Dude WTF

9foxgrl

Summary: While visiting Russia, America meets the obsessive Belarus on one of her many attempts to become One. He never knew she could be this PSYCHO!

"Dude your sister crazy!" America said as he shoved yet another bookcase in front of the cracking door.

Russia could only shudder in agreement.

America flinched at the bookcase just barely withstood another hit then proceeded to push another chair under the door know. How the Hell did a simple diplomacy meeting turn into THIS!

His Boss just had to make his go hang out with Russia in order to improve diplomatic relations.

All they were going to do was play Tetris, paintball, and maybe get drunk…but the plan DID NOT INCLUDE BEING CHASED BY A KNIFE WIELDING PSYCHO FROM THE AIRPORT!

"Don't you have a panic room or something?" America asked as he and Russia reinforced the door with the sofa.

"What is that comrade?"

"Oh you know just a high security room used to protect yourself from PSYCHOPATHS!"

"OPEN THIS DOOR BIG BROTHER! LET'S BECOME ONE!"

"It is a good idea comrade." Russia replied. "I will need to get one, da?"

"What have you tried to keep her out?" America screamed as they gave on blockading the door and made a break for the second floor where they would escape via the large tree next to Russia's home.

"Dead bolts, chains, duct tape, LARGE SHIPPING CONTAINER, the BALTIC SEA! Alaska even try to set her fire!" Russia replied as he slammed his office door shut just in time to hear a creepy voice calling for him. "None worked."

"Then there is only one plan left yo!"

"What comrade?"

America jumped out of the window, dragging Russia with him, just barely evading the broken chair as Belarus busted through their barricade. After landing in the tree, America quickly grabbed his phone out of his pocket.

"TONY! BEAM US UP ASAP

A minute later the two nations found themselves in Tony's underground lab.

"We escaped her this time…da?"

America just groaned. "I need a drink. You want something? I think I got some vodka somewhere in the fridge."

"That would be good, da?"

And with that Russia and America found a new common object and pastime.

Plotting while drinking.

When Canada came by to visiting the next morning he found both countries out cold on the floor with an impressive number of liquor bottles, some smelling like moonshine, all around them. And in the middle of the floor was a large board covered in various scribbles under the title:

How to subdue Belarus the next time she went on a rampage.

Set her up against Godzilla

Alcohol poisoning

Kryptonite :-3

Force feed her England's Cooking!

Get her drunk and married to one of the Baltics

Trap her in a room with Prussia!

Mortal Kombat

The rest of the board was covered in various words, some of which made no sense.

Canada just sighed. "I better make them coffee…and some pancakes…Why did they have to do this the day before a meeting?"

The two unconscious nations just snorted in their sleep.

A/n: The Shipping container bit goes to Pilipa whose Youtube video Russia's Problems just made me laugh!