A/N: Hi! This takes place directly after Loki and Thor disappear at the end of The Avengers, hope you enjoy, and please please please review if you liked it! Thank you! x
My friend, with you to live alone,
Were how much better than to own
A crown, a scepter, and a throne!
O strengthen me, enlighten me!
I faint in this obscurity,
Thou dewy dawn of memory.
- Ode To Memory, Alfred Tennyson
A sharp pain tore through his body and he cried out helplessly as they were flung through space, their atoms scattered and realigned, broken and torn apart and fitted together again seamlessly. Loki screamed in anger and fear, his voice lost in the void. The only thing which grounded him, gave him strength, was the solid presence of his brother at his side. Even now, in the dark and the unknown, in the space between, Loki knew Thor was there. He may not be particularly happy about the fact that his little brother had just tried to enslave the entire human race, but he was there.
Suddenly everything paused, suspended in time before they came to a standstill, and then the two brothers were thrown forwards into the dust on a lonely and forgotten world. Thor reached out a hand and caught Loki as he stumbled, his body warm and strong as he heaved his brother into standing. Loki turned his gaze upwards and Thor's cold eyes met his own. His brother released him and strode away, leaving his adopted sibling to regain his balance and gaze around him in confusion.
"I assumed you would take me to Asgard, to be punished." Loki said quietly, surveying the seven crescent moons which ringed the planet with fascination, the great cavernous wounds in the distant mountains, the perilous canyons scooped from the hillside, and before them, the dry and desolate landscape devoid of life. Thor's back was to him, his shoulders hunched and his head held low to avoid his brother's calculating stare. He flinched at the mention of punishment, his head twitching slightly in Loki's direction.
"No." Thor's reply was simple but his voice sounded strange and forced.
"You don't think I deserve to be punished?" Loki ventured hesitantly, taking a step forwards closer to his brother. Thor shook his head gently. He knew that what Loki had done was not out of pure hate or born out of evil, it was because Loki had never felt the extent of love and belonging that Thor had been so privileged to receive.
"No," Thor said, turning to face Loki. "I think you deserve to be loved."
Loki stared at him.
"Thor..." He breathed, walking up behind his brother, closing the distance between them quickly. "Tell me what you mean by that." He said at last, his breath warm on Thor's neck. The older prince refused to look at him, keeping his gaze steady and trying to ignore the sensations rippling through his body at Loki being so close to him. It would be so easy, to turn around and take his brother for his own, so easy, and yet, still immoral.
He remembered all those nights he spent awake, trying to chase away those poisonous thoughts before finally giving in and letting his hand wander down his chest and slip between his thighs...
Loki gave a forced laugh and moved away. "Very well," He murmured, walking to the edge of a precipice, kicking a pebble into the infinite darkness below. "Tell me, or I'll jump." He challenged with a smirk. Thor's blood ran cold and his face fell. As much as he wanted to believe it was another of Loki's tricks, part of him knew the value of the information he withheld.
"Don't play games with me brother." He growled, moving forwards and reaching out to Loki. "Step away from there."
Loki merely grinned, giving Thor a cheery wave before stepping over the edge and plummeting to a certain death in the lonely black void.
"Loki!" Thor cried, scrambling to the edge of the pit and peering over. "I said no games, do you hear me? Come back at once!" Silence greeted his plea. Thor hung his head.
"Please. I hate it when you do this." Thor detected the gentle stirring of air as Loki reappeared behind him unharmed. "I can't bear to lose you Loki; I've sacrificed enough to get you back. If you died I would cease to exist. You are the only person who understands me." Loki shuffled his feet, a feint blush colouring his cheeks.
"Thor," He said, touching a hand to his brother's broad shoulder. "I'm here."
"I know." Thor replied, looking up and giving his brother a gentle smile.
Loki looked at him quizzically for a moment, then he moved in and hugged Thor tightly, just as he would have done when they were children. They hadn't shared a moment like this for so long. It seemed as though they could take everything back, erase the memory of everything that had happened between them and become brothers again. In their minds, Thor and Loki were still those fragile, scared little boys, clinging desperately to a soft and comfortable childhood together. It didn't matter if the world moved on without them; it was here that they would remain, safe and loved in each other's company.
Loki clung to his brother and buried his face in Thor's neck, breathing in the scent of sweat and musk, and finding himself reminded of home. Thor hugged his little brother closer, feeling bony arms wrap around his shoulders. He was reminded again of how thin Loki had become, more so than when they were growing up together. Loki gave a small sniff and Thor knew he was trying to hide the fact that he was crying. The older prince shifted until he was sitting down with Loki in his lap. As obscenely tall as Loki had gotten, Thor was still able to tuck his body against his own. It was as though they were made for each other, and Thor relished the pure human contact after what seemed like an eternity of icy glances and humourless laughter. So changed were these men, but their bond remained as strong as it had ever been.
