Part 5

Liv didn't try anything. They entered holding cell number two. Olivia let go of Liv's arm. She immediately dropped to the bed that was more of a metal slab bolted to the wall. She leaned against the wall and tucked her knees against her chest.

Olivia sat in the metal chair in the other corner. They just looked at each other for a while. Or rather they looked just past each other.

Olivia took a deep breath. "What do you want to know?"

"Everything. Nothing. I don't know. I'm so torn. I have all these bits and pieces in my head. Maybe if you tell me what it's like it would help fill in things. But I don't know it I want things filled in. Is it better to forget?"

Olivia shrugged. "I don't want to forget a single second."

"What's being pregnant supposed to be like?" said Liv slowly.

"It's very strange. You have to share you body with this little life that you know nothing about but want so badly to hold. I had terrible morning sickness, which is kind of a misnomer because it was pretty much pregnancy sickness. I lived on crackers and fruit juice for almost six months. I didn't go into Walter's lab for that entire time either because of the smells. It was much better once Etta's decided that I was allowed to eat. Then, it was kind of wonderful. This is the kind of thing you want to hear?"

"Yes. Keep going."

"When she started kicking, that's when it became real. That's when you can say that's my daughter. We found out the sex as soon as we could. Peter and I both wanted to know. I also had all these extra tests at Massive Dynamic so it was kind of hard not to find out. It was amazing, but really hard. I was sick for so much of my pregnancy and I got so big. There was just no way to be comfortable. By the time I reached my due date, I was going stir crazy. I just felt huge and I was so worried about everything. Peter likes to say I put myself into labor by sheer will power." Olivia stopped herself. She was again finding it too easy to talk to Liv.

"I think mine was a little bit different. I was kidnapped, strapped to a bed, and pumped full of drugs. I literally watched my stomach grow in about two hours then gave birth in a Chinese restaurant with the help from my Lincoln and a cab driver named Henry. I would've preferred it your way."

"Henry? I know him. He's a good man. He helped me too in the original timeline. It's partly because of him that Henrietta has her name. It's a small part, but I figured that I liked people named Henry. She's really named after my grandfather."

Liv closed her eyes. "Maybe I had the same thought," she said in a far off voice.

Olivia pressed lips together. She'd said too much. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to—"

Liv shook her head. "It's fine. I asked for this. Keep going."

"What else do you want to know?"

"First day you brought her home."

"We'd only moved into the house a few weeks earlier. Only Etta's room was set up. Nina had hired a cleaning crew as a welcome home present, but most of the rooms were drying paint, boxes and furniture in the wrong place. There was a bunch of people in the house when we got home from the hospital. Everyone helped us unpack the living room. Well, I supervised with Etta in my arms from the couch that was inconveniently in the middle of the room. We all had dinner together and then everyone went home. I remember Peter and I just stood in the kitchen for a while in stock. It was the first time we were really alone with her. We just tag teamed for the next few weeks. We barely left the house. Nina or Walter—Astrid really—brought us anything we needed. It's hard to believe we survived."

"I don't think I even had a crib. Or a room. I live in a one-bedroom apartment. I had Lincoln go buy me a basinet and a car seat so we could come home. He was months earlier than I expected. I'd also been planning for the worst. That I would have the virtus and not be able to have the baby. I was being honest before. I never really thought about being a mother until I suddenly was one."

"I can't image."

Liv shrugged. "Keep going."

Olivia kept talking. She recounted every moment of Etta's first weeks, first months that she could think of. Liv listened intently even though each word seemed like a struggle to hear. Olivia was beginning to talk about Etta's first birthday when Liv suddenly interrupted.

"You must think I'm crazy? Just complete lost my mind," Liv said.

Olivia chose her words carefully. "I think you are someone who is grieving."

"You're too kind to me. How did you let me sit in your kitchen? How can you sit there and tell me stories about your life? I would have pulled the trigger this morning if our positions had been reversed."

Olivia frowned. "What you mean?"

"He was Peter's son. You have to know what that means."

"Of course. Peter told me everything. I'm just surprised you remember."

"Well, I wasn't exactly my best during that mission. I knew it was low and dirty and I did it anyway. I trusted and believed the wrong people."

