A/N: Hi all! I know this update took a bit longer than my previous ones, but the holiday season was quite busy and I was doing a lot of other writing and such.

Anyway, thanks to all of you who continue to read and review. It really means a lot. I also want to remind everyone that this story is AU—it does NOT follow canon. A lot of what happens relates to canon and isn't that far off, but this chapter brings up some things that are most certainly not canon and I didn't want to get any backlash as a result!

So please enjoy the chapter and thanks again for your support!

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER.

Lily's stomach sank as she looked up from her book to see a large tawny owl pecking at her window, a letter in her beak. The letter had the same seal as the previous ones—ornate, red, with a swirling "P" in the center. She opened the window to allow the owl inside, but immediately crumpled the letter and threw it onto the growing pile on her desk. The owl squawked angrily and clicked her beak, upset at Lily's refusal to read the letter she had so carefully carried.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not ready to write to James just yet," she said, more for her own benefit than the owl's. "I don't know what to say to him."

She tried to shoo the owl back out the window, but the creature didn't want to budge. Lily sighed and sat down at her desk, wondering how many unanswered letters it would take before he would stop writing to her. She stroked the owl's feathers absently while remembering the look on James' face last week when he had left her office.

He had looked so hurt, so vulnerable. It wasn't the first time a man had looked at her like that, but it was certainly the first time she'd felt sorry for causing it. She had never wanted so badly to take something back, to wipe that look off his face, to reassure him that she had wanted him to kiss her.

Because she had wanted him to kiss her, hadn't she? All week since he had kissed her, she had wrestled with the realization that a part of her—a much bigger part than she cared to admit—trusted James.

Lily Evans had long lost the ability to trust. In that brief moment when his lips had touched hers, she remembered how it felt to let her guard down and still feel safe—something she had not experienced in a long time. Sure, she trusted Alice, superficially. But she still felt insecure that one day their friendship would end, and then she would be alone again.

Lily hadn't truly trusted another person since she was eleven years old. She tried to shut her eyes and push the memories away, but she couldn't prevent the images from flooding in. She pulled her arms around her legs and tried to quell the shaking and the heartache as she remembered her sister, her best friend, calling her a freak. Her parents, horrified by her magical abilities, sending her away. The horrible place where she spent two years of her life, getting the magic beaten out of her. The fear and uncertainty she felt when she finally managed to run away. Her mistrust of Alice's family, the only kind souls willing to take her in and teach her how to properly use her magic.

Her life had taught her protect her heart and keep it locked up, safe and sound. If her family, the only people in the entire world who were supposed to love her always, could abandon her, then why would she willingly open up to anyone else? She had never once considered that anyone trustworthy enough might come along.

Until now.

Remus Lupin sat at the bar with his head bowed and his hands wrapped tightly around his beer. A young couple took the seats next to him and he looked up briefly at them. The man raised his eyebrows when he noticed Remus' old checkered jacket and tattered trousers. He was tired of the stares and raised eyebrows and condescending comments, so he looked the man in the eye and crossed his arms defensively. The man recoiled from Remus' angry glare, grabbing the woman's arm and pulling her away to new seats much farther away from Remus.

He turned away from the couple and let his head droop again. A familiar flash of guilt settled in his chest as he thought about how fast things had escalated in the past few months. When he had graduated school last spring, he and his friends had settled into their own routines surprisingly quickly. James and Sirius started playing professional Quidditch immediately, Peter started work at The Daily Prophet as an assistant, and Remus was lucky enough to be offered a job at an apothecary.

Things were going smoothly—until the rumors started. At his friends' Quidditch matches, at work, at their favorite pub…no matter where he went, people were whispering about him and his "furry little problem."

No one came out and said werewolf, of course. They whispered jabs about his shabby clothes, the pallor of his skin, his cuts and bruises, and what that all meant. His friends endured stares and comments about the trash they associated with. By September, Remus had lost his job.

It had been a month since he was fired, and things were only getting worse. Remus insisted that he keep his distance as much as possible from his friends in order to protect them. Peter, Sirius, James, and James' parents were the only ones, to their knowledge, who knew the true nature of Remus' condition. Remus refused to entertain the idea that any of his friends would betray him, but he had no idea who could have done this. The trouble he was causing his friends tore away at him wretchedly, plaguing his thoughts all day long and haunting his dreams at night.

His thoughts were interrupted by the barmaid, who was apparently trying to get his attention.

"Another drink?" she nodded toward his nearly empty tankard.

