[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer
[A/N] I want to thank those of you who've been supportive of this sequel. Your love for the characters in my story touches my heart.
This is the last chapter. It doesn't have to be goodbye forever, though. It's just goodbye for now…
**22**
I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to fight off the painful throbbing of a beginning migraine attack. The new hormone pills weren't doing well with me. But it was mainly because of the conversation I was having with my wife that my head was hurting now.
"We need to tell him." She stated, adding a second spoon of sugar into her tea. "It's important."
"No. We're not going to tell Andy." I snarled a bit too harsh. As soon as I saw the expression on Alice's face I regretted my tone. She was so sensitive. There was nothing I hated more than fighting with her.
"He has a right to know about his father." Alice mumbled, her voice trembling with tears.
I reached over the table, giving her hand a gentle tug. "I know. But I just can't. Andy is too young to understand the situation."
"He's old enough to ask questions."
"Andy asks questions about everything in case you haven't noticed it."
Alice sighed and stood up from the chair. She turned around to put the empty plates into the dishwasher. I could hear a low sobbing noise coming from her mouth. It broke my heart.
"Honey, don't cry now." I whispered, standing up to pull her into a tight embrace. "I only want what's best for the boy."
"Best for Andy," she sobbed. "Or best for you?"
Both, I thought, rocking Alice's dainty body against my chest from behind. Very lightly, I touched the skin on her shoulder with my lips, leaving a mark of red lipstick on her shirt.
"I'm sorry." I whispered. "I love you."
"I love you too." Alice murmured, turning her head to me to kiss my mouth. "But we need to do something about Andy asking about his father."
My head throbbed. If Alice got persistent about something it was difficult to distract her. Finally, after hesitating for a few moments, I suggested that we would take Andy with us to our next appointment with my therapist.
xxxx
Zafrina wasn't a kid's person. That much was obvious after the first few minutes she had talked to our three-year-old.
"What are you drawing there?" she asked, kneeling down next to him on the couch.
"Uncle Edward's car." Andy explained. "It drives fast."
"Do you like driving fast?"
Andy nodded his head and continued scrawling around on the sheet of paper in front of him. "My Mommy never drives fast."
Zafrina sat down on the carpet and watched him drawing for a few minutes.
"Andy, do you know the difference between boys and girls?"
He looked up, scrunching his tiny eyebrows. "Girls cry when you pull their hair."
Alice laughed next to me on the couch. I tightened my hold around her fingers a bit. This wasn't going to work. It was embarrassing and awful. There was only one thing I knew for sure. I wouldn't endure if Andy would actually call me Dad to my face. I'd rather kill myself.
"Do you pull the hair of the girls in your kindergarten?"
"No."
"Why?" Zafrina asked, playing with the countless wooden bracelets around her wrist.
"Because my uncle Edward said you can't be mean to girls."
Zafrina nodded her head. "He's right about that. Look, Andy, your mothers said that you keep asking them about your Daddy."
Andy shrugged his shoulders. "I know where my Daddy is."
I cringed, feeling my heart cramp deep within my chest. I didn't want him to know. He wouldn't be able to handle it. Hell, I was barely able to handle the situation myself. This was the reason why I didn't want to have children in the first place.
Andy was a surprise, a much cherished and loved surprise…
"Where do you think he is?" Alice asked him nervously.
"Jail." Andy stated. "My Daddy is in jail because he robbed a bank."
"Oh that wasn't very nice of him." Zafrina stated. "Robbing banks is a bad thing to do."
"No," my little son stated patiently. "He gave all the money to the poor, like Robin Hood."
Zafrina stood up from the floor, stretching her arms above her head. "Andy, why don't you go play with Senna? I need to talk some more to your mothers."
When he was gone, I cleared my throat. "See, I told Alice this isn't going to work."
"Bella, breathe. You don't have to tell your son the truth if you don't wish to do so."
"But Andy keeps asking about his father all the time." Alice said. "We don't know what to tell him. It makes Bella feel bad when he does."
I cringed. "Isn't that understandable? I hate being reminded of my male past."
"Well," Zafrina began in a low voice. "Without said male past your child wouldn't exist."