"How do you know all this?"

"The Suit. Like I said, he made sure I remembered the pain. I was wrong to accept that mission; I was wrong to take it as far as I did; I was wrong to leave. I hurt you, I hurt Peter and I hurt myself. I guess I'm paying for it now."

Olivia wasn't sure, but she thought there might be an apology somewhere in what Liv was saying. Still, she couldn't quite bring herself to say 'this is not your fault,' which is what she knew Liv was hoping to hear. Walter may have cracked the barrier between the two worlds, but it was not Olivia's side who started the war. The war that forced Peter to turn the Machine on and change the timeline. She settled for, "No one deserves to lose a child."

Liv didn't answer. She leaned her head against the wall and looked at the ceiling.

It was at least ten minutes before either of them spoke.

"What's the best part?" asked Liv.

"About being a mother?"

"Yes."

"The way she looks at me and reaches out. Or the way she falls asleep when I hold her. She knows that she's safe and that I love her and will take care of her forever."

Again, Liv didn't answer. She pushed away from the wall and lay down. "I'd really like to get some rest."

"Okay." Olivia got to her feet. She punched a button on the panel beside the door and waited for it to be unlocked. "I am sorry. I really do wish there was some way to get him back. I know Peter feels the same way. We are going to help you get home, if that's what you want."

"Thank you."

The lock buzzed and Olivia pushed it open. She shoved it closed behind her and took a few steps away from the little window. The holding cells were at the end of a short hallway. It was a dead end, giving anyone who tried to escape only one direction. It also meant that the short hallway could not be seen from the rest of office. Olivia leaned against the wall and was, for a moment, hidden from view.

She felt like she was going to be sick. She sucked in a few deep breathes in an attempt to settle her stomach. The thoughts churned in her head just like her stomach. It was like an emotional overload and her body wanted to expel it. Liv here. Liv remembered. Liv lost a son she didn't know she had.

There were a lot of things that had happened between herself and Liv and Liv and Peter that Olivia had been able to push aside as she regained her memories. It wasn't this Liv's fault. This Liv might have made different decisions. To suddenly have that Liv sitting in front of her, it made her skin crawl. This Liv had been in her home, near her daughter.

Olivia suddenly needed to see Etta. She needed to ensure with her own eyes that her child was safe. It was a nearly primal feeling. Mama bear. Lioness. She straightened and walked quickly towards Broyles' office.

Through the glass doors, she saw Peter pacing back and forth with Etta. Walter was no longer seated in the same place on the leather couch. Astrid wasn't in the office either. Her heart beat slowed as soon as she saw Etta. She was fussing, not quick crying, but she was safe.

"Mama! Up!" she said as soon as Olivia entered the office. It's all Olivia wanted.

Peter turned around when heard what Etta had said. "There you are," he said.

Olivia didn't answered. She took a few more steps towards Peter and held out her arms. Etta reached out. Her lower lip was sticking out.

"Come here, monkey," said Olivia.

Peter passed Etta over to her mother. Etta held on tightly. She snuggled against Olivia's chest with her head tucked underneath Olivia's chin. She took a few deep breaths and sighed.

"Is everything okay?" asked Olivia.

"Of course. She just wanted her mama," said Peter. "She's been asking for you."

"I'm sorry, baby," said Olivia to her daughter. "Mommy always comes back. I'm here." She held on tightly.

Etta had already stopped her fussing. She had what she wanted.

Peter repeated Olivia's question back to her. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes and no," answered Olivia. She rested her cheek against Etta's head. "She just wanted to talk. She had a lot of things she wanted to hear. I didn't realize who she was this morning."

"What do you mean?" Peter said as ran his hand along Olivia's arm.

The touch was as comforting as holding Etta. "She remembers things from the other timeline and she's remembering more. She's not the double I was starting trust."

"She can't do anything."

"She still scares me."

Peter's hand was still resting on her arm. His fingers tightened slightly and pulled her closer.

"Peter, I just want her to go. Or better yet I wish she hadn't showed up," Olivia continued.

"I can't change those thing. What can I do?"

"Take us home."

