Chaos everyone!

It's Hayato's birthday! He's my favourite character so I just had to write something!

This story is about my OTP Gokudera and Tsuna in a different light than usual. Anything mentioned in the 5YL timeline are generally plot points from my fic How a Thief Changed the Mafia, as is the personalities I have given them.

This fic is a weird combination of TYL Tsuna and Gokudera (aged 24 and 29), with both their 14, 16 and 19 year old selves. It'll make sense when you read it.

Warning: Intentional usage of Juudaime and Tsuna as two different people. I hope you get what I mean.

Warning 2: Mentions of sex but nothing explicit.

Love through the Bazooka Cloud

Current Gokudera (aged 19, aka 5YL)

As much as Gokudera loved his Juudaime, he still hated Tsuna at times.

He hated how kind to everyone Tsuna was, friend or enemy, whether they deserved it or not. He hated how unselfish Tsuna could be too. He was always giving to everyone else and taking very little in return. All of his fights were to protect the others, yet he insisted on not being protected in return. And that really drove Gokudera up the wall. Tsuna was constantly changing his plans to fit in with what everyone else around him (especially that damned Ahoshi who was the worst culprit) wanted. Gokudera didn't think that Tsuna had ever said 'No I want it this way' before. Not that Gokudera wanted Juudaime to become selfish or anything, but there was a difference between having everything done your way and a little self-indulgence and treating. Juudaime's kindness and selflessness was what had saved Gokudera and made him loyal in the first place after all. Gokudera also hated Juudaime's clumsiness; It was just not natural for a man to fall over that much.

However, 5 years later and Tsuna had lost the varnish. He had punished traitors, interrogated those who would harm the family and even made a contract with the Vindice to take in any prisoners who should be killed. Gokudera was extremely proud of Juudaime when he had decided not to kill anyone ever. He had grown into his body, become rather handsome, and thankfully, didn't trip as much. Being in the eyes of other Mafia Dons had forced him to become more assertive and make people aware of his needs and wants. Bringing that home was a different matter, but it was getting there. Tsuna's desire to protect everyone within his reach had both gotten better and worse. With the title of Boss looming, Tsuna was force to delegate work to subordinates. That he didn't follow the subordinates on these missions was a sign of him getting better. However, for those Guardians and other close personal friends, he had become even more protective. At first, he had tried to stop them from training, to stop them from punishing and harming others. Nono had over-ridden that order and Tsuna had sulked for days. Juudaime knew of the Guardians' tendencies to protect him so to get around that, he had started to take dangerous missions into enemy territory alone. As a result, Gokudera had resulted to almost stalking Juudaime and watching from the shadows. Gokudera didn't need to mention what effect this behaviour had on his stress levels. Gokudera was highly tempted to chain Juudaime to his desk or find a way to lock him in the house. He was sure the others would back him up.

But Gokudera did love Tsuna. Juudaime had saved him, accepted him when no one else had, saw the hidden worth behind the frosty exterior. He was a just and kind man. He loved Tsuna's smiles and his laugh too. He loved the way that Juudaime had relied on his experience of the mafia to help him with his own training. Gokudera couldn't get over the fact that it was in his arms that Juudaime had cried when the mafia had cracked his conscience. He was sure that it had been a dream when he had soothed Juudaime's nightmares with his piano playing. He was proud that he seemed to get more missions than any of the other Guardians. (Gokudera assumed that it was because of his reliability and past experience, rather than Juudaime's desire to put him in the line of fire more often. Hopefully it was a sign of trust, not hate)

But slowly, day by day, fight after trial after tragedy after tears after realisation, Juudaime was becoming closer to the man Gokudera could love fully. And he knew it was so, since he had a real life image to compare it to.

For Gokudera had fallen in love with Tsuna ten years into the future when he was only 14. Not that he would ever tell the current Juudaime that of course.

Adult Tsuna was everything that the current Tsuna was not, yet still so utterly Tsuna that it hurt. Adult Tsuna was more assertive; he had this Boss like aura that brought pleasant chills down Gokudera's spine. Yet he was still so kind and caring. The Adult Tsuna knew how to spread the responsibility about. He knew that his Guardians would protect him no matter what, so he let them, whilst still being ready to defend them if the need comes to it. He never whines about the jobs he had to do and he never lets anyone walk all over him like Juudaime does now. Adult Tsuna had even done the impossible and raised Lambo into a respectable adult.

