Hello there, my wonderful readers! The third and final story to my little series. I hate putting it to a end, but, as I've said before, it just leaves doors open for me to write a new story. Not sure what I will write after this, whether it will be more Merlin or another show entirely, but, I thank you for all sticking with me and I hope to hear from you again in future stories.

Anywho, here we go!

-Monty

It had been a week since everything had happened in Lot's kingdom. Merlin and the others returned to Camelot and were greeted by all those closest to them. Everyone was happy to see that they had all returned safely, though they fussed over Merlin as if he might break into a million pieces at the slightest touch. He was better, but, everyone could see that something had transpired that had changed him some.

Even though he had said that he would tell Arthur right away what had happened, Gaius had prevented him from doing so. The old physician had took him straight away to their tower chambers to look him over and make sure there was nothing that needed to be mended.

After that, Merlin had fallen into a troubled sleep.

For the rest of the week no one saw him but Gaius.

The others tried, but, Merlin didn't want to see them. He needed time to collect his thoughts. When he was under the influence of the dark magic, his mind had been made up about everything. Every decision he made, every word he spoke came without the feeling of guilt or fear of consequences. Once the dark magic was gone, he felt remorse and everything that came with it ten times than what he normally would have.

The images of Morgana were burned into his mind.

Her screams haunted him at night.

He knew that Camelot was safer with her dead. He wasn't sorry for killing her. What he was sorry for was the way it was done. There could have been a more peaceful way. Something that wouldn't have caused her so much pain and agony in her last moments. The way he saw himself now, he was no better than Uther. He had told Gaius as much, but the older man had scolded him and told him not to ever think that way, but it was hard not to. Uther burned those he hated, those he wanted to see die - Merlin had done the same.

He wanted nothing more than to hide away with his guilt, but, Arthur wouldn't allow it.

At the end of a week, he sent Gwaine to fetch him.

A knock sounded at the tower chamber door and Merlin looked up from the book he was reading, then glanced over at Gaius. The older man moved away from the pots he had been adding new herbs to and made his way over to the door, opening it up.

"Evening, Gaius." Gwaine spoke, giving the older man a faint smile. "Is Merlin in?"

Gaius nodded. "Yes, but he doesn't wish to speak with anyone."

Gwaine sighed. "Well, he doesn't really have a choice now. Arthur is worried about him and wants to see him imediatly. I'm to bring him to him."

Gaius frowned deeply, only because he knew Merlin would argue. He glanced over his shoulder at the younger man and found Merlin already giving a shake of his head. With a grumble, Gaius opened the door more and motioned towards Merlin. "He's all yours." he said, knowing that this was for his own good.

Merlin, however, looked like he had been stabbed in the back. "Gaius!"

"Arthur just wants to speak with you. You need to talk with him." Gaius said, watching as Gwaine made his way over to Merlin.

"I don't want to talk with him. That prat knows it." Merlin slammed his book shut and glared over at Gwaine. "I'm not coming with you."

"Come on, mate. Don't make me escort you. Just come along with me, take a walk with me." Gwaine said. "It's not like Arthur is going to do anything to you. He just wants you to talk with him. He's worried about you. You've been stuck in here for a week - you're even growing a bit of a beard!" It was true, Merlin had some stubble growing along his jawline and chin and even a bit of a mustache coming in. It wasn't the most comfortable thing in the world, but Merlin hadn't really been worried about taking care of his appearance. "Merlin, please."

"Go, Merlin." Gaius ordered with his fatherly tone. "Now."

Merlin wanted to argue with them further.

Anything to delay going to see Arthur.

However, the looks on their faces told him that if he didn't get up and willingly go now, that they'd both help each other in taking him to see Arthur. Seeing as how he didn't have any other choice, Merlin slowly got up from his chair. He glanced over at Gaius for a moment and saw the older man giving him a nod of approval. He wanted to be angry at him and Gwaine for this, but, he knew it had to be done, so inwardly, he waved his white flag of defeat and followed Gwaine out of the tower chambers.