"I know." I answered. "I know, but still. I don't want Andy to know."
"Alice?"
My beautiful wife coughed. "I want what's best for Andy."
"In my opinion it would be best if the two of you decided on some story to tell him. You could tell him his father lives far away. Or that he died. Just tell him something that gives him an answer to his question."
After the therapy session, Alice and I took Andy to have some ice-cream. Halfheartedly I stirred around in my own cup while he licked off the melting vanilla ice-cream from his plastic spoon.
I waited. I waited for Alice to start talking but it didn't happen. Usually, she was way better with words than me.
"Don't you like your ice-cream?" Andy asked, wiping his ice-cream smeared chin with the back of his hand.
"Mommy is just not very hungry right now." I murmured. "Look, Andy, I want to tell you about your Daddy."
"Is he really in jail?" Andy wanted to know, nibbling on the plastic spoon.
I shook my head. "He's…he's in heaven." I whispered, trying to keep my voice was calm as possible. "Your Daddy was a sailor and drowned in the Sea."
"Oh," Andy whispered. "My Daddy is dead?"
Both, me and Alice nodded. "But you don't have to be sad, honey." Alice told him. "Your Daddy loved you very much and he looks down at you from heaven all the time."
"Like Jesus?"
"Yeah, kind of like Jesus." I stated. "Now, finish your ice-cream, sweetie. We want to go home."
Later at home, it took us forever to get the boy to sleep. If his Daddy had been a pirate, he wanted to know. If we were sure that he really drowned and so on.
It was already close to midnight when Alice and I finally made it to bed ourselves.
"I've been thinking." Alice said, brushing through her hair while I changed into a silk nightgown. "I've been thinking that I should give up painting."
"No." I stated. "I don't want you to do that. You love painting."
She smiled a tortured smile. "I can still paint in my free time, but I want to start making some money of my own now."
I sat down at the edge of our bed and petted the place next to me. "I don't want you to give up something you love so much, at least not for money."
With a sigh, Alice sat down next to me. I wrapped my arms around her and cradled her against my chest. "You're an artist. Not a teacher."
"No one wants to buy my paintings."
"Most famous painters never made a dime while they were still alive." I told her, playing with the fine curls in her neck. Andy had her hair. I loved that.
"I want to paint you."
I smiled. "You've painted me and Andy just last week."
"No," Alice murmured. "I want to paint you naked. I've wanted to do that forever but you never let me."
I exhaled loudly through my teeth. Then I pulled my nightgown over my head and leaned back against the pillows behind my head.
"Make good use of your chance. It won't come again."
Alice rushed to get her painting supplies. Patiently I let her make me sit up and lie down and turn over to my side until she had eventually the position she wanted me to hold for the painting.
Getting painted was boring. Alice worked in concentration and didn't speak at all. When I felt her lips brushing against mine, I flinched.
"I didn't fall asleep." I murmured tiredly. "Are you done?"
"I am." Alice whispered, kissing me tenderly. "Do you want to see?"
I nodded my head and rubbed my eyes. "Yes, please."
Alice walked over and turned the picture around. It was kept entirely in black and white. I liked it instantly.
"See? You're beautiful to me. I want you to always know that."
"It's amazing." I told her. "I love you."
"I love you. Thanks for letting me paint you like this."
"You're welcome. What's the dark stuff laying under my feet?"
Alice cleared her throat. "That's your fish tail. See, there are the fish scales. I will work those out tomorrow when I have better light."
I cupped her face carefully between my hands. "No mermaid anymore?"
"Yes. Do you remember how we read the fairytale together? She was supposed to stay human if the prince would fall in love with her."
"But he didn't."
"In the fairytale, yes, but this is real life. In real life you have found me. I love you the way you are."
I sniffed, feeling how my throat felt too tight to swallow. "Oh baby, I love you. "
"I love you too. I love you more than I could ever tell you."
I couldn't manage to fall asleep, even after Alice had passed out in my arms. I would have to let her sleep in tomorrow. The kid would be tired too.
"Good night, darling." I whispered into Alice's ear. "Thank you for everything, my heart."