He'd be loath to admit it, but it was actually because of the Ahoshi that Gokudera had met and fallen in love with the future Tsuna. Accidents with the Bazooka had forced them to meet, and Adult Tsuna merely took it in his stride and talked to Gokudera as if he was talking to the Adult version. A few times Gokudera had even 'arrived' during fights with enemy Mafioso. However instead of coddling Gokudera, instead of forcing Gokudera to retreat or grabbing him and flying away from the fight, he had calmly told Gokudera the situation over the sound of bullets being fired and let Gokudera fight alongside him.

And then there was THAT time…

After realising that he had fallen in love with the future Juudaime, he had managed to make a lot more 'accidents' with the bazooka happen. Gokudera would even steal it if he could. But years worth of attempts told him that was futile.

And during this special incident, it was obvious that Gokudera had switched during the middle of something. However he didn't have time to feel sorry for the older him that he had interrupted, nor could he spare any thought for the situation his older self would be in at the moment. Instead he was staring right into lust filled dark chocolate eyes. They stared at each other for a few moments as Adult Tsuna's brain began to comprehend what had happened.

"Hey, it's mini Hayato." He smiles. Tsuna always looked happy to see him. "How long's it been this time?"

"Yes Juudaime. About a day for me." Replies Gokudera, still not moving from his position crouching over Juudaime. He was still too shocked at the moment. Excluding the times that he had saved his most precious Juudaime from enemy fire, Gokudera and Tsuna had only ever ended up in this position once before, back in his current timeline. It was during a time that he and Juudaime were having a conversation (he refused to call it an argument for he would never argue with Juudaime… okay it was an argument) about the reason Tsuna even had Guardians in the first place. Juudaime had just completed his first bloody mission and was in the middle of a mental breakdown. At first Gokudera had merely pinned Juudaime's hands to his sides so he could no longer scratch himself raw. But as his need for Juudaime to understand the point he was making (For heaven's sake rely on me damnit!) grew and grew, he had (as Tsuna had pointed put afterwards) become a true Storm and bowled Juudaime over. In his anger (No matter how hard he tried, he could not refute the fact that he was angry with Juudaime) he had pushed Tsuna down, towering over him and made his point extremely clear. Of course after realising the fact that he had the audacity to do such a thing and put Juudaime in such a position, he apologised profusely, banged his head against the ground many times and offered to willingly accept any form of punishment Juudaime decided should be given out. Needless to say, Tsuna was very affected by Hurricane Hayato and started to use him as a source of emotional support- whenever Gokudera found him in such a state that was.

"Really? It's been about 3 months since your last visit here." Thinks Tsuna. These time differences never were the same. It could have been anything from hours to weeks. This had to be the longest gap so far. Whilst being known as the 10 Year Bazooka, that wasn't actually true. Although calling it the Approximately 10 year Bazooka didn't have quite the right ring to it. Even when they had travelled to the future to fight Byakuran, it was 9 years and 10 months. However the Bazooka had a weird way of balancing everything out. For example, Gokudera was willing to bet that the next accident wouldn't happen for 4 or 5 months, but only have been 4 or 5 days for Adult Tsuna, to rectify this gap in timeframes. He hoped this wasn't a sign of a malfunction in the machine.

Gokudera looks down and notices that Juudaime's shirt is open, his hair is ruffled and they are definitely on a bed. "Am I interrupting something?" Gokudera asks, looking back to Tsuna's face. A stupid question, yet one his mind couldn't quite add up and make an answer out of yet.

"I'm actually surprised that you've never interrupted something like this before" admits Tsuna, although he's not ashamed of it at all. The Tsuna Gokudera knew would have screamed already and most likely fallen off the bed in an attempt to distance himself. "It's been a stressful three months. That fight you entered last time was only the first of many. Speaking of which, did you get injured?"

Gokudera looks away for a second. "Nothing I can't handle Juudaime..."

"…There's no need to worry about me." they both say, Gokudera seriously, Tsuna mockingly.

Tsuna looks the mini Gokudera up and down, noticing the faint blush, the picked up breathing and the way Gokudera's eyes meandered. With a wicked gleam in his eyes, he rubs his hands down Gokudera's sides, testing. "Let me check and make sure that you are alright."

Gokudera can't believe the words he's hearing.

Gokudera was 16 when this particular incident occurred, having been in love with Juudaime's Adult self for 2 years now. He was young, pubescent and downright hormonal, so he couldn't really say no when Tsuna offered to make him into a 'real man'. When all was done and Gokudera was back in the room with his Tsuna where they had been studying for a test, he actually envied his Adult self. He was jealous since his older self has older Tsuna all to himself and could have what must be the best sex in the world whenever he wanted. Tsuna's hyper intuition caused a very mind blowing experience.