The walk to Arthur and Gwen's chambers was silent.

Merlin didn't feel like talking and Gwaine seemed to know that, so, the entire way there they just walked side by side in silence. Some people watched them as they went by. Everyone had been wondering what was going on with Merlin lately since he hadn't been seen since being returned to Camelot by the King. Many speculated that he was dying or that he was sick - or had even gone mad. Now they saw that he was alive and well and wondered what on Earth had happened to him.

He ignored them though, keeping his gaze down cast.

Right turn, left, left, left, right, down the stairs, another right - Merlin had the direction to Arthur's chambers memorized in his mind. Then again, it was kind of hard not to have it memorized, considering he had spent almost every day running back and forth from the place for several years. Soon they took that last right and Merlin looked up to see them approaching the room. He hesitated in his steps some when he saw that Arthur was already waiting outside his room for them, arms crossed over his chest, a look of contemplation on his features.

"Did he put up too much of a fuss?" Arthur asked as Gwaine and Merlin got to him.

Gwaine shook his head. "No, not as much as you thought he might."

Merlin's brow kinked.

"You mean he didn't kick and scream like a little girl?" Arthur huffed, looking disappointed. "Damn. I guess you get that day off. Have fun at the tavern."

Gwaine smirked. "Thanks, princess." he looked over at Merlin before he left and gave him a wink. When he was gone, it left Merlin and Arthur standing there in the corridor.

Instead of looking depressed like he had been for the past week, Merlin now looked a bit appalled. "You made a bet with Gwaine that I would kick and scream like a girl?" he asked. "Why?"

Arthur nodded. "Yes...I mean, let's face it Merlin, when you don't want to do something you tend to whine." he turned from him and headed into his room, a smile hidden from Merlin's view.

"I do NOT act like a girl when I don't want to do something." Merlin argued, following after him at his heels.

"Are you sure about that?" Arthur asked, settling himself down at his table.

Merlin peered at him. "Yes, you prat! Of course I am! If you brought me down here just to insult me then I'm going back to my ro...my room...what the bloody hell is so funny?" Merlin snapped suddenly as Arthur began chuckling at him.

Arthur chuckled a bit more. "Well, at least I know you're not completely gone. You're still able to run that mouth of yours - and you called me a prat. That's encouraging."

Merlin huffed, completely confonded. Arthur motioned for him to sit down, which he did, though he kept a scowl on his face.

"Sorry, I had to make sure there was still some part of you in there. Gwaine and I didn't really make a bet, though, I am pretty sure he really is going to take the day off now and go to the tavern. Probably not the best idea I've had concerning him, but, oh well." Arthur smiled some and looked Merlin over. He noted the extra facial hair, though he also saw that Merlin had dark rings under his eyes and the blue hues that were usually vibrant were a pale blue, as if the color in them was being drained. Also, it appeared as if his friend had lost some weight in which he couldn't afford to lose. "Merlin..." Arthur spoke, his voice soft, "I think it's time you told me about everything that happened."

Merlin clenched his teeth, picking at his fingernails.

"Merlin..."

"What do you want me to say?" Merlin shrugged. "My plan worked. Morgana told me everything she knew. I told you most of that on the way back to Camelot."

"Yes, about what her plans were and such. The information that you were able to obtain is being put to use. We have spies heading to all of the kingdoms that pulled away from Camelot and we have spies in Lot's kingdom to give us reports of anything going on there. We're also looking for ways to strengthen Camelot's defences here at the home front. All valuable information which we are grateful for. I know all about that and again, I thank you for it, but...more than just gathering information happened." Arthur continued to stare at Merlin, not letting his gaze let up once. Eventually he glanced over at him and their eyes met in which Arthur gave him an encouraging nod. "You can tell me."

Even though he didn't want to have to tell Arthur about what had happened and relive everything all over again, Merlin straightened up in his chair and with a deep breath, he began to tell Arthur what had happened. Everything. Down to the very last detail.