"That I can do," he said. "Broyles came in here about an hour ago and said we can leave whenever you're ready. We just have to check in with him before we go."

"And get the car seat back."

"You two stay here and I'll go get Walter and Broyles and the car seat."

Olivia nodded. Peter kissed her on the forehead and then kissed Etta on the top of her head.

"I'll be right back," he said.

Olivia settled in one of chair in front of Broyles' desk and continued to wait. Walter came back from the cafeteria. He planted himself back in his usual spot without speaking. Olivia was grateful. She was not in the mood to talk about anything.

Broyles returned. He asked Olivia for a brief account of the conversation in the holding cell.

"It was nothing about her side or ours really. It was all personal. She wanted to know what being a mother was like."

"Could she have been trying to gather information?"

"No, I didn't say anything about my job beyond it's hard to balance working and being able to be home."

"She didn't say anything else?"

"She mostly listened to me. But she remembers a lot about the original timeline. I would say she's closer to that version then the one you worked with."

Broyles frowned. It was easy to read on his face that that fact made him nearly as uncomfortable as it made Olivia. He sighed. "Well, there is nothing more to do today. Go home. We may need one or both of you tomorrow depending on what she wants."

Olivia nodded.

He left just as Peter reappeared, lugging the car seat. The Bishops gathered their things and headed for the parking garage. No one tried to stop them or said anything beyond 'Have a good evening.'

Peter drove and Olivia insisted on letting Walter ride in the front. She sat in the back next to Etta and was quiet. They dropped Walter off at the lab. Olivia stayed in the back with her daughter.

They finally pulled into their driveway after what felt like years away. Inside, the house was a mess. It wasn't a complete wreck, but she could tell everything had been riffled through. Things were in the wrong place; not put back correctly. The drawers were open in the desk in the living room. The cabinets in the entertainment center had been emptied. The couch cushions were on the floor.

Olivia stood in the middle of the mess with Etta still on her hip. "Peter, I promise I will help clean all this up, but first I need a shower. I haven't even brushed my teeth yet today."

"I've got this. Go do whatever you need to do."

Olivia started towards the stairs. "I'm serious. Don't do anything. I want to help."

"Livy, go. Don't worry about it."

She was half way up the stairs. "I'll be right back."

"Sure you will," he called after her.

She was already upstairs and she already knew he was started to put things back together. The upstairs was not quite as bad. Etta's room was untouched.

Olivia went into the master bathroom and finally set Etta down. She ran bath. When the tub was full, she got Etta undressed and placed her inside. Olivia removed her own clothes and also slid into the warm water.

The thoughts and worries and guilt were all pushed aside. For the next twenty minutes, she only needed to focus on Etta and the little game she had created with the bath toys.

While Etta distracted herself, Olivia filled a large cup with water and poured it over Etta head, carefully making sure it didn't get in her eyes. Etta looked up in surprise and waved her arms around for a moment and then went back to the little spongy sea creatures floating in the water.

Olivia did the same thing for herself. Over and over again until her long hair was drenched. Etta helped by splashing little fist fills of water in Olivia's direction. Olivia smiled. She soaped them both up and repeated the rinsing. She let Etta play a little bit longer until the water began to get cold.

She got out first and dried off. With the door wide open so she could keep an eye on Etta, she dressed in pair of thin sweatpants and another one of Peter's t-shirts. She then returned to the bathroom and plucked Etta out of the tub. She wrapped her up in the towel. Once in Etta's room, Olivia dressed her in a fresh pair of pajamas.

"At least someone got to spend the day in their PJs," said Olivia as she zipped up Etta's footy pajamas.

Etta just looked up at Olivia from the changing table. For the most part, she was unaware of what had happened today. She was an intuitive child and she had felt some of the worry and the fear, but really Etta had no idea what a strange day it had been.

It was only a little after six; the day wasn't over yet. This thought gave Olivia with a small wave of fear and relief at the same time. There was still time for something else to go wrong; there was still time for everything to be okay.

Before Olivia went back downstairs, she returned to her bedroom and set Etta down on the still unmade bed. Etta played with the toys that were still piled on the bed while Olivia finally got the chance to brush her teeth.