Gokudera smiled at that memory as he watched Juudaime sign some paperwork from his position at his desk. It reminded him all the more why he loved Tsuna and hated him at the same time. Tsuna was his Sky, the ever accepting home that had finally tamed the untameable Storm. But there lied the problem. For Tsuna was not only his Sky, but everyone's Sky. He was Yamamoto's Sky and Lambo's Sky and Mukuro's Sky and a Sky to hundreds of other people. He was not Gokudera's alone, and at this current time, Tsuna was not capable of giving Gokudera 100% of his attention in the same way that Gokudera looked at him and only him. Maybe the problem was that he'd never asked for permission for that to happen. Although now, in the middle of learning what Mafioso truly meant and why Mafiosi wore Black not white, was not the best time for a love confession.

That's why Gokudera Hayato, aged either 14, 16 or 19 wanted to hurry up and be 24 already, be 29 already and be able to love the man before him, not the one at the other end of the Bazooka and a cloud of smoke.

Adult Gokudera (Aged 29)

Even at this age Gokudera still loved and hated Tsuna. Juudaime really was the Boss, had been for almost 7 years now, and so much had changed after Nono had retired and died. Tsuna had changed, he had changed and the Mafia world around them had changed. Vongola was now far far smaller than it used to be with the revelation that they were going to become a Vigilante Family instead of a Mafia one. Many Mafioso had left, preferring the perks of the criminal life: the drugs, the women, the violence and the money. Gokudera was glad to see them go, they had never been very nice to Juudaime anyway. He'd gotten into far too many fights with that kind of man over comments they had made about his Tsuna. Bastards like them could never understand what a gift Tsuna was. Gokudera could never thank Tsuna enough for not changing drastically, for not being corrupted or broken by the Mafia life he had briefly entered. Tsuna still fought as if every punch affected him too, like every scream was his own, fists clenched in prayer. In the darkest of this Underworld Tsuna still had a smile as bright as the sun, a smile he loved to see. It was a smile that relaxed him, made him proud to belong to Tsuna, excited and energised him all at once.

But what he loved most was the Tsuna when they were alone, the one that trusted him explicitly with his true feelings. He adored the way Tsuna would cuddle up to him when he was tired, he never felt prouder to be who he was when Tsuna spilt his mind out to Gokudera. He never appreciated his harsh past and leaving home at the age he did more than when Tsuna cried into his shoulder at another unspeakable action the members of a Mafia Family had just committed. Sometimes even now it all felt like a dream to be loved by such a magnificent person. Tsuna at 29 was a person he loved to love, even if he was quite different to his 14 year old self- but most of that could be contributed to the Mafia. Gokudera knew that he kept Juudaime standing almost as much as Juudaime kept him standing.

But there were still things he hated, although hated was a strong word, maybe disliked would have been better. Even after so long living with everyone, Tsuna still took on far too much by himself. Gokudera was constantly forced to remind Juudaime to take a break, to stop working, to let someone else do that particular job. During the past couple of years they had had another argument, just after they had become Vigilante rather than Mafia. Tsuna had demanded to be allowed back into the field more often. His Guardians had slowly been taking over his jobs as a Mafia Boss, all in the name of protecting their Sky. But Tsuna had insisted that Vigilante Bosses acted differently, and that he should be on the front lines more than any of the others, to prove to the public that they were indeed here to help and protect them. No matter how hard he had protested Tsuna wouldn't give up, so Gokudera had had no choice than to let him into battle too. But Gokudera supposed it was better this way than having a Boss who refused to step foot out into battle.

But those were all small things. After having spent half of his life with Tsuna, he had learnt that he loved even those things he hated for they were all a part of Tsuna. He couldn't change his lover at all otherwise he wouldn't be the person he loved. 'No one was perfect' was something he had had pushed into his face many times and Tsuna was just as human as anyone else, no matter how much Gokudera practically worshipped him.

But it wasn't until a certain accident 5 years ago that he had realised how wrong his 14 and 19 year old self was. They were in the middle of a stressful time, in direct conflict with a Mafia Family who were affecting far too many civilians for Tsuna's liking. Both had needed time to reassure that the other was indeed alive, to forget how black hearted some people could be and to blow off steam and stress. It was one of the many times he had initiated the act; contrary to popular belief he was the dominant one of this relationship. It had taken a few internal battles to realise that it was what Tsuna needed, to let someone else take control, to let someone else order him around for once. Once he had gotten over the nervousness of daring to order Tsuna about, he had found other ways that being the dominant one helped Tsuna as well as him- it forced both of them to take a break from work. Of course there were lots of different types of sexual encounter, allowing them to either blow off steam and anger or as a cure for tears and insecurities. Recognising certain moods in Tsuna meant he knew exactly what type was needed. Of course he never minded when Tsuna had those moments of domination either- he liked to think they had an equal relationship.

