The title comes from a Weird Al Yankovic song of the same name that this conversation kind of reminds me of. No real correlation, though.

Even though I put 'friendship' as one of the genres, I'm not so sure now I've read through.

This is was actually the first non-smut fanfic I ever wrote, but I only had it up on my dA account until now. In fact, this is the only parent friendly DGM fic I've ever written. . . .

Disclaimer: If I owned DGM, I wouldn't be writing fanfics for it.

Enjoy :)

"Yuu?"

"Shut up, baka Usagi."

"But Yuu. . . "

"Don't call me by that name."

"Why do you always eat soba?"

"None of your bloody business."

"You should try a bagel or something once in a while."

"Che."

"Here, have some of mine."

Lavi reached over the table to the samurai and shoved a golden halo of cream cheese smeared heaven between twin thin lips that had been expecting the warm noodles curled around the chopstick that never quite reached his mouth.
Kanda grunted around Lavi's fingers, struggling to spit out the chunk of food being forced further into his mouth.

"Just eat it, Yuu. There's a good boy." Crooned the soon-to-be-dead red head.

Kanda growled and chomped down on the Rabbit's digits. Dropping his chopsticks, he reached to unsheathe Mugen.

"Ack, you didn't have to go that far, you. . . '

"DIE.' Screeched the samurai. He launched himself Mugen first across the table at the exorcist, only to ram straight into Ozuchi Kozuchi.

"DAMN YOU, USAGI."

Kanda collected himself on the tabletop for another attack, taking off as Lavi looked around from behind his hammer.

'I'm only trying to broaden your horizons, Kanda. Really, you should be thanking me." Lavi grumbled, sidestepping the blue haired swordsman.

The customary death glare he received barely made him pause.

"You swallowed it though, did you like it, Kanda?"

"BAKA . . . "

"You did, didn'tcha, Grumpy?"

Now Kanda thought about it, he had.
This made the whole situation infinitely more infuriating.
Not that he'd ever let the idiot find out, Apostles of God be damned, Lavi wouldn't see another sunrise.