They made their way back downstairs. Peter was just dropping the last pillow back onto couch. Everything was back in its proper place.

"Damiano's will be here in ten," he said when he saw them standing in the doorway.

"Thank you," she said. "Thank you a thousand times. For everything today. I'm such a mess."

He moved closer and kissed her quickly. "When your double from another universe breaks into your house at nine o'clock on a sleepy Saturday, you are allowed to be a bit of mess, especially when you then get dragged into the FBI for questioning."

"Well, I'm glad I get a pass," she said and then kissed him.

Olivia was determined not to waste the rest of evening. She sat down on the floor in the little area that was entirely Etta's. There was a plastic kitchen set and a small table and a pair of colorful chairs. There were puzzles and games and stuff animals.

Peter settled on the couch and turned on some sports game that neither of them cared about but the noise was better than silence. Their dinner arrived right on time and they all migrated to the kitchen. Then, Olivia found some old movie that she couldn't remember the name of on TV.

Etta felt asleep after half an hour, but Olivia wasn't willing to get up. She was leaning on Peter, her cheek on his shoulder. Her legs stretched out next to her and taking up most of the couch. Etta was curled up in the space between them with her head resting on Peter's thigh.

The movie ended. Peter moved only enough to switch off the TV. Olivia didn't stir. A part of her wanted to never move again. She just wanted to stay here, connected to her family for as long as possible.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked softly, even though Etta was deeply asleep.

Olivia brushed Etta's soft hair away from her forehead. "I don't know what else there is to say. I'm scared, Peter."

"Any glimmering?"

She shifted just enough so she could see his face. "No."

"Then it can't be so bad. Everything is going to be okay."

"I want to believe you. I do believe you, but it's hard to see sometimes. If it's not one thing, it's the other and it's all coming from all directions."

"Liv, you can't think like that."

"I know, but it's impossible not to. It's something I've always struggled with. There hasn't been a lot in my life that I can count on. Except this." She brushed her fingers through Etta's hair again. "I'm always scared something's going to happen."

He didn't answer. He kissed her on top of her head. There was nothing he could say that he hadn't said before. This was an echo of a conversation they had had time and time again. They seemed to take in turn to be the worried one. It was Olivia's turn. Peter could tell her that everything was going to be okay so many times. It was beginning to lose its meaning.

Finally, he found his words. "It will be better in the morning. Or when she's gone. If she is from the original timeline, then I don't want her around either. Walter and I will get started on getting her home tomorrow. It shouldn't be too hard. We'll just repeat whatever she did. You'll feel better after she leaves. She makes you nervous. Hell, she makes me nervous and she didn't steal my life."

"I hope you're right."

"I know I'm right. I also just want to be clear that I don't care what the FBI does, I'm not going to let anything happen to my girls. I'm not letting her near Etta and there is no way I'm making the same mistakes again. I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

"I know," said Olivia. She pressed her body closer against him. He slipped his hand into hers and entwined their fingers.

"I mean it. I'm not going to lose either of you."

Olivia sighed. Maybe she was beginning to believe him. "I'm exhausted," she said after a pause.

"Bedtime?" asked Peter.

"Yeah."

Slowly, they began to untangle themselves. Olivia scooped up Etta who didn't wake up. Olivia carried her upstairs. Peter had offered to get the lights and lock the doors.

The bed had never been made that morning, so Olivia just laid Etta in middle. She still didn't want to let Etta out of her sight. As she changed in her pajamas, Peter entered the room. He saw Etta sound asleep in their bed and didn't say anything.

"Just for tonight, okay?" said Olivia.

Peter nodded. "If it makes you feel better."

They had worked very hard to get Etta to sleep in her own crib for the entire night. Peter was actually the one who had the soft spot. He hated to listen to her cry and he was usually the one who got up in the middle of the night.

Olivia climbed in the bed carefully. She lie on her side with an arm tucked beneath her pillow and tried to close her eyes. She listened to Peter moving around the room as he unpacked his overnight bag from the conference. After a while, he flicked the lights off and climbing into bed himself.