This had been one of the softer times where they wanted to forget the Mafia and all of the punishments they had just dealt, hoping that it was enough to get them to stop. They never killed anyone ever. He was very surprised when he was suddenly developed in a cloud of smoke. He thought he was used to it after years worth of just randomly jumping due to his 14 year old self- although at this particular time the culprit would have been his 16 year old self since he was 26 at the time. He had wanted to curse his younger self, but instead decided to hope that the relative innocence of himself at 16 would heal Tsuna just as well as he could now.

Of course he never minded time jumping either for it allowed him to see the one he loved too. He wasn't too sure when things had changed, but it was at times like this that he realised how foolish he was when he was 14, wishing to be in the future already. Why would he want to be in the future when he had everything he needed right here? Gokudera Hayato aged 26 was in love with Tsuna aged 16. There was no other way to put it. He loved how childish he was. He loved and adored Tsuna's innocence. Tsuna at age 16 had no hero complex. He had, as much as Gokudera wouldn't want to think of it, no death wish, or maybe it was better to say that this Tsuna was scared of death. Sure he was brave enough to overcome it, but only when pushed to the limit. The Tsuna he knew, in his own time line, had had that trained out of him by the Ninth. His fear of death had been removed under the pretence of being willing to do anything and everything for the sake of his friends and Vongola. His Tsuna rushed into danger at the first sight of it just to make sure it never reached them. The Tsuna infront of him now, the young one, was actually more willing to rely on the others to help him.

Shocked eyes look at him and it's then that he remembers that he loves this Tsuna's eyes, the ones with a glorious spark and glitter in them. His Tsuna had lost that due to the Mafia.

"A-ha… sorry, Lambo disturbed our study session and you got mad at him and I'm sure you know the rest of the story" apologises Tsuna. Shouts of "Shopping~ Shopping~ Buy me Grape Candy" coming from outside the window assured Gokudera that Lambo along with Mamma and the rest of the family were just going out shopping. It was nice to hear the childish voices of Lambo, I-pin and Fuuta. Oh and Reborn's voice too, telling Lambo off. Boy, when was the last time he'd heard that squeaky voice? And talking of voices, this Tsuna's was so nice and comforting to his ears. Adult Tsuna had the voice of a Boss, and couldn't really turn it off anymore. When he was younger it used to make him shiver, but now it was just another sign of how much Tsuna had changed. But this voice, still high pitched, reminded him of happier days, fun days, safe days without blood and gun shots and the roar of Flames.

"Hello Juudaime" Ah, to speak Japanese again, how nicely it rolled off his tongue.

Tsuna blushes a bright red and quickly adverts his eyes. "Umm, d-did we interrupt s-something?" he stutters. And what a cute stutter it was, once again something that had been left far behind in his present.

Over the past one and a half years by this point, Adult Gokudera had met young Tsuna lots and lots of times, all brought about by Younger Gokudera's love of Adult Tsuna. They had become quite close, telling each other about their daily lives, helping out with problems and lots of other things. Tsuna would help heal his injuries if the transfer ever took place during a battle. These times were useful since he could go back to the battle refreshed and more ferocious than before, Tsuna's high pitched words of luck ringing in his ears. They spent many afternoons and nights cuddled up together, him teaching Tsuna some of the classwork he didn't understand. They had even had battles before now. No one knew that he'd helped the boy to perfect his Flame techniques when no one was watching them, ready for whatever battle was going to come up next that Gokudera knew about but Tsuna didn't. Both knew the rules of time travel and never mentioned important things that could affect the past timeline. Although talks of the Mafia and the future were very rare simply because Tsuna at this age was still adamant about not being a Mafia Boss and Adult Gokudera had simply had enough of the Mafia. More often than not their time together was just idle chatter. Their time together had slowly been growing too as the bazooka got used more and more and their bodies got used to time travel. Their current time was approximately one and a half hours.

Gokudera looks down at himself, having forgotten about what was going on as soon as the weird feeling of time travel had descended upon him. Ah that's right he was in the middle of something. He hoped that his younger self would be safe with Adult Tsuna.

"Ah! How could I be so disorganised in front of you? I was just undressing for bed when we switched." he rushes, quickly doing up the buttons of his shirt. Not one word of that was a lie. He was undressing for bed, just Tsuna's bed, not his. He wouldn't lie to any version of Tsuna. "Please forgive me for my misconduct!" He bowed, but stopped at a reasonable angle. Tsuna's eyebrow raises like it always does when he bows this far, since he was so used to the 16 year olds' head banging.

