for ourselves."

Lone Starr did not look as happy as Barf though.

"Yeah…"

Drudia/Royal Palace

The Eagle 5 approached the royal castle, circling before it landed. Vespa rushed through the door, arms outstretched to greet her father. They embraced and Roland began to utter muttering of relief of her safety and homecoming. Roland then stepped aside to reveal the sleeping Prince Vallium, he gestured toward the prince.

"And look who's happy to see you also." Roland announced.

The servant, smacked the prince on the shouldering, bidding him to wake.

Vallium upon seeing Vespa, yawned deeply and stood up.

"Well, hello, where've you been?" He asked, obviously oblivious.

Lone Starr of course looked put-off by this reunion.

What occurred next for him was seven kinds of odd. Barf and Lone Starr made their way to dinner in set on a space platform, after dropping off Vespa. They ordered their meal, Barf making a blatant inference toward their waiter, while his tail proceeded to make some gestures of its own. The waitress chastised him and he howled after her, explaining that it 'had a mind of its own'.

Everything seemed to be normal, except for Lone Starr, who seemed sullen—and the impromptu chest explosion and alien dance number. In the end, they ended up leaving without their meal due to the strange occurrences.

Drudia/Church

A marquee sign appeared, like in the beginning,.

It read:

Royal Wedding of Princes Vespa to Prince Vallium

Take Two

Vespa was in her wedding gown, prepared to walk down the ailse once again. She looked preoccupied.

"Five minutes to magic time." A man announced, sounding far more excited than the moment called for.

"Are you all right, my dear?" Her father inquired. "You look a little bit…flighty."

"Don't worry about me father!" Vespa stated, sounding incensed. "I'm completely over him."

"Yeah, right." Han muttered.

He earned a glower from his wife.

Roland didn't look convinced, instead he looked very disconcerted.

"Didn't even stay for the wedding." She scoffed. "Just grabbed his million spacebucks and ran."

Roland turned to her. "He didn't take the million." He corrected her.

"He didn't?" Vespa turned to her father, surprise evident in her voice.

"No, he just took two and forty eight spacebucks for lunch, gas and tolls."

"See that look," Jaina pointed out. "Look like our haughty princess just realized something."

Eagle 5 Intr.

"I still can't believe you turned down the money," Barf bemoaned. "At least we could have stayed for the wedding feast; I'm starving. Have you got anything to eat?"

"Nah," Lone Starr paused. "No, wait a minute," He began to dig in his pocket. "Yogurt gave me that fortune cookie. Here: chow down." He passed it to Barf.

"Wow. Thanks; I'll split it with you."

"No."

"Okay." Barf cracked open the cookie.

A mystical dusting appeared arching and landing behind them in the form of….

"Yogurt!" They said in unison.

"Hello, boys!" Yogurt greeted. "Well, you opened your fortune cookie, so here's your fortune. Lone Starr, you know that medallion that you where around your neck, but you don't know what it is means." Lone Starr extracted the medallion, staring at it. "Well, here's what it means; it's a royal birth certificate, yes." Lone Starr looked to Yogurt amazed. "You father was a king, your mother was a queen, which makes you….a certified prince."

"Oh, what a load of crap." Han complained loudly. "What is this; a fairy tale?"

Lone Starr was looking excited, despite his real counterpart's protests.

"I'm a prince, I'm a prince. " He celebrated. "Which means?"

"Which means," Yogurt continued. "If you hurry there might be a princess in your future. Now, if you wanna get back there before she marries sleeping beauty, there's a special can of fuel in your storage compartment." He paused. "Good luck, boys."

Barf and Lone Starr said good bye to Yogurt and thanked him. Yogurt accepted Lone Starr's thanks, uttering about the Schwartz before disappearing again. Lone Starr instructed Barf to search the storage compartment, and after uttering, "You got it, Your Highness," Barf found it exactly where Yogurt had promised. He picked up the can, revealing the label Liquid Schwartz. Barf held it aloft, like he was doing some sort of commercial.

"Quick, pour it in the emergency tank." Lone Starr said.

Barf did so and sat back, the two watched as a yellow glow bubbled up. "Done," He said, before closing the tanks latch.

"Hang on, Barfo. We're gonna make spacetracks."Lone Starr jerked the wheel, and the Eagle 5 made turned around, creating stardust literraly in the sky.

Planet of Drudia/Wedding Chapel

Princess Vespa and Prince Valium stood before the minister as well as Vespa's father King Roland and a congregation of other nobility. The Minister had a book in his hand, and he had begun to read from it.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered hear…" He paused then amended, looking chagrined. "Again."

Vespa whispered frantically to her father, "Why did you tell me he didn't take the money?"

Prince Valium was standing, trying not to fall asleep, but failing.

"I didn't think it was important." He whispered back just as fiercely.

The Minister stopped, looking at them. "May I continue, please?"

Roland added, "Besides, he asked me not to tell you."

"I guess, Lone Starr is more like you than you think, Flyboy." Leia murmured lovingly.

"Thank you," The Minister said, wearing a false smile, the continued, "To join Princess Vespa and Princess Valium." He stopped, noticing his err. "I'm sorry, it's the hair."