"No, thank you," he replied, draining the last of his beer quickly as he stood up. He checked his old pocket watch with a sigh and noticed that it was half past six. He turned to leave but was surprised to see James making his way toward the bar.

"James," Remus hissed as James appeared beside him. "I told you to meet me out back."

"I'm not meeting you out back by the bins as if you're some kind of criminal," James scoffed, holding his head up high. "You're my mate, Remus."

Remus grumbled and looked around. The couple from earlier was watching him again, the man's eyes narrowed and suspicious. Other patrons were starting to stare, too.

"Let's just get out of here," Remus pushed James toward the door and away from the glaring crowd. "It's not friendly in here."

The night air was cold as they stepped into the back alley. Remus shivered as the wind cut through the holes on his tattered jacket.

"Don't let them get to you, mate," James said. "They're prejudiced. They don't know the real you."

"They don't need to," Remus growled, kicking the ground. "I'm tired of getting glared at all because someone had to go spreading gossip about me. I'm tired of people whispering about you and Sirius and Pete—"

"Remus," James grabbed his friend's shoulders. "Relax. We'll get to the bottom of it. I promise you that. I don't care what people are saying about me, and neither do Peter and Sirius. You know that. We're just worried about you, mate."

"Well DON'T!" Remus groaned. "Please just…I can't do this anymore. I'm leaving town. Tomorrow."

"Remus, please!" James said, desperation in his voice. "The full moon is on Saturday. Three days away. Just—stay for the full moon. Don't do anything rash. We'll talk through this. We'll figure something out."

James loosened his grip on Remus' shoulders as the latter stopped fighting and slumped to the ground with his head in his hands.

"We'll go to my mum's tomorrow. I'm sure she'll help us figure out something. She's bound to know someone who can get you a job—"

"If I stay, will you run with us on Saturday?" Remus interrupted. "I know you and Sirius had a fight, but I can't leave town knowing that you aren't speaking."

"I…" James sputtered. "I can't face him yet." Mostly because I know he's right.

"James. You need each other more than ever. Things are getting serious. Ten more Muggles have been found dead."

"Ten more?" James' mouth fell open. "How did this happen?"

"Wow, your head really has been up your arse," Remus muttered. "Yes, James, Voldemort is getting stronger and he's killing Muggleborns and blood traitors, and any Muggles that get in his way."

James was silent for a few moments. He'd been so consumed with what was going on with Lily that he hadn't heard about the latest killings. They weren't broadcasted, of course—the papers did a fine job of covering up what was really happening, all in the name of "preventing panic." Most people knew better—that Voldemort had followers on the inside at The Ministry, and they were keeping everything quiet, thereby creating more panic. But James hadn't been paying attention to anything regarding Voldemort.

In fact, James hadn't really paid much attention to anything since his father died. He focused all of his effort on Quidditch, ignoring the outside world, grieving for his father and doing all he could to suppress the guilt gnawing at his insides. His heart pounded painfully as he realized how bad things have gotten.

"James?" Remus stood and waved his hand in front of James' face. "Are you going to run with us or not? We need to stick together. And if it means I have to stay until after the full moon to make sure you two resolve your differences, then I will. I couldn't live with myself if something were to happen to you."

"Of course I will, Remus. But…we don't want you to leave," James replied. "I know this has been tough on you, but we won't run out on you, no matter how tough it gets for all of us."

Remus only nodded in response.

Lily felt like all of the air had been sucked out of her lungs. She stared at the letter, trying to catch her breath, her heart racing.

You have yet to get the information we need. I heard about what happened at the office—the whole staff saw him kiss you. Go to him, and tell him that you reciprocate his feelings. Date him. Meet his family. Do whatever you have to do, but this is your last chance. If you fail, I will destroy you. You will have no job, and no one to run to. I will make sure of that.

Having a relationship with a source is more than enough grounds for me to fire you. And there were plenty of witnesses. Do not fail.

Lily was horrified. If she didn't get involved with James, she would be fired. If she followed her editor's orders…if she got involved with James…she'd have to destroy him.

Could she really do that? Could she destroy the one person that had given her hope? But hope is nothing but a possibility. Lily needed certainty. Not hope. You can only trust yourself. You are on your own.

But was she?James had kissed her. That means he has feelings for her, doesn't it? That he wants a relationship with her? If she were left without a job, would James take care of her? Could she let him?

She didn't know. What she did know was that she didn't have time to find out. Time was running out, fast. Her editor was not going to wait.

James' face flashed through her mind and she felt her heart breaking. But she didn't have a choice.

As the owl faded into the sunset, Lily's note to James in her beak, Lily finally let herself cry.