"Ahh! I'm sorry to have interrupted your sleep! D-did you want to sleep here now?" Tsuna stutters, leaping up and starting to throw the clothes off of his bed.

Yes.

"No, I am fine Juudaime." Reassures Gokudera, knowing that the teen had meant the words innocently enough. He quickly bombed the libido in his mind; no matter how much he may like the Tsuna of this time, he'd never do such a thing without this Tsuna's permission. Not unless he needed to step in.

Of course, like in any relationship, there were a few small things that Adult Gokudera didn't like about the younger Juudaime. Him falling over for one. Not because it wasn't manly or Boss-like, but purely because all of those falls must have hurt. And there was one more thing he hated, and this was an actual hate rather than a dislike. And that was the way Tsuna let Reborn boss him about. If he could say one thing to his younger counterpart, it would be to protect this Juudaime from the World's Best Hitman. Reborn had done far too many things wrong, starting with simply walking in the door. Okay, maybe the hitman walking in the door was fine and a good thing, it provided the path to their meeting after all. And it gave Juudaime enough confidence to live a worthy life. But after a little while things had gone too far. Mainly, the moment they had stepped (or returned for him) into the Dark. With the experience of age, he knew that was the exact moment that Tsuna's life was destroyed. One such as he did not need to be dragged into the Dark where everyone was trying to snuff out his Light. He didn't need to be punishing people, removing limbs and all of the other things the Mafia did. That kind of life wasn't suitable nor worthy of Juudaime, of Tsuna. But Reborn had forced him into it. And then he'd gone and fucking died. Tsuna's heart had quite literally broke at that point. It had taken forever for Tsuna to get over the loss of the Sun Arcobaleno. Sure it had affected everyone since Reborn had become someone important, almost a father, in their lives, but for Tsuna, it was devastating, and the Arcobaleno had taken a part of Tsuna that Gokudera couldn't fill or heal. If he could re-do things, as soon as Tsuna had his Guardians he would have kicked Reborn out of Tsuna's life. The confidence to find friends was all Tsuna actually needed to grow into a decent man. Confidence in himself was enough for Tsuna to grow into a fine young man, but Reborn had gone and done so much more, bringing far too much responsibility and therefore pain onto Tsuna's fragile shoulders. Gokudera had to physically stop himself from continuing on that train of thought before he felt the need to bomb the closest thing, which in this instance would be Tsuna's bedroom and he couldn't do that.

So instead he went over and sat next to Tsuna, tied his hair back, put on his glasses (he knew adult Tsuna found this sexy and indeed this Tsuna was blushing) and helped the boy to understand the Quadratic Equation Formula. He'd pat the boy on the head when he got something correct (his age allowed him the authority to do so, and God he wasn't missing a chance to touch the person he loved most), lean over his shoulder when Tsuna was struggling and Tsuna would pout and fake cry with an over dramatic voice into his shoulder when he didn't get a thing. This was how it was done, their relationship, and Gokudera was perfectly willing to wait for another few years until the day they stepped into the Dark was close before he made his move. He was ready this time, he was prepared and this Storm was not letting the Dark anywhere near his Sky.

Gokudera Hayato, Smokin' Bomb, Right Hand, Second in Command and Storm Guardian of the prestigious Vongola Vigilante Famiglia was in love with Tsuna before he truly became Juudaime, and he was willing to do anything to create a perfect world for the one he loved most, even if that meant changing time itself.

Adult Tsuna (29)

Tsuna didn't know where he would be without Gokudera, he seriously didn't. His best guess would be 2 feet underground, possibly in 100 pieces from his suicide attempt. He knew it to be a fact that he wouldn't have been able to survive becoming a Mafioso and becoming a Boss if it was not for Gokudera's unwavering loyalty and support. He knew that the Dark would have overwhelmed him if not for the never ending Storm protecting him. And he was ever so grateful for the fact that Gokudera loved him in return.

Not that he would ever tell Gokudera, but the Bomber was one of the main reasons that he had stepped into the Dark in the first place (Lambo and Mukuro had been part of the reason too, but Gokudera was most prominent). He had wanted to change the Damned Mafia that had treated such a wonderful person so badly. It was for Gokudera that he changed the Famiglia into a Vigilante one rather than a Mafia one. He wanted to make sure that no one else was ever hurt like Gokudera and Lavina were. Vigilante, protecting people from the Dark Mafia, was the only thing he could think of to repay Gokudera for all he had done for Tsuna in return.