Loki cried silently against his brother as Thor held him, and for this one time he allowed himself the luxury of tears. Thor ran his fingers through Loki's dark hair and kissed his brother's temple, his cheeks, that tender spot behind his ear. Everywhere Thor touched, Loki leant against him and pushed into his body like a kitten seeking attention. Thor smiled.
"I love you," He said quietly, nosing Loki's hairline and breathing him in.
"I love you too," Loki murmured against Thor's shoulder, his thin fingers seeking out the rim of Thor's armour, slipping his hands beneath the cold metal and feeling the heat and power of the man beneath this arrogant exterior, obscured by misguided honour and hard favour.
Curious hands continued to roam over heated flesh, mapping, discovering, remembering. Thor growled deep in the back of his throat as Loki pressed his thin body against his, startling them both. Loki pulled back and looked Thor in the eyes, confused, lonely, wanting to be loved again.
The God of Mischief closed his eyes as Thor hesitated. His brother leant in and kissed his jaw, and then placed a kiss just below the hollow of his eye socket, another on the bridge of his nose, and one more on the corner of his mouth. Thor's lips were soft, but his stubble scratched Loki's delicate porcelain skin. Loki became enraptured with the sensation, wanting it to continue, to feel Thor pepper the rest of his body with his both rough and delicate kisses. This was unlike anything Loki had ever felt before, the heat blossoming in his chest, and his heart beating a fluttering tattoo against his ribs.
Thor moved away and Loki opened his eyes. He did not know it was possible for a man to feel this way about his brother. He did not know if it was right, or moral, but he knew he didn't want it to stop. Thor pulled back again, and looked at Loki carefully, as though he was uncertain about why he was doing this.
Loki didn't realise he had leant in until Thor's lips connected with his own and he let out a gasp of pleasure. There was a deep rumble above their heads, and Loki pulled away again, casting his gaze upwards towards the gathering storm clouds. The rain began to fall suddenly, but a few droplets here and there turned into a torrential downpour in moments. Thor caught Loki's eye and they scrambled into standing, slipping on the dust which had quickly become mud. Thor was first on his feet, rain soaking his clothing, plastering his hair to his scalp. He reached out to Loki, fallen in the mud, and his brother took his outstretched hand. Thor's palm was soft and warm, and Loki clung to him as though he were the very air they breathed. Thor grinned, and pulled Loki behind him, breaking into a run as the darkness rained upon them. Loki ran, faster and harder than he had ever run in his life. He felt it then, the forgotten happiness, the forbidden joy, fighting its way up in his throat, bubbling over his lips, infections, glorious laughter.
Thor turned as he ran, seeing Loki being pulled along, his hair sopping wet, his eyes sparkling, stumbling, tripping, laughing. And soon Thor was laughing too, and the two brothers ran through the rain to the caves where it was dark and cold and safe, and they laughed all the way.
Thor reached the wide mouth of a deep cave, tugging Loki inside. The two men staggered undercover as Thor pulled Loki's body to him and they embraced, dripping wet and shivering.
Thor kissed his brother's cheek, and left him for a moment, disappearing to the back of the cave and returning with a thick pelt of a creature Loki did not recognise, which he laid on the dusty floor. The fur was an oily sheen of blues and greens, abandoned from an expedition long ago, and Thor knelt down, beckoning to his little brother. Loki sat beside him, his eyes darting around like a small, frightened creature.
Thor's large hands moved to the buckles on Loki's armour, fumbling a little, slick with rainwater. Loki's leather coat and tunic fell heavily to the floor, exposing his bare chest. The liesmith did not make a sound as Thor undressed him, fascinated. Thor paused as Loki leant forwards and kissed him softly on the lips, and his hands found their way into his brother's dark hair, combing through the strands and calming him. Loki made quick work of Thor's armour, and the two men struggled out of the remainder of their wet clothing. Naked and warm, they fell into each other's arms.
Thor held his little brother and carefully laid him back on the fur, covering his pale body with his own. Outside, a heavy rain continued to fall, and thunder tore through the ashen sky. Lightning split the horizon with flashes of brilliant light, illuminating the smooth toned back of the thunder god as it rose and fell, curving and rippling as Loki met each thrust, lifting his hips and arching his own back, his legs wrapped around Thor's waist.
Through the sound of rain pounding the earth, the cries of two lonely men caught in the throes of passion echoed from that hidden cave, that temporary fortress, and out, out into the infinite night.
For now they were no longer princes, nor brothers. They were not soldiers of the battlefield. They did not share that bond of blood, or dirty the names of their fathers with their actions. On that world, and in that moment, they were people. They were lost and they were found, and they were friends, and lovers, and above all, above all, they were loved.
And that is the sweetest sorrow of all.