I sat down on the stool next to him, feeling like I was some kind of a balloon with all the air leaving it. I hadn't wanted this to happen, I hadn't planned on it. I don't know how I could have planned on it. Sheldon? Never in a million years did I think I'd have sex with Sheldon, or that Leonard would know, or that I would be facing him at the end of my shift, running on guilt and caffeine alone.

"Penny," he said again, my name like some sort of recrimination. I pressed my lips together and just looked at him. I had nothing to say.

"I've thought about it, about things, about what you did with Sheldon...and...I think we should break up," Tears welled in his eyes and one slipped and ran down his cheek. He was so different from any other boy I'd dated, none of them ever cried in front of me. I nodded. If that was what he wanted than that was what he wanted, and I couldn't blame him. How could I blame him?

"Okay," I said, and I stood up and nearly ran away.

In my apartment that night, wrapped up in my fuzzy robe and clinging to my glass of wine, I just let the tears slip down my face. Leonard had never been anything but wonderful to me and I just, just, slept with his roommate. I slept with him because I was drunk and so was he and I was so surprised that I couldn't stop anything, and what sort of reasons were those? And what about Sheldon? Did he even, I didn't know, did he even like me or was it just...some sort of experiment?

I heard the knocks at my door and wondered if it was Leonard or Sheldon, and would I be willing to let in either of them. I didn't know. I wanted to ignore the knocks, ignore myself and them and just drink my wine. Leave me alone, I thought at the door. Leave me alone.

"Penny?" More knocks, "Penny?"

It was Sheldon. I sipped my wine and let the rest of his knocking ritual play out, and then I sighed and set my wine down on the coffee table and padded over to the door.

I swung the door open and saw him standing in the hall, his head down. He was dressed as usual, comic book superhero T-shirt over a long sleeved shirt, plaid pants. I didn't know if I was going to let him in or say anything. I remembered the way his hands felt on my body, the way it all felt, so slow and exquisite. I felt myself blushing, the red color burning in my cheeks. I stood there and stared at him staring down.

"Penny, can I come in?" he said, and I noticed that the typical arrogance in his voice was missing, and he sounded...I didn't know. Different.

"Okay," I said, and stood aside so he could come in. He sat on the edge of my couch and I sat back where I was and picked up my wine glass. I felt my heart beating hard. Was I thinking we could have a replay of the other night? Was I hoping for that and looking forward to it?

"Penny," he said, and I could tell he had a whole speech planned. I wasn't sure I was up for a Sheldon speech, but I'd let him in and now I had no choice. I should let him have his say, if he had one. But didn't anyone want to hear mine?

"Leonard explained certain things, certain aspects of this situation that I was unaware of, and I realize that it wasn't proper behavior to have sex with you, considering that you and Leonard were dating at the time, and that I have broken certain unspoken rules of friendship with Leonard. He is willing to forgive me because he understands that I was not aware of all of this, because the interactions between people are difficult for me to grasp," He looked up at me with a look of, I didn't know, of vulnerability. I knew this about Sheldon, it was common knowledge and if you spent just one afternoon with him you know this, and I knew that he knew it, too, but I had never heard him say it, admit to any kind of fault.

"What I want to say is that I'm sorry if my actions were unacceptable to you,"

I looked at him, at his clear blue eyes, his pale skin. Poor Sheldon. This situation was more complicated than he could fathom. How could I begin to explain it to him?

"Listen to me," I said, taking one of his hands. He looked down at my hand lightly grasping his.

"I could have stopped you, but I didn't, so on some level I wanted to do that with you. I'm sorry it hurt Leonard, too, but I'm not sorry we did that, Sheldon,"

"You're not?" In this area he was so inexperienced, and I liked that. Usually he acted like he knew everything about everything, and I had kind of thought that he did. He was the smartest person I had ever met, and when he talked about science stuff I couldn't even follow along, I didn't know any of the words he used and if I had maybe heard the words before I didn't know what they meant.

"No, I'm not," I took his other hand, and he let me. I wanted to kiss him again, but maybe it was just that one time thing. I didn't know. If I had thought having Leonard as a boyfriend had its challenges I don't think I could imagine the challenges Sheldon would present.

"Good," he said, and he pulled his hands away.