He loved Adult Gokudera's personality; 'age had calmed the Storm' was not quite correct. Instead it had merely hidden it. It was so exciting to see the figurative fuse lit and for Gokudera to suddenly burst out shouting and swearing and bombing everything around him down. Sometimes even Tsuna couldn't predict when these outbursts were going to happen, which made it all the more exciting to watch, to wait and anticipate. He also loved Gokudera's authority. It seemed to fit the bomber, leading others, planning raids, orchestrating everything so that everyone turned out as safe as possible. Gokudera had this way of being able to control so many teams at once it made Tsuna's jaw drop. Gokudera didn't know that whilst Tsuna seemed to be focused on the camera images infront of him, he was actually listening to the Right Hand's way of leading others, taking pointers for inter-group relationships, how to spread information around and how to make teams of people work like a well-oiled machine. It both amazed and inspired him.

Adult Gokudera was someone he could trust whole heartedly with any problem, whether it be concerns over a Mafia Famiglia's actions, or was it just him or did Yamamoto seem rather stressed, or simply what colour tie looked best, Gokudera could be trusted to give a worthwhile opinion. Certain things Tsuna had to be careful with, especially fashion, or things concerning himself since Gokudera often sugar coated it in an effort not to hurt his feelings. It was a small pet hate of his, Gokudera's ever so careful wording- he wasn't a genius for nothing after all. And Gokudera's careful wording actually got around his Hyper Intuition, whether the man realised it or not. But after having spent half his life with the bomber, Tsuna accepted it, tried to see it as endearing and on very odd occasions when he was down in the dumps, allowed it to stroke his ego. He wasn't infallible and needed such prompts every now and again.

Nor was Gokudera as invincible as he made out to be and Tsuna had been there every step of the way to help the bomber through his own insecurities. He loved the fact that Adult Gokudera had grown up enough to allow Tsuna to even see these moments of weakness. He certainly never allowed anyone else to see them, accept this one time where he let his barriers down to show Lambo that being chucked out of a Mafia Famiglia had been heart breaking for him too. Tsuna loved Gokudera's face when he blushed, such a different tone of red than when he was shouting.

He also loved Gokudera's posing. The bomber (and bomber specifically in this instance) most likely didn't even know he was posing, and had been doing so for a very long time, well as long as Tsuna could remember. It was that image where Gokudera stood tall and unaffected by the very blast he had just step off. Debris would be flying everywhere, smoke would be billowing out around the area, but there would be Gokudera, one foot infront of the other, hands down by his sides, chin up and shoulders back, as if enjoying the breeze. Tsuna found the look cute and rather handsome if he admitted it to himself. None of the others had noticed Gokudera's posing and he kept it a secret to himself. There were other poses too of course, based on all of his attacks from the disk based Sistema CAI to a pose with the G's Archery Bow and even one with his Vongola Gear. And then there were the poses with Uri, in both adult and kitty form, and these just made Tsuna giggle inside since it looked like a scene from an action movie. But that was Gokudera for you, strangely fond of rather cliché scenes. He reckoned that if he performed the famous Titanic scene, Tsuna's arms wrapped around him at the bow of the ship, Gokudera would scream like a fangirl inside. If he could decipher the G-Script then he reckoned it would be in Gokudera's diary.

The only thing he could wish for was for Gokudera to be a bit freer with his feelings. It often took a lot of hard work, even now, for Tsuna to get anything out of his Right Hand; threats to the position were often used. Tsuna was sure that he was just as much of an emotional base to Gokudera as Gokudera was to him. But it would be nice for it to be verbalised. Everyone thought it was, with how often Gokudera shouted out Tsuna's praises, but it was always the same thing, the same broken record playing over and over again with slightly different words to fit the situation. He knew that Gokudera was loyal to him, even a stick could see the loyalty and devotion, but Tsuna wasn't after that. He knew exactly how to manipulate anyone to gain devotion- the 9th had taught him well- but he had wanted more from Gokudera. Becoming lovers had solved the problem slightly, but still the amount of emotional spillage was certainly stacked in Tsuna's favour. Tsuna had pondered whether this was because he was weaker than Gokudera, or whether he just had more on his plate than Gokudera did, but then, every so often, he'd be reminded that there was still a hurt little piano prodigy that had just lost him mother inside Gokudera, and Tsuna knew that Gokudera still hadn't come to terms over that yet, even after Bianchi's evidence. But on the few times that it was Gokudera crying on his lap rather than the other way around, Tsuna felt like he was one step closer to finally understanding the Storm he had captured.