The prince seemed unaffected by this slip up.

This, however, earned a roomful of laughter from the entire family.

"Prince Valium, in the bonds of holy matrimony." He finished.

"I see it all now," Vespa said. "Don't you see he loves me?" She was pleading with her father.

The Minister brought his head up again. "Excuse me, I'm trying to conduct a wedding here which has nothing to do with love. Please be quiet."

This brought a snort from the married couples. "Though there was that one time..." Han started to say. He had been about to mention a particular Hapan prince. However, he looked at Leia, promptly thought better of it and shut up. She patted his leg in a congratulatory manner.

Vespa: "I'm sorry."

Roland: "I'm sorry.

Prince Valium: "I'm sorry, too."

"Don't be sorry, be quiet!"

Vespa, Roland, & Valium: "I'm sorry."

The Minister visibly jumped back.

"….to join Princess Vespa in the bonds of holy..."

He was cut off as the sound of a ship rocketing overhead startled him.

"Moly!"

The audience looked up startled.

"Matrimony." The Minister ground out.

Vespa looked to her father excitedly. "It's him." She announced. "I know it's him. He's come back."

"Just like always." Leia murmured again.

The Solo siblings rolled their eyes.

"That's it." The Minister snapped. "We're going take no more chances; we're going to do the short version."He pointed to the near comatose prince. "Prince Valium, do you take Princess Vespa to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

Valium nodded sleepily. "Uh-uh."

"Princess Vespa, do you take Prince Valium to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"Uh…well I suppose. Oh, I don't know."

"Why is she even considering it if Lone Starr is back?" Jaina asked.

Lone Starr and Barf could be seen entering from the back of the chapel.

"No, she doesn't!" Lone Starr hollered.

"Way to speak for her, Solo." Mara snarked.

He ignored this.

The witnesses got up and Lone Starr dressed in a fine outfit fit for a prince made his way down the aisle. Barf was in tow wearing an equally fine outfit, his fur….curled?

"I look like a tool." Han grumbled.

"Who the **** are you?" The Minister barked.

Lone Starr stopped. "Prince Lone Star." He stated.

"Prince?" Vespa repeated, stunned.

Now, Han was angry. It hadn't been a prince that had won his princess' heart. It had been a scoundrel! Leia, sensing Han's irritation, stroked his arm.

"I just found out. That's what this says," Lone Starr lifted the medallion. "I'm an honest to God prince. Will you marry me?"

"Well, let me think about it," She pushed Valium out of the way. "Yes."

Lone Star walked up the dais, throwing his leg over the railing and stepped up beside Vespa.

"I'm sick of this. I don't care who I marry, but I'm going to marry someone today." He looked to Barf. "Who are you?"

"I'm the best man."

"What's your name?"

"Barf."

"Your full name."

"Barfolomew."

"Are you the one whose getting married?"

"No."

"Then get over there!" He snapped.

This simple exchanged elicited more laughter from them.

By this time, it was clear that the Minister had reached the end of his fuse.

"Okay. Here we go; the short-short version." He looked to Lone Starr. "Do you?"

"Yes."

"Do you?"

"Yes." She said with excitement.

"Good. You're married. Kiss her."

Lone Starr looked to Vespa and whispered, "I love you."

"I love you."

The newlyweds embraced, sealing their marriage with a kiss. The witnesses cheered and off to the side, Barf was trying to contain his tears.

Dot tilted her. "Well," She sniffed. "Goodbye, Virgin Alarm."

The holo ended with the flourish of a score, the Eagle 5 rocketing away with Just Married painted on the rear shield. The credits then began to roll, but not before dispensing with one final message….

MAY THE SCHWARTZ BE WITH YOU

Now, that the holo had come to an end the family began to move around, standing up to stretch.

"Well," Han said slowly. "That was…"

"Different." Luke finished.

"Actually I was going to say crap."

His brother-in-law sighed.

"It wasn't that bad." Leia said with a shrug.

"Even after they maligned Solo?" Mara asked.

"Well, there was some truth." Leia said grinning. "Even if a lot of it was false." She touched her brother's arm. "Sorry about you diminished role, Brother."

"No problem. I've already kiss my sister (be it unknowingly), I think I'll leave it at that."

Han turned to look for his Wookie co-pilot. "Chewie?"

Threepio informed him, "It appears Chewbacca has…taken leave."

"Falcon probably."

"I thought it was pretty good." Ben commented.

"It wasn't terrible," Jaina voiced. "Stupid mostly. Not something I'd watch willingly of course." She eyed her brothers. "I reiterate the humor was bad…even for Jacen."

"You just don't have any concept of humor, Sis."

Jaina opened her mouth to retort.

Luke went to hug his own sister. "We'll be going. Thank you for an.…interesting night."

"Yes, it was." She looked back to her squabbling twins. "Force, help me."

"They're adults; just tell them to beat it."

She laughed.

"I will." She looked upon their family. "Life's certainly never boring, not as exciting as that holo but…"

"It has its fine moments yes." Luke agreed, a twinkle in his eye.

THE END