Olivia didn't move. She just kept her eyes closed and tried to convince herself that she was asleep. It must have worked after a few hours because suddenly the phone was ringing and Olivia didn't know where she was.

There was a crash.

"Damn it," came Peter's voice through the semi-darkness.

Olivia slowly became orientated and knew something was wrong. It had only been an hour or two. Just long enough for her to had been deeply asleep, but not long enough to get the weariness out of her body. She felt around in the gap between hers and Peter's bodies. No sleeping toddler. The panic rose like a wave and crashed with a powerful blow.

"Peter, where's Etta? Oh God, where is she?" Olivia thrashing around in the sheets, feeling tangled and trapped. She sat up, still feeling around in the bed for her daughter.

The phone continued to ring from where it had fallen to the floor. Peter ignored it. He firmly took hold of her shoulder.

"Hey, Liv. Liv, relax. She's in her crib. She woke up an hour ago and I didn't want her to wake you up. She's okay. Everything is okay."

The phone had stopped ringing.

Olivia took a deep breath. She clenched her fist to try and keep her hand from shaking. She rested her elbows on her bent knees and covered her face. "I'm sorry," she said between her fingers.

Peter squeezed her shoulder. "It's fine. You don't have to worry about anything."

She took a few more breaths and removed her hands from her face. "Who was that on the phone?"

"I don't know. I knocked it over."

He carefully let go of her as if was worried that she might start to panic again. He reached over the side of the bed to retrieve the device.

It started ringing again before he had picked it up. The shrill sound made Olivia jump.

"Hello?" said Peter.

Olivia heard a voice through the receiver, but it was muffled.

Peter waited and then said, "It's alright. I'm glad you did. It's good to know. Okay. Good night."

He turned off the phone and let it drop to the floor again.

"She's gone."

"What do you mean gone?"

"They let her sleep for a few hours and then tried talking again. She apparently answered all their questions and as far as they can tell didn't hold anything back. Then, about an hour ago she just disappeared."

"She's probably coming here. How the hell did she escape?" said Olivia. She started to get up. She service weapon was hopefully still in the other lockbox in the closet by the back door.

"No, Olivia, you don't understand. She crossed over in the middle of a sentence. Just gone. Broyles said he blinked and she disappeared."

She didn't know what to say. It could be that easy? She closed her eyes and exhaled deeply.

"She's gone," repeated Peter and flopped back onto his pillow. Olivia knew he was watching her as best he could.

"It's over," said Olivia, although a small part of her still didn't really believe it.

Liv had brought with her a lot of baggage. News from the other side, memories, worries had all been drudged up and dumped in Olivia's lap. But it was a relief to know she would not have to try and cope knowing that Liv was on this side. She was back where she belonged and perhaps Olivia had been able to help her.

Olivia still began to push the covers off her legs.

"Where are you going?" he asked, sitting up on his elbows.

She leaned back over and kissed his strong, supportive shoulder. "I need to check on Etta."

"You know she's okay, right? You know she's fast asleep in her crib with today already fading from her memory, right?" He wasn't trying to stop her. He was trying to remind her that everything was okay.

She had slid out of bed while he was talking and was almost through the door before she answered. "I know, but I still want to make sure she hasn't been erased from existence." She was half hoping that Peter wouldn't hear her or think she was joking.

Just as Peter had said, Etta was sleeping peacefully in her crib. Olivia leaned against the railing and reached over a brush a lock of hair away from Etta's forehead. The touch was reassuring. Her daughter was solid beneath her figure tips.

She heard foots steps and felt Peter's arms wrap around her wait. He hugged her close.

"See fast asleep," he whispered.

"I know. I didn't really expect anything else."

"Let's just forget this entire day happened. Okay?"

"No. That's not what I want. I don't want to forget a single moment. It's happened too many times. They erased my memories when the other side kidnapped me. I had my memories change when the timeline changed. Liv forgot her son. I don't want to forget. I can't forget." Her voice was a passionate as it could be in a whisper.

"Okay, how about this? We remember together. Seeing her sitting in that interrogation room today, made me realized how lucky we are. She's all alone. She had no one to talk to so she came to us. We're the lucky ones."

"That I definitely won't forget," said Olivia.