Arthur sat there and listened, not once interrupting him.

He spoke of finding out about Caradoc's betrayal. He told Arthur about Morgana and her cruel torture tactics and how he had even made a friend out of a rat. He described Gwaine arriving and everything that had transpired with that and then he told Arthur of the black blade.

Of course, after that came the part of where Merlin faced down Morgana.

To many it would have sounded like a fantastic battle from a story book. A brave young man, facing down a terrible witch, defeating her and finally having her at his mercy.

But then Merlin's voice choked up as he began describing how Morgana's final moments played out.

Arthur found himself sitting there, face paling somewhat.

"I don't know what came over me..." Merlin said, staring off into nothing, the images of that evening playing over and over in his mind.

Arthur now understood his friend's hurt and burden. He wished there were something he could do, something he could say that might make everything better for him, but the best that he could do was, "You were sick, Merlin."

"...I just...I saw her there and I knew that if I let her live then she would keep coming. She would keep trying to hurt you and Camelot - everyone. I - I just couldn't let her do that..."

Arthur was now wishing that perhaps Gwen was in there with them.

She was always better at these kind of conversations, at bringing someone peace.

Peace was what Merlin needed.

Still, Arthur tried his best. "Morgana knew that the path she was taking was a dangerous one. She understood what the consequences could be-"

"She didn't!" Merlin suddenly exclaimed, looking at him. "She had no one to really guide her, to help her! She had no idea what she was going to have to go through in the end! I'm sure if she had known...if she had seen how things were going to turn out..."

"Merlin, you did what you had to do."

Silence.

Then, "I didn't have to do that... Not that."

"Like I said, you were sick. Like you said, black blade had infected you with dark magic, that it was changing you somehow but that your magic was fighting against it. I honestly believe that the only reason why you didn't try to take out Lot's entire kingdom was because you managed to hang onto the good within you. You're not evil, Merlin, you were just sick."

"I burned her." Merlin's voice shook as he sat there, arms resting against the table top, head bowed as silent tears rolled down his face. "She was screaming so much..."

Arthur's heart broke for his friend.

Merlin was a kind soul who only hurt those when he needed to, when it was absolutely nesassary and even then the punishments were quick or weren't cruel. What he had done to Morgana was horrifying and he knew that inwardly it had broke his friend - but he had no control over it. He was sick. Dark magic was eating away at him. Morgana was a enemy and he had done what every other warrior in his place would have done. He had killed her.

"Merlin," at Arthur's gentle tone, his friend looked over at him, "you are not a monster. No one sees you any differently. You did what had to be done and it's not always easy, but, sometimes there is just no way around it. If you feel so badly about what happened, then I say to try your best not to let anything take hold of you ever again. Strengthen your magic. I will give you all the time in the world that you need in order to do so." he held Merlin's gaze, waiting for him to do something, anything, to show him that he was listening and would take his words to heart. Finally, Merlin gave a small nod of his head. Arthur smiled faintly and reached over, grasping Merlin's wrist. "You can get through this. I need you to get through this." he sighed at the last part.

He honestly had no idea how he was going to get prepared for everything without Merlin.

His friend knew more about what they were up against and he needed his guidance.

Again, Merlin nodded, though now his expression turned serious, his eyes darkening some what. "Yes, you do." he said, voice quiet.

Arthur's brow creased. "Is there something more you've not told me?"

Merlin had been contemplating keeping this part to himself, but, Arthur needed to hear it. "Remember the Druid boy that you helped Morgana save?"

Arthur nodded. "Yes."

"He's going to try to kill you." The words hung there in the air between the two of them. They were heavy, omnious. Death threats were nothing new to Arthur, but this just seemed to shake him to his core. "It's been his destiny to kill you all along and I've lost sight of that over the years...and because of that...he's grown stronger." Merlin's stare held onto Arthur's, making sure he heard every single word that was about to leave his mouth. "With Morgana dead, he's going to try to kill you now."