But there was always one way to get to know his Storm better, and it had suddenly gotten a whole lot easier after a certain incident 3 years ago. He'd just ask the Younger Gokudera what he felt about certain things, and being younger, it was harder for the boy to hold back the emotional pain. Of course certain things had changed as Gokudera had grown up, but this incident had been the key to unlocking it all. Tsuna was shocked to say the least when a cloud of smoke had appeared just then of all times, but seeing Mini-Gokudera's reaction had made everything better.

Adult Tsuna had a vague idea of what was happening. After all, no one got hit by the Bazooka that often unless they planed it that way, or was Lambo himself. Nor did he mind ravishing the mini Gokudera right here and now. It just meant that there was more Gokudera to love. Nothing wrong with that right? If he was to say he truly loved Gokudera, all of him, his faults and strengths, brashness and loyalty, then it would be a Sin not to love this Gokudera just as equally as he loved his mature partner. For all of it was the wonderful, magnificent Storm known as Gokudera Hayato.

He found Mini-Gokudera rather cute and endearing, especially when he'd shiver just from Tsuna's voice- he'd had to stifle a snort the first time it had happened, since he knew that current Gokudera hated it. But seeing mini Gokudera also made him rather sad at times. Actually Younger Gokudera made him both happy and sad, along with melancholic and regretful all at once. This Gokudera wasn't as tainted as his current one was, and Tsuna found the innocence refreshing. He was happy to see Gokudera unburdened by the life of a Mafioso. But it also made him sad since he knew in the future that the light in his eyes would fade, that the number of playful arguments with Yamamoto would dramatically drop, that Gokudera would be forced back into the world he'd just escaped from. Tsuna felt guilty that it was his fault. He deeply regretted pulling Gokudera back into the Mafia, hence his need to correct it all by making a Vigilante Family. But seeing the 16 year old Gokudera had reminded him of happier times, filled with fun and laughter, fireworks and snowball fights… filled with so much Light.

He knew that it was impossible to change time, too many events required the timeline to stay as it was. But at least when Younger Gokudera was around, Tsuna could close his eyes and pretend that he was back being 16 and Dame-Tsuna and pretend that the Mafia World around him no longer existed.

Sawada Tsunayoshi aged 24, aged 29, took respite in Younger Gokudera, wishing to be able to change time, but knowing the deep down he would love Gokudera at any age, and that's all that mattered.

Current Tsuna, aged 19.

Tsuna's respect and admiration for Gokudera at this age were higher than the Sky itself. At the point where he was just learning how to be a Mafioso, he finally realised just what on earth Gokudera had already been through when he was a pre-teen. To be able to survive living in the harsher end of the Mafia from the age of 8 to 13 was truly a feat to be admired and respected for. And here Gokudera was, going through it all once again and helping him every step of the way. If he didn't already know that he loved Gokudera, then he certainly knew it now. He knew it from the way that the sight of blood on him was far more worrying than the sight of blood on any of the others (although the sight of blood on any of his Guardians was a fearful sight for him to start with, I mean… what if they'd gotten hurt?), he knew it from the way that he held on tighter to the assignment files he had to give to Gokudera, trembling with the force it took not to pull his hand back and say this file actually wasn't for him. He knew he was in love with the bomber when he felt insanely pleased and proud and scarily possessive over the fact that Gokudera played music to help him through his nightmares. Gokudera didn't do it for anyone else and he had the strange feeling of wanting to flaunt the fact in everyone else's faces. This possessiveness scared him at times since he had never been that kind of person before.

Tsuna had always felt strangely touched by the bombers fierce defence of him. Having been called Dame-Tsuna and beaten by bullies for 14 years of his life made him used to the fact that no one cared enough to bother defending him. But then had come Gokudera and he'd finally found someone who would protect him. The feeling warmed his heart until the point at which it went ice cold as Gokudera was harmed in his defence. Defending him was something Tsuna both loved and hated Gokudera for, since that moment of ice and the sudden fear that Gokudera had been hurt were so painful and hard to bear. He didn't know whether Gokudera knew how much these defence procedures tore his heart to pieces. He was positive that Gokudera never saw the distress on his face, nor the regretful looks that he kept sending to the bombers back. In fact especially now during this dangerous period, he saw Gokudera's back almost as much as he saw the man's face. Those broad shoulders were so nice to see, provided a sense of protection and a feeling of Family until they bent forwards and down in pain and those feelings changed. If only Gokudera turned around to face him for once, to use his back to defend the blow instead of his front, then maybe he'd see just how much if affected Tsuna. Although Tsuna suspected that if Gokudera did ever see this pain then he'd only berate himself and seclude himself somewhere stupid to train to become strong enough to never get harmed again- which in itself was a cute but highly unrealistic dream that quickly needed to be stepped on, squished and incinerated before Gokudera actually acted upon it. Gokudera was already strong enough, both in body and spirit.

Tsuna loved the way that Gokudera was always there for him, even at this young age of 19 and even before that, from the age of 14 upwards. Gokudera had helped him a lot, and he didn't know if he would have ever passed School without the Genius's help. He didn't know whether he'd be able to protect the Family as well as he did now if it wasn't for Gokudera's help. And that included help from Adult Gokudera. The seeming differences between the two had initially shocked him. The calmness had originally made him wonder if Gokudera's theories of UMA's was true and whether in his hunt for the truth he'd been possessed by one (which he knew would most likely have been a dream of Gokudera's come true, to meet and be possessed by a UMA.) But Adult Gokudera had been appearing in his life ever since after the Future Incident when he was only 14, always there with some sort of advice or a willingness to help Tsuna in whatever he endeavoured to do. Of course they had been friends too, chatting about a lot of random topics, but even just the talking was release for Tsuna since he could talk to an adult he trusted, an adult who knew what he was going through and could say with 100% accuracy that he would pull through and surpass whatever bothered him since he'd seen it happen. Adult Gokudera's maturity was reassuring and calmed Tsuna down a bit. Even now at the age of 19, Adult Gokudera was helping him just as much as the current Gokudera was. He could understand some of Tsuna's problems better than the current Gokudera could and as a result gave better advice. Adult Gokudera also secretly helped Tsuna learn how to defend himself better, teaching him how to fight and defend against the common Mafia Weapons of guns, knives and fists. Current Gokudera didn't know of these secret training practices.

Although it was clear to Tsuna that Gokudera had been hiding what he had been doing in the future. This had first started to concern Tsuna after a time when he was 16 that had started out weird and ended even weirder. For a start, when Adult Gokudera came through, he was dishevelled, his shirt was totally thrown open and so was the zipper to his trousers. Tsuna accepted Adult Gokudera's reasons for his appearance, although looking back on the experience he realised it was just another one of Gokudera's carefully worded half-truths. Their time talking afterwards was a more heartfelt one, with Gokudera asking many more personal questions than usual. Adult Gokudera had also been touching him a lot more than he usually did, even though Tsuna didn't mind. Tsuna assumed it had something to do with the war the future was currently in against some other Famiglia. He knew about that since his Gokudera had come back injured yesterday and Tsuna had forced Gokudera to tell him why. But when his Gokudera had come back an hour and a half later, Gokudera was in a similar state to when his Adult self had arrived. His clothes were rumpled and he was flushing, slightly glassy eyed and ever so slightly out of breath. Plus he smelt different to usual. Even to this day, he'd never seen Gokudera come back looking like that, but something told him that something more was happening in the future than simple chatting.

But there was one thing that Gokudera of any age did that annoyed Tsuna greatly, and that was his unwillingness to ask for help. There was a reason that Gokudera fell well into the role of Right Hand, and it was because he was far better at giving out orders and co-ordinating everyone else than asking help from others. Current Gokudera never asked for help during his missions, whether that be in the form of a friend to watch his back or a shoulder to cry on or even someone to punch to release his anger. Not asking for help often made things harder than necessary, but Tsuna had long learnt that Gokudera liked to take the long hard way to do anything since that's just simply the way his brain worked. Give him something hard to do, like a logic problem, a logistic problem or some sort of academic task and Gokudera could do it in an instant, but give him something simple to do and it suddenly became the most complicated thing in the world. Which was why Gokudera was never good at cooking. His genius tended to make him over think things at times. Adult Gokudera never asked for help either. When he'd arrived the first time inured, it had taken a great deal of their remaining time for Tsuna to convince Adult Gokudera to let him help and heal his wounds, Adult Gokudera insisting that he couldn't let Juudaime get his hands dirty like that. He'd had very little time left to actually start healing the man before he left once again. Getting Adult Gokudera to release pent up feeling, stresses and concerns had taken even longer, but Tsuna knew it was worth it in the end.

Sawada Tsunayoshi, heir to the Vongola Mafia Family and current hitman in training, aged 19, knew he loved Gokudera but never had the courage to tell him nor his Adult self.

So what were four love sick men (or should that be 2?) separated not by Distance but by Time to do?

It wasn't as if the time jumps could be made permanent.

Was it?

Hmm there we go. This changed drastically from what it originally was; it was just the first part about 19 year old Gokudera both loving and hating Juudaime, but then I liked the idea of this very strange love square between them and their Adult selves. I hope it wasn't too confusing.

Happy Birthday Hayato!

Lots of love

Phantom Hitman 1412

First published